Let Love In
by KekahJ
Summary: Edward and his parents move to Forks from Chicago. Bella is the elusive girl in Edward's biology class that he can't seem to get close to. She's beautiful, but there's something about her that he can't put his finger on.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 1

I groaned and stretched as the alarm clock sounded somewhere close to my right ear. _Not yet, _I silently begged. I wasn't ready to face my first day in a new school yet. _Ugh_. I rolled over on my stomach and buried my face in the pillow.

"Sweetie, it's time to get up." My mother Esme's voice permeated my consciousness.

"I don't want to," I groaned, rolling over onto my back.

"Edward. Come on," she said, adding a little more force. "You don't want to be late for your first day."

Knowing it was inevitable, I rolled out of bed, shivering as my feet hit the cold floor.

I showered and dressed quickly, standing briefly in front of the long mirror on my closet door to study my face. I looked tired and pale in the grey morning light. There was a light stubble on my face but I didn't bother shaving. My copper colored hair was its usual chaotic mess. I sighed while running my hands through it. _Forget it, _I thought darkly. It never did anything that I wanted it to do, so I had stopped trying a long time ago. I stumbled down the stairs, stubbing my toe as I went, cursing under my breath.

"Good morning, Son," my father Carlisle's booming voice echoed through our new kitchen. He was sitting at the table, reading the paper. _Could he be any more of a cliché?_

My mom was bustling around the kitchen and I could hear the popping and frying of bacon on the stove. My stomach rolled as the smell of hot grease hit my nose. I was definitely too anxious to handle bacon this morning.

"Sit down, Edward. Eat," Esme ordered, motioning to the table.

"I'm not really hungry, mom. I think I'm going to head off to school. I don't want to be late," I answered, grabbing my bag and heading for the door.

"Okay, honey. I hope you have a good day," she said pressing a warm kiss to my forehead as she intercepted my exit. I shivered and pulled my coat tighter as the cold air hit me. I looked up at the dark grey sky and groaned. The cold was familiar; it was cold in Chicago. The wet was going to take some getting used to though. As I looked up at the rolling black clouds, I could feel a fine mist coating my face.

I sighed as I lugged the door of my old beat up truck open. Carlisle had given me a hard time about bringing this truck with us all the way across the country to Forks, but I insisted. I loved this truck; it had a lot of personality. It was the kind of giant hunk of steel that they just didn't make anymore. The engine roared to life and the sound was somehow comforting in the early morning. It was familiar in the new wet green landscape that I now called home.

We had moved to Forks, Washington last week when Carlisle took a job as the new Chief of Medicine at the hospital in Forks. When he had come home months ago and told Esme and me that he was thinking of accepting the position, we both thought he was crazy. But ultimately, Esme and I gave in to his desire to return to his home state. We understood that he was sick of the drama and politics of the large hospital in Chicago, and longed for the small town atmosphere and simplicity of a place like Forks. Unfortunately for me, this meant changing high schools during my senior year. Relocating to a small town in the Olympic Peninsula was less than ideal as far as I was concerned, but Esme and I were willing to sacrifice for Carlisle.

I sighed again and tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes as I navigated my way through the streets of the drowsy little town. The roads were wet, of course, and all I could see passing by as I drove was a blur of green. I knew the way to the high school because I had already driven by it several times since we arrived last week.

I pulled into the parking lot of the small school. I easily found a parking spot, even though I was running later than I wanted due to the argument with my alarm clock. I zipped up my old ragged jacket and slung my backpack over my shoulder as I slammed the door of my ancient truck. I headed for the small cottage style building which appeared to be the office so I could check in.

The secretary looked up as I entered the small, warm room. As she took in my appearance, she smiled as if she were expecting me. _Great, _I thought sarcastically. _Stupid small town_.

"You must be Edward Cullen. We've been expecting you to show up. I have everything you need right here, dear," she said as she handed me a stack of papers. I smiled politely at her. In the back of my mind I had known that someone with Carlisle's credentials coming to this small town would be a big deal. I just didn't want to have to deal with it. I took the papers from her and found the small map. I didn't anticipate having any problems finding my way around this small school since the high school I had attended in Chicago was much bigger than this one. If I could handle that, this one should be a piece of cake.

My first class was English. I found the classroom and ducked into a seat near the back of the room after handing my paperwork to the teacher. I took a deep breath and looked around the classroom. It was small and the desks were old and worn. The floor was faded linoleum and the chairs sounded loud as students shifted around in their seats before class started.

I turned my attention from my surroundings to my new classmates and was slightly annoyed to be met by so many curious stares. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

"Don't worry, man. They're like lemmings. Once the next shiny new object comes their way you won't get so much attention."

I turned to see a boy with dirty blond hair falling in his eyes smirking at me. I smiled at him and shook my head.

"Well, I hope for my sake they get something shiny and new soon. I don't do well in the spotlight," I said, scrubbing my hand over my face and through my hair again.

"The bad thing about living in a small town is everyone knows your business. The good thing is, since it's a small town it's boring as hell, so you usually don't have any business," he grinned, and I couldn't help but grin back at him. "I'm Jasper," he said nodding at me. "My family moved here a few years ago from Texas, so I know what you're going through."

"Yeah, it's a little different from Chicago. I'm Edward."

We turned our attention to Mr. Wagner as he began his lecture. The rest of the morning passed in much the same way. There were curious stares and ill-concealed whispers as I walked into each new class.

Later, when I was heading towards the cafeteria for lunch I spotted the boy from English, Jasper, ahead of me. I hurried and caught up with him. He turned his head to the side as I reached him.

"Lunch?" he asked simply.

"Sure," I said and followed him.

We reached the small cafeteria. I looked around briefly as we entered. The Formica tables were multicolored and faded and didn't seem to be arranged in any particular order; that in combination with the random squares of colored tiles placed in the linoleum floor in no discernable pattern made my OCD flair up.

Jasper sauntered over to a table and tossed his stuff on the floor. Already occupying a chair at the table was an icy looking blond girl who eyed me suspiciously for a moment before looking around the cafeteria as though searching for something. After furrowing my brow at her briefly trying to figure out why she looked so annoyed, I turned my attention to the table's other occupant: a tiny girl with short black hair who looked like she was vibrating as she sat there looking at Jasper. He smiled lazily at her and leaned down to kiss her. As soon as his lips touched hers, she stopped moving and I could almost hear her sigh in relief.

"Sorry," he said, breaking their rather intimate posture, "this is Edward. Edward, this is my sister Rosalie and my girlfriend Alice." He gestured first to the blond, and then to the tiny raven haired girl.

The blond raised one eyebrow at me before looking over my shoulder, resuming her search for something. The dark haired girl bounced in her seat.

"Don't mind Rosalie. She's not able to rest until she sees Emmett. It's nice to meet you. I'm Alice," she grinned at me. I couldn't help but smile at both her and her enthusiasm, even though her intensity was slightly annoying.

I set my bag down and went to get in line. I grabbed a slice of pizza and a soda and returned to the table. In my absence, Rosalie had apparently found what she was looking for in the form of a huge boy with brown curly hair. As I sat down at the table, she was draped over him and he was grinning as she whispered in his ear. As I set my tray down she looked up at me and I could have sworn I saw her roll her eyes at me.

"Emmett, this is Edward, Jasper's new friend," she said, her icy tone matching the cold stare she gave me.

"Nice to meet you, man," Emmett boomed, reaching out a hand. I took it and had to make an effort not to wince as he tried to crush my palm.

Jasper and Alice returned with their food shortly and we all ate and laughed. I was surprised at how much of a good time I was having with these people. Aside from Rosalie's rude behavior, everyone was friendly.

We were all laughing at Jasper as he juggled apples while Emmett tried to throw an orange in to disrupt his concentration, when my attention was diverted. Across the cafeteria, the door had just opened, letting in an icy gust of air. In walked a blond boy with his arm around a shorter, just as blond girl. They were smiling at each other. I couldn't help but notice that they were both very attractive. I noted, with some amusement the marked difference between them and the rest of the population of Forks High; their clothes were obviously expensive, and they carried themselves…differently. They didn't look like they belonged in a high school cafeteria where people were juggling fruit and displaying too much public affection. I shrugged to myself, and was about to turn my attention back to the more ordinary members of the Forks High population at my table when I saw her.

She walked in behind the beautiful couple. If I had described them as beautiful, then I had no words to describe her. She had long brown hair that hung in loose shimmering waves down her back. She was small, no more than five foot four or five, and very petite while still being curvy. Her skin was incredibly pale, and the contrast between it and her dark hair was amazing. Even from across the cafeteria I could see that she had full lips and thick long lashes. She was also clad in expensive looking clothing, and, like her companions, looked like she did not belong here. She scanned the cafeteria quickly with a disinterested look, quickly taking a seat with the boy and girl. She moved so gracefully and with such poise I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away.

I continued to watch the small group with their trays of food none of them seemed to touch. It didn't appear that any of them were talking to each other, but at the same time they were clearly not interested in the rest of the student body in the room either. I couldn't help staring. I was fascinated by these people. Who were they? What were they doing somewhere they so obviously did not belong?

"Dude, Edward. Are you coming? What's your next class?" I finally registered the voice that was speaking to me; Jasper.

"Umm…" I quickly consulted my schedule, "Spanish with Mrs. Goff."

"Oh! Jasper, that's on your way to Chemistry! You could walk Edward!" Alice chirped.

Jasper and I exchanged an uncomfortable look, both trying to assess if that is what the other wanted. Clearly, it was not.

"Uh, that's okay, Alice. I got it," I said quickly, as the look of relief washed over Jasper's face. Alice looked puzzled for a moment. I chuckled as I walked away and heard Jasper murmuring to Alice about why guys don't "walk each other to class."

Despite Alice's concerns, I found the Spanish classroom, and the rest of my classes, quite easily. The last class of the day was Biology. I found the small classroom, walked in, and handed my paperwork to the teacher.

"Welcome to class, son. I'm Mr. Banner. I assume that you took biology in Chicago," he said.

I answered that I had, keeping to myself the opinion that I had probably taken a much more advanced biology class in Chicago than what this little high school offered.

"Please take a seat. It looks like there are several available in the back of the room," Mr. Banner said.

I nodded and turned to walk towards the back of the room. That's when I saw her. My breath caught as I saw her hair fanned out over her shoulder. Her head was down and she was looking at a book as I walked towards the back. There was an empty chair next to the one she was occupying. I glanced briefly around and saw there were several other empty chairs, but I knew which one I would be sitting in. It might as well have been the only table in the room.

I approached and let my backpack thump onto the table. She continued to stare at her book for a moment before finally lifting her head to level her gaze at me. What I saw there staggered me. Her eyes were the most amazing color I'd ever seen. They were a rich topaz gold. Her face was impossibly pale and again I was struck by the contrast between it and her dark rich hair. She was gorgeous; her features were perfect. Besides her amazing eyes, she had a small heart shaped face with high cheek bones, and her nose and chin were perfectly proportioned.

She stared at me for a moment, and I was confused by the intensity of her gaze. Finally, her look turned to one of frustration and what seemed to be surprise. She furrowed her eyebrows briefly before breaking eye contact and returning to her book.

I pulled the chair out, letting it scrape across the linoleum floor loudly. I was confused and a little irritated by her look. Why did she look so frustrated? I decided to properly introduce myself.

"Hey, I'm Edward. Mind if I sit here?" I ventured, even though I was already in the process of sitting down, and really had no intention of moving.

Without looking up she nodded. I looked at her, puzzled. What is with the girls in this hick town? First Rosalie, now this girl. I wanted to push her further, to know why she was so obviously frustrated by me. Before I could say anything, Mr. Banner cleared his throat to signal he was starting class. As I sat there pretending to listen to the lecture, it occurred to me that maybe it was a mistake to choose to sit next to her when there were so many other choices. But as her beautiful face popped into my head again I felt like I had to be near her.

She continued to sit in the same position looking at her book, occasionally taking notes throughout class. Her hair fanned over her shoulder, creating a curtain so I couldn't see her face.

About ten minutes before the period was up she finally moved. I froze as she took her hand and swept her long brown hair back over her shoulder. The scent that hit my nose was intoxicating. It smelled like strawberries, and vanilla, and…heaven. Was that her? How could she smell like that? I'd never smelled anything like it.

Dazed, I looked up at her. For the briefest moment her eyes met mine again. The intensity of her gaze had me captivated. I couldn't stop staring into her golden eyes.

Finally, after what felt like forever, but not long enough, she broke away from my gaze. She sighed quietly, swung her hair back over her shoulder, and resumed perusing her book. I cleared my throat, suddenly embarrassed by my reaction to a simple look.

The period ended and she was out of her seat and out the door before I could even react, leaving me in a confused strawberry vanilla haze. I couldn't stop thinking about her as I gathered my things and prepared to leave. I didn't even know her name; I'd never even heard her speak. I tried to shake her from my head.

As I wandered outside, I spotted Jasper in the parking lot. I began walking towards my car. Jasper waved as he spotted me and trotted over.

"So, how was your first day?" he smirked. I sighed. I wasn't sure how to describe it, so I settled for a shrug.

"Don't worry. The slack-jawed-gawkers will be less interested tomorrow," he laughed.

"That will be a relief. By the way, Wagner's English assignment seems like it's going to really suck. Have you started on it yet?" I asked, suddenly remembering the heinous project assigned earlier in the day.

"Yeah, I've worked on it a little bit. Do you want to come over later and take a look at my notes?" Jasper suggested, scratching his chin.

"Sure," I shrugged. I liked Jasper so far. He seemed pretty laid back. Plus it would be nice to get a look at his notes for the assignment since I was getting a late start on it.

After receiving directions from Jasper, I got in my truck and headed home. I decided I should probably shower and check in with my mom. I was fully anticipating the third degree from her about my first day.

"Hi dear! How was your first day?" she asked predictably as she rounded the corner to the entry way. I ran my fingers through my unruly hair and dropped my backpack on the floor. I pecked my mother's soft cheek and sniffed loudly.

"What is that smell? Did you make me cookies, Mom?" I smiled as we headed into the kitchen. Sure enough, there was a plate of cookies and a glass of milk waiting for me at the table. She was so Suzy Homemaker. It was slightly ridiculous, but also a little endearing. I snatched a cookie from the plate and popped it in my mouth, its warm chocolate melting immediately. Suzy Homemaker or not, her cookies were the best.

"It was a good day. I met some people. One of them asked me to come over and do homework tonight," I said as I headed up the stairs.

Esme beamed. "Oh! I knew you'd make friends. Tell me all about them, dear!" she called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Later, Ma. I'm going to shower," I shouted down the stairs.

I showered and changed before heading out the door to Jasper's house. I'm pretty sure Esme wanted to protest about my leaving without dinner, but her desire for me to make friends overrode her concern for my nutritional needs.

It wasn't difficult to find Jasper's house. It turns out it was just down the road from mine. But then, Forks was a small town. Everything was just down the road from my house. He answered the door and showed me in to his room. He grabbed his Ipod and tossed it to me, telling me to pick some music I liked. He had a lot of music, I liked that.

After about an hour of hanging out in his room and surfing the internet watching YouTube videos, I decided to ask Jasper for some information.

"So, I sat next to this girl in biology today. I was wondering what you know about her."

"Oh yeah? Making a move already, huh Cullen? Nice," Jasper smirked. I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at him where he lay on his bedroom floor.

"I don't know. Probably not. She just acted really weird, and I want to know what her deal is."

"Who is it?" he asked, propping his head against the wall with the pillow I had just thrown at him.

"I don't know her name. I introduced myself to her, and she just stared at me. It was really awkward."

"Describe her."

I sighed. That wasn't going to be hard. Her beautiful face had been running through my head all day. "She's got long brown hair, great body, and these weird gold--" I stopped when I heard Jasper laughing loudly.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"That's Bella Swan, man. Yeah. She's weird, but that's an understatement. I mean, yeah, I guess she's hot and all; I've never really thought about it. But don't even bother."

Bella Swan. I thought about how her name fit her. Then I remembered the second part of what Jasper had said. How could he never have thought about her as being pretty? I mean, I get that he's devoted to Alice, but to not even notice someone as phenomenal looking as Bella Swan? That was just bizarre.

"Wait, what? What do you mean don't bother?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"Listen. She doesn't date. Ever. She doesn't even hang out with anyone except her sister and her cousin or whatever he is. Jessica and Mike, who, by the way, are dating. Yeah, it's just…weird. I don't know. Just, don't waste your time," he finished, shaking his head.

"Yeah, no. I wasn't going to," I said, shaking my head distractedly.

After that we worked on the English assignment for a while and Jasper asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner. I declined, saying I needed to get home before it got too late. That was partly true. However, I really felt like I needed to get home and clear my head. All I kept thinking about was Bella.

Bella Swan. Jasper said don't bother. Why was she so reclusive? She was gorgeous. I was sure that she could have dated any boy in school. But yet, according to Jasper, she ignored them, and they all ignored her. It was odd. I just couldn't figure it out. And what was the deal with her sister and cousin's situation?

Later, as I lay in my bed listening to the rain pound against my window in my new bedroom, I thought about the mysterious girl who had invaded my thoughts all day.

The more I thought about it, the more determined I was to crack the mystery that was Bella Swan.

**A/N: So this is my newly improved Beta'd chapter one. *whoo hoo!***

**Thanks to Belle of the Boulevard & MySmileIsMyTears for doing a fabulous job of cleaning up my messy writing.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 2

The next week went by in a blur. Just as Jasper had predicted, day by day the stares and whispers decreased as I became less of a novelty and more of a fixture at Forks High. I spent more time working on my English assignment with Jasper. I also ate lunch with him, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett. Rosalie continued to give me disdainful looks, but Emmett was great, and I was actually becoming fond of the little pixie, Alice, who never seemed to be able to sit still.

I never mentioned Bella again, but that didn't mean that I forgot about her. In fact, it seemed that with each passing day, I thought about her more.

In biology she still continued to ignore me. She would sweep her curtain of glorious hair over her shoulder and ignore me, leaving me in her intoxicating haze of strawberries and vanilla. Twice she made eye contact with me, and twice she stared at me in what seemed to me like anticipation and then frustration for a few moments before sighing and looking away.

Although I would never admit it, even to myself, I knew I was becoming obsessed. I knew it, but I didn't know what to do about it.

Finally, two weeks after my first day at Forks High, something changed. I walked into biology and immediately noticed that Mr. Banner had set up slides for a lab. It was the first time since I came to Forks High that biology had consisted of anything other than a lecture. Biology labs were new. Biology labs meant working, and talking, with biology partners. Biology partners were the people sitting next to you.

My heart began to beat faster as I sat down nervously. _Get a hold of yourself, Cullen. It's just a stupid bio lab,_ I thought, immediately feeling ridiculous for getting so worked up.

Mr. Banner gave each group a box of slides. I reached out to grab the box at the same time Bella did. I heard her gasp quietly as she pulled her hand quickly away, but not before I felt the spark of electricity as our hands met. Her hand was cool and smooth, but where her hand had briefly touched mine, I felt a slow burn that spread up my arm.

"Sorry," she murmured. I was still recuperating from the jolt of her touch when I was knocked over by the sound of her voice. It sounded like tinkling silver bells, but at the same time somehow it was low and throaty. I swallowed thickly and looked up at her, hoping to catch her eye. Instead, I was met by the same familiar curtain of hair.

I sighed. "Should we get started?" I asked. She nodded slightly from behind her hair.

"Go ahead," she said softly. I tried to ignore the fluttering in my stomach at the sound of her voice as I grabbed the box of slides and placed one under the microscope.

"So," I said slowly. I was determined to get her to talk to me. "How long have you lived here, Bella?"

She looked at me for a moment before she sighed. "My family has lived here for about a year," she said softly.

"Where did you live before that?" I asked, excited that she had actually said more than two words to me.

"Alaska." We were back to one word answers, apparently.

"Do you like it here in Forks?" I tried again.

"Yes." Hmm, not working. I needed to find some more open ended questions to ask her, so she couldn't get away with these short answers. I was quiet for a moment while I wracked my brain. I had to get to know her. Hearing her voice had only served to increase my growing fascination with her.

"I'm from Chicago. It's similar in temperature, but Forks is much wetter. I'm still getting used to all the rain. It doesn't seem to ever stop. I don't remember the last time I saw the sun. How do you like the weather here? Is it similar to the weather in Alaska?" The sudden word vomit that was spewing from my mouth was definitely not my best work, but maybe it would get her talking.

She sighed, putting down the slide she was holding and closing her glorious eyes for a moment. As I sat, waiting for her to speak, I noticed how long and lush her eyelashes were. They brushed against her velvety cheek as she sat there, obviously contemplating her answer.

"Look, Edward. I tried to ignore what the sound of my name coming from her lips was doing to my body. "You seem like a really nice guy, but I don't want to…get involved with anyone," she said, finally turning to look at me.

My breath caught as the full impact of her gaze fell on me. I was locked into her stare. For the first time I looked deep into her eyes, and what I discovered there made my chest ache. I saw deep pain and I couldn't help but wonder what it was that could have caused her to carry around so much pain. How could someone so young harbor so much pain and hurt? I vowed to do everything I could to find out.

When she finally broke eye contact and looked down again, I was able to recover and reorganize my thoughts. I felt heat slowly creeping up my neck as her words sunk in.

"Hey. That's fine. Who's looking to get involved? I'm just asking about the weather," I retorted, defensively. As much as I was concerned about her pain, I was also feeling some pain and embarrassment of my own. Who did this girl think she was, anyway?

I ground my teeth together as the answer to my own question sounded like an alarm in my head. Who's trying to get involved? Me. I was definitely trying to get involved. And I was getting shut down, hard.

I snuck a furtive glance in her direction before picking up the next slide and placing it on the microscope. We both sat in silence for a moment, filling out the lab worksheet.

After a moment I heard a tiny sigh from her again.

"I like the weather here just fine. It's similar to Alaska, except not as cold," she said quietly.

I chanced a glance at her and was taken back when I beheld the small smile she wore. It wasn't an exuberant smile, by any means. She wasn't even showing any teeth, but it made her features impossibly lovelier, nonetheless. I couldn't help myself from grinning back at her. I swore right there, that I would do whatever it took to make Bella Swan smile again. And it would be a real smile, with teeth, the next time. I decided to push my luck a little more. What the hell.

"So, what brought you here to Forks?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could manage.

Bella's smile faded. She furrowed her lovely brow, and narrowed her eyes briefly at me before she began gathering up her books.

"Don't push your luck, Cullen," she said in her tinkling, throaty voice.

"Where are you going?" I asked, "Class isn't even over-" As the words left my lips the bell rang, and Bella was already walking swiftly and gracefully out the door.

I sighed as I began cleaning up my own things and putting Mr. Banner's lab supplies back in the box. Notwithstanding her abrupt departure from class, I felt exhilarated as I thought back on our time together.

I had made progress. Hadn't I?

**A/N: Thanks to** **_robbsweetangel and batgirl8968 _for betaing this chapter! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to the betas at Project Team Beta for cleaning this chapter up for me. I need to learn to put commas in. If you haven't checked out PTB you should. Their link is on my profile page.**

**Also, if you haven't checked out my new blog TwiFic Promotions, a site to help lesser known stories gain recognition, check it out too. Link is up on my profile.**

**Follow me on Twitter KekahJ**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 3

Despite all mine and Esme's initial misgivings, our family was slowly settling into life in the sleepy community of Forks. Carlisle appeared to be finding practicing medicine in a small town as satisfying as he had hoped it would be before we moved here. Esme had found several charity organizations to join and, from the sound of it, would soon be running them. Some things never changed, despite the locale.

I, for my part, was not making much progress as far as Bella was concerned. Biology class was spent pretty much the same way: her avoiding me, only occasionally looking up at me, and speaking only when required by our class work.

Despite the lack of progress, my curiosity regarding Bella had not diminished one bit. In the cafeteria, I would spend the majority of my lunch period trying to pretend that I wasn't staring at her and her siblings across the annoyingly randomly colored tiles of the cafeteria.

Her sister, Jessica, was almost as interesting to watch as Bella. She was cool and aloof, that much was apparent even from across the cafeteria. She never made eye contact with anyone, speaking only to Bella and her brother Michael. She was pretty, but couldn't hold a candle to Bella.

As I watched them, it became obvious that Jasper was right. Jessica and Michael were most definitely closer than siblings. When I ventured to ask Jasper about it one day, he rolled his eyes and explained that the two sisters had come to live with their aunt Renee and her husband Charlie after some sort of accident with their parents. Michael, Charlie's nephew, had been adopted by Charlie and Renee several years prior. Apparently Jessica and Michael had hit it off in their new living situation.

"You're not still hung up on that chick, are you?" he asked, smirking from across our lunch table.

"No. Just...curious, " I lied. "Do you know if Bella's dating anyone?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders. I could already feel my face getting hot as I saw the mischievous glint in Jasper's eye.

Instead of saying anything, he just shook his head and laughed, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "lost cause." I laughed a little and tried to appear casual about the whole thing.

When I looked up again, I stopped dead in my tracks. For the first time ever, Bella was staring at me from across the room. I couldn't read the expression on her face, but if I didn't know better, I would have sworn she had heard me. But that was impossible, she was sitting all the way across the noisy cafeteria. After an intense moment, she finally broke eye contact and resumed her casual bored posture along with her siblings.

For once, I got to biology before her. I smiled as I sat down, but then as I sat there, waiting for her, my smile faded. What if she decided to sit somewhere else? What if, when given the option, she didn't choose to sit with me? In the midst of my panic, Bella arrived. I could never grow tired of watching her move. She moved with such grace it almost seemed like she was floating. Countless times I had watched her retreating form at the end of class, but what I saw today as I sat clutching my chair, trying to formulate a plan to get her to sit next to me, paled in comparison to all her exits.

Bella walking towards me was, if possible, an even more glorious sight. I liked the thought of Bella walking towards me. Her long chocolate hair swung behind her back in a shimmering sheet. Her legs were long, despite her small stature, and her jeans clung to them like a second skin. She seemed to glide across the floor instead of walk upon it like the rest of us. I was struck again with how out of place she seemed here in the dingy biology classroom.

She glanced at me quickly as she sat down, and I'm pretty sure I breathed an audible sigh of relief, because she gave me a funny look as she settled into our table. I smiled as I thought about the table being ours; mine and hers.

"Hello," I said smiling at her.

"Hi," she said quickly as she took out her books.

"How's it going?" I asked, watching as she unpacked her things with graceful hands and slender fingers.

"Fine," she said. Then she surprised me, adding, "How are you?" We had been sitting together for almost a month now. She had never once asked about me.

I swallowed quickly. "I'm good. Thanks for asking." Great. She finally asks me a question, and that's what I come up with. _Nice, Cullen_.

"You're welcome," she said quietly. I glanced up at her and caught her smiling gently at me. It was still a small smile, but it was a smile, nonetheless.

"So, I'm stressing a little about the bio test we have next week. Have you studied? I have, a little, but I feel like I still need to study more," I said. Why was it whenever she gave me an opening, an inch, I lost my internal filter. I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

"Do you want to study together?" My heart sank as the words fell from my mouth. I was an idiot. I already knew what her answer would be.

I couldn't look at her. Suddenly I wanted to be anywhere but in that classroom. I felt hot and claustrophobic, like the room was closing in on me. Stupid biology classroom, stupid high school, stupid small wet, rainy town, stupid move. Stupid.

I sighed and prepared to begin taking notes as Mr. Banner signaled that he was ready to begin his lecture. She didn't even have to answer me; I didn't need to hear it.

"Okay. That sounds nice."

The words didn't register right away. I didn't even register where they came from for a minute. Unwilling to believe what my brain was trying to tell me, I chanced a hesitant glance to my side. I found her warm topaz eyes gazing at me and her mouth was turned up in an amused smirk. I opened my mouth to respond, but she placed one slender finger to her lips, and I was distracted momentarily by the sight, before I realized she was shushing me because Banner had started his lecture.

_Play it cool, Cullen,_ I thought quickly. I grabbed my notebook and quickly tore a sheet out. I had to fight to keep my hand from shaking. _I am turning into a girl,_ I thought as I scribbled out a note.

_When and where?_

I pushed it across the table to her, watching out of the corner of my eye as she read it and then gripped her pencil in her slender hand and penned her response.

_How about tomorrow in the school library, after school…3:30?_

I looked up to find her gazing at me with one eyebrow quirked. I nodded quickly and grinned at her. She rolled her eyes, and I could tell she was suppressing a grin. The rest of the period passed by in a blur. I felt as though I were floating as I walked out to my truck after class.

"What happened to you, Cullen?" Jasper asked, raising his eyebrow suspiciously.

I quickly forced my face into some semblance of a normal expression, although I was having a hard time remembering what that looked or felt like.

I decided quickly not to tell Jasper about my planned study session with Bella. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, it was just that it still didn't seem real. It felt as though if I told anyone about it, it might not happen. As silly as that sounded, I wasn't willing to risk it.

I shrugged and got into my truck.

"See ya later, man," I said to Jasper. He opened his mouth to speak, but then thought better of it.

"Yeah. See ya," he said shaking his head slightly. I could tell from the glint in his eye that he knew I was hiding something, but he obviously decided to let it slide for now.

I hardly ate any of my dinner that night. It felt like there was a huge pit in my stomach that was only getting larger as the hours passed. As I lay in bed that night, trying to sleep, I tried to convince myself that tomorrow was not a big deal, it was just studying with someone in class. But as I tossed and turned, trying to get my brain to shut off, I finally had to admit to myself how big tomorrow actually was. For the first time since I met Bella, she would be consciously deciding to spend time with me, not just sitting next to me in a classroom we were both required to be in.

I didn't sleep well that night. I kept seeing flashes of golden eyes and pale skin, and long chocolate colored hair. I finally drifted off as the first morning light began to peek through my window. I was jarred awake after what felt like only moments later by the blaring of my alarm clock. I groaned and rolled over, not wanting to get up. For a moment I forgot what today was.

When I remembered, I gasped and shot out of bed like a rocket. As I stood, momentarily dazed and confused, in the middle of my room, I felt the familiar pit from the night before return to my stomach. I showered quickly and headed out the door, shouting a goodbye to Esme as I left.

I don't remember what happened in school that day; it went by in a blur. When I arrived in Biology, I was afraid to look over to our table. I was afraid that, for some reason, she wouldn't be there. I was so close to getting to spend some time with Bella, I didn't want anything to take that away.

I took a deep breath and chanced a glimpse at the table. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face when I saw her sitting there. She looked the same as she did every other day: beautiful, perfect.

As I walked over to our table she looked up and met my gaze. I saw her chest rise and fall in a small sigh, and I could have sworn I saw her shake her head almost imperceptibly as she gave me a small smile.

"Are we still on for this afternoon?" _Smooth. Way to play it cool, Cullen. Way to not seem overly anxious. _"I mean, didn't we say something about getting together to study? Is that today?" _Nice cover. Lame._

I could tell by the smirk on her perfect lips that she saw right through my attempt to be nonchalant.

"I believe we did have a date, Mr. Cullen." She nodded at me politely. I thrilled at the words and realized a little too late I was grinning like an idiot. I recovered and cleared my throat.

"I am looking forward to reviewing some of the more challenging material we have covered, Ms. Swan," I said stiffly. Two could play at this game.

She rolled her eyes at me and said, "Pay attention, Cullen. Banner's starting."

I tried to pay attention during Banner's lecture, I really did, but my mind kept wandering in anticipation of spending time alone with Bella. When the bell rang to signal the end of the period I turned to Bella and opened my mouth to say something to her about meeting her later in the library. To my surprise she was already up out of her seat, things put away, bag slung over her shoulder.

"See you in a while, Cullen," she whispered as she breezed past me. Once again, I was left behind in a strawberry vanilla haze.

By three twenty I had walked around campus three times, drank two sodas, and gone to the bathroom once. I was out of things to do to avoid appearing overly anxious by arriving too early.

I sighed and headed to the library. I pushed the door open and scanned the room quickly. It was fairly small. There were a few students sitting at the wooden tables that were scattered amongst the rows of tattered books. The lighting in the room was poor, and was not improved any by the dark churning sky visible through the room's few windows. The librarian gave me a disinterested glance from her post in the center desk before returning to her work.

As my eyes moved across the room, I was surprised to see the girl with the golden eyes and coffee colored hair sitting at a small table in the corner. She was here before me. Is it possible that she had also run out of time wasting activities as well? Is it possible that she was anxious to see me too? I pushed the thought back down quickly as I stepped through the door towards the mystery that was Bella Swan.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I give you the new and improved: Chapter 4**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. You guys are awesome! **

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 4

I sat down quickly and took my notes and biology text book out of my beat up backpack. I felt Bella's eyes on me and was immediately self conscious. Suddenly I wished I had paid a bit more attention to my appearance today. I never did, but sitting with the beautiful creature across the table, I suddenly felt out of place. I looked around the dimly lit library whose shelves were filled with shabby, outdated copies of the typical array of high school books. The carpet beneath the soles of my scuffed up shoes was worn and faded and the table we were sitting at looked older than us.

I finally dragged my eyes to Bella. As I took in her ethereal appearance, I realized that I wasn't the one who was out of place; I fit right in amongst the stacks of dusty books and small town students and teachers, in comparison to the magnificent girl across from me.

"Should we get started, Edward?" I loved the way my name sounded on her lips.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," I answered, nodding my head in agreement.

We reviewed some of the material that we knew would be on the test next week. I was pleased to learn how quick Bella's mind was. At times it seemed like she didn't even need her notes as we studied. The fact that she was intelligent only further piqued my interest in her. After about forty-five minutes of solid studying, I decided to attempt to engage her in a non academic conversation. I yawned and stretched my arms up over my head, leaning back in my chair.

"So, Bella…" I began.

She stopped writing and looked up at me with one eyebrow raised.

"You live with your aunt and uncle right? What do they do?" It wasn't the question I had originally planned to ask, but I chickened out at the last second.

"Charlie is the chief of police in Forks and Reneé is a homemaker," she answered smoothly.

"Chief of police, huh? That must cramp your style a little." _Cramp your style?_ _What_ _is this, nineteen ninety-two?_

She rolled her eyes and shook her head before going back to her writing.

"You seem like you're pretty close with your sister, Jessica," I asked, trying once more to engage her.

Bella smiled as she looked into the distance for a moment before answering. "Jessica is my best friend." I could sense from her response the bond the two sisters shared was strong.

"You two don't seem to have a lot other friends besides your…cousin is it? Michael?" I pressed on. Did I just infer that she was unpopular? Alarm bells started going off in my head, warning me that I was entering dangerous territory. Sure enough Bella narrowed her eyes at me before answering me in a flat voice.

"Not many people understand our…situation, with our parents. It's hard to open ourselves up to strangers. It's just easier to stick together. We are lucky to have each other."

I could tell by her clipped tone that she was irritated with me, so I asked the question I originally meant to ask.

"Why do you always look so frustrated by me? Do I annoy you that much?" I questioned softly.

She didn't answer. After a minute, I thought maybe she would just ignore me, that my window to Bella had closed shut again. Then, when I had almost given up and decided to resume studying, she spoke softly.

"I'm not frustrated with you. I'm frustrated with myself." Her tone was different now, softer again.

Now it was my turn to furrow my eyebrows at her. What could she possibly be frustrated with herself about?

"Explain, please," I requested leaning in closer to her.

She hesitated for a moment, seeming to debate whether to answer me or not. Finally she sighed and looked up.

"I don't seem to be able to--" she paused, seeming to search for the right words. "keep you from being interested in me."

I felt embarrassed. I knew that I hadn't exactly been playing it cool with her, but I suddenly felt like an idiot. I felt the familiar heat creeping slowly up my collar.

"Please, don't misunderstand me, Edward. It's flattering; I'm just not used to it," she said quickly, apparently seeing my expression and obvious embarrassment. I couldn't help what I said next.

"Bella, how can you possibly not be used to receiving attention from guys? You are absolutely gorgeous." Yep, no filter.

She sighed and looked out the window near our table.

"Edward, it's…everything is complicated." She shook her head, frustrated again.

"Bella," I said quietly, my heart beating in my chest, "I am interested in you. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I can't help it. I want to get to know you. If you don't want to get to know me, then that's fine. Say the word, right now, and I'll leave you alone." My chest clenched at the thought, but I pressed on; I had to finish what I had to say. "But I don't think you want me to leave you alone. I think you're scared because for some reason I cannot even begin to fathom, the guys in this school have not paid you the attention I know you deserve. But I want to give you the attention you deserve. Will you let me?"

I held my breath as I watched for some sign from her.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, she nodded. She didn't look up from her paper, or make eye contact, or even smile, but she nodded. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face.

"I have to go," she said softly. My heart thumped. Not yet, I wasn't ready for her to leave yet.

"I just…wait," I stumbled. "Please. I…when can I see you again?" I asked, trying and failing to keep the note of desperation out of my voice. She was leaving, but she had nodded. That nod would have to be enough to sustain me until I could get a little more out of her.

"Tomorrow in class," she said, suppressing a smirk.

"Funny, Swan. What about _outside_ of class." I clung mentally to her nod.

She sighed and put her small delicate fingers to her temples, as if she suddenly had a headache.

"I have to go into Seattle on Saturday. Feel like taking a road trip?" she asked.

I swallowed quickly. It was my turn to nod, suddenly mute.

"Okay, see you tomorrow then," she said as she gathered her things. I watched her go and was finally rewarded with a smile. It was a real smile. Not the timid small things I had been getting since I met her. No, this was a full blown smile, with teeth and everything. It took my breath away, and I sat, staggered as I watched her walk gracefully out of the library.

Saturday. That was two days away. As I sat in the dingy, cramped library of Forks High I wondered how I would make it till Saturday.

**A/N: Thanks to Belle of the Boulevard and My Smile Is My Tears for beta'ing for me. They're from Project Team Beta, and they ROCK!!**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 5

Friday dragged by. Even Jasper and Emmett's lunchtime antics weren't enough to make the time pass quicker. I wanted to scream as I watched the clock. At one point, I was almost positive I had seen the second hand tick backwards. Frustrated, I ground my teeth together, suppressed a groan, and walked outside for some fresh air.

Finally biology arrived. Bella and I spent the time passing notes back and forth, finalizing our plans for the next day. She seemed relaxed and even a little excited about our trip together. I had made plans to borrow Carlisle's Mercedes for the trip. I loved my old truck, but somehow I didn't think it was appropriate for a road trip to Seattle. Besides, I just couldn't picture beautiful Bella sitting in the truck's dirty, musty cab.

We agreed that I would pick Bella up in the morning. She gave me directions and, with a quick smile, she was out the door of the classroom as the bell rang. Now all I had to do was figure out how to occupy my time for the next sixteen hours.

At home, I sat at the dining table and pretended to do homework while Esme hovered around and tried to garner more information about why I needed Carlisle's car tomorrow. I had decided not to tell anyone about Bella yet. It was too soon, and given how wary she already was, I didn't need any outside influences to ruin what was already, at best, a delicate balance.

Instead, I shrugged and told Esme I wanted to take a trip to Seattle and get some things for school I couldn't get here. Technically, I wasn't lying to her. I was going to Seattle and I probably would be doing some shopping. I was just omitting the fact that I wouldn't be alone.

As I was congratulating myself on my cleverness my mom said, "That's nice, dear. Are you going with anyone?" Apparently I wasn't as smooth as I thought.

_Damn._ I hated deceiving my parents, but at this point I didn't feel as if I had a choice. I was determined not to let anything ruin my trip with Bella. I took a deep breath and swore to myself I would make it up to them later.

"Um…no, just me."

_Please don't ask anything else. _I silently begged.

To my relief, and slight surprise, Esme seemed satisfied and let the matter drop. When Carlisle returned home that evening he, thankfully, was not nearly as inquisitive as she had been, and let the matter rest with a simple, "Have fun, but don't scratch my car."

When it was finally late enough to be an acceptable time to go to bed, I headed up the big staircase to my room. I knew I wouldn't sleep, but I desperately wanted to be alone. As I lay in the silent darkness of my room, running my hands over the faded corduroy quilt, my phone rang. It was Jasper.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked, yawning in the middle of his question.

_Crap._

"Ummm. I'm going to head to Seattle," I said, hoping he wouldn't make too much of it. I was still new around here, and I wasn't sure how much of a big deal going to Seattle was for Forks residents.

"Sweet, I need to pick up a few things. Mind if I tag along?" he asked.

_Crap._

"Um, actually I'm sort of tagging along with someone else, so…I don't think that would be a good idea."

_Let it go, Jasper. Let it go._

"Dude, who do you know besides me, Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie?" he laughed. His tone and his assumption that he and his group were my only friends irritated me a little. So far it was pretty much true, but still, he didn't need to be a jerk about it. Plus, I was working to change that, hence the trip tomorrow. Not that I was going to explain any of those things to him.

"I know plenty of people. Don't worry about it." I felt a little guilty for my tone, so I added, "Did you want me to pick anything up for you?"

"Nah. Don't worry about it, man. Have fun with your _mystery friend_. Whoooo," he teased, still laughing as we hung up a moment later.

I sighed and scrubbed my face with my hands as I lay on my bed. So far I had lied to my parents and to my only friend in Forks for this girl. Was she even worth all this trouble? As soon as the thought occurred to me, I knew, without a doubt, that she was. There was something about Bella that drew me in. I had to have more. If a few white lies and a little secrecy is what it took, I knew immediately that I would do it. As I lay there, the thought occurred to me that I would probably do much more than that for her. I shook my head at the slightly possessive tone my thoughts were taking on.

I lay there for a long time thinking about Bella before finally glancing at my clock and climbing under the sheets. Once again, I dreamt of topaz and pale white flashes.

In the morning, I stood in the shower for a long time, trying to get the hot spray to relax my tense muscles. I had to take deep breaths and remind myself that this is what I wanted: time alone with Bella. I knew I was just nervous. We would finally be outside of school and all alone in my car for hours.

I dressed quickly, throwing on a pair of faded jeans with a green shirt and my favorite pair of beat up shoes. I grabbed a toaster pastry from Esme on the way out, and carefully backed Carlisle's black Mercedes down the long driveway.

Bella's house was further than I thought. I had studied the neatly drawn map she had made for me the day before, but I still nearly missed the turn off to her driveway.

At the end of a long dirt road lay her house. It was spacious and modern. The lush green forest encroached on all sides of the large house.

_Not bad for the chief of police of a tiny town,_ I thought.

I was surprised to find her sitting on the huge cement steps that led to the glass front door. I checked the clock; I was even ten minutes early. The thought that she might be as anxious as I was made me smile. As I pulled up the circular drive, she got up and walked quickly to my car.

"Hi," she said warmly as she turned to look at me. She was wearing fitted jeans that hugged her curves and a long white sweater. The light shade of the sweater made her creamy skin glow and appear almost peachy instead of pale. Her hair was pulled back in a low pony tail and I could see the gentle curve of her delicate neck.

"Hello. Ready?" I grinned back at her.

She nodded and we pulled out back on to the main road.

The drive was not nearly as awkward as I had feared. I peppered her with questions about herself, taking care to avoid questions related to her distant past and her parents. I stuck to questions about school, her likes and dislikes. I was surprised and pleased to learn that we had similar taste in music. Like me, she had an eclectic taste and seemed to know a little about many different kinds of music and bands. As long as I shied away from anything too personal, she answered my questions easily.

"So, where are we going?" I asked as we pulled into the city limits of Seattle.

"Um, there's this bookstore I need to visit, if you don't mind."

"Sounds good. Lead the way," I smiled and Bella directed me where to go.

Once we arrived at the bookstore, I was surprised by her interest in books. She loved the classics and had read an impressive number of them. Most girls our age were only concerned with fashion magazines or teen romances, only exposing themselves to truly great literature when it appeared on their required reading lists for school.

We spent a few hours wandering through the shelves of books. She would pick ones at random and ask if I was familiar with them. If I was, we would discuss them; if not, I would make a mental note to read them. After a while I glanced at my watch and was shocked to see how late it was.

"Oh. Look at the time! You must be starving," I said.

She gave me an odd little smile and nodded.

"Where should we go?" I asked. "You probably know what's around here better than me."

"Um, I'm really not that hungry. We can go wherever you want," she said quickly.

"Okay, well, I saw what looked like a nice little Greek place on the way over here. How does that sound?" I smiled at her.

She nodded without looking at me. We headed out to the car and I navigated my way over to the restaurant. The waitress brought us menus and water. We perused the menus quietly for a few moments, and when the waitress returned I motioned for Bella to order first.

"Oh, I told you, I'm not hungry. You go ahead though, really," she said quickly.

I raised my eyebrows at her. _Crap_. _Is she one of those girls who is afraid to eat in front of guys because they are afraid they will be thought of as fat? Does she have an eating disorder?_

She was slender, but certainly curvy enough that she didn't look like she missed an unhealthy amount of meals. I pursed my lips and continued to stare at her for a moment, before I decided to let it drop. I ordered a gyro and some fries and the waitress gathered our menus and left.

"So, what's with the no eating thing?" I asked her once we were alone.

She looked up at me with narrowed eyes. "Nothing is with 'the no eating thing'. I'm just not hungry," she replied crisply.

I raised my hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay. Just asking."

I let the matter drop, for the time being. My gyro and fries arrived and I ate quickly. It was really good and very filling. I asked Bella if she wanted to try any. She, not surprisingly, declined. I rolled my eyes at her and told her she didn't know what she was missing. I felt like a little bit of a tool, wolfing my food down in front of her while she fiddled with her napkin and stared off into space, but I was really hungry, and I had offered, several times. After I was done eating, I rolled my napkin in a ball and tossed it onto my plate.

"So what's next?" I asked her as I rubbed my now full stomach. Her eyes flitted to my hand that was absently rubbing my stomach. It was a quick look, but I still caught her. I grinned and couldn't resist giving her a hard time.

"Are you checking me out, Swan?" I teased. Her eyes darted quickly up to my face and widened.

"I…what? No. I mean. What? Maybe. No…a little," she stammered. I couldn't help laughing at the flustered expression on her face. She glared at me as I continued to laugh. Suddenly she pushed her chair back and rose fluidly from the table.

"Where are you going?" I called after her as she stalked towards the door. "I have the keys!" I called. I got up from the table still chuckling and feeling honestly quite pleased; both by the fact that she had obviously been checking me out, and that I had caused her to become so flustered.

I found her leaning against the car with her arms folded across her chest. She glared at me as I approached her. I stepped in front of her. She stopped glaring at me and looked down at her feet instead.

"Bella…" I said slowly. I was standing very close to her. We were not touching, but I could smell her fantastic scent swirling in the air around us. It made me a little dizzy as I stared into her perfect face. Slowly she looked up into my eyes. She was still glaring. "If it makes you feel any better, I check you out all the time."

She kept her furious expression a moment longer before finally letting her features melt into a shy smile. My breath hitched as her shy smile grew into a glorious one. I was momentarily stunned as I gazed at her. I stared at her full lips and wanted nothing more in that moment than to feel them against mine.

She must have seen something in my expression, because after a moment her eyes clouded slightly and her smile faded. She quickly said, "We should go. It's…getting late."

With her trademark agility and grace, she managed to slip around me without ever touching me. I closed my eyes and let out a frustrated sigh, low enough that she couldn't hear it. I ran a hand through my hair and turned to open the door.

The drive back to Forks was much quieter than the drive to Seattle had been. Bella sat quietly in her seat and watched the sun slowly setting over the forest.

I was sorry that our day together was going to end on such an awkward note. I frantically searched my brain to think of a way to salvage it. I wasn't even sure what had gone wrong, it had happened so fast. Had she seen in the way I looked at her my desire to kiss her? Was the feeling not mutual? I didn't want to think about what that would mean.

As we neared the turnoff to her house, she took a deep breath and spoke. "Edward, I had a really nice time with you today."

I smiled over at her and nodded in agreement. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad after all. My smile faded with her next words.

"But I don't think I can do this," she finished hastily.

I looked over her with a puzzled expression.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"This," she said, gesturing back and forth between us with her hands.

"Bella, we've been over this. Why do you keep fighting this?" I asked as I pulled up her driveway.

"I can't…it's just too difficult. I'm sorry, Edward. I know I keep giving you mixed signals, and there's no excuse for that. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Thank you for the lovely day," she said, her words rushed, and just like that she was out of the car and hopping up the steps of her house.

I clenched my jaw in frustration, slamming my fist on the steering wheel. She didn't even give me a chance to respond. How could this be so complicated? What was it that was too difficult?

As I drove away from Bella Swan's house, I vowed that I would not give up on this girl. For whatever reason, she was pushing me away, but I knew, without a doubt, that we had something. I just needed to show that to Bella.

**A/N: Thanks for all of the fabulous reviews. I'm so pleased!**

**Also, thanks to My Smile is My Tears and Belle of the Boulevard for beta'ing this chapter. They are awesome!  
**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 6

I spent Sunday attempting to do homework and keep my mind off Bella. I failed miserably. My thoughts were constantly dragged back to her. What had she meant when she said it would be too difficult? What could be difficult about two people getting to know each other better? I tried to distract myself by cleaning my room, but I didn't get very far. There were still piles of things scattered throughout the small room. Finally, I gave up and decided to take a walk through the forest that bordered our house. Recognizing that I was a city boy and had the potential to get really lost, I stuck to the edge closest to the house.

As I made my way over fallen logs and through the sodden, mossy forest, I began to feel a renewed sense of hope about the whole situation with Bella. I reasoned that she just needed a little time. I felt sure about the connection between us, and if she needed some time or space then that's what I would give her. I decided that I would speak to her tomorrow and rationalize with her. We could be friends, for now. Besides, I was probably overreacting about the whole situation. As I carefully made my way back to my house, I was confident that things would be back to normal between the two of us tomorrow.

On Monday in Biology, Bella ignored me completely. My heart sank when I walked into class and she didn't look up from her book to give me the small smile that I had grown accustomed to. She kept her curtain of hair between us the entire time. _So much for everything returning to normal, _I thought dismally.

Frustrated, I ripped a piece of paper from my notebook. _WHY? _I scribbled hastily and pushed it over to her.

She stared at the paper for a moment, and then just pushed it back towards me, shaking her head. I ground my teeth in frustration.

I was not in the least surprised when, at the end of the period, I glanced up and saw her small form retreating through the door as the bell was still ringing.

I tried to put my finger on why this bothered me so much. I didn't really know her at all. We had only spent a few hours together outside of class. We had barely even touched. Even when we were working together on a lab she always seemed to take great care to avoid any contact with me.

I couldn't figure out what it was about her, but I knew that there was something more there. I could feel it. I was supposed to know her. She was supposed to be in my life.

At home, I retreated to my room early, telling Esme and Carlisle that I had a lot of homework to tackle. Once there, I didn't even bother to take out my homework. I just sat at my desk and stared out the window, her beautiful face repeatedly playing through my thoughts.

After about an hour I sighed, getting up and heading to bed fully clothed, too dejected to even undress. Despite the worry that plagued my mind, I drifted off to sleep fairly quickly.

I awoke with a start a little while later. I sat straight up in my bed and tried to calm my rapid breathing. I had dreamt of her. We had been walking through a forest together, hand in hand. I flexed the fingers of my right hand. It was tingling like it could still feel her touch. I ran my fingers across my lips. In my dream she had kissed me, her sweet scent enveloping me as she locked her golden eyes on mine and leaned in to press her glorious lips to mine.

My heart ached in the reality of her absence. My bed was cold, I was alone, and Bella didn't want me in real life like she wanted me in my dream.

"No," I said out loud to my empty room.

Before my brain could even register what I was doing, I was out of bed throwing my jacket on haphazardly. I opened the door to my bedroom quietly, peering down the hallway towards my parents' room. I glanced back at the clock by my bed. It was late. They would both be asleep. I crept down the stairs and paused at the basket of keys in the entryway.

I quickly ruled my truck out as an option. The monster of an engine would wake up half the block, including Carlisle and Esme.

I pushed aside the feeling of guilt that surged when I grabbed the keys to Carlisle's Mercedes.

_I'll be back before he even notices it's gone. And I'll put gas in it, _I reasoned with myself.

It wasn't until I was strapped into the sleek Mercedes and speeding down the wet roads through the town of Forks that I let myself think about what I was doing.

_So now you're a stalker huh, Cullen? _I thought bitterly to myself.

_I am not a stalker. This is different. Bella needs me in her life, she just doesn't know it,_ I rationalized with myself.

_Yeah, this is different. That's what most stalkers say._

The crazy internal monologue was making me feel insane and wasn't helping my confidence. I momentarily pushed my thoughts aside and concentrated on finding the turn off to Bella's house.

I pulled the quiet yet powerful car up Bella's drive, noting with a thrill of pleasure that the lights were still blazing through most of the house's many windows. Apparently the members of the Swan family were night owls.

I jogged quickly up the steps and knocked politely on the door. I heard no movement from inside, but a glance at all the cars in the driveway told me that someone had to be home. I waited longer.

_No one's home. Now go back to your home, _my internal chatter surfaced again.

_Maybe they're around the back, _I thought as I stepped down from the huge porch and made my way to the back. The moon was full and shining down through a rare nearly cloudless sky. I could see relatively well despite the darkness of the late hour.

When I rounded the corner of the house, I could hear a small brook bubbling nearby. As I looked around I realized how beautiful the Swan property was. Even in the velvety darkness it was striking. There were still no sounds of life from the house, so I decided to investigate the grounds a little more. I followed the sound of the brook and was pleased to find a little foot bridge spanning it.

I crossed it quickly and felt compelled to keep walking down the little path that was so brightly illuminated by the moon. After I had walked for about a minute, I came to a small clearing. I looked across it and was surprised to see Bella, Jessica, and Michael on the other side.

The moon was bright enough that I could see them fairly clearly. Bella's hair shimmered in the silver moonlight. I stood watching the three of them for a moment, mesmerized as I always was when I was in her presence.

Jessica and Michael were pacing around and looking off into the distance. For the briefest moment, I could have sworn that Jessica glanced in my direction, but it happened so quickly that I figured I must have imagined it.

Bella was looking up into the branches of a large tree as she circled around it. I noticed how quietly she moved. She had to have been moving through dead crunchy underbrush, but there was absolutely no sound coming from her.

_What is she doing?_ I thought. She had an intense look on her face, and seemed to be concentrating very hard on the tree. _What's up there?_ I wondered. I decided it was probably time to call attention to myself so that I wouldn't startle Bella and her siblings.

_Great, how are you going to explain wandering around her backyard in the middle of the night without sounding like a crazy stalker?_ I thought. I opened my mouth to call out to them, but what I saw next rendered me incapable of speech.

Bella stopped circling the massive tree and suddenly crouched down and sprang up into the tree's boughs with inhuman speed and agility. My eyes widened as I watched her scale the tree, leaping and swinging from branch to branch to get higher and higher. The entire time she moved soundlessly and almost too fast for my eyes to follow. In a flash she was out of sight, high up in the massive branches of the ancient tree. I heard something scream and screech. The branches of the tree shook and leaves fell to the forest floor. Suddenly, something huge and furry fell to the ground with a thud that seemed to vibrate through the clearing. As I looked on in complete disbelief, I realized that it was an animal and Bella appeared to be wrestling with it. Its cries were wild and it was clearly angry. I realized with utter amazement that it was an enormous mountain lion.

Somehow, Bella was on top of the lion and grabbed it around the neck. It cried in defiance and surprise and tried to defend itself. But the mountain lion, impossibly, seemed to be no match for Bella. Almost too fast for my eyes to see, she reached up and twisted it's powerful head. I could hear the cracking from across the field as its neck snapped. Its cries ceased immediately.

What I saw next made all of the unbelievable things I had already seen in the last minute pale in comparison. Bella gracefully scaled the beast's body. For one brief moment I saw her perfect teeth glint in the moonlight as she parted her lips, baring her teeth before latching on to the creature's throat. Even from across the field I could hear the contented moan that came from deep within her throat as she drained the animal. I blinked several times trying to make sense of what I was seeing. There had to be some mistake. My brain refused to process the images my eyes were sending it.

I became aware of my own labored breathing as my chest constricted painfully. I suddenly felt lightheaded. Bella's head snapped up in surprise in my direction. I felt a thrill of fear run up my spine as a low growl rumbled in her chest as she locked eyes with me.

**A/N: Thanks to My Smile is My Tears and Belle of the Boulevard for their superb betaing skills. This chapter is now much cleaner and better now. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, a lot of people were wondering about how Edward snuck up on Bella and the gang. This chapter should answer that question for you. Thanks for all the reviews. :)**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 7

"Dammit, Jessica." I heard her hiss as she disentangled herself from the huge carcass that lay in a heap at her feet. She wiped her mouth and began walking slowly towards me. Somewhere in my peripheral vision I was aware that Jessica and Michael were now moving towards me too. Jessica had an odd smile on her face, and I felt a shiver run down my spine as she and Michael walked towards me. Bella paused and turned back to them.

"Stop. Stay back. Let me handle this. You've done enough, Jessica, no more." Her voice was ice as she spoke to her sister.

She turned back towards me and held her hands up in front of her, as if in surrender.

"Edward, I'm not going to hurt you, okay? Can I come over there?" she asked tentatively. I felt myself nod, and she continued towards me.

When she got closer, I could see her better in the pale moonlight. That was when I knew I must have lost my mind, because all I could think about was how radiant she looked. Her hair was tangled and had leaves in it. Her topaz eyes looked bright, even in the moonlight, and she looked wild and feral and beautiful. Like I said, that's how I knew I was officially insane, because I had just seen her take down, and drink the blood of, a full sized mountain lion with her bare hands, and all I could think of is how stunning she looked.

When she reached me she said, "Edward, I'm not going to touch you, but I think we should go inside and talk. Is that okay?" She was speaking to me as though I was a small, easily frightened child, and right then I felt like one.

Again I nodded, still not trusting myself to speak. We turned and walked back down the path I had taken and across the footbridge. When we reached the back porch, she leapt up lightly and held the door open for me. I looked at her briefly as I stepped through the doorway before her. Her face was grave, and she met my eyes for only the briefest second before she dropped them to the floor.

I couldn't help but notice that the inside of Bella's house was beautiful. It was as modern and spacious on the inside as it was on the out. The furnishings were warm wood tones and the décor was all contemporary neutrals accented with bright colors. I think I was focusing on my surroundings so that I wouldn't have to think about the meaning behind the events that I had just witnessed.

As we rounded the corner to the dining room, we were met by a man and woman with looks of shock and concern on their faces. The woman was petite with short brown hair and the man had a thick moustache. Although they did not resemble Bella physically, they shared the same pale skin, topaz eyes, and beautiful features that seemed to be a Swan family trait, no matter what their relation. Bella met their eyes, and spoke low, quick words to them that I either couldn't hear, or was not able to process, given my current mental state. After only a moment the three of them turned their attention to me.

"Edward, this is my aunt Renee and my uncle Charlie." Bella said gesturing to the pale, beautiful couple who were eyeing me warily. I nodded at them, but still didn't try to speak. Bella turned back to her aunt and uncle.

"Edward and I are going to talk in the living room. Will you give us some privacy?"

Renee and Charlie nodded and I noticed them looking at me suspiciously as they departed. I followed Bella to one of the large couches in the front room and took a moment to look around the room. The living room was located in the front corner of the house and there were huge windows on two of the walls that reflected the room back at me instead of revealing anything about the inky black night outside. I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch.

"How are you feeling?" Bella asked me with a concerned look. She had folded herself up on the sofa and was sitting facing me, but as far away as she could get while still being on the same couch.

I thought about her question for a moment. How did I feel? What I had seen was shocking. I still didn't understand what exactly it meant, but overall, I felt calm. Maybe I was in shock. I knew that happened sometimes when people witnessed tragic or shocking events. What I had witnessed in the meadow was definitely a shocking event. I was surprised by the feelings that hit me as the memory of Bella and the mountain lion replayed in my mind. I was shocked, yes. But as I looked up at Bella sitting here with me now, I didn't feel repulsed or scared in any way. She was still Bella; an incredible, inhuman Bella, but still Bella nonetheless.

"I feel okay," I said, finally speaking. Bella's brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, and then she quirked one eyebrow at me in disbelief.

"I think you're in shock," she stated simply.

"Yeah, no. I thought about that. Maybe I am. I don't know. But I feel fine, really," I said, stretching on the couch. "But I do have some questions I would like answered."

She furrowed her brow again and gave me a serious look before rolling her eyes.

"Fine. I guess I don't have anything to lose at this point, do I?"

"And you'll be honest?" I asked her.

"You haven't really given me much of a choice, have you?" she answered gravely.

I grinned at her. She took in my smile and my relaxed posture and shook her head. "You are definitely in shock."

"Whatever. Later. Questions first," I demanded, sitting up straighter and turning towards her. I could feel the tension crackle in the air. She was going to answer my questions. She was going to be honest with me. I could sense her walls coming down as we sat there. She took a deep breath and looked as though she were trying to prepare herself before finally meeting my eyes.

"So…" Suddenly I wasn't sure where to begin. "What…are you?" What the hell. Go big or go home.

She narrowed her eyes at me before looking away and sighing. "You haven't figured that out yet?" she asked quietly. "You remember what you saw out in the meadow, right?"

"Yes, but I want to hear you say it. I'm in shock, remember."

She didn't look at me as she responded. "Vampire." Even though I had been expecting the word, it still made my breath catch and my heart beat faster. Almost as if she heard it, she closed her eyes. Suddenly, I wondered if she could hear my heart. The pained expression on her face was enough to bring my thoughts back into focus. I realized I had to lighten the mood a little, or she may not continue sharing information with me.

"Okaaaayyy…" I said slowly and looked around, "So where's the coffins and crap like that?"

She smiled in spite of herself, and looked up at me. Her smile faded after a moment.

"I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to tell you what you want to know, I am. But if any of this gets to be too much for you, which I'm sure it will, please let me know."

"Deal," I nodded. I paused and considered for a moment before asking my next question. "So, in the meadow, you were…hunting?" I asked slowly.

She nodded.

"What's with the mountain lion? I've never heard of that being part of the traditional diet for vampires." My stomach clenched a little as I said the word and thought of what was traditional vampire fare.

"Well, first of all, you shouldn't believe what you've heard about vampires. Most of that stuff is just myths or invented by Hollywood. And second, I'm not a typical vampire. My family and I, we don't…drink human blood." She paused and looked up at me, her eyes apologetic. I felt immediately relieved and smiled reassuringly at her, urging her silently to continue.

"We only drink animal blood. It isn't ideal, but we get by. Jessica, Mike and I were hunting tonight when you…snuck up on us." I noticed her eyes flash in annoyance as she said the words.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sneak up on you-" I said quickly. But before I could finish she was shaking her head.

"Edward, it's not your fault. You shouldn't have been able to sneak up on us. We're vampires. We have extra sensory abilities." So she could hear my heart. "Some of us even have…extra…abilities; which is why you were able to sneak up on me."

I furrowed my brow at her.

"Explain, please," I asked, still confused. She sighed before continuing.

"When vampires are…born…" she glanced up at me and I could sense her editing but I let it slide for now, figuring this was difficult enough for her as it was. "Some of them develop extra abilities. Jessica, my sister, has the ability to alter people's senses, letting them hear or see what she wants. Or on the other hand, she can keep them from hearing or seeing what she doesn't want them to see. That's why Michael and I didn't hear you coming into the clearing. She hid you from us."

"Why would she do that?" I was still confused. Bella looked up at me and rolled her eyes. I wasn't sure if vampires could blush, but it seemed like Bella should be, given the expression on her face.

"Jessica likes you. She thinks you're…good for me. She thinks I'm stupid for pushing you away. She wanted you to see what you saw tonight because she knew it would force me to reveal my secrets to you. She's an idiot."

"I like your sister. She's smart," I smirked at her.

Bella laughed and rolled her eyes again. "Let's be honest, Cullen, once the shock that's keeping you in this weird calm wears off you are going to run from here screaming."  
I shook my head at her. "Nope. I don't scare easily. It's not going to be that simple to get rid of me. Sorry to disappoint you." As I said the words I was struck by the truth of them. Despite all that had transpired, I didn't want to be anywhere else but here beside her.

"You don't mean that," she said quietly. I sighed and decided to change the subject, sort of.

"So, do you have a special ability, Bella?" I asked softly. I couldn't imagine her having anything that would make her even more amazing, but I was quickly learning not to have any expectations where Bella was concerned.

She nodded and looked up at me. "I'm a shield." She must have seen my confused expression, because she didn't wait for me to ask before continuing, "It's kind of hard to explain, but I have a mental shield that can keep people away. It's useful to protect myself and family. It keeps people from getting too close or asking too many questions."

"So is that why you've been fighting against me so hard?" I asked softly.

She laughed mirthlessly and shook her head. "It doesn't work against you, Edward," she said softly, not looking at me. "I've been trying to repel you since the first day you walked into Biology. No one has ever sat next to me. They get within a few feet of the table and change their mind, forget what they were doing, and go sit somewhere else. But it didn't work with you. You just sauntered right up and sat down, like you belonged there."

I thought back to that first day.

"That's why you looked so frustrated and confused!" I realized triumphantly.

"Yes. I've never met anyone that I couldn't protect myself from with my shield. Not until I met you." She looked up at me through her long, thick dark lashes and my heart clenched again.

"Why?" I asked. Bella shrugged.

"I have no idea. Nothing that I tried worked. Once I realized that you had somehow permeated my shield, I felt helpless. You kept trying to talk to me, and I didn't know what to do. And on top of that you actually turned out to be charming. Each day I found myself wanting to talk to you more and more, and I didn't know how to handle it. Because of my shield I've never had to interact with a human before outside of the terms and limits I set."

"That's why Jasper has never really noticed you," I mused, thinking out loud. Bella looked at me in confusion. I quickly explained, "I asked my friend Jasper about you, and he said he'd never really noticed you, and I thought that was impossible because you're…well, you're amazing, but now I realize that you were…shielding him, and the rest of the population of Forks, probably, and that's why he never noticed you!" I finished in a rush. She shrugged.

"I guess. I always use my shield at school. It keeps people from noticing things about us that are…weird. Well, everyone except you, apparently," she finished pursing her lips. She paused for a moment before asking me a question. "What were you doing out here, anyway?"

Suddenly, I felt embarrassed and unsure. As I sat there, I thought about all of the things that Bella had revealed to me tonight. It was only fair that I reveal something to her.

"I was frustrated with you for shutting me out in class today. I was at home and…I couldn't stop thinking about you." I left out the part about the dream. I didn't need to reveal too many of my crazy stalker tendencies yet. I took a deep breath before continuing, "So I decided to come out here and try to talk to you about…our situation."

"You shouldn't have been able to even find the house," Bella trailed off quietly.

"Your shield protects the whole house?" I exclaimed.

"Yes. It can."

I shook my head at the thought of it. Suddenly I felt exhausted. The events of the past hour or so seemed to have caught up with me and were now pushing my eyelids closed, leaving me to fight to keep them open. There was still so much I wanted to ask her. I suppressed a yawn, but Bella noticed anyway.

"You better get home, Edward. It's late. You must be exhausted. Plus I'm pretty sure your father will want his car back soon," Bella said, looking out the window. I followed her gaze and noticed that the inky black sky looked slightly lighter than it had when I had arrived a few hours ago. I thought of all that had transpired.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. You?" I smiled sheepishly.

Bella looked down and took a deep breath.

"What?" I asked, confused by her response.

"I don't sleep."

I had to consciously work to close my jaw. I swallowed thickly. "Hmm," I said, "Ever?"

"Nope," Bella responded, letting the 'p' pop at the end.

"Man. No wonder you don't need help studying for Biology. You have all night to stay up and get ahead. That's not really very fair."

She looked at me in surprise for a moment before a slow smile spread over her beautiful face. As she walked me to the front door I suddenly thought of something. I turned to look at her, bending slightly so I could meet her gaze.

"You will really be there tomorrow?" I asked, not even attempting to keep the fear and desperation out of my voice.

Bella sighed. "Yes. I will be there. But Edward, you can't tell anyone about what you have learned tonight. If our secret is exposed, my family and I will have to leave."

I felt my stomach clench at the thought that she might pick up and leave in the middle of the night because of what I knew. I started shaking my head before she even finished speaking. "You don't have to worry. I won't say anything. I promise. Just please...don't leave..." I trailed off.

"Good night, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Get some sleep."

I drove through the silent, deserted town towards home carefully. I replayed the last few hours in my mind several times during the trip. Now that I was away from the Swan house, the events of the past few hours seemed surreal. I wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring but I was sure of one thing: in spite of everything, even if Bella Swan was a vampire, I had to have her in my life.

**A/N: Thanks to My Smile Is My Tears and Cullenite21, both from Project Team Beta, for beta'ing this chapter. I hear that my comma usage is improving, so maybe there's hope for me after all!**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 8

Entirely too early the next morning, I became aware of an annoying buzzing sound somewhere in the vicinity of my right ear. Feeling as though I were trying to drag myself up through layers of thick, dark mud, I stretched and groaned. As I neared the surface and attempted to clear the mental cobwebs from my head, brief flashes of surreal scenes began to play behind my eyes.

When I broke through the surface of consciousness, all of the pieces came together with startling clarity. I remembered seeing Bella and the mountain lion, and I remembered all of the secrets Bella had revealed to me after that.

I felt my chest tighten and my muscles constrict as panic settled over me. I took a deep breath and tried to focus my thoughts.

It was crazy. Bella was a vampire. But she wasn't a typical vampire, she didn't hurt people. All of the things I had learned about Bella last night flashed through my head, and I began to remember all of the things that attracted me to her before I knew her secrets. None of those things had changed. I thought of the way her face lit up when she laughed, the way her eyes sparked with mischief when she tried not to smile at something I said or did. I thought of the way my heart sped up when I saw her. I thought of the way I didn't seem to be able to think of anything or anyone besides her. I thought about how, when I wasn't with her, I longed for her to be near again.

I made my way to the shower, wondering what I would say to Bella when I saw her today. Would things change between us? I knew her secret and it was exhilarating. I also thought about the fact that Bella couldn't shield me. I would be lying if I said that I didn't like that fact very much.

When I got downstairs, I was surprised to find the house empty. My dad was already at the hospital, and I found a note from my mom letting me know that she was at a charity meeting and my breakfast was warming in the oven. I rolled my eyes as I read her note; I loved Esme, but sometimes she went a little overboard. Normal teenage boys don't need a hot breakfast every morning. My slight annoyance with my mother's overbearing nature didn't stop me from enjoying her home cooked meal though.

I was digging into warm waffles with syrup and strawberries when I was surprised by a knock at the door. Figuring it was Jasper, I wrenched the door open and ran a hand through my hair before looking up. I stopped dead when I was met with slender, denim clad legs, high heeled boots, and waist length brown hair. I swallowed thickly as my eyes traveled up the length of her body and stopped at her liquid golden irises.

"Hi," she said with a shy smile, kicking the wood slats of my porch with her boot. I grinned crookedly at her. I blinked once and for a millisecond, I was afraid that when I opened my eyes again, she wouldn't really be there. But she was.

"I thought maybe you'd want to ride together," she said, looking up at me through her thick lashes.

"Absolutely. Sure," I answered, a little too quickly. Luckily, she decided not to call me out on my over eagerness. Maybe she was getting used to it by now. Instead, she smiled as she stepped past me into the house when I motioned her in and stepped aside. As she passed, I inhaled her incredible scent, and it did strange things to my body. I closed my eyes for a moment to steady myself.

Bella glanced back at me and must have noticed my staggered expression because her eyes clouded over and she looked troubled. I was embarrassed by my reaction to her.

"Sorry. I-" we both began at the same time. I furrowed my brow in confusion at her.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked.

"I…it's my fault. I didn't mean to get so close. I'll be more careful," she said quietly, ducking her head.

"What? No, it's fine. I…" I cleared my throat sheepishly, "…I like being…close to you. It's just...embarrassing the way it...affects me sometimes," I stumbled awkwardly.

"You do? But…you're not…afraid…now that you know…?" she asked, finally looking up at me.

"Afraid?" I was confused for a moment. "No! Not at all; I could never be afraid of you, Bella. You fascinate me, you mesmerize me. I only want to…get closer to you." Again with the no filter thing, apparently.

"You do remember last night right? You didn't hit you head and develop amnesia or something on your way home or anything did you?" Bella asked, the same sparkle I loved returning to her eyes.

"Hmmm. Maybe…it's a little hazy. I remember something about you having insomnia and wrestling with a kitten…does that sound familiar…?" I asked, pretending to rub my forehead in confusion.

Bella reached out and smacked my arm, hard. _Ouch. Crap. Really?_ Okay, that was going to be a little embarrassing, the whole my girlfriend is stronger than me thing. _Girlfriend, Cullen? Overeager much? Take it down a notch, buddy. _ I fought the urge to reach up and rub my arm.

"Come on. We're going to be late," I said instead, pushing her out the door by placing my hand on the small of her back. Even though we were only touching through fabric, I was still elated by the contact. When we got to the driveway, I was surprised to see it was empty aside from my ancient truck.

"Where's your car?" I asked turning to Bella. There was no way I was going to let her drive, but I had anticipated having to work to convince her that I should drive.

"I figured you'd want to drive, and I didn't want your parents to wonder about the mystery car in your driveway all day."

I had to hand it to her. The girl had thought it through.

"So how did you get here? Did Jessica drop you off?" I asked, heading over to my truck and opening the door for her.

"No," she answered simply. I watched her suspiciously as she climbed into the passenger seat and thrilled at the sight of her in my truck. Of course, she made the interior look even shabbier next to her flawless form, but I refused to let the sight of her sitting in my vehicle distract me from the fact that she was obviously hiding something. I raised my eyebrow at her before closing her door. When I made my way over to the driver's side, I climbed in and turned to look at her. I wasn't going to start the truck until she told me what I wanted to know. She turned and faced me, her lips pursed. She was just as stubborn as me, I loved it.

"Did you…walk?" I mused sarcastically. As the words left my lips, I realized that it was probably a possibility. But she shook her head, a shy smile forming on her lips.

"I ran."

I nodded, trying to play it cool.

"That seems like a long way," I said, nodding at her and pursing my lips. My head was spinning as I pictured her running through the forest. I thought back to how far it was from my house to hers. It was no small distance. "You don't even seem...sweaty or anything."

Bella rolled her eyes. That was becoming her trademark response it seemed.

"Vampires don't sweat, silly Edward."

I started up my truck and smiled sheepishly at her, a little embarrassed by the thunderous noise that was being emitted from under the truck's prehistoric hood. As I wove through the streets of Forks towards the school, Bella and I chatted fairly easily. I kept shooting vampire lore questions at her, and although I had been nervous at first that she would be offended, she laughed easily and answered them all. It turns out there are a lot of misconceptions about vampires. Go figure.

We pulled into the parking lot and I eased my behemoth of a truck into an empty space. I got out of the truck, slammed the door, and walked around to open Bella's door.

She gave me a warm smile as I opened her door for her and helped her down from the cab. I knew that she didn't really need my help, but it meant a lot to me that she was willing to let me pretend to help her anyway.

I couldn't believe I was arriving at school with Bella Swan. I felt elated. I couldn't keep the borderline goofy grin off my face as we walked towards the building. Bella walked slightly ahead of me, and I hesitated for a brief moment as an idea formed in my head. Then, smiling, I hurried to catch up with her. As I sidled up next to her, I threw one arm around her petite shoulders. She looked up at me with a ferocious look and I heard a low snarl rip through her chest. Startled, I immediately dropped my arm and began stammering an apology.

After a second, Bella's eyes cleared and her mouth formed a little "o". "Edward, I'm so sorry, I just wasn't expecting that. You have to remember that I'm essentially a hunter and I'm not used to physical contact unless it's on my terms. No one has ever tried to do that, or, even been able to do that. You just took me by surprise. I am so sorry." She looked at me with a horrified expression on her pale face as she rambled on and I felt awful.

"Hey, hey. Shhh. Bella, Bella. It's fine. It's my fault. I should have known better than to catch you off guard like that. I forget that all of this is...new to you. I'm sorry." I tried to sooth her. She looked so devastated, I just wanted to reach up and stroke her hair, but given her reaction the last time I tried to touch her without her knowledge, I decided to take a different tactic. I held my hand up slowly.

"Bella, can I touch you?" I asked tentatively. She smiled and nodded as she closed her eyes. I reached up slowly and brushed my hand across her cheek. It was cool and felt smooth and firm. I felt the same electric pull zing through my hand as I had the other times we had touched. Her smile increased and a soft sigh escaped from her lips as she leaned into my touch. I was enveloped in her sweet scent and let out a contented sigh of my own.

"There's the reaction I was hoping for..." I said softly as I gazed down at her.

"That's the reaction I always want to have," she mused, her eyes still closed as she I stroked her cheek. She was so lovely, it almost made my heart ache to look at her. As I stood there gazing at her, something occurred to me.

"Hey Bella...tell me more about how your shield works."

She opened her eyes and then narrowed them at me inquisitively. "What do you mean?"

Reluctantly, I let my hand fall from her face. "Like, can you control it? Can you turn it off and on?"

"It's not quite that simple, but essentially yes. Why?" She cocked her head to one side.

"Is it dangerous for you to turn it off? I mean, does it leave you and your family vulnerable?" I liked the idea that was forming in my head more and more, but I didn't want to endanger her or her siblings.

"If I leave us unprotected for long periods of time, I suppose it's dangerous, but I've turned it off before, just never at school or in public. What are you planning?" she asked suspiciously.

"It's no big deal. I just want to see how people react to you without your shield. Would you be willing to turn it off for a couple of hours?" I asked as we began walking towards the building again.

"It's not quite as simple as what you are implying, but if you want me to not shield myself…okay, if it will make you happy," Bella said, shrugging and smiling up at me as we continued walking.

"It will," I said. This time I made sure that Bella could see me and anticipate what I was doing as I swung my arm over her shoulder. My arm seemed to fit perfectly there, and Bella seemed to fit perfectly in the crook of my arm as we reached the door of the school.

_Here we go._ I thought as I reached up and pulled open the door and allowed Bella to step inside.

**A/N: Thanks to My Smile Is My Tears and Angelz1114577 for their awesome beta work.**

**Follow me on Twitter KekahJ for updates and random ramblings. :)  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 9

Maybe it was my imagination, maybe I was hyper aware of Bella and I being together publicly, but to me it seemed like I could see the effect of Bella's shield being off immediately. We walked through the crowded halls together, my arm still slung over her tiny shoulders. I could see people following us with their eyes, small expressions of surprise on their faces.

Bella glanced up at me nervously as we walked. I could tell that having her shield down was making her feel vulnerable, and I tried to rub soothing circles into her shoulder as we walked. I knew she was doing this for me, and that this was about Bella trusting me in general. She had already entrusted me with so much of her precious self, it made my heart swell to realize that she was willing to give me even more.

We reached her first class and I stopped at the doorway. She turned to face me, and once again I reached down and cupped her cheek. She sighed and leaned into my hand, just as she had in the parking lot. Could my touch really bring her as much comfort as it seemed to? I smiled at the thought.

"See you at lunch?" I asked hopefully. We hadn't really made any definite plans regarding spending time outside of class together, but I hoped that she would be willing to spend her time with me. She nodded before turning and stepping into her classroom. Before I turned to set off for my own class, I noticed the heads of several of Bella's male classmates turn as she walked by them. I frowned and pushed the irrational surge of jealousy I felt down. I knew that it was her shield that was keeping everyone from noticing how stunning she was. I had asked her to take it down, or turn it off, or whatever she had to do, so that she would be able to see that she was not the frightening monster she believed herself to be.

I made my way to my class and slunk into my chair, feeling more and more nervous about my plan with each passing minute.

"Hey," Jasper said from his seat next to me. I hadn't even noticed him sitting there.

"Hi," I answered despondently. He gave me a funny look as if to say _What's up with the sad puppy face? _But Wagner signaled the start of class before he had a chance to quiz me on it. English passed quickly, as did my second hour class. It was in the middle of my third hour class when it all fell apart.

As Mr. Stewart lectured up in the front of the classroom, my attention was diverted to Ben Cheney and Eric Yorkie sitting in the back corner of the room near where I was currently slouched down in my seat.

"Did you see Bella Swan today?" Yorkie hissed conspiratorially to Cheney. My ears perked up at the mention of Bella's name. Cheney shook his head, so Yorkie continued.

"She was looking hot. I don't know what she did differently today, but damn, it worked. I think I'm going to try and get her number." Yorkie grinned at Cheney. I felt my ears grow hot and I worked to control my breathing.

"She's always been a little weird, man, she and her sister, both," Cheney answered, apparently still skeptical of Yorkie's opinion of Bella.

"Yeah, that's cool though. I dig freaky chicks, man," Yorkie whispered and the two discreetly bumped fists under the table.

I couldn't hear anything after that except for the blood pounding in my ears. Suddenly, the whole idea of Bella being able to repel the male population of Forks High didn't seem like such a bad idea after all. How could I have not realized it would be a huge mistake to convince her to let her shield down? It was obviously working, and what if, in the process of realizing she was not a horrible monster, she found someone she was more attracted to now that she wasn't shielding everyone?

I pushed the panic down and concentrated on making it through class. I was still preoccupied with the idea that I had inadvertently opened the flood gates to male teenage hormone hell when the bell rang signaling the end of the period.

I was up and out of my seat before the bell even finished ringing. I had to find Bella. I didn't even know what her morning schedule was. I wandered the halls aimlessly, frantically searching for her, bumping into people and mumbling insincere apologies as I pushed past them.

Finally I found her. She was getting ready to head into her spanish class. She was flanked on either side by Riley Turner and Marcus Flynn. I ground my teeth together as I approached her.

"Bella," I called over the din of the hallway. She turned and looked at me, and I took a small measure of comfort at the relief evident in her eyes.

"Turn it back on," I said through clenched teeth, doing a horrible job of controlling my inner caveman. She looked at me in surprise for a moment before nodding eagerly. With a satisfied nod, I turned to head to my own class.

Even though she was shielding everyone again, the damage had already been done. All morning I heard whispers and lewd comments about Bella. By the time lunch arrived, the only thing that kept me from giving in to the caveman and throwing her over my shoulder and carrying her away from all of their prying eyes and inappropriate gossip was the fact that I wasn't sure that I'd actually be able to pick her up and carry her over my shoulder.

Instead, I settled for grabbing some lunch and heading over to Jasper's table. I met Bella in the hallway outside the cafeteria and asked her if she wanted to sit with her sister and cousin but shook her head. "Jessica and Mike really want to meet you, but I've insisted they give us a little time and space first. Don't worry. You'll have plenty of time to get to know them. But I'm still a little irritated at Jessica for the stunt she pulled last night, so she's working on my terms now."

I nodded and smiled at the thought of having plenty of time with Bella. The fact that she was making plans for us spending time together in the future made me hopeful.

"So, I don't know if the cafeteria serves mountain lion," I whispered as we stood in the lunch line after dropping our things off at Jasper's still vacant table. "Although I think I saw a stray cat wandering around here somewhere..." I faded off, feigning to look around me.

Bella narrowed her eyes at me for the briefest moment before she shrugged and said, "That's okay. I just had mountain lion last night. I like a little more variety in my diet."

As she spoke she picked up the apple I had just set on my tray and took a bite. Even though I knew she was baiting me, I couldn't stop my eyes from growing wide. "What are you doing?" I hissed, "Is that...okay? It won't make you...sick or anything?"

Bella laughed her tinkling musical laugh and set the apple down on my tray. "Silly Edward, it won't make me sick. It's just like eating...dirt, unpleasant, but not harmful." She shook her head and chuckled at me as we made our way through the rest of the line.

After paying for our food, I spotted Jasper sitting at the usual table. As we approached the laughter and the conversation died immediately.

"Um, you guys know Bella Swan, right?" I asked, attempting to cut the tension. Slowly the ice melted, and they all began to act human again. I introduced her around the table, and everyone, with the exception of Rosalie, was very polite and welcoming.

When no one else was looking, Jasper shot me a sidelong look and raised his eyebrows. I grinned and nodded to him. _That's right. You said it couldn't be done, but you were wrong,_ I thought smugly.

The lunchtime conversation went smoother than I expected. Bella was charming and clever as she spoke with Alice, Jasper and Emmett. Even Rosalie cracked a smile at a couple of Bella's jokes. As I watched her, I marveled at how easily she interacted with the others. They seemed to be drawn in by her charisma and warm smile. The more I thought about it, the odder it seemed, considering her shield. I made a note to ask her about it later.

After lunch, I walked Bella to class with the promise of seeing her soon in Biology. I paused before turning to leave and this time she reached up and cupped my cheek in her hand. Her cool hand was so tiny against my cheek, and I nearly hummed in response to the increasingly familiar spark that buzzed between us.

The classes between lunch and biology went slowly, as I knew they would. When I finally walked through the door to Banner's classroom, I felt myself sigh in relief when I saw her smiling up at me from our table.

"Hi," I said, smiling back.

"Hello. How was your afternoon?" She asked as she began spreading her things out on our table.

"Slow. Yours?" I answered, mimicking her actions with my own belongings.

"It was okay. Lunch with your friends was nice; I like them."

"I meant to ask you about that. It seemed like they were all pretty charmed by you. Were you shielding them?" I asked her quizzically, raising my eyebrow at her. She paused her actions and looked down sheepishly before sighing.

"Like I said before, it's not really as simple as turning it off and on, Edward," she explained. "It's more...organic than that. I can flex it and move it to either include or exclude the people of my choosing."

"Wow. I had no idea," I answered. "So, you can choose who you shield yourself against?"

"Yes," she answered simply, as though we were talking about her ability to drive a car or cook a meal, rather than some super human extra sensory ability she possessed.

"Except for me," I answered smugly, grinning.

"Yes, Edward. Except for you," she rolled her eyes. "You really like that, don't you?"

"Yes," I answered, feeling the heat creep up my neck at my admission.

"I can also move my shield to protect others," she added, laughing when I shook my head at the incredulity of it all.

"You are amazing." That was all I had time to say, because Banner was signaling the beginning of class.

As Banner rambled on I found it difficult to pay attention to what he was saying with the amazing creature sitting so close to me. I marveled at how much had changed in a day. Yesterday at this time she was shying away from me, sitting as far away as possible and doing everything she could to shut me out. Today, she was sitting so close to me we were nearly touching. Every time I glanced at her, which was often, she would smile up at me.

We passed the time by writing notes back and forth about our plans after school. I invited her to my house and, to my delight, she agreed.

After school, we walked out to my truck slowly. Once again being careful to catch her attention first, I placed an arm around her shoulder. This was quickly becoming my new favorite way to walk. She smiled up at me, and, to my surprise, I felt her arm snake around my waist as we walked.

When we neared my truck, I paused before opening the door for her. Taking a deep breath, and steeling my courage, I gently pushed her back up against the side of my truck. I placed one hand on each of her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

"Is this okay?" I asked gently, slowly moving my face closer to hers, inch by inch. I inhaled her glorious scent, and my breathing hitched as she closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, her cool breath only serving to further ignite my skin. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Edward, please step back," she said. Her voice was cold and flat, and it seemed that she was speaking through clenched teeth. Immediately hurt and confused, my eyes flew open and I staggered backwards away from her.

"Sorry," I mumbled, moving back around to the driver's side of my truck. I opened the door and climbed up inside, feeling an embarrassed blush creep up my neck. I glanced over at her side of the cab. The passenger's side door was still closed, and I wondered if she would even get in or if she would just turn around and walk away.

_So stupid,_ I screamed at myself. She didn't feel the same way. I was misreading everything and misinterpreting what I took to be signals. She didn't feel the same way and I had just crossed a big line that I wasn't going to be able to uncross.

I jumped slightly when I heard the heavy door creek open. I couldn't look over at her as I felt her climb in beside me. I gripped the steering wheel with one hand and reached down to crank the ignition with the other.

"Edward," she said softly from beside me. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth, flexing my jaw. Hearing her explanation would be more painful than enduring her rejection had been. I cut her off.

"It's okay. I'm sorry. I just thought...it was stupid-" I began, but she interrupted me.

"Edward, wait. You don't understand. I didn't stop you because of you. Well, I did, but not in the way you think. Let me explain, please." She took my silence as license to continue. "Edward, I'm sorry about what happened out there, but you need to understand something: even though I don't share the traditional diet of others of my kind, that doesn't mean that the appetite, the...desire...isn't there."

As understanding dawned, I finally found the courage to look over at her as she continued. She paused and looked quickly over at me before continuing.

"It's difficult for us to be in such close proximity to humans. It's only from years of careful practice that my family and I can interact with people as closely as we do. But still, even after all these years, I've never been in such close proximity with another human as I have been with you. Don't mistake me, I _want_ to be close to you, it's just that sometimes it may become...overwhelming. When that happens I need space, quickly," she finished in a rush, and looked over at me apologetically.

I couldn't help the feeling of relief and the grin that spread over my face as her words sunk in. "So, you actually liked me...being close to you? It wasn't that you didn't want me to be close to you?" I asked, unable to put into words what my intention had been outside the truck, but grinning even wider at the look that crossed her face at my words.

"Edward. I just admitted to being dangerously close to killing you, and you are happy that I wasn't rejecting you?" She rolled her eyes at me and shook her head incredulously at me.

I couldn't help it. I was suddenly very happy.

**A/N: Thanks to My Smile is My Tears and Robbsweetangel for their fabulous beta work. **

**If you want, you can follow me on Twitter. I sometimes give updates and maybe even a teaser or two. I also ramble on there about weird inane things. I'm kekahj**

**As always, thanks for reading. A review would be much appreciated. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 10

I pulled my noisy truck slowly up into the driveway and grinned over at Bella again. She smiled brightly back at me. Suddenly, I felt nervous about the prospect of Bella being in my home. What would my parents think?

_My parents._ Crap. Somehow in my eagerness to spend more time with Bella and the discovery that she wanted me close to her, I had forgotten to take them into account. I couldn't imagine that they would disapprove of her, but I was nervous about the whole bringing a girl home thing. It wasn't like I had never had a girlfriend, or had girls over before back in Chicago, but this was different. Bella was different. I realized as I walked around to Bella's side of the truck that it would matter to me if she didn't like my parents or vice versa.

"Um...so...there's a slight possibility that my mom may be here," I said sheepishly as I helped her down from my truck.

"That's fine. I'd love to meet her," she smiled sweetly at me.

Of course she would. Most teenage girls would be annoyed at the prospect of meeting someone else's parents, but Bella seemed truly genuine in her desire to meet my mother.

"Okay, but I have to warn you," I said as we approached the front door, "Esme can be a little...over the top sometimes."

As I opened the door for Bella and she stepped through, I could hear Esme calling out from somewhere in the house. "Is that you, Edward?"

"Hi, Mom. I'm home. I brought someone I'd like you to meet," I called.

My mom rounded the corner and came into view.

"Mom, this is Bella," I said, gesturing needlessly to Bella and rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Oh, hello!" she smiled, moving forward to shake Bella's hand. "I'm Edward's mother, Esme."

For her part, Bella beamed back at Esme. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen. You have a beautiful home."

Of course. I should have known that the two would hit it off instantly. Esme led the way back through the dining room and into the kitchen, all the while chatting easily with Bella. They discussed Bella's classes, Bella's family, and life in Forks in general.

Finally, Bella and I settled down in the dining room under the guise of attempting to do some homework. Neither one of us could really concentrate on our work, however, and ended up talking quietly and holding hands under the table. After a while, we abandoned the homework entirely and wandered into the family room where I flicked through channels on the large flat screen my dad had purchased when we moved here.

"Bella, you are welcome to stay for dinner," my mom said, emerging from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a flowery apron. From my place on the couch, I raised one eyebrow at my mom. I wondered what she had been doing to occupy herself while Bella and I were watching television, because this was the first time we had seen her in almost two hours. I was shocked that she had managed to stay away.

"Oh, thank you, Mrs. Cullen, but I probably need to get home," Bella said, glancing at me. I frowned in disappointment, but I understood that staying for dinner might be a little awkward for Bella.

"I'm going to take Bella home, Mom," I said as Bella gathered up her things.

As we walked slowly out to my truck, fingers linked, arms swinging gently between us, Bella looked up at me, a playful smirk on her face.

"You know you don't really have to take me home right? I can easily run, and probably be there in less time than it would take you to drive," she said.

"I know, but if I don't take you, then I just have to say goodbye to you that much sooner," I reasoned, gazing down at her.

"Okay, good point," she grinned, hopping easily up into the passenger seat.

I hesitated a moment, not wanting to close her door yet. From her position in the cab of the truck she was nearly eye level with me. I reached up and brushed a thick lock of her silky brown hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Once again, she nuzzled her face into my hand.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, making eye contact with her so that she would grasp the true meaning of my words.

She thought for a moment before speaking. "I feel...good. The burn is always there, Edward, but it's under control."

"So...this...is okay?" I asked quietly, leaning closer towards her. She had yet to swing her legs around into the truck, so in my current position I was standing in between her knees. I gently placed a hand on each of her knees.

For the second time today, I felt her cool breath wash over me as I neared her glorious face. She maintained eye contact, and for the briefest moment I saw her eyes grow slightly darker, and the warm liquid topaz suddenly turned hard and icy. I paused and felt her hold her breath. Then, just as quickly as they had frozen, her eyes melted back to their liquid gold color. She nodded and I began moving closer once again.

I stopped when I my lips were mere centimeters from hers. I needed her to come the rest of the way. I wanted to know that she wanted this as much as I did. I was thrilled when after only a fraction of a second she closed the gap between us, and her lips were on mine. They were cool and firm, but the same electrical current that moved between us whenever we touched ran rampant under my skin. My eyes were closed, but I saw little flashes of light pop behind my eyelids. I reached up and ran my hand up her neck, twisting her hair around my hand.

Far too soon, I felt Bella's hands on my upper arms, gently pushing me back. I knew she could have forced me to move, but I sensed that she wanted me to be the one to break the kiss. Recognizing how difficult this already was for her, I acquiesced and pulled back.

"Wow," she said, grinning sheepishly.

"Yeah. Wow," I said a little more breathlessly than I thought was entirely necessary. "That was…." I struggled to find an adequate description. Bella grinned and rolled her eyes at me.

"Get in the truck, Cullen," she laughed, swinging her legs into the cab and reaching past me to close the door.

I practically skipped around the truck to the driver's side.

_Okay, calm down,_ I thought, taking a deep breath. _Play it cool. You don't want to seem too eager._ I opened the door and hopped up. No sooner had I slammed the door closed than I felt Bella's cool hands snake around my neck and into my hair. I turned my head just in time to feel her cool lips on mine. I am pretty sure I let a most embarrassing moan escape my throat as she moved her lips against mine.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly a moment or two later, breaking away and moving quickly back to her side of the truck. I wiped my finger across my lips, still tasting her.

"Bella," I breathed, shaking my head, "don't ever apologize for...that." I ran my hand through my hair, trying to clear my head as I started the truck.

As I drove through the dark, empty streets towards Bella's house we were silent, but it was surprisingly not awkward. After a while, Bella finally spoke.

"So, that was really...nice," she said quietly in the darkness. I smiled at the shy tone in her voice. I didn't have to ask what she was referring to.

"It was," I agreed, "Although nice isn't really the word I'd use."

"What word would you use, Mr. Cullen?" Bella asked, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Hmmm... Amazing, spectacular, phenomenal...you choose," I supplied easily. If it was possible, my internal filter was getting even more flimsy the more time I spent around her.

Despite my best efforts to drive as slowly as possible, all too soon we were pulling into the Swan's long driveway.

"Well, I hope you have a good night, Bella. Do you have plans?" I asked, turning in my seat to face her.

"I'll find something to occupy my time. Don't worry," Bella said. Before reaching for the handle, she leaned over and quickly pecked me on the cheek. "Thanks for a wonderful day, Edward."

And then she was gone. I sighed and rubbed my cheek, the latest spot that her lips had blessed, as I pulled my truck back onto the street and headed for home.

As I pulled into the driveway of my own house, I braced myself for the flurry of questions I would receive upon entering the house. Esme did not disappoint. All through dinner I was inundated with questions about Bella from my mom and dad. Carlisle had apparently been briefed about the events of the afternoon by Esme while I was taking Bella home.

Somehow I made it through dinner, doing my best to field all of my parents' questions while still trying to appear nonchalant about my feeling for Bella, a task I was finding to be increasingly difficult. After working for a while longer on my homework, I headed upstairs to get ready for bed.

I stepped into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Under the stream of hot water I felt my muscles relaxing, and I replayed the events of the day. Not surprisingly, my thoughts turned to Bella. As I had so many times before, I thought of her eyes and her perfect face, and this time when I thought of her lips, I felt as though I could still feel them on my own.

I sighed as I shut off the water and dressed for bed, throwing on some flannel pants and a t-shirt. It seemed crazy how quickly everything was moving. But when I thought about Bella I only wanted more. Everything felt so right with her. All the obstacles that were trying to get in our way didn't matter. We needed to be together. I knew how I felt, and after today, I was becoming more and more convinced that Bella felt the same way.

I had just lain down in bed and was trying to turn my mind off so that I could sleep when I heard a soft pinging against my window. At first I thought it was the branches of the huge oak tree that stood outside my window. But soon I realized the sound was much more regular than what the wind could produce. Puzzled, I stood up and went to the window. I had to fight not to yell out at the sight that awaited me.

Bella was dressed in black and standing in the tree outside my window. I flung the window open as quickly as I could, while still taking care to keep it from squealing from disuse.

"Hi," Bella smiled sheepishly, grasping the branch lightly as she made her way lithely towards my window. "Can I come in?"

Unable to speak, I stepped aside so she could hop gracefully into my room.

Holy crap. Bella Swan was standing in my bedroom.

**A/N: Yay! Bella's in Edward's bedroom!**

**Thanks to cyber-sarah and daniwerner from Project Team Beta for cleaning this chapter up for me. :)**

**You can follow me on Twitter. I'm (at)KekahJ**

**Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear what you think about this whole thing... :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 11

Bella was in my bedroom. I was suddenly very aware of the piles of clutter that lay scattered everywhere. My eyes darted around and Bella followed my frenzied gaze with an amused expression on her face.

"It's fine, Edward. I didn't come here to see your stuff," she said, sitting down in the leather armchair in the corner.

"So, why did you come here then, Swan?" I smirked. "I mean, not that I mind, of course, just curious," I hastily finished. I didn't want her to think she was intruding or anything.

"I missed you," she said quietly, looking at her feet. Sometimes her newly discovered honesty was disarming. Sometimes it gave me the courage to be honest back. I crossed the room and knelt before her.

"I missed you, too. I'm glad you came," I smiled at her and leaned in to press my warm lips against her cool, smooth ones. To my delight, she reached her little hand up and stroked the back of my neck, traveling up, and running her fingers through my hair. I felt a shiver run through my body, and felt Bella pull away. For the briefest moment I caught the pained expression on her face as her eyes turned to ice and she fought her internal battle to maintain her self control. I abruptly felt awful that everything was so difficult for her.

"Sorry," I apologized, running my hands through my hair. Suddenly my own fingers couldn't do justice to the way hers had felt only a moment ago.

"Tell me what it's like...the thirst," I whispered as I sat back on my heels in front of her chair. I wanted to understand what she was going through, what she had to sacrifice to be here with me now.

"You don't want to know about that, Edward," she said softly, ducking her head. I sensed her pain and sadness at the mention of her thirst and decided to change the subject. My need to understand what she was going through wasn't worth putting her through more pain.

"Okay, then. Tell me something I do want to know about," I ventured, remembering back to a conversation we had begun earlier on the way to school. "Like, tell me about being immortal."

The words sounded strange as they fell from my mouth, the whole concept of immortality not really sinking in. I had already guessed from our previous conversation that Bella wasn't actually a teenager, but I really had no idea how old she really was.

"What do you want to know?" she asked, her eyes bright once again.

"How old are you?" I asked, bracing myself for her answer.

"Seventeen," she answered before hesitantly adding, "But I've been seventeen for quite some time." At this, she dropped her eyes to her lap, and began fiddling with the edge of her black hooded sweatshirt.

"How long?" I asked, truly curious.

"Over one hundred years," she answered quietly. I stared at her, and for a moment I forgot how to breathe. Quickly though, I remembered that she could hear vital things like my heart rate and my breathing, and would probably get worried if she didn't hear one of them for an extended period of time.

"Um...okay," I said, struggling to maintain a normal expression on my face as I gazed at her in incredulity. "Where are you from?"

Taking a deep breath, she dropped the edge of her sweatshirt and finally met my gaze. "I was born in Arizona," she paused before continuing, "Well, it wasn't Arizona yet, but you get the idea." I thought about Bella being around before Arizona was even a state, and was temporarily mute. She must have sensed this, so she continued.

"I was born in Tucson in 1884, Edward," she said softly, watching me carefully to gauge my reaction.

I nodded, still trying to process the information she was giving me. It was shocking, but I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything about her.

"So, you were seventeen when you…when you became…a…a vampire?" She nodded. I swallowed, still having difficulty using the word sometimes. Also, I was still very unclear on how the whole process occurred. Bella had refused to shed any light on that particular subject.

"Tell me about it," I said quietly from my place at her feet. "What happened?"

Her eyes became distant and unfocused and I could tell that she was no longer in my room, but far away, remembering back over one hundred years ago.

"It's hard to remember, Edward. It was so long ago, and human memories tend to fade after so long. But I remember it was late at night and my mother had sent me to the dry goods store to get some medicine because my little brother was sick. I was walking along the dirt road. I was nervous because I was alone, and it was night time. I remember glancing around and pulling my shawl tighter around my shoulders and picking up my pace. I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. When he attacked, he came from behind. I never even heard him coming…" she faded off and her eyes became even more unfocused.

"Who?" I asked, breathlessly.

"James," she whispered. "He was new in town, and I had heard the adults talk many times about how they didn't trust him. We rarely saw him except for at night. My mother had warned me to stay away from him. I had an uneasy feeling when I was around him. He was beautiful and pale, but there was something a little…off about him. I had no idea what he really was, of course. Until that night, anyway. After he…attacked me…he picked me up and ran with me into the desert so that no one would hear my screams. He stayed by me while the…change happened," she paused and cut her eyes to me.

"So that's how one becomes a vampire?" I swallowed. "You have to be attacked by another vampire?" I suddenly felt a little nauseous as I thought of little, defenseless, vulnerable, human Bella being attacked. Bella met my gaze again, but only for a moment.

"Yes. It's actually a very difficult thing to do. Many vampires lack the restraint needed to…stop once they start. James kept whispering to me how special I was for him to control himself enough not to kill me, but to change me instead." Her last words were said with bitterness and a bite that I had not heard before. She sighed before continuing.

"Afterwards, I had no choice but to go with him. I was too young and…thirsty…to be trusted around humans yet. I hated him for what he had done, what he had made me. But I stayed with him because I felt trapped. I didn't know where else to go." She stopped abruptly and her eyes darted towards the door. I followed her gaze, and my blood ran cold when I heard the doorknob turn. Carlisle knocked softly while stepping into my room.

"Hi son. Just wanted to tell you goodnight. Why are you sitting on the floor?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Huh? Oh, just…" my eyes darted to Bella's chair as my brain searched for a way to explain her presence in my bedroom late on a school night. I was surprised to see the chair she had occupied only seconds earlier was empty. "…stretching," I finished lamely.

"Uh…okay. Well, goodnight then," my dad said, giving me one more odd look before he clicked the door shut behind him. When I turned back to the chair again I jumped to see Bella sitting there as if she had never left.

"Um…I guess that's convenient," I smirked at her as I tried to get my heart rate to return to normal.

"What?" she asked, cocking her head to one side.

"The whole you being able to move silently and super fast so that my parents don't know you're here."

"Would your parents be upset if they knew I was in your room, Edward?" she asked playfully, sliding gracefully from the chair and onto her knees in front of me.

I nodded, mute again.

"Well, then we'll have to make sure they don't find out, huh?" she asked, her cool breath washing over my face as she ran her hand through my hair, pushing it off my forehead. I leaned in and brushed my lips against hers, this time placing one hand on each side of her face as we knelt on my bedroom floor. This kiss went on for longer than any of the previous ones, and when she finally pulled away, I was breathless and almost dizzy. She beamed at me as she gazed into my eyes.

"It seems to be getting a little easier for you. The whole…being close…thing," I mused, feeling a little tongue tied in such close proximity to her again.

She smiled and nodded. "You seem to be making my human side resurface, Edward. I like that. I didn't know it could feel this way."

"Me either," I whispered, gazing back at her.

"You have the most amazing green eyes," she said softly. I smiled at her and felt myself blush, but suddenly remembered the conversation we were having before we were interrupted by my father.

"Finish telling me your story," I said, sitting back down on the floor, cross legged. She grinned and mirrored my pose so that our knees were touching.

"Are you sure this doesn't freak you out too much?" she asked, her smile fading as she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"Not at all. I want to know everything about you. Please tell me. You left off with the part about James." I tried to not put too much venom in my words as I spoke his name. Bella hadn't mentioned it yet, but I hoped that he was no longer in her life. He had attacked her and taken advantage of her. As I thought of this, part of me was forced to begrudgingly admit that if it wasn't for him, she wouldn't be sitting here in front of me now.

She sighed and continued her story. "James and I travelled around. It's difficult for vampires that lead the type of lifestyle that James led to settle down in one place. As we traveled, I became increasingly dissatisfied with James and the choices he was forcing me to make. But I didn't know there was another way." She glanced up at me apologetically, the pain in her eyes evident. Her words sunk in, and I realized what type of lifestyle she was referring to. Bella had killed before. She may not kill now, but she had shed human blood in the past. Even as I realized what she was saying, I couldn't bring myself to feel repulsed or scared by the stunning creature sitting before me. It was James' fault. He hadn't given her any other choice.

"But then, in Paris, we met Jessica." Bella's expression turned to a smile as she began speaking fondly of her sister. "Jessica showed me that there was another way. She had been living with Renee and traveling through Europe. Together, they taught me that our kind could subsist without shedding human blood. I was thrilled. I felt like I had a renewed purpose. James was infuriated with my new family and my new choices." Her eyes clouded over as she relived the obviously painful memory. "He tried to stop me from leaving him, but by that time, I had become aware of my shield and had been practicing using it. I shielded myself against him, and protected Renee and Jessica and there was nothing he could do. Plus, we weren't…bonded anyway, so it really didn't matter," she finished with a shrug.

I was confused by her choice of words. "What do you mean bonded?" I asked.

"Vampires are sentient creatures, Edward. We are made to mate with one person only. A mated pair shares a nearly unbreakable bond. Vampires can share physical relationships with others they are not bonded to, but the connection is nowhere near as intense. James and I were not bonded, so it was not difficult for me to walk away from him."

I felt an almost indescribable relief at her words. I wanted to ask if she had shared a physical relationship with James, but I wasn't willing to offend her or cross the line that doing so would cross. "What happened to James?" I asked instead, trying not to appear overly curious while I silently prayed that the next words out of her mouth would be describing his slow and utterly painful demise.

To my disappointment she shrugged. "I'm not sure. I haven't seen him for many years. I'm sure he's still around somewhere." I felt a sense of dread at her words. "Once I had decided to leave, and he knew there was nothing he could do about it, he took off without a backwards glance. Like I said, we weren't bonded, so the connection between us was not that strong." She ended with another shrug.

"So then, you left with Renee and Jessica, and where did you go?" I asked, yawning mid-sentence. Bella smiled lightly at me.

"It's late, Edward. I'm sorry. I shouldn't keep you up like this." She stood up fluidly. My heart clenched at her words.

"Wait! Don't…go, Bella." I said, gazing up at her from the floor.

"Will you sleep if I stay?" she asked.

The thought of sleeping with her so close by seemed ridiculous, but I lied anyway. "Yes."

"Okay." She sat down in her chair again.

I got up and crossed the floor to my bed. I climbed in and propped my head up against the pillows. Suddenly she seemed very far away, too far away. I frowned across the room at her. "Will you come sit with me?" I asked, patting the bed next to me. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously at me but then slowly she rose and began walking slowly towards me. I tried to push down the thoughts that were springing to mind at the sight of her walking towards my bed. She reached the bed and sat down, quickly pushing herself back so she was lying next to me.

As she lay there, I couldn't help thinking of all the pain she had endured in her life, and feeling protective of her. It was ridiculous. She was immeasurably stronger and faster than me. But still, I reached my arm across her shoulders and pulled her towards me. She complied immediately, and soon she was curled into my side, her head resting comfortably against my chest. I sighed and felt myself relaxing.

"Tell me more about your life," I murmured contentedly.

I felt her smile against me as she began to speak. "Okay, but if you get too tired, you'll tell me right?" I nodded and hummed my agreement, even though I would never chance that she would decide she needed to leave.

She began speaking again, telling me about how the three women had travelled around Europe and North America before Renee met Charlie. They had taught him their "vegetarian" way of life, and he had adapted quickly to the lifestyle. Renee and Charlie had bonded almost instantly, and all four of them had settled down in Alaska. As she spoke of Renee and Charlie, I sensed that these two people really were like parents to Bella. She loved them and relied on them the way that I loved and depended upon my own parents. I decided to ask Bella about that. Bella was pensive for a moment before responding.

"When vampires live…a traditional lifestyle, they don't become as attached to each other. The blood and the violence that is a daily part of their lives keeps them from forming real relationships with each other. The only exception to that is the bonded pair that we talked about before." She paused and looked up at me to make sure I was following. I nodded in encouragement. "But vampires who choose the alternative lifestyle that my family has chosen live a more peaceful existence. We are free to form attachments to one another, as a real family would."

I nodded, thinking that her explanation made a lot of sense. "So that's why Renee and Charlie and Jessica are really like your family. Wait," I paused, remembering something was missing, "What about Mike? When did he come along?"

"When we met Mike he was still human," Bella said softly, and I fought the desire to sit up straight and look at her, instead urging her with my silence to continue.

"He was a local in the small village the four of us had settled down in. Jessica had been taken with him almost immediately, but the rest of us had convinced her that no good could come from a relationship with a human." She paused and looked up at me long enough to roll her eyes, "Yes, I appreciate the irony. Anyway, Jessica had reluctantly agreed, and watched him from afar. One day, he was traveling home from work when he was struck by a car. The car never even stopped, but sped off. Jessica had been following him and was devastated when she witnessed the accident. She hurried to him, and when it was apparent that the damage was so extensive that he was not going to survive, she made the decision to change him," she finished with a sigh.

"Wow," was all I could manage to say. My head was spinning. The thoughts that were spinning around my head were coming too fast and were too incoherent for me to even try to make sense of, let alone voice.

Instead, we lay there in companionable silence until I began to feel my eyelids droop. Although I had thought it impossible, I soon drifted to sleep with Bella lying on my shoulder, tracing random patterns on my chest through my t shirt.

That night, I dreamt of speeding cars, flashes of headlights and a beautiful pale angel carrying me away to safety.

**A/N: Thanks to My Smile is my Tears and Cullenite21 for betaing this chapter. They did a great job (as always!)**

**Also, thank you SOOOO much to all of the people who have shown an interest in this little story. I read each of your reviews and they mean the world to me. *MWAH***

**You can follow me on Twitter I'm (at)KekahJ**

**:)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 12

I could feel the early morning light filtering in through my still closed eyelids. I was used to that. But what I wasn't used to was the chill that ran up and down my right side as I lay in bed. I shivered slightly and attempted to pull the covers up tighter around me in my half conscious state. I was momentarily confused, however, when I was unable to. Something was blocking them.

I furrowed my brow, still refusing to open my eyes, and groped around the right side of the bed. My hand met something cool and hard.

"Oh!" I gasped, as I struggled to sit upright, the memories of the previous evening flooding back in so quickly I could feel my heart begin to pound in my chest. My eyes flew open and found her face immediately. She was sitting facing me with her feet tucked under her legs.

"Good morning." Her voice was velvety smooth and I began to feel very awkward as I took in her perfect appearance. I could only imagine what I looked like after tossing and turning all night. Suddenly, it occurred to me that she had been here to witness all that tossing and turning.

"You stayed!" I cried, a smile spreading across my face. I temporarily forgot that my hair was probably more wild than usual, and I probably had some hellacious morning breath.

"I did. I was going to sneak out after you fell asleep, but you were so fascinating to watch, I couldn't help it." She smiled at me mischievously.

My previous insecurities came rushing back with a vengeance. I could feel an embarrassed blush creeping up my neck and I ducked my head. I snuck a furtive glance at her and her smile fell as she beheld my expression.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I thought you wanted me to stay…" she trailed off uneasily.

"I did…I do. It's just…it's embarrassing, Bella. Who knows what kinds of crazy crap I do in my sleep," I stumbled.

In a flash, she was much closer to me than before. She reached her hand out and stroked my unruly hair, pushing it off my forehead. I was distracted momentarily by her heady scent and the way her lips looked as she pulled the bottom one in between her teeth.

"Edward," she began softly, "I promise you. You were perfectly boring while you slept." Her mouth curved into a devious smile.

I narrowed my eyes at her and pretended to be injured by her words.

"Sorry that I couldn't be more entertaining for you, Ms. Swan. Maybe I can pick up a few sleep walking tricks to entertain you next time," I retorted with false indignation. In truth, I was relieved. I didn't know if she was telling the truth or not, but I hoped that my sleeping was pretty uneventful.

"Next time?" she asked softly.

I grinned sheepishly and ducked my head. "If you want…" I trailed off and chanced a glance at her. She was looking up at me through her thick dark lashes.

"I do want to," she said simply. Then she bounced gracefully off the bed and headed for the window.

"Where are you going?" I asked, trying not to let the way she looked as she bounced across my bed distract me too much.

"I am going to go home and change. You need to get up and get ready or we're going to be late for school," she said, sliding the window open smoothly and hopping out with inhuman grace onto the closest branch. She paused momentarily and turned back towards the window. She looked up, locked eyes with me before grinning and blowing me a kiss. I followed her to the window and watched as she effortlessly descended the tree to the ground and took off into the forest. My eyes widened as she became nothing more than a pale and brunette blur amongst the trees before disappearing completely.

Bella Swan had spent the night in my room. I nearly did cartwheels down the hallway to the bathroom. Granted, we hadn't _done_ anything much, but still, as far as I could tell she had spent the night curled up comfortably at my side. It was still enough to make me whistle as I showered and moved through the house getting ready.

"You're in a good mood today," my mom remarked as I rounded the corner. "Bet I know why…" she smiled at me.

The whistle died on my lips. How could she know? Bella would have heard her, wouldn't she? And if my mom did know, why was she smiling? I knew Esme liked Bella, but this was a little ridiculous. I gulped.

"You do?" I asked, deciding to play dumb and reveal nothing until I knew what my mom knew.

"I bet it has something to do with the girl that was here last night," she said in an annoying sing-song voice. I tried not to let my sigh of relief show as I sunk down into a chair with a piece of toast. Last night. When Bella had been here the first time.

"Mom, come on," I grumbled at my toast.

"Oh, Edward. It's fine. I think she's great. I'm just giving you a hard time. Don't worry. I'll play it cool." I rolled my eyes. _Really_? I was pretty certain that my mom was incapable of playing anything cool.

"Just…don't," I finished lamely, as I gathered my things and prepared to leave. As I walked down the driveway, I began to feel uneasy. Bella hadn't said anything about riding together when she left. But yet, I didn't want to have to wait till lunch, or worse, Biology to see her.

As the internal debate I was having with myself about whether I should just go to her house and pick her up or not was coming to a head, I stopped short. There, at the end of my driveway, was Bella leaning against the most glorious looking automobile I had ever beheld. It was a real tribute to the car that it was appealing enough to distract me, even momentarily, from looking at Bella.

"Hello," I said to them both as I approached. Only Bella responded.

"Good morning…again," she smiled up at me, pushed herself off of the car and closed the distance between us. She wrapped her tiny arms around my neck, and I wound my arms around her waist as she brought her lips to mine. I hummed contentedly and felt her smile against my lips.

"So, I thought maybe I could drive today," Bella said as she broke our kiss. Only the reminder of the magnificent vehicle behind her could temper my disappointment at having to pull my lips away from hers.

"Whose car is this?" I asked as my eyes roamed over every inch of it. It was a Ferrari F430, of that I was sure. It was candy apple red and sparkled, even in the overcast morning light. When Bella didn't answer me right away, I peeled my eyes away from the car to her face. She had one eyebrow raised and the expression on her face seemed to be hovering between annoyed and amused.

"Mine," she said simply.

"This is…your car," I said in blatant disbelief. It came out as a statement instead of a question. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yes. Why?" she asked, a slight defensive tone in her voice.

"I uh…nothing, it's just a really nice car, that's all," I said, clearly backtracking, running my hand through my hair.

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "It's okay. It's just a car, I guess."

My eyes widened and I stared at her in disbelief for a moment. "What do you mean 'it's just a car'?" I asked incredulously. I had to work to suppress the urge to begin rattling off facts about the car's many impressive abilities and unbelievable attributes. I wasn't necessarily a gear head, but I knew my way around a luxury automobile.

Bella shrugged again. "I don't know." She tossed her hands in the air as she spoke. "I guess it's nice. I like it fine, but I'm not that into cars. I didn't pick it out. Charlie bought it for me. We have…lots of cars at our house. I like this one because it's red." She was looking down at her hands by the time she finished.

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, but nothing would come out. She looked up at me and sighed again, her tiny shoulders moving up and down.

"Do you want to drive it?" she asked, tossing her hands up again and looking at me. Again, it took me a moment to remember how to speak.

"Yes," I half growled. She grinned and rolled her eyes, tossing me the keys.

"Catch," she called, already halfway around to the passenger's side. I opened the door and reverently sank down into the plush leather. I gingerly placed my hands on the wheel and breathed in deeply. It smelled of fine leather, new car and, of course, Bella, which only served to enhance its appeal. I placed the key in the ignition and as it roared to life I felt like I could feel it vibrate deep within my soul. I let out a low, tortured groan. Suddenly I was very nervous. Knowing about cars was one thing, but the nicest car I had ever gotten to drive was Carlisle's Mercedes, which, while it was a nice car, was not even in the same league as this machine.

I turned to look at Bella nervously. "Are you sure about this?" I asked. She smiled and reached up to stroke my cheek.

"Of course. This will make you happy, right?" I nodded fervently in response. "Then I trust you," she shrugged. I grinned as I leaned over to kiss her.

"Besides, we have really good insurance," she said against my lips, grinning as I pulled away from her.

I glared at her for a moment and then sighed. "I promise I'll be careful. Besides, I'm the only one who's really in danger here. If I wrap this thing around a telephone pole you'll probably be able to just walk away."

Bella cocked her head and appeared to think about what I said. "True. But don't worry, I'd pull you out at the last moment," she grinned and I leaned in and kissed her wintry lips again.

"You are so beautiful," I murmured as she pulled away from my kiss.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you talking to me, or the car?" she asked skeptically.

I thought for a moment. "Both," I answered honestly. She rolled her eyes at me and I decided it was time to turn my attention to the road and attempt to get us to school in one piece. Regardless of Bella's promise to rescue me, I decided I would rather avoid a fiery car crash, if possible.

The deluxe engine was super sensitive to my touch, and it almost seemed like it anticipated where I wanted to go, before I even pointed the car in the right direction. By the time I pulled it gently into a parking space at school, I was grinning like a fool. After I safely put the car in park and handed Bella the keys, she turned in her seat to face me.

"How did I do?" I asked.

"Hmmm? Oh, good. You drive too slow, but good," she said.

My jaw dropped open. _Too slow?_ I had been trying to treat her car carefully. I knew it was worth more money than I had ever seen.

If she noticed my expression, she chose to ignore it, changing the subject instead. "So, I thought maybe we could eat lunch with Jessica and Mike today," she said, watching my reaction carefully. I perked up immediately at the suggestion.

"Yeah, that would be great." I nodded enthusiastically. I was looking forward to officially meeting the girl who had been my champion without my even knowing it. Also, I would be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued by the thought of meeting Michael. He had known both girls when he was still human, and now he wasn't. I couldn't help but draw parallels between his and Jessica's relationship and my own with Bella, although I wasn't ready to look at the meaning behind those similarities yet.

The morning went by quickly. In English, Jasper was surprisingly noninvasive about the whole Bella situation. He asked a few questions, but when I didn't elaborate much he let it drop after simply saying, "She seems like a really cool girl. I think she'll fit into the group nicely." And just like that Jasper had effectively given us his blessing. I knew her friendship with them wouldn't be a particularly close one for obvious reasons, but it meant a lot to me that he was so willing to accept her and call her a friend. I thanked him and then explained our lunch plans to him. He nodded and simply said, "Cool. Have fun."

When the bell for lunch rang, I made my way to the cafeteria. I quickly spotted Bella sitting at her usual table with Jessica and Mike. She saw me and motioned me over with a smile. When I neared the table she looked up.

"Edward, this is Jessica, my sister, and Michael, my cousin." She gestured to each of them as she spoke. I nodded politely at each of them. Jessica gave me a warm smile, while Mike reached out and shook my hand. His grip was firm and cold.

"It's nice to meet you both. I've heard a lot about you from Bella," I said, setting my tray down next to Bella's.

"We're so glad to meet you," Jessica said, her voice almost as musical and lilting as Bella's. "Although, I think I owe you an apology for the other night," she finished, dropping her eyes to the table.

"Uh, actually, I probably should thank you for that one, Jessica," I said, smirking at Bella. "If you hadn't done what you did who knows how long it would have taken Bella to get the guts to tell me."

Jessica looked a little shocked for a moment. She recovered quickly and looked over at her sister. "Hmm. Who's the idiot now, huh, Bella?" she said with a satisfied smirk on her face. Bella narrowed her eyes at her and then shook her head.

"Um, still you, Jess," Bella said, waving her unused fork at her sister. Jessica rolled her eyes dramatically. "You could have given him a heart attack." Bella turned to me, a look of concern on her face, and this time Jessica wasn't the only one who rolled her eyes. I thought I had proven that I wasn't the delicate flower she thought I was. "Who knew that he'd do so well with…weird," Bella finished, shaking her head and looking up at me affectionately.

I shook my head. "You're not weird, Bella." _Beautiful, intriguing, addictive_, I added silently. I couldn't think of Bella as weird.

At my words, Jessica and Michael burst into laughter. "Okay, Bells. Hang onto this one, for sure!" Michael cried, still chuckling. Bella rolled her eyes at him and gave Mike a punch in the arm. Michael rubbed his arm a little, and I looked at him in sympathy. I remembered what that felt like. "Seriously though, Edward, you have no idea how you've changed Bella already." I smiled brightly at the thought. I looked over at Bella and she was looking at Michael with an embarrassed look and shaking her head at him. At her look, Mike threw up his hands. "What? It's true, Bella. You're much more fun now."

She narrowed her eyes at him, and I was a little afraid for the guy's safety for a minute before I remembered that he was a super strong vampire and could probably hold his own against her. Instead, I tried to distract her.

"Bella, don't feel bad. I feel much more relaxed around you too. I feel like I can finally…breathe," I finished, my voice just above a whisper as I stared into her eyes. She reached up and stroked my face before Jessica cleared her throat loudly.

"Okay. Um anyway. Wow. It just got really intense in here. Should we…leave…?" she asked, motioning to Mike and herself.

Bella and I rolled our eyes at them, and turned the conversation to more mundane topics such as school and life in what Jessica called, "The most boring, unexciting town in the history of the planet."

"Don't complain, Jess. At least we can live fairly normal lives here," Mike said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What do you mean by that, Mike?" I asked, grabbing a fry from my tray. The fact that I was the only one eating was not stopping me from wolfing down my food. Now that I knew why the others were choosing not to partake, I no longer felt self conscious about eating in front of them.

"Well, it's cloudy here most days," he answered.

"So?" I asked, my mouth full of fries. Michael and Jessica both looked at Bella, who suddenly appeared very interested in her backpack on the table.

"You didn't tell him?" Mike asked, incredulously.

"Or show him?" Jessica added.

I furrowed my brow. What was I missing? Bella simply shook her head and refused to look up.

"Bella…" I prodded, "What are you not telling me?"

She finally looked up and her eyes looked pained as she bit her lip. "There's a reason we live in a place where it's overcast and cloudy so much. Remember when you asked me about our kind being able to go out into the sun?" she began.

"Yes, you said that was a myth-" I started, but she interrupted me.

"It is. But like a lot of myths there's some truth to it. We _can_ go in the sun. It won't hurt us, but we _can't_ be in the sun around humans."

"What do you mean?" I questioned, still confused. I looked quickly around the cafeteria. Bella and I were speaking in hushed tones, but no one was paying any attention anyway. I tried to push down the pit of fear that I felt building in my stomach. What did she mean that she couldn't be in the sun around humans?

"I'll show you. Soon," she promised quietly. I turned to look at Jessica and Mike, but they were staring at the floor. Apparently they felt that this was something they needed to let Bella handle all by herself. That fact alone had me worried. Jessica had thought nothing of intervening and allowing me to witness Bella hunting ferocious mountain lions with her bare hands, but when it came to revealing the secret of Bella in the sun, that apparently was too intense.

Soon the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I kissed Bella lightly and headed off to my afternoon classes. All afternoon the idea of Bella in sunlight kept worrying me. What was it that kept them away from humans when the weather was good?

As I rounded the corner and entered Biology, I saw her sitting there, looking for all the world like she was waiting for me. I instantly realized that it didn't matter what the secret was. There wasn't anything that Bella could tell me about herself now that would change my feelings for her.

**A/N: As usual, the wonderful My Smile is My Tears and Cullenite21 worked their magic on this chapter. My comma problem reared it's ugly head again, but they beat it back down into submission. Thank you, both of you. *MWAH***

**You can follow me on Twitter. I'm (at) KekahJ**

**I've also started a new story (cause I'm apparently insane). It's called Someone Like you, and I'd be honored if you'd check it out too.**

**Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear what you think. :)**

**~KekahJ  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Okay, so something's wrong with the document manager uploader thingy. I've been trying to post this chapter since last night and kept getting an annoying error message. So I copied and pasted the content of Ch. 13 into an older chapter. Hopefully it works. Whatever, I'm rambling. Okay, here's Chapter 13. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related (except the movie and the soundtracks).  
**

Chapter 13

"How much further?" I called, trying to keep the whine out of my voice, as I climbed over the moss covered logs that had fallen in the path. Ahead of me, Bella turned around and shook her head at me. This wasn't the first time I had asked this question.

"It's not much further. Do you want me to carry you?" she asked, doing her best to keep a straight face. I glared at her. It wasn't the first time she had asked that question.

Today was Saturday and Bella and I were going on a hike. Although the forest's foliage was too thick to allow the sun's rays to reach us, I could sense the sun's presence in the warmth that permeated the forest floor. I felt a thrill in my stomach at the prospect of Bella revealing another one of her secrets to me. I had done my best to push my thoughts about what Bella was hiding aside in the days that had followed our lunch with Jessica and Michael when my curiosity had first been piqued.

Bella and I had spent almost all of our free time together since Wednesday. She had stayed at my house every night except for last night. Our nights together were quickly becoming my favorite part of the day. We would lie in bed; I would stroke her glorious hair while she rubbed patterns across my chest with her wintry fingers, leaving a trail of goose bumps in her wake. I would ask her questions about her past, it seemed like there was nothing now that she wouldn't share, and we would talk for hours before I drifted comfortably and contentedly off to sleep. She was always there when I awoke, which made mornings so much more bearable. She would stay just long enough to kiss me awake before she snuck stealthily out my window and took off like a shot into the forest.

Last night had been the first night that she hadn't stayed, leaving just after eleven to go hunting with Charlie and Renee. Although I understood why she needed to go, it still made me miss her unbearably. While I had slept, I still felt her absence, and waking up without her was miserable. I had done my best to drag myself out of my empty bed this morning and stumble down the stairs. I was thrilled when she showed up at my door a little later asking if I wanted to go for a walk.

"Um. Okay…" I had said.

"It's supposed to be sunny today." She had said simply. I had understood her meaning immediately, and rushed to gather my things together, tossing a hurried farewell to Esme as we took off out the front door.

We had driven for nearly thirty minutes, reaching the end of a dirt road before Bella had instructed me to pull my truck off to the side of the road and we entered the thick green forest, the early morning sun still obscured by thick puffy clouds.

Apparently my idea of a walk was different from Bella's. It was now near noon, and I was feeling sweaty and a little tired as I trudged through the forest's dense undergrowth and swatted at various insects that seemed intent on bothering me. She, on the other hand, picked her way easily through the underbrush while still managing to look like a supermodel in khaki shorts and a black tank top.

I was busy thinking about the various injustices of life when I didn't notice that she had stopped and ran I right into the back of her solid form.

"Oommmph…" I groaned, rubbing my bicep where it had collided with her shoulder. The girl was deceptively solid. "Sorry." I mumbled.

"It's okay. We're here." She said softly and I could hear the nervousness in her voice. I put my hand reassuringly on her shoulder, and squeezed. It was a little like squeezing steel, but I hoped it helped her feel better, nonetheless.

I looked around and realized that we had reached the edge of a small meadow in the middle of the thick forest. There were tiny multicolored flowers growing amongst the long wild grasses that swayed in the gentle breeze. The meadow was ringed on all sides by tall dark trees and I could hear the gurgling sounds of a nearby brook. The brilliant sunlight was streaming down on the meadow, and as I craned my neck to look up through the thick trees at the sky I realized the puffy clouds that had hidden the sun early this morning were all but gone with barely a cloud in sight. Bella and I were still standing in shadow, but that, I realized with a start, was about to change.

Bella looked up at me, I'm sure she was responding to the sudden increase in my heart rate. She shot me a small unsure smile, and began walking into the clearing. I held my breath. I still had no idea what Bella being in the sunlight might bring, but I would be dishonest if I said that my mind hadn't been conjuring up all sorts of bizarre and downright frightening things since I'd learned of the secret earlier in the week.

The reality of Bella in the sunlight, however, was nothing that my imagination could have created. As she took the last step out of the protective shadows and into the midday sun, I brought my hand up to shield my eyes.

She was spectacular. Millions of tiny glittering diamonds danced upon her already brilliant skin. She turned, her face wary, and looked at me.

"Bella…" I breathed, unable to think of anything more eloquent to say. I closed the gap between us as fast as my human legs could carry me, and as I neared her she only became more magnificent to behold. "This is what you were afraid to tell me about?" I asked her incredulously. "Why? You are…you are even more unbelievably beautiful than before. How is that even possible?" I said breathlessly as I took in her inhuman beauty. I stroked her iridescent cheek with the backs of my fingers and marveled at the way the light bounced off of my palm. She ducked her head for a moment before meeting my gaze.

"You don't think it's…freaky?" she whispered. I gazed at her for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"Bella. You are ridiculous, do you know that? I have seen you take down a full sized lion, run at lightning speed, and I know for a fact that you haven't slept in over one hundred years. I haven't run away yet. Did you honestly think that this," I said, holding up her slender arm and turning it back and forth so I could see the prisms of light bounce around us, "was going to be the thing that scared me away?! The fact that you are a little…sparkly?"

Her face suddenly twisted in a tortured expression. She sighed and backed away from me. Confused, I followed her.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.

"I don't know, Edward. If it isn't…this," she gestured to her sparkling skin with an irritated flip of her hand, "then what is going to be the thing that finally breaks you?" The pain of her words was evident in her eyes, and my heart ached for her. I wanted to take that pain away, but I wasn't sure I knew how. At my silence she continued, "I live in constant fear that it's all going to become too much for you. That you're going to realize that I'm so not worth any of this." Her voice was frantic, and she covered her face with her hands in distress. The gesture was so pitiful and she looked so desponded that I felt my heart wrench in my chest at the sight of it.

Her words, combined with the gesture, spurred me into action. I crossed the meadow to her and enveloped her small frame in my arms.

"Bella." I said my voice rough with emotion, "Bella. Look at me." I put my hand under her chin. I knew I couldn't force her to look up, but I hoped that she would comply with my request anyway. She hesitantly lifted her small face up to meet mine. "Don't ever say that. Do you hear me? Don't you ever say that you aren't worth it. No one is more worth it than you. Didn't I fight to get you to let me in; to let me know you better? There's a reason that I'm the only one you can't shield yourself against. There's a reason that I feel this pull towards you, and I know you feel it too. We are supposed to be together, and it doesn't matter. Bella, it doesn't matter if you're a vampire or I'm a werewolf or any of that. None of it matters to me. The only thing that matters to me is you. Bella, can't you see?" my voice was fierce and I was grasping her shoulders tightly as she looked up at me with wide eyes. I paused for a moment, a surge of fear rippling through me. I pushed it away and continued anyway. "I love you."

Her eyes grew impossibly wider at my words, and for a brief moment I was scared of her reaction. But then, just as quickly I realized that it didn't matter. Her reaction would never make the words any less true. I loved Bella Swan. I loved her with all of my heart, and nothing could ever change that.

"What did you say?" she asked quietly her eyes flashing with something I couldn't identify. I lifted my chin up defiantly.

"I love you, Bella Swan. I know it's only been a week or so, and I know it sounds a little crazy, but I love you. Nothing you can say will change that." I was prepared for her to rebuff me. I was prepared for her to brush my declarations off and tell me that I was moving too fast. I set my chin and prepared to defend my feelings to her. I was not prepared for her reaction.

Without warning her small but powerful arms broke free of my grasp and almost before I could process what was happening she wrapped her arms around my neck and leapt into my arms. She wrapped her slender legs around my waist and began covering my face in tiny kisses. She was heavier than she looked, but I wrapped my arms around her legs to support her weight.

"Say it again." She whispered between kisses. I laughed, overjoyed by her reaction, and slid my arms up her back.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." I whispered over and over again in between whatever kisses of my own I could plant on her smiling face.

"Edward. I love you, too." She said breathlessly, grasping my face in both of her hands. I smiled at her, and my breath caught in my chest as I processed her words. I knew how I felt. I knew that I wasn't going to let her try to change my mind about my feelings, but the fact that she felt the same way was more than I could have hoped for.

"You do?" I asked. She smiled and somehow the sunlight made even her brilliant smile more dazzling.

"Edward, my kind, we are steadfast, unchanging creatures. We don't fall in love easily. But when we find someone it's a permanent thing. When I met you and you cut through all my carefully crafted defenses, I knew. I knew that things were changing for me. I knew that I loved you." As she spoke these words she looked deep into my eyes and I felt the truth of her words reflected in the intensity of her gaze. "I just never dared to hope that you would feel the same about me."

I grinned at her as she stroked my face and moved the hair out of my eyes.

"How could I not feel the same about you, Bella? Since the first day I met you, you have captivated me. I can't get enough of you." With that I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. She kissed me back, pulling herself tighter against me. I groaned against her lips at the increased contact. She groaned back and it was a low throaty sound. Suddenly it was no longer a soft, gentle kiss, but one that was full of our need and the intensity of our newly discovered feelings for one another. By the time she finally pulled away my heart was racing, I was out of breath and a little dizzy. She reached up and stroked my cheek softly.

"You are everything now, Edward. Nothing will ever change that."

"Promise?" I asked smiling at her. She nodded.

We spent the rest of the afternoon lying in the meadow. I couldn't get enough of her sparkling iridescent skin. I planted kisses on every exposed inch while she laughed and ran her fingers through my wild hair. The breeze blew lightly around us and it felt wonderful.

As I lie there with Bella in my arms, watching as the sun made its way west across the sky, I felt as if nothing in the whole world could go wrong. I should have known better.

As I was stroking Bella's back I felt her suddenly tense up. I felt her deep rumbling growl on my palm before I heard it escape from her lips. Confused and a little startled, I looked up at her.

"Wha—" I began, but before I could finish my question she had sprung to her feet, and was pulling me up roughly. I looked around in confusion for a moment before I saw him.

Across the meadow, walking slowly towards us with a languorous grin on his face was a tall blonde man. It was obvious almost immediately from his sparkling skin that he was a vampire. He looked to be in his mid twenties, and as he approached, I noticed he was wearing nothing but a pair of jeans and a battered white tank top. His long blond hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail at the nape of his neck and he was barefoot.

Bella pulled me roughly behind her and crouched down into what was clearly a defensive posture. The low menacing growl continued to escape her lips as the man edged closer. I decided to try to speak again.

"Bella, who---" again I was cut off by a furious shake of her head as she crouched even lower in her defensive posture.

When the man was about twenty feet away, Bella finally spoke.

"Don't come any closer." she said in a low hiss.

"Bella, baby. After all these years that's the reception I receive." The man grinned crookedly at her and spread his arms wide in front of him. The hair on the back of my neck stood up at the familiar way in which he addressed Bella.

Ignoring Bella's warning, the man continued to move towards us.

"Trust me, I don't mean you, or your little…friend…any harm." He said, toeing at the dirt with his bare foot as he walked. He stopped when he was about five feet away, and I watched him with narrowed eyes as he looked me up and down while he continued to speak to Bella, "I am just so delighted to see you, after all these years. Do you plan to introduce me?"

Bella let out a frustrated sigh, and straightened her posture a little.

"This is Edward." She said motioning to me while still maintaining her position in front of me. "Edward, this is James."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I'm overwhelmed.**

**Much LOVE to my fabulous betas My Smile Is My Tears and Cullenite21. They are the reason these chapters make sense. At. All. :)**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 14

"Hmmm…" James drawled, placing one finger on the side of his cheek. "I had no idea that your…empathy towards humans included taking them for…pets, Bella." His smile was crooked and sinister as he looked me up and down. Up close, I could see that his eyes were not the same beautiful gold as Bella's. Instead, they were a deep crimson and seemed to glow in the late afternoon sunlight.

I felt an instant surge of hatred towards this man. I recalled the way Bella had described him. The memories she had of him were clearly painful and I knew that she had suffered a great deal of anguish and torment at his hands. He had been the one to change her into what she was now. And while I could never fault him for creating the beautiful creature that stood before me today, I knew that he had also been the one who had forced her to make choices that caused her to hate herself.

"What do you want, James?" Bella asked, nearly growling. At her words, James' mouth became a surprised 'O' and he placed his hand on his chest in mock surprise.

"Why, Bella dear, I just came by to check on my long lost friend. Well, I say _friend_, but you and I both know that we were once _much_ more than that, weren't we?" He grinned again, his eyes flickering to me for a split second. I knew he was checking my reaction to make sure his words had found their mark. Ice ran through my veins as I processed his words. James took a step towards Bella, and though there was no discernible change, he stopped in his tracks and held his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay. Hmm. I see you've gotten pretty adept at using that shield of yours haven't you, love?"

"You have no idea," Bella hissed. I couldn't help but notice once again how spectacular she looked as she tossed her head, the sun glinting off of her hair, turning it russet colored. Her eyes were narrowed and she wore a fierce expression on her face. As she crouched in front of me, her muscles were coiled and ready. She was beautiful, and she was honestly a little scary to behold. Strong, powerful vampire or not, I would not have wanted to incur Bella's wrath the way James seemed to be right now.

"I am doing fine, thank you. I will give your regards to Renee and Jessica," Bella said through clenched teeth. At her words, James clapped his hands in delight.

"Oh! How wonderful. I had nearly forgotten about Renee and Jessica! You three are still a little coven then, I see. How delightful. I should like to give them my own regards then, I think." With those words, he turned his back to us and began retreating across the meadow the way he came. For a split second, I thought he was leaving and I felt elated. My bubble was burst however, when after a few paces, he looked back over his shoulder in our direction. "Well, are you coming, Bella?"

In front of me, Bella growled again, clenching and unclenching her fists several times, and then called out to James.

"Give me a moment, James."

I furrowed my brow, confused. "Bella, I…what are we doing? What's happening?" I whispered from behind Bella's back. She turned to me with a pained expression in her eyes. She bit her lip for a moment and took a deep breath.

"Edward, I'm going to take James back to the house to say hello to Renee and Jessica. I want you to go home. I will—"

I quickly cut her off. "What? No. I'm not going home. Why…what? I don't want to go home. I want to go with you!" I didn't trust James, and I didn't want to leave Bella alone with him. In the back of my mind I knew it was ridiculous to think that I would be able to protect Bella against James. What did I have that could protect Bella and her family from such a monster? I was just a weak and vulnerable mortal. I ground my teeth in frustration at the thought.

However, Bella seemed to be considering it, as she looked me up and down quickly.

"Hmm. You may be right. I don't want to leave you unprotected at home, in case James decides to look for you later." I felt a thrill of fear at her words. Bella must have seen it because she quickly rushed to my side and began stroking my cheek, brushing my hair back. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to frighten you. I will never let anything happen to you. My family and I will keep you safe."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I scrubbed a hand over my face. "I should be the one protecting you, Bella," I growled in frustration.

Bella looked taken back for a moment. Then a slow smile spread across her face. "Oh, Edward. You can protect me, at least the part of me that matters," she said softly, as she gazed into my eyes. I gave her a confused look. What was she talking about? She grinned at my confusion and gently took my hand. While maintaining eye contact, she brought my hand up slowly and placed it on her chest. "I need you to protect my heart. It's yours now. Please keep it safe," she finished in a whisper.

"I love you," I said simply, as I brought my other hand up and wrapped it around the back of her neck, gently pulling her closer to me as I bent down and planted small kisses along her neck. After a few moments, Bella pulled away, sighing as she ran her hands through my hair one final time.

"We need to go. James is waiting." At her words, I let out something in between a groan and a growl and tightened my hold around her shoulders. Bella rolled her eyes and smirked up at me.

"Why are you letting him come home with us anyway? You obviously can shield him," I said, scratching the back of my neck in frustration.

"There's something about James that I didn't tell you, Edward. He's a tracker." At my confused look Bella continued. "He can find anyone anywhere. My shield may keep him from getting too close to me or my family, but it can't keep him from tracking you." As she finished, she dropped her gaze to the ground in a look that clearly showed her disappointment in herself. I was silent as I processed her words and what this new piece of information meant for us.

She looked up and took a deep breath before speaking again. "I'm afraid that if we don't comply with his request it will only increase his curiosity. I don't want to do anything that will provoke him to seek you out later, Edward." She reached up and stroked my cheek softly again. I sighed and nodded. I could see her point. At my nod, Bella's face brightened, and I could see her mind at work as she spoke.

"Okay. Here's the plan. We'll go back to my house, James will say hello to Renee and Jessica. They will be less than thrilled at his sudden reappearance, by the way. Anyway, after he says hello I am sure that he will be on his way. I can't imagine that he will want to stick around here. This isn't really his…scene." Her eyes flashed to mine, and I grasped her meaning immediately. A slight shudder rippled down my spine as I thought of all the people in Forks who would be in danger with James' presence. Bella must have felt my tremor because when she looked up at me, I could see the concern in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I promise James will leave soon. We will keep everyone safe. It will be okay," she said, soothing me by stroking my cheek with her cool hand. I let out a puff of air through my mouth and nodded. I had no choice but to believe her.

Bella and I picked our way back through the woods to where we had left my truck. Or, more precisely, I picked my way through the woods and Bella practically ran circles around me as she waited. She offered several times to help speed things up, but my pride refused to allow my girlfriend to carry me out of the woods, especially not with James hanging around to see. I was positive that sight would not help to improve his opinion of me. By the time we made it back, it was rapidly growing dark.

As we reached the road, I looked over and felt the blood pounding in my ears at the sight that was waiting for us. There, leaning against my truck with a satisfied smirk on his face, was James.

"It took you long enough, Bella. But I guess you were slowed down a bit by your…friend," James sneered, as his eyes roved over me. Without another word, James leapt into the bed of my truck. I had to work to control my breathing and my shaking hands as I dug my keys out of my pocket. I quickly turned to Bella, who seemed to sense my frustration.

"James, why don't you run beside us through the forest? I know how much you enjoy running."

James appeared to consider Bella's words for a minute, looking back and forth between us. Finally, he shrugged and hopped down. "Whatever." He flashed his smug, lopsided grin again and took off like a shot into the woods. I gave Bella an appreciative look before we both hopped into the truck.

I drove quickly, the yellow beams from my headlights cutting through the damp darkness of the highway as we headed for Bella's house. Every once in a while I caught a glimpse of blonde hair and dirty blue jeans darting in and out of the forest beside the truck.

Although this would be my third trip to Bella's house, I still almost missed the turn off into her driveway. She looked at me and rolled her eyes as I banked hard to make the turn, my tired truck whining in protest.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

By the time I pulled my rusty truck up in front of the house, James was lounging easily on the porch steps. Jessica and Renee were standing beside him with what were clearly sugary sweet smiles plastered on their faces. Michael and Charlie were standing back watching the two women interact with James with wary expressions on their faces.

Bella jumped out of the truck before I had even shut off the ignition. She ran at a slightly faster than human pace to the front porch. Upon her approach, Renee and Jessica looked up at her and gave her tight smiles.

James turned to Bella as she approached. "Bella! My dear, you didn't tell me that your little coven had expanded. I am so glad that I have the pleasure of meeting the newest members of the Swan family." I sensed that James was not as pleased as he was pretending to be about the increased size of Bella's family.

I hopped down from my truck and made my way over to Mike and Charlie. Charlie nodded to me, and Mike reached up and slapped me on the back. He looked at me for a second, and in that moment I knew that Michael understood how I was feeling; I knew that Michael would have my back no matter what. I wasn't sure what I had done to garner his loyalty, but in that moment, standing beside him on the cement porch, both of us watching the women we loved interact with a man we both distrusted and felt something akin to hatred for, I knew we would stand together.

"So, James, what brings you this way?" Renee asked.

James chuckled as he looked up at her. I felt my muscles tense and my jaw clench as I looked at James. He grinned widely and his gaze flickered to me briefly before it settled on Bella. I heard the blood pounding in my head and my vision became hazy and tinted red. Before the words even left his mouth, I knew what he was going to say.

"Well, to be honest, I came for Bella."

Before I even realized it, I was moving. Every muscle in my body was tensed and I couldn't hear anything except a roaring in my ears. My field of vision began to narrow until all I could see was his smug face. Oddly, in that moment time seemed slowed down to the point that it felt as if everything was moving in slow motion. With a primal yell that I didn't immediately identify as my own, I launched myself towards the arrogant vampire. As I moved towards James, all of a sudden it seemed like I was detached from my body and looking at the scene from above. I could see myself moving towards James. I could see Bella and Jessica's surprised expressions as my intentions became clear. I saw Charlie and Mike spring to action only a moment too late.

Best of all, I could see James. I watched his smug smile as it was replaced with a look of surprise as I slammed my fist into his face. I heard several sickening crunches and it took me a second to realize what the noise was. The knuckles in my right hand began throbbing immediately, and as I pulled my fist back it seemed that everything sped up and time began moving normally again, if not a little faster than normal.

Before I could process what had happened, I felt myself being pulled roughly by the shoulders from behind. As I turned my head, I realized Mike had grabbed me from behind, picked me up off my feet, and was forcibly carrying me away from the porch. I kicked my legs out in a futile attempt to escape the iron grip of Bella's cousin.

At the sound of a fearsome, snapping growl, I swiveled my head to look back towards the porch. In the porch light's hazy glow, I could see both Charlie and Renee, each with a hand on James' bare shoulders, restraining him. A series of feral snarls and growls were rumbling and ripping through his chest as he attempted to break their hold.

The sight of the obviously enraged vampire attempting to break free and reach me was not what made my blood run cold. The sight of Bella standing between he and I, just inside the porch light's fuzzy ring of light, was what made me shout out.

"Bella! No!" I yelled, as I continued to struggle fruitlessly to break Michael's grasp. At the sound of my voice, Bella turned towards me.

"Michael, get him out of here!" Bella yelled, the note of desperation clear in her voice. Without responding, Michael tightened his grip around my arms and we took off into the pitch black forest.

I opened my mouth to argue with Mike, but he was running so fast my breath was gone. I closed my eyes as my stomach began to roll. The pain in my right hand was increasing, and seemed to throb with each lightning fast step Michael took.

After only a few moments, Mike's pace slowed to a walk and I was able to catch my breath. He set me down and I looked frantically around in the inky black darkness. With a start, I realized how far we had come from Bella's house.

"No! We have to go back!" I yelled in frustration. When it was clear that Michael had no intention of returning, I tried to step around him. He took a half step to his side and blocked me, folding his arms across his chest. "Mike, come on. You heard what he said. I'm going back there for Bella." I made another futile attempt to make my way around the immobile vampire.

"Edward, relax. At this point you're just going to make things worse. Plus, you need to get your hand fixed up," he said. His calm demeanor only served to further enrage me.

"I don't give a damn about my hand! I need to get to Bella!" I screamed, running my hand through my hair in frustration. I hissed when my knuckles screamed in protest.

"Listen, Edward, before today I had never met James. But I've heard enough about him to know that you just thoroughly pissed him off. I think the only reason that you even got that hit in is because none of us, including James, ever figured you'd be stupid enough to try a jackass move like that. If I take you back there now he's going to try to kill you, and even if he doesn't succeed I guarantee one of us is going to get hurt trying to stop him. Do you want Bella to get hurt trying to protect you?" Michael asked, raising his eyebrows at me. He clearly knew what my answer would be before he spoke.

I scrubbed my uninjured hand over my face several times and yelled into the murky forest in frustration. For the first time since meeting Bella, I felt truly small, human, vulnerable, and helpless.

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to know what you think. Leave me a review?**

**You can also follow me on Twitter. I'm KekahJ :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. Also, thanks to my betas My Smile is My Tears and Cullenite21. They make my writing so much better! :)**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 15 

Bella Swan

Edward loved me. I could feel it deep down in my bones. It rang true in his words and, best of all, his actions. I smiled and stretched lazily in the tall grass as it tickled my arms and face. I could feel Edward's warm palm rubbing slowly up and down my back. I laughed as I felt his lips work up and down my arm, planting tiny, warm kisses along the way.

I sighed in contentment. Edward was awakening feelings within me that I never knew I had. I gazed back at him and noticed that his eyes matched the lush green of the grass perfectly. He smiled his crooked grin at me and I felt as if my still heart might beat again.

I loved Edward. I knew that with as much surety as I knew the sun would rise or that he loved me. As we lay in the gently swaying grass, I felt for the first time since I met Edward, like things might work out.

There were so many obstacles standing in our way. The fact that I had to fight the urge to kill him almost daily was the least of them. We were so different. There was no reason that he should love me. I wasn't human. The things that he found appealing about me were features designed to attract prey. I was a monster. But somehow, miraculously, Edward didn't see me that way. He was kind, and gentle, and honest, and funny, and everything that I didn't deserve. But he loved me anyway. I felt my dead heart soar at the thought.

I glanced back at him again and smiled. As he gazed back at me, I felt the smile slide off my face. I sensed the presence before I heard it. As a reflex, I stretched my shield out. I could feel the thin membrane bending to my will.

I realized with a start that I couldn't get my shield around Edward. While I knew that he inexplicably could penetrate my shield, I had never had a reason to try and shield him before. I had a reason now and I felt my panic rise as I realized that I couldn't get my shield to bend around him.

Had I been able to enclose him in my shield, the presence nearby that I sensed, and that was now close enough I could hear, would have continued on their way, never knowing that we were even here.

I froze and concentrated closely on the presence that was drawing ever closer. I couldn't hear a heartbeat or sounds of breathing. I realized with a sense of dread that the presence was obviously another vampire. Edward and I were alone in a meadow with another vampire and I couldn't shield him.

I listened as the vampire continued to approach us. A slow, snarling growl began building in my chest and working its way up my throat. In a split second, I was on my feet. I pulled Edward up, cutting off his question before he could even ask it, not taking as much care as I should have to be gentle with him. I glanced back quickly to make sure he was okay. He had a startled expression on his face, but otherwise seemed fine.

I turned my attention back to the incoming threat. My vampire eyes were trained on the exact spot I knew he would emerge from in the forest. Long before my eyes could see him, I realized in disbelief who it was.

How could this be? It was impossible. How many years had it been since I had seen James? Yet here he was, walking towards us.

I could see the surprised expression on his face before he even emerged from the tree line. He worked quickly to cover up his shock at seeing me. I was shielding myself, so he had been aware of Edward's presence only until he caught sight of us. The fact that he had heard and smelled Edward, a human alone in the woods, and had come to investigate made me furious. I could tell by the crimson glow of his eyes that simply investigating was not what his intention would have been.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. The startling new discovery that I could not protect Edward with my shield did not mean that I wouldn't fight to protect him. I glanced quickly back at Edward and positioned myself in between him and James.

Edward again tried to question what was going on. I didn't blame him. I knew he was confused about my sudden drastic change in demeanor, but I didn't have time to explain it to him. Quickly, I shook my head to silence him. I heard his mouth close in surprise. I also heard his heart rate increase and I knew that he could finally see James walking towards us.

"Don't come any closer," I hissed quietly. I knew it was loud enough for James to hear. I felt him brush against the sides of my shield. I knew he couldn't come closer to me, but he began walking around the edges of it easily. I wouldn't be able to keep him from getting to Edward. I growled again in frustration. I wasn't sure if James had realized that my shield was ineffective in protecting Edward or not.

"Bella, baby. After all these years that's the reception I receive?" James drawled, grinning at me. At the sound of James' voice, I was suddenly inundated with a flood of memories from my life with him. It made me clench my teeth and my fists. James took in my defensive crouch and clenched teeth and grinned. His casual attitude only served to further enrage me.

"Trust me, I don't mean you or your little…friend any harm," he smirked, stopping as he began to look Edward up and down.

When James asked me to introduce him, I had to consciously work not to launch myself at him in a mad fury. I took another calming breath and closed my eyes briefly. I introduced the two men, taking care to keep myself in between Edward and James. I would do everything in my power to make sure that James didn't get any closer to Edward.

I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath as it dawned on him who our visitor was. I felt my silent heart break as I thought of what he must be thinking. I wanted with every fiber of my being to threaten James and tell him to get lost. I wanted to take Edward and run far away.

But I didn't. I knew James was a tracker. I knew that if we ran now it would only serve to increase his curiosity and he would hunt us down. I was terrified to learn that I was helpless when it came to protecting Edward. I had always been able to protect the ones I loved. My family relied on my shield to protect them and keep them safe as much as I did.

When James suggested we all go back to the house so he could see Renee and Jessica again, I didn't know what else to do. I could hear the frustration and disappointment in Edward's voice. All I could do was kiss him and try to reassure him that everything would be alright. I didn't see any other option. As a vampire, I wasn't used to feeling vulnerable. It was infuriating.

When Edward and I reached the house, I rushed towards James' lounging figure. I quickly took in Renee and Jessica's tense expressions. Charlie and Michael were looking just as nervous and annoyed from their positions at the edge. I knew no one was happy about James' return to our lives, no matter how brief it would hopefully be.

"So, James, what brings you this way?" Renee asked, glancing nervously at me as she spoke.

"Well, to be honest, I came for Bella."

My jaw dropped open at his words and I was so focused on what James had just said that I somehow didn't even register that Edward was moving towards him until it was too late.

Impossibly, my jaw dropped even further as I realized Edward's intentions. The fact that Edward managed to get to James before any of the five vampires present were able to stop him said something about how impossibly stupid Edward's actions were.

I watched in horror as Edward's hand connected with James' face. I hissed as I heard the crunching of Edward's bones. Thankfully Michael regained his composure before the rest of us and quickly pulled Edward away. A millisecond later Renee and Charlie recovered and had James by the shoulders, keeping him from getting to Edward and Michael's retreating forms.

I stepped into the middle of the melee, determined to protect Edward should Charlie and Renee be unable to restrain James.

"Bella! No!" Edward yelled, kicking and struggling in Michael's unyielding grasp. I stared at him for a split second. Amazingly, he was concerned for my safety. He had just punched a vampire full in the face, and he was concerned for my safety. I sighed and shook my head. Edward had no self preservation instincts. That, coupled with my inability to shield him, had me worried.

"Michael, get him out of here!" I yelled, more out of desperation for Edward's safety, than concern that Michael wouldn't be able to hear me.

I watched as Michael departed with Edward. The crack in my heart got a little larger as I saw the desperate expression on his face. I knew that in his mind his actions made sense. He was doing what he felt he needed to be done in order to defend the one he loved. Part of me loved him even more for his well intentioned stupidity. A bigger part of me realized the seriousness of the situation.

I took a deep breath and turned to face James. I crouched down, prepared to impede his pursuit, should he decide to go after the two of them.

I was a little surprised to see James standing on the porch, unhindered by either Charlie or Renee. He rolled his shoulders and turned his gaze from the forest to me. When his eyes fell on me, I dropped my head. He chuckled and began walking towards me.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. What have you gotten yourself into?" he asked, the humor obvious in his tone.

"You don't know what you're talking about, James," I said quietly, still unable to meet his eyes. I was angry with myself for my reaction to James' words. I wasn't ashamed of Edward, or his behavior. I was ashamed of myself and my own shortcomings.

"Don't I, Bella?" James questioned as he reached me. "You can't protect him."

I dropped my head even further. So he had noticed. I sighed and looked up at him despondently.

"I know," I whispered.

James smiled sadly at me.

"Let's take a walk, Bella," he suggested, reaching for my hand. I ignored his outstretched hand, but began walking alongside him. After we had been walking for a few minutes, James sighed and began speaking.

"Do you love him?" he asked without looking at me.

"More than anything," I answered firmly.

"I wasn't lying back there. I did come for you. I've missed you. I want you back," he said quietly. I shook my head vehemently at his words.

"James, there's nothing left for us. You know that. We live two very different lifestyles."

James clenched his jaw and stared out into the forest for a moment as we walked.

"You're going to kill him, you know," he said simply and I stopped short, closing my eyes. I sucked in a deep breath through my nose.

"Why would you say that?" I whispered.

"Because it's true," James answered. I looked up at his bitter sneer. "You can't protect him. He's weak and human. Even if you don't succumb to your thirst, which I still don't understand why you fight against, our kind live a dangerous life, a deadly life for humans. Couple that with your inability to protect him with your shield, and I wouldn't give him a year with you."

My dead heart clenched at his words.

"Even if I don't get to him, someone else will, I'm sure." He turned and looked at me, the thinly veiled threat evident in his blood red eyes.

I sighed and suddenly I felt very vulnerable and weak. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew James was right. I thought about Edward. He was kind and generous. He had his whole life ahead of him. Edward didn't deserve to have his life endangered because of me. As I stood there next to James, I knew that Edward would never be safe as long as I was in his life.

**A/N: I'd love to know what you think. Leave me a review? :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 16

"Ouch! Do you have to be so rough?" I hissed, trying to pull my hand back. Carlisle paused his movements to look up at me with raised eyebrows, grasping my arm tightly just above my wrist to keep my hand in place.

I sighed, mumbling an apology. I knew I wasn't making this easy for him. Michael and I had burst into the hospital emergency room only a few minutes ago demanding to see my father. Carlisle had to be pulled away from his other patients to see me. I knew that he didn't mind, but I still felt guilty.

From the look on Carlisle's face when he rounded the corner and saw us standing there, I knew I must have been a mess. I knew I looked keyed up and wild; I had been pulling my hands through my hair in frustration so often, I was surprised I hadn't yanked any out yet. If I looked half as unhinged as I felt, I knew that my father had cause for alarm. He had looked me up and down and then rushed over to me.

"Edward, what happened?"

I had been taken aback by his question. What was I going to tell him that I had done to my hand? I knew that my injuries were far more extensive than they would have been if I had punched a regular person rather than a rock solid vampire. Plus, I wasn't sure that admitting to punching anyone was going to help my case any. I quickly searched my frantic brain and settled on the fairly lame story of accidentally slamming my hand in my truck door. As soon as I had said the words, I could see the doubt in my father's eyes.

He had led us quickly into one of the small examining rooms and began to treat my hand. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, it was beginning to throb fiercely.

"How did you say you injured your hand again, Edward?" my father asked quietly. He glanced over at Michael, who was leaning casually against the wall of the small room before turning his attention back to carefully poking and prodding my disfigured hand. It was now so swollen it more closely resembled a baseball mitt. I hissed in protest each time he touched it, but remained still.

"Like I said, I slammed it in the door of my truck," I mumbled, not meeting his eyes as he gazed over at me again.

"Hmmm," he said simply as he sat back. "Well, as far as I can tell you've shattered several of the bones in your hand. I'll need to take an x-ray to be sure, but I am certain I'll need to operate on it in order to set the bones in the proper place. You must have shut that door pretty damn hard, Edward. You really did a number on your hand."

I could see the suspicion in his eyes as he wiped his hands on his lab coat, but he chose to keep his doubts to himself as he methodically began cleaning the examination instruments and the work table he had laid them out on.

There was no way I was going to have surgery on my hand now. Not while Bella was in danger from the psychotic vampire who had turned my life upside down in one afternoon. I ground my teeth and flexed my jaw as I began wracking my brain for a way to convince my father that I didn't need to have surgery. My tired and frenzied mind came up empty. I glanced over at Mike for some assistance. Mike met my eye and shook his head ever so slightly as he shrugged his shoulders. Apparently he was not going to be any help.

"Dad, can you just bandage me up? I can't have surgery right now," I said, my voice almost pleading, as I scrubbed the back of my neck with my good hand.

"Edward, I hardly think that anything you have going on is more important than having your hand fixed so that it can properly heal," Carlisle said, raising an eyebrow at me.

I sighed in frustration again. I didn't know what to say, or how to convince him that I needed to get back to Bella without any further delay.

_Well, Dad, you remember my girlfriend Bella? Funny thing, she's actually a vampire and currently she's with her deranged ex-boyfriend, who incidentally is also a vampire. He says he's come back for her. I'm not sure what he means by that exactly, but I'm pretty sure it's not a good thing. So I punched him - hence my jacked up hand- and now I need to get back to her and figure out a way to protect her before he hurts her._

"Look, Dad, I can't explain right now, but I need to go. Please, just wrap up my hand as best you can, and I'll have you fix it as soon as I can. Please, Dad." I looked into his eyes and silently prayed that he would just give me a pass this one time. If not, I didn't know what I would do. I just knew that I needed to get to Bella, and soon.

Carlisle narrowed his eyes and studied me for a moment. Then, slowly he nodded.

I breathed a sigh of relief before I smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks, Dad. I owe you one."

Carlisle didn't say anything, but instead pursed his lips as he carefully placed my fingers and palm in a splint and then wrapped it tightly in a bandage. I could barely sit still long enough for him to bandage it up. It seemed like it was taking forever, and every moment I was away from Bella and didn't know what was going on felt like an eternity. After what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes, he was finally done.

He looked up at me and nodded swiftly. "Go, Edward. But you come back here and let me set that hand for you as soon as possible. If you wait too long, the bones will begin to heal incorrectly and I'll have to break them again to set them," he said tightly.

I winced at the thought of re-breaking my bones. I nodded to him, promising I'd come back as soon possible, and Mike and I hurried from the hospital.

Once we were safely outside the hospital walls, I wheeled around and faced Mike. I knew that it was no accident that he hadn't helped me come up with a believable story for my dad. He wanted to keep me away from James. I realized that deep down he only had my best interest at heart, but I couldn't just wait to hear from her. I had to know what was going on. I didn't trust James, and even though Bella had her shield, I had a bad feeling that it wasn't going to be enough to protect her from James this time.

I narrowed my eyes at Michael. He may have been stronger and faster than me, but I was determined to get back to Bella no matter what it took. "Let's go," I practically growled at him. Without waiting for a response, I began heading for the Jeep that Michael had run back home to pick up while I was waiting to see Carlisle.

Michael rolled his eyes and reached an arm out to stop my progress. "Look Edward, I know how you feel, but we've been over this. There's nothing you can do. You'll just make everything worse. Trust me; vampires don't take being punched in the face well, especially not by humans. In fact, I don't know if anything like that has ever even happened before. The best thing you can do is just go home and wait for Bella to call—"

I cut him off before he could continue. I knew the five words I said next would change his mind. "What if it were Jessica?" I asked him, my voice low and intense. "Would you be able to just sit around and wait to hear what was happening if some sick, sadistic bastard like James showed up and threatened to take her away from you?" I was practically shouting the words at him by the end. I looked around the small parking lot quickly. We were standing under one of the parking lot's several street lamps and a few people had stopped what they were doing to observe the small scene I was causing. I couldn't have cared less at that moment.

Michael stopped what he was saying and closed his eyes as he considered my words for a moment. Finally he looked up towards the sky and blew a puff of air quickly through his mouth. "Fine. Let's go. I'll call Jess on the way and see if I can find out what's going on." As he spoke, we began moving swiftly towards the Jeep. "With any luck, Bella will have already convinced James to leave and he'll be gone. But Edward, if he's not gone, he won't be happy. It will take all of us to keep him from killing you."

As much as I wanted to believe Michael's words, that James would have already given up and moved on, somehow I knew deep down that it would never be that simple. James was not going to give up that easily.

I also knew that there was a distinct possibility that Michael was right about the second part; James would try everything he could to kill me, and it was likely he would succeed. But I couldn't bring myself to care or be afraid if it meant that I would somehow be protecting Bella. I wasn't sure what I would be able to do. I was weak and human, but I knew in that moment that I would die trying to protect the girl I loved.

I watched from the passenger seat of the massive Jeep as Michael wove quickly through the dark streets. As he drove, he took out his phone and dialed Jessica's number.

"Hey babe, it's me. Yeah, we just left the hospital. Edward's dad bandaged him up." He glanced over at me and my bandage covered mitt as he spoke. "Yeah, he's insisting on coming over. What's going on there?" I held my breath as I waited to hear what had happened in our absence. "What? Where? Wha…okay. We'll be there soon." I couldn't help but notice the change in Mike's tone as he spoke his final words and hung up with Jessica.

"What did she say? What's going on? How's Bella? Where's James?" I didn't wait for him to speak once he pushed the button to end the call, but instead immediately inundated him with questions. I was too anxious. I had to know what was going on.

"Edward, I don't know how to tell you this." He glanced over at me nervously, and if it was possible, Mike looked more pale than usual.

"What?" I asked, my voice a rough whisper. As the next words fell from his lips, I felt like I'd been plunged into a bucket of ice water.

"She's…gone. Bella left with James."

My brain refused to process the words. I became aware of Michael's voice as we neared the house, but I couldn't decipher the words he was saying.

We pulled into the driveway and I automatically looked around, expecting to see her there. When I didn't, I felt my chest constrict painfully. At our arrival, Charlie, Renee, and Jessica stepped onto the front porch. I couldn't meet any of their sympathetic stares as Michael and I climbed down from the Jeep.

Michael enveloped Jessica in a hug and kissed the top of her head quickly. The relief on his face at their reunion was evident, and it felt like I had been stabbed as I watched their comfortable intimacy.

Suddenly, I wanted to be anywhere but here. I didn't want to look into each of their faces and see the pity they felt for the pathetic human who fell for the beautiful vampire but wasn't enough to hold her interest.

"I'm going to...take off," I mumbled, running my un-bandaged hand through my hair for the hundredth time that afternoon. I kicked at the dirt beneath my feet as I turned towards my truck.

"Edward, wait. I'd like to…" Renee's voice trailed off as I shook my head. I didn't want to hear what any of them had to say about the matter. It wouldn't bring her back. Clearly she had made her choice. I didn't want to listen to the specifics of why.

As I glanced up at the cab of my truck, I thought back to this morning when Bella had been riding there beside me. My throat closed and I had to swallow thickly as I tried to breathe. Without warning, memories from earlier today rushed in. Was it only this morning that we had been relaxing lazily in the beautiful meadow? I remembered back to how I had thought that everything was so perfect. Compared to now, it had been pure bliss. And now she was gone. How could everything have gone wrong so quickly?

The realization that she was really gone nearly crippled me and I had to force my legs to move steadily towards my truck instead of crumple beneath me like they seemed to want to. I reached my truck and pulled the heavy door open. As I climbed in, I heard Jessica call out from behind me. I paused, leaning my head against the door. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I didn't want to hear what Jessica had to say. I had nothing against her - I was actually quite fond of Bella's sister - but I just couldn't listen to her right now. Regardless, she continued to move towards me.

"Edward. I'm sorry things didn't...work out." I couldn't meet her eyes as she reached the side of my truck. "I'm not quite sure why Bella made the choice she did, but for what it's worth, I think she made the wrong choice." I glanced up at her long enough to give her a weak smile and nod politely as I climbed slowly into my truck.

"Wait!" Jessica called. When I turned my head again she was leaning against the truck. "She didn't say much to any of us when she and James left, but she asked me to give you this," Jessica said quietly. I looked down. In her outstretched hand was a sealed envelope.

"Thanks," I muttered softly, taking it from her and tossing it on the seat next to me. I didn't bother to open it. I knew what it would contain and I couldn't bear the thought of seeing her words of rejection summed up neatly in a few paragraphs. In my heart, I already knew why I had lost her. I wasn't enough to keep her.

The drive home was infuriatingly difficult with one hand. I considered going to the hospital to let Carlisle fix my hand, since I was obviously no longer in a hurry. However, as I drove, I began to feel more and more exhausted, and by the time I pulled into my own driveway, it was all I could do to drag myself from my truck, into the front door, and up to my bedroom.

My mom gave me a puzzled look as I walked through the door. She gasped as she saw my bandaged hand. As she opened her mouth to speak, I looked up at her and just shook my head sadly. Something in my expression made her mouth snap shut. She let me go with a puzzled and worried expression.

Once I reached my room, I crawled into bed. I felt like I was being crushed to death by my grief. My limbs felt leaden and it was all I could do to drag myself across the room and to the bed. As I lay in the dark room on top of my sheets, still fully dressed, I felt strangely numb. Everything felt heavy and black. Too weary to fight against it any longer, I succumbed to the darkness.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 17

I stood under the shower's hot stream of water, gasping for breath. No matter how hard I tried to slow my breathing and tell my body to relax, I couldn't stop my muscles from shaking. My head was throbbing as I pounded my one, undamaged fist against the cold, wet wall, gritting my teeth to stop the scream from escaping my lips.

My stomach rolled and I couldn't fight it any longer. Gasping, I threw the curtain aside, ignoring the ripping and popping sound as it disconnected from the rings attaching it to the rod.

I dashed, slipping and sliding across the cold floor, barely making it in time before the bitter contents of my empty stomach splashed into the porcelain bowl. I wiped my mouth and groaned, sitting back on my heels and resting my head against the cold tile on the wall.

This was ridiculous. I had tried to tell myself that at least a thousand times. She was just a girl. I had only known her for a month. One month, that was all. One month ago I had been a normal teenager. I had not been crouched, naked, shaking, and sick on the bathroom floor.

It didn't matter though. As much as I tried to convince myself that I was fine and I would get over her, I knew I wouldn't. She had come into my life and wrought a permanent change upon my heart, and I would never be the same.

I sighed, pressed my palms against my thighs, wincing as my injured hand throbbed in protest, and stood up shakily, wobbling for a moment before I regained my footing. I walked over to the sink and pulled my toothbrush out of the cup. I squeezed a drop of toothpaste on the bristles and made my way back over to the shower where I inspected the ruined curtain. Placing the brush in my mouth in order to free up my one good hand, I did my best to loop the plastic curtain around the rod so that I could finish my shower. I knew I'd catch hell from Esme for destroying the curtain later, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Back in my bedroom, completely unconcerned with my appearance, I pulled on the first shirt and pair of pants my hand touched in my closet. I stumbled down the stairs, dreading the conversation with my mother that would be necessary in order for me to make it out the front door.

I had spent the majority of the day yesterday alone in my room. My parents had both knocked on the door, wondering what was wrong with their son. My dad had brought some pain killers for my hand and because of them, I drifted in and out of consciousness most of the day. I found no respite, even in my unconscious state. My bleary mind was flooded with confounding images of a sneering blonde vampire and her. There were images of the two of them walking side by side holding hands, smiling at each other. As much as it made my heart ache as I watched the scenes play out in my subconscious, I had to admit that they looked good together, both of them pale and flawless. They matched each other perfectly. I would wake up confused and depressed, only to drift back to sleep again. I saw images of the two of us together, lying in our meadow. She was perfectly pale and lovely as usual, and I looked imperfect and weak and human next to her. These were the dreams that caused me to wake up gagging as I coughed and gasped for air.

After spending the majority of the day that way, I had refused to take any more of the pain medicine in the evening. Consequently, I had not slept well at all. I was on edge and my hand throbbed unceasingly and every little noise I heard caused me to jump up and fly to the window, only to grit my teeth in frustrated disappointment when the tree outside my window remained empty.

Monday morning dawned bright and early, and I knew I had to come out and face the world, as much as I wasn't ready to do it alone without her. Now, freshly showered but still feeling like garbage, I took a deep breath and steeled myself as I entered the kitchen.

Esme looking up at me as I entered. "Hi, honey. How's your hand?" she asked, her voice laced with concern. I saw the worry in her eyes as she took in my haggard expression.

"Hi, mom." I smiled weakly at her.

"So, do you want to talk about it yet? Tell me what happened to your hand?" she asked softly, reaching up to stroke my unshaven cheek. I closed my eyes at the reminder of the reason for my hand's damaged and mangled state. I had refused to give in to my parents' gentle prodding. I wasn't ready to talk to them. I knew it wasn't fair, I was causing them to worry, but I just couldn't bring myself to speak the words aloud yet.

"No mom. I don't want to talk. I'm fine," I murmured, scrubbing my hand over my face. My scruffy stubble felt rough against my palm and my eyes burned from lack of sleep. "I just...slammed it in my truck door on accident, that's all," I finished. My voice sounded mechanical and flat.

"Oh, honey," my mom sighed, shaking her head sadly at me. "You look exhausted. Why don't you just go up and go back to bed? Missing one day of school won't hurt."

I immediately shook my head. As much as I didn't want to go to school to face everyone's curious stares, the thought of spending another day at home, alone in my room with my thoughts was enough to make me shudder.

"No, mom. I'll be fine," I said, grabbing my backpack from the floor near the front door. I kissed her cheek and managed another weak smile at her as I headed out the door.

I almost cried when I climbed in the cab of my truck. Maybe it was my imagination, or possibly I was delirious from lack of sleep, but I swore my truck still smelled like her. I closed my eyes and gripped the steering wheel tightly with one hand before taking a shaky breath and cranking the ignition.

I squinted through my windshield at the sky as I drove through the streets of town, nearing the high school. It was one of those rare sunny days in Forks, the third in a row. I knew that even if she was still here, she and her family wouldn't be in school today. I sighed and pushed images of Bella in the sunlight out of my head. It hurt just to think her name.

I pulled into the parking lot and put my truck in park. I felt so alone. Up until last week, I had pulled into this parking lot alone every day since coming to Forks. But somehow this morning, being alone seemed so foreign and wrong I almost didn't get out of the truck.

I spotted Jasper loping toward me. I sucked a quick breath in through my nose and let it out with a puff of my cheeks. Grabbing my backpack, I hopped down from the cab.

"Hey. How was your weekend?" Jasper asked, grinning as he pounded the side of my truck. "Where's…." His smile fell as his eyes traveled to my face. I was grateful he decided against finishing his sentence. "You look like hell," he said simply.

I laughed in spite of myself. Jasper was never one to mince words. "I feel like hell," I said honestly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked me, raising his eyebrows.

I sighed, scrubbing a hand over my face. If I was honest with myself I really did. I wanted someone I could unload my grief on; someone who would understand. But when I opened my mouth to speak all that I could manage to get out was, "Bella's…gone."

Jasper's narrowed his eyes, and I knew he understood now why I looked as bad as I did. "Dude, that really sucks," he said, shaking his head. "Let me know if I can do anything, man."

"Yeah, no. It's…" I trailed off, scratching the back of my neck. I couldn't say it was fine because it wasn't, and I honestly didn't think it ever would be again.

Jasper caught sight of my bandaged hand. I groaned inwardly. Although I knew it was inevitable, I wasn't looking forward to the litany of questions I was sure to receive regarding my injury. I wasn't ashamed of the course of actions I had taken that led to my mangled hand. If given another opportunity, I would have done it all over again. It was one of the only things I had done with regards to Bella that I felt I could be proud of. I just hated the fact that it wasn't enough for her.

"What…" he began, and then he trailed off, apparently seeing my expression. He smirked slightly and shook his head. "Just let me know if you need anything, okay," he finished, rubbing his chin. I nodded, and we made our way to class.

The day passed agonizingly slowly. I managed to glare my way out of having to speak for most of the day. At lunch, I couldn't bear the thought of sitting at the table with Jasper and the others. I knew they all meant well, but I couldn't take their sympathetic looks. I spent the time in my car, waiting for the minutes to pass, and loathing when they did because it meant I was a minute closer to having to walk into the biology classroom.

Finally, the time of day I had been dreading for hours was here. I took a deep breath, ran my good hand through my hair, and stepped across the threshold into the classroom.

My heart clenched at the sight of the empty table. I knew this time it wasn't just that I had arrived first and she would be walking in the door any second. My legs almost gave out as I approached our table. How was I supposed to do this? How could she expect me to do this without her?

The hour passed slowly. I managed to get through it by concentrating on the speckled surface of the lab table. I had no idea what the topic of the lecture was. I wasn't even sure if a lecture was given. I jumped as the sound of the bell pulled me abruptly from my thoughts. I pulled my hand roughly through my hair again, frustrated with myself for where, or more precisely who, my thoughts had returned to.

I made my way through the hallways and out to my truck. My phone buzzed in my pocket as I approached my truck. I recognized my father's number as I flipped it open.

"Edward, why don't you come by the hospital on your way home so that I can take another look at your hand and schedule you for surgery?" he said brusquely.

"Okay, Dad. I'm leaving now, I'll be there soon," I sighed. There really was no point in putting it off any longer. I no longer had anything pressing keeping me from tending to my hand. Honestly, I was looking forward to getting it fixed. The sooner I took care of it, the sooner I could be rid of the bandages and the pain that were a constant reminder of her. I chuckled darkly to myself at the thought. As if I needed a physical reminder to draw my thoughts to her. They never left her.

At the hospital, Carlisle inspected my hand gingerly.

"Edward, we can't wait any longer to operate on your hand. I suspect some of the bones have already begun knitting themselves back together. I'm going to have my nurse set up the OR immediately. I don't have any other patients this afternoon." He eyed me with a look that dared me to argue.

"Okay." I nodded my head. I figured he had indulged me enough as it was. I wasn't willing to push him any further. Plus, I was eager for my hand to be well so that I could forget about it and everything it reminded me of each time it ached.

"And Edward," my father added, turning back to me as he left to arrange my surgery. "Afterwards, we will discuss what is going on with you."

I was left alone in the exam room as Carlisle made the necessary arrangements. Before long, I was lying on a gurney being wheeled towards one of Forks Hospital's two operating rooms.

I felt my eyelids growing heavy, both from sleep deprivation and from the medication that was entering my veins at a slow drip through the IV taped to my undamaged arm. My father's voice sounded hollow and seemed to be coming from a great distance, even though I could see his masked face each time I forced my thick lids open.

"Don't worry son, everything is going to be just fine," he said, patting my shoulder reassuringly then furrowing his brow in concern as I began to laugh. The sound of my laugh was foreign and dark.

"No it's not, dad. It's not going to ever be okay again," I chuckled, obviously on the verge of some sort of breakdown.

I appreciated his sentiment, but I knew, deep down, that it was not, nor would it ever be. She was gone from my life. I'd flown too close to the sun and had gotten burned, badly. She wasn't coming back. More than just my hand was broken. I would come out of the surgery, my hand would heal. But the gaping hole where my heart had once lived never would.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. You can follow me on Twitter. I'm KekahJ**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 18

"There he is! We didn't know if you were ever coming back!"

I rolled my eyes as Alice skipped towards me, her face lit up in a smile that took up half her face. I couldn't help grinning sheepishly at her enthusiasm as she bounced up on the balls of her feet, taking me by surprise when she wrapped her tiny arms around my shoulders and hugged me fiercely.

"We missed you, Edward," she whispered looking up at me. I was touched by the sincerity I saw in her dark eyes. I felt a lump in my throat, and all I could do was smile weakly at her and nod.

I approached the table and looked around at the group assembled there. Suddenly feeling self conscious, I gave a weak smile and a lame little wave to my friends. Alice beamed up at me as she returned to her seat in between Jasper and Rosalie. Emmett grinned and nodded as he held out his hand to shake mine. I smirked and held up my right hand which was encased in a nylon brace.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, forgot," Emmett said, dropping his eyes to the table.

"It's no big deal," I shrugged.

"How are you feeling, Edward?"

I tried to keep my jaw in place as I turned my head to Emmett's right. It was the most Rosalie had ever spoken to me.

"I'm doing fine, Rosalie. Thanks for asking," I said, recovering and nodding my head in her direction. Jasper, never one to miss an opportunity to harass his sister, picked up on the monumental occasion immediately.

"Well, well, well. Queen Rosalie has descended from her throne to address the masses. Amazing." He smirked at her as she grimaced and tossed a French fry at him. Laughing and ducking Rosalie's attempts at retaliation via food war, he turned his attention to me. "Glad you're back. How's the paw?" he asked, motioning to my still healing hand.

I shrugged, turning my wrist back and forth. It had been six weeks since the operation, and it was my first day back at school. I knew I had stayed home longer than necessary, but I couldn't bring myself to face normal life in the aftermath of her departure.

My parents had been worried. Esme had come into my room countless times, throwing the curtains back from the window to let the light in, begging me to eat. She had pleaded and even cried and finally, I had given in just to keep her from getting too worried.

After my surgery, my parents and I finally talked about the events of that fateful weekend, mostly because I was cornered and immobile and hopped up on pain killers and didn't have much of a choice. I told them about Bella's ex-boyfriend showing up and how I had punched him. I told them about how Bella had left with him. Of course, I left out the part about everyone involved except for me being sparkly vampires, but they got the general idea. I also left out the part about me being permanently damaged and broken beyond repair, but somehow I think they knew about that too.

They indulged me, letting me take much longer than the necessary recovery time for my hand. Never once did they push me into returning to school. I had made that decision on my own. I had decided this morning that I couldn't stand to look at the four walls of my bedroom for one more day. I had showered, dressed, and walked down the stairs.

My mother had stopped dead in her tracks, her jaw dropping open before she quickly closed it and smiled sweetly at me. "Hi, honey. How are you feeling?" she had asked. I had told her that I was ready to go back to school. She had rushed around helping me get my things together. It was late enough that I was going to miss the first few periods, but I'd make it for lunch and my afternoon classes. I was actually relieved that I wouldn't have to go back for a whole day. While I was feeling ready to get out of my room, I wasn't sure I was ready to completely submerge myself back into high school life just yet.

Even now, as I stood in the middle of the cafeteria, watching the people around me laugh and interact, I felt ill-prepared to deal with normal teenage life. I shoved my good hand into my pocket, sighed and sat down next to Jasper. The others resumed their conversations, and I was left alone with my thoughts. I tried for the thousandth time to take a deep breath. I felt like I hadn't been able to take a deep breath for over a month now. I knew it must have something to do with the gaping hole that was left in my chest where my heart used to be.

After a minute or two of my silent brooding, Jasper nudged me. I glanced over at him and gave him a small smile.

"How are you really doing?" he asked quietly enough that only I could hear him. He eyed me warily. Jasper had really been there for me throughout the course of my self-imposed exile. He had seen me at my worst; when I had refused to eat or even shower. He had listened to me ramble on about her, and he had sat with me in silence when I was too overwhelmed to even talk.

"I'm...okay. I don't know. It doesn't seem like it's getting easier, but I'm here today, so it must be." I sighed and shrugged. I felt stupid as I looked around the cafeteria. People in high school got together and broke up all the time, and they didn't nearly have nervous breakdowns. But this wasn't just a breakup. This wasn't just some high school crush or flame. I didn't know how to explain it, and I knew it sounded crazy, but I also knew that somehow Jasper got it.

The strange thing was I was grateful for the chance I'd had to have her in my life, however brief the time was. I knew that, given the opportunity, I would do it again in a heartbeat, even if it meant experiencing the pain of the past six weeks all over again.

Jasper nodded, apparently satisfied with my answer. That was the great thing about Jasper. He never pushed. He was willing to be whatever I needed.

My eyes continued to roam around the cafeteria. I braced myself and prepared to skip over one table in particular. I wasn't sure if they would be here or not, but I couldn't bear to look at them any more than I could bear to say or even think her name.

It turned out that it didn't matter that I had diligently avoided that particular area of the room, because, as my eyes continued their journey across the safe areas of the cafeteria, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the petite, curly-haired blonde girl, who resembled her enough to make my heart clench, walking deliberately towards me.

Frantically, I searched for something to occupy myself with. By the set of her jaw I knew it was too late to get up and walk away. She had a purpose, and she was headed straight for me. I worked to control my breathing as she approached our table. Jasper and the rest of the group stopped talking mid sentence at her approach. The tension was palpable.

"Hello, Edward. I was wondering if I might be able to speak to you in private for a moment," she said in a quiet musical voice that made me feel like someone had stomped on my chest. Without speaking, I nodded, stood up, and followed her out of the cafeteria. I glanced back and gave an apologetic shrug to Jasper as we left. I didn't plan on being gone very long.

We walked out through the school's double doors and down to the edge of the parking lot. She stopped abruptly and spun on her heels to face me.

"How much longer are you going to wait?" she asked, eyes flashing.

Perplexed by her question, I furrowed my brow. "Wait for what?" I asked, scratching my head.

"How long are you going to wait before you decide to go after Bella?" Jessica blurted in what was clearly an exasperated voice. I flinched visibly at the mention of her name, and I had to make a conscious effort to breath.

"I don't know what you mean… I…she's gone. She made her choice." I dropped my head and mumbled the last part. Jessica huffed out an impatient breath.

"Edward, did you even read the letter she left you?"

Again, I furrowed my brow for a moment. I had completely forgotten about the envelope that Jessica had handed me on that awful day. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

"What's the point, Jessica? Clearly…" I couldn't bring myself to say her name. "She's made her choice. I don't want to hear anything that she had to say about why. I already know why." I ran my hand through my hair. This conversation was painful and unnecessary and I ground my teeth in frustration. I didn't plan on getting over her or even moving on with my life. But I knew I wouldn't even be able to just survive if I kept running into Jessica and her constant reminders of the gaping hole in my life.

Jessica raised her eyebrows. "Edward, why do _you_ think Bella left?"

I flinched again at the sound of her name and dropped my head. "Don't make me say it," I whispered, dropping down to sit on the curb, resisting the urge to put my head in my hands. Instead, I took a deep breath and looked up at the girl standing with her hand on her hip in front of me. When it was obvious that she wasn't going to let the matter drop, I sighed and said quietly, "She left because I wasn't enough for her. I'm too weak and...human." I couldn't meet her gaze, the weight of my inadequacy and guilt pushing down on me so heavy; I wanted to curl up right there on the sidewalk.

Although I couldn't meet Jessica's gaze, I heard what was clearly an impatient sigh. "Edward, that is ridiculous. Bella loved you. I mean, she loves you. She didn't think of you as being weak, and she loved the fact that you are human," Jessica said, sitting down daintily next to me. I shook my head and pressed my fingertips to my temples.

"Jessica, no offense, but you don't have any idea what you're talking about." I knew she didn't mean them to be, but Jessica's words were painful and cut deep because they were so untrue.

Next to me, Jessica gave off an exaggerated sigh which caused her small shoulders to lift up and down dramatically. Suddenly, she hopped up and I felt myself being pulled to my feet by the wrist.

"Jessica, wha-" I started but was interrupted when she wheeled around to face me, poking me in the chest. "Ow!" I said, rubbing the spot where she had poked me.

"Where is it? I'm assuming it's still in your truck then, right?" she asked, her eyes frenetic. She was clearly on the brink of exasperation. She didn't wait for my slow human mind to catch up with her lightning quick train of thought as she began dragging me by the arm towards my truck. She wrenched the door open and began digging through the cab frantically.

"When is the last time you cleaned out your truck? Where could it…Eww. What is that? Oh, wait. Is this it? Yes, I think so." Jessica emerged from the cab of my truck, a triumphant grin on her face as she patted down her blonde curls. In her hand she held the envelope that I had taken from her over six weeks ago. I had completely forgotten about its existence.

She held the envelope out to me and rolled her eyes when my arms remained at my side. "Read it," she said.

With a shaking hand, I took the envelope from her. I really did not want to know what was inside, but I didn't think Jessica was going to let me get away a second time without reading it. Especially not when she had braved the interior of my truck's cluttered cab to retrieve it.

I sighed and ran my finger under the edge of the envelope, tearing it open. As the paper unfolded I caught the faintest whiff of Bella's scent, and it nearly sent me over the edge. I took a deep breath, and leaned against the side of my truck for support. Taking one last deep breath to steady myself, I spread the letter open and read.

Jessica hovered around me, pacing back and forth as I read. I finished reading, took a deep breath and started over. Jessica noticed, sighed, and snatched the letter out of my hands.

"Hey!" I shouted, trying in vain to get it back.

"Oh come on, you were done, Edward. I want to read it," Jessica said distractedly as her eyes darted across the page. As she reached the end a smile spread across her face.

"Yes! I knew it! Let's go!" she cried, pumping her small fist in the air. She grabbed my arm and began pulling me toward her car.

I knew better than to fight against the small, yet deceptively powerful vampire by my side. Plus, as I began to process the words of the letter, I knew that I would go anywhere and do anything for the author of those words. For the first time in almost two months, I was dangerously close to hoping.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 19

"Okay, so where exactly are we going?" I asked, glancing nervously at the road. Jessica was driving so fast even the houses, which were spaced fairly far apart, were fuzzy blurs as they sped by. She looked over at me and rolled her eyes. I felt my stomach clench as she took her eyes off the road yet again. "Um, can you watch the road?" I said, pointing a shaky finger in the direction of the road to remind her where she should be focusing her attention.

"Didn't you ever ride with Bella, Edward?" she asked, smiling. I was distracted, both by her question and by the mention of Bella's name.

"What? I..." I thought for a moment. "No, I guess not. Why?" I asked, glancing over at her. She laughed her musical laugh and shook her head at me.

"She must love you if she let you drive all the time," she chuckled, "This is how we drive," she said, using one hand to motion to herself and the steering wheel. "Fast."

I scrunched my eyes closed and groaned. "Okay, whatever. Just...don't kill us...or, well...me anyway. Ugh." I shook my head, frustrated that she had distracted me from my question. I had eagerly gotten into Jessica's little white BMW in the school parking lot, but now, as we sped along on our way to who knows where, I was beginning to doubt my choice.

In the parking lot, the words of the letter were new and crisp. They through my head, encouraging me, spurring me into action; even making me hope.

_Please know that I love you more than words can express. You are the sun in my endless midnight of an existence. Before I met you, I didn't know what it was to love someone, or to be loved in return. Your haunting green eyes and your perfectly crooked smile are all I seem to think about anymore._

But now, the words were faded, like old ink, and I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"So what is your plan, Jessica?" I asked, revising my earlier question.

"We're going to the airport," she said smugly with a smile.

"What? The airport? Why...I don't..." I stammered, sitting up straighter in my seat and looking at the tiny vampire with the devious grin on her face. At my words, she looked over at me and rolled her eyes again.

"Edward, do you want to get my sister back, or not?" she asked with what was clearly an annoyed huff. There was no hesitancy in my answer.

"Yes. I'll do anything," I said quietly.

"Okay then. Here's the plan. We're going to go to the airport, get on a plane, and go get her," she said in a tone that made me feel like the plan should be obvious, even to a slow human like me. I decided against arguing or questioning her any further for the time being. Instead, I threw up my hands in surrender.

"Alright, Jess, but I need to call my parents since I'm obviously not going to be home for dinner."

I fished my phone out of my pocket and I paused before dialing.

"What am I going to tell them?" I asked, panicking at the thought of explaining my sudden disappearance to my parents. I pushed the panic down quickly though, as I realized that it didn't really matter what Carlisle and Esme said or thought. Nothing would stop me from getting to Bella. I quickly dialed the number.

"Mom, it's me," I said hurriedly as Esme answered.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked, and I could hear the concern in her voice.

"Nothing's wrong, mom, but I need you to listen and keep an open mind, okay?" I said, crossing my fingers and silently praying that she wouldn't have a fit. Even though it wouldn't stop me, my parents sending law enforcement after me would definitely hinder my progress a bit. I took my mom's silence as license to continue.

"Jessica and I are going to find Bella," I stated simply, deciding at the last second to just tell the truth. My stomach clenched as I said the words. It was the first time I had said her name in weeks. I took a deep breath and waited.

"Oh, Edward," she said, softly, the sad note unmistakable in her voice. "You're only going to end up hurting yourself more, sweetie."

My nostrils flared at her words. I didn't blame her. Hell, there was a good chance that she was right. But I knew, after reading Bella's words that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try.

"Mom, you may be right, but I have to try. Please understand," I pleaded quietly. I could hear the determination in my own voice, and I hoped that she could feel it too.

"Where are you going then, Edward," she asked, sighing. I smiled at the small victory of her acceptance of my plans. I knew once I had my mom on my side, she would be able to take care of my father.

"Um..." I glanced over at Jessica. She beamed, clearly overhearing both ends of the conversation with her sensitive hearing. "I'm not sure, but Jessica is with me. She knows where to find her." I raised my eyebrows at her, looking for her to confirm my words, and she bobbed her head up and down enthusiastically. "I'll call you when I know more about what the plan is, Mom."

After a few more reassurances and promises to call soon, Esme wished me luck and we disconnected. I should have felt more optimistic. While I had not managed to convince my mother that it was a good idea to go chasing after the girl that was consuming my every thought, I had at least managed to keep her from calling the authorities to drag me back home. That should have made me feel good. But instead, I felt a sudden spike of nerves. I thought back to the words of Bella's letter.

_I cannot stay with you. I don't know how to make you understand all of the reasons why, but it has recently become clear to me that it would be impossible for us to continue our relationship._

"So, do you really think this is a good idea?" I asked quietly, staring out the window at the streaks of green that went by.

"Absolutely," Jessica said quickly.

I knew I should have been encouraged by her confidence, but I still couldn't shake the feelings of self doubt that plagued me. I had read Bella's words. They were beautiful words that made my heart swell with hope, but the fact remained that Bella and I were very different. She was remarkable and perfect and I was human and unremarkable and flawed. I knew I wasn't the only one who saw our marked differences. They were enough to make Bella leave. Jessica, sensing my hesitation, began speaking quietly in the swiftly moving car.

"Edward, I know what you think. You think that you're weak, and vulnerable, and that because of those things Bella doesn't see you as her equal."

I closed my eyes as her words sliced right through to the core of me.

She continued. "You think that she looks at you and sees all of the things that make you human, and you wonder why she could ever want to be with someone like that."

It was like she had been inside my head these past few weeks. She was laying all of my insecurities out on the table. I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a shaky breath. Seeing my obvious distress at her words, she looked over at me.

"Let me finish, Edward," she said softly. "My sister didn't say anything to me when she left, but she's been my sister for a very long time now. I know her almost as well as I know myself, and I have a theory on why she left you." She paused, and I had to admit I was curious about her theory, even if I felt like I already knew the truth. I remained silent so that she would continue. "You know about her shield, right?"

"Yes, I know that she can't keep me out." Despite my mood, I couldn't help the small smile that spread across my face at the memory of her frustration and my delight at her inability to use her shield against me.

"Did you also know that she can't include you in her shield?" Jessica asked quietly. I furrowed my brow. Memories from that day in the meadow began filtering in, and I thought back to what she had said. It was a little fuzzy; I had been so upset about the unwelcome interruption to our perfect day.

"I remember her mentioning something about it when James showed up, but I wasn't really sure what she meant. Plus, I was so keyed up about him appearing, I wasn't paying very close attention anyway," I said, tapping the arm rest on the door with my splinted hand.

"Well, Bella is used to being able to use her shield to protect those she cares about. She takes her role as family protector very seriously." Jessica smirked before shaking her head. "Don't get me wrong, we are all very grateful for her shield, but she relies on it too much."

I furrowed my brow, trying to follow her train of thought. I was getting used to being left in the mental dust around the Swan family.

"After Bella left with James that day, I started thinking about her shield. I have a theory, and that theory has only been strengthened by what I read in Bella's letter to you." As she spoke she nodded to my backpack where Bella's letter was nestled amongst my school books. "I think that Bella left not because you are too human for her, but because she is scared that she's not going to be able to protect you." she finished, glancing over at me with a confident nod.

I contemplated her words silently for a long time. Before long, we were pulling into the small airport parking lot in Port Angeles. Jessica slid her BMW into a parking space, hopped out, and began moving towards the tiny airport's one and only terminal at a clipped pace. I grabbed my backpack, and hurried to catch up with her.

As we approached the ticket counter, I realized that not only did I not know our destination; I didn't have any money on me to pay for my ticket. I absentmindedly patted my pockets, as if the money I needed for my ticket was going to magically appear in one of them. Embarrassed, I looked over at Jessica apologetically. She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

"Oh Edward, please," she scoffed before turning her attention to the ticket agent. "Two tickets to Seattle, please," she said, plopping a shiny black credit card down on the counter. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Bella's in Seattle?" I asked skeptically. Jessica gave me her increasingly familiar eye roll and characteristic huff.

"No, silly. But Port Angeles doesn't have too many direct flights. This is just the first leg of our little trip."

Our flight was departing in an hour, so we sat down to wait in the waiting room. While we waited, I wandered over to the vending machines and bought a bag of chips. Jessica turned her nose up at me when I offered to share. She did her eye roll huffing thing and pulled her phone out to call Michael.

She explained to him all the events of the afternoon, and ended the call reassuring him that she'd call when we landed. My heart clenched at the affection in her voice and the obvious confidence she had in his love for her. My chips suddenly tasted like sawdust and felt like a lump sitting in the pit of my stomach. I threw the bag away half full.

_You are human, your emotions and feelings will fade over time. You will move on and find someone who is your equal. Your memories of me will dissipate and the pain that you will feel upon reading these words will soon be a distant memory._

The flight to Seattle was short; I barely had a chance to nod off as the sun was setting outside the window of the tiny plane. We touched down in Seattle, and Jessica nudged me awake. We made our way out of the plane, and I followed Jessica through the airport. I raised my eyebrows at her when we approached the international counter. While we were waiting in line she fished her black credit card out of her bag, along with two passports, one of which turned out to be mine.

"How did you-" I started before she quickly cut me off.

"I figured it might come in handy, so I paid a visit to your house this morning." She shrugged.

"How did you convince Esme to give you my passport?" I asked wonderingly. She looked at me and grinned.

"I didn't say I used the front door. Your mom didn't exactly...know I was there..." she finished sheepishly, suddenly very interested in her feet. I shook my head at her, but remained silent. Soon, it was our turn in line. I waited as expectantly as the ticket agent to hear our destination.

"Two tickets to Paris," she said, her blonde curls bouncing as she tossed them over her shoulder.

"France?" I questioned as we sat down to wait for our boarding call.

"I have a hunch," Jessica said, taking a magazine out of her purse. I looked at her questioningly. "I'll explain on the plane. We'll have plenty of time to kill," she said, looking at her watch.

I sat back and crossed my ankle over my knee. I began bouncing my foot up and down nervously. I hadn't thought about the fact that we might be going overseas to find her. I doubted Esme would have been as calm about the whole situation had she known I would be putting my passport to good use. I wondered what the chances were that we could make a transatlantic trip without her or my father ever knowing.

Before long, the flight attendant called our flight number, and we boarded the plane. I groaned when I realized Jessica had bought first class seats.

"How am I ever going to pay you back for this, Jess?" I hissed as we settled into our oversized and very comfortable seats. She looked at me questioningly.

"For what?"

I narrowed my eyes at her and motioned around me. "This!"

She laughed and rolled her eyes at me yet again.

"You're not. Don't be ridiculous. I want my sister back just as much as you do. You're doing me a favor. She would never listen to me, but I am counting on her listening to you."

Great; like I needed her to add pressure to this already stressful situation. I had no idea what we were going to find when we reached Paris. But, I had a whole nine hour plane ride to conjure up all sorts of cozy scenes involving Bella and James. Jessica was so sure about why Bella had left, but what if she had failed to take James into account?

…_it has recently become clear to me that it would be impossible for us to continue our relationship…_

She didn't say it outright, but there was a part of me that knew that James was part of the reason for Bella's sudden epiphany. As we lifted off, I decided to voice some of my concerns to her.

"Okay, so I've been thinking about your theory; and I'm afraid you've failed to take one thing into consideration: James," I whispered.

"Oh Edward," she said, a sympathetic and patronizing smile on her face, "Don't worry. We won't let James hurt you." She patted my arm reassuringly. I narrowed my eyes at her and flared my nostrils.

"What? No! I'm not afraid of James," I hissed loudly, "I meant that you forgot to account for Bella's feelings for James."

Jessica's responding laugh was so loud several people in the surrounding rows turned to look at the petite blonde at my side.

"What's so funny?" I asked, feeling the heat creep up my neck. She knew how insecure I felt when it came to James. I couldn't believe she was laughing at me.

"Bella's feelings for James? Edward, Bella's feelings for James can be compared to her feelings for pond scum." She chuckled, quieter this time.

"What do you mean? She left with James," I said, scratching my chin in confusion. The stubble there was getting longer since I had gone several days without shaving. It was beginning to be annoying.

"Oh, honey. You still don't get it do you?" Jessica said, giving me a sad and sympathetic look. I flared up again at her insinuation that I was somehow slow, even for a human.

Taking in my suddenly stiff posture, she hurried to attempt to soothe me.

"I don't mean any offense by that. It's just that you are still so naïve sometimes." She wasn't doing a very good job of soothing me. She continued on quickly. "I think Bella saw James as a means to an end. I can't imagine she would have had anything to do with him once she left. His main leverage over her was threatening to harm you."

I furrowed my brow and thought about her words. I thought back to Bella's letter to me. I thought about her decision to leave. In all the times that I had pictured Bella since she left, I had always pictured her with James. Did I dare hope now that she wasn't with the vampire that had ruined my entire life in one afternoon?

_If I could sleep, my nights would be spent dreaming of you. Your touch ignites my frigid skin, and I feel that my dead heart may begin to beat under your fingertips. You are kind and gentle, and you see me as more than I am. You are funny and straightforward. No matter how hard I try, you see past my pretenses and the defensive walls I have built around myself._

As I silently mused over the new possibilities that were arising as a result of my conversations with Jessica, I felt my eyelids growing heavy. I wanted to stay awake to talk to Jessica more about why she suspected Bella was in Paris, but after a few minutes I couldn't fight it any longer. I sunk down deeper into the comfortable first class seats and drifted quickly off to sleep. My dreams were conflicted and abstract.

"Edward..." Jessica's voice was soft in my ear. "We're here." She was nudging my shoulder. It felt a little like being nudged by a miniature boulder.

I sat up quickly as the realization of where I was and what that meant dawned on me. I shook the sleep out of my head and pressed the heel of my hand into my eye, suppressing a yawn. I looked around. The plane was no longer moving, which meant that we had already landed. The other passengers were beginning to move about the cabin, gathering up their belongings in preparation of disembarking from the plane.

I stood, stretched, and slung my backpack over my shoulder. I followed Jessica off the plane. As we walked through the airport, I ran a hand through my hair and wished I had gotten a chance to grab a spare change of clothes and my toothbrush. My mouth felt furry from sleep, and my clothing was disheveled and wrinkled from the long plane ride.

Jessica stopped suddenly. Distracted by my own thoughts I almost ran into the back of her solid form. She turned towards me and began digging in her bag.

"Here. I figured these might also come in handy, so I grabbed them this morning, since I was there, and all. Go change and freshen up," she ordered, handing me a small pile of my own clean clothes with my toothbrush and shaving kit on top.

I beamed down at her and leaned in to peck her on the forehead quickly.

"You're a saint, Jess!" I said, taking the bundle from her hand. "I'll be right back."

In the bathroom, I brushed my teeth, changed my clothes, and washed my face. I opted not to shave since I was anxious to reach our destination, even though the stubble on my face was really starting to bother me. There would be time for shaving...later. I noted, with some amazement, how much more positive and upbeat a simple thing like a change of clothes and a clean mouth made me.

I walked out of the bathroom, and laughed as I took in Jessica's appearance. Apparently while I was freshening up, she had taken the opportunity to change as well. She was now wearing a long sleeved blouse, a big floppy hat, and sunglasses.

I smirked at her, "What's with the get up? Are you on the lamb?"

Although I couldn't see her eyes behind her dark glasses, I could feel her eyes rolling as she sighed. She pointed to herself.

"Remember…sparkly vampire…human disco ball…" she said as she took my old clothing from me and stored it in her bag. I looked around, puzzled, trying to find a window. When we had boarded the plane the sun was setting. I was feeling very disoriented all of a sudden. Sensing my confusion, Jessica explained.

She spoke slowly and emphasized each syllable. "Because of the time difference it's about nine in the morning here."

From the airport we took a taxi. I was taken back for a moment to hear Jessica rattling on to the cab driver in flawless French, but then I remembered who I was dealing with and just shook my head. I wondered if Bella spoke French. I suspected she did since she was apparently living in Paris.

I looked out the window, squinting in the morning sun, as the taxi driver wound through the confounding maze of crooked and curving streets. I had no idea where we were or where we were headed, but Jessica seemed confident, so I wasn't worried.

Finally, after weaving through a neighborhood full of old houses and tiny cottages, we stopped in front of a particularly ancient looking tiny stone cottage. I stared at its façade. The stone was grey and faded and pocked with age. It had a tiny rounded wooden door and a curtained window on each side. The bottom of each window held a flower box from which brightly colored flowers overflowed. There was a huge drooping tree which cast a shadow on most of the house, and an overgrown stone path led from the gate to the cottage's crumbling porch. Jessica paid the taxi driver, and he sped off, leaving us gazing at the cottage's postage stamp sized front garden.

"This is where Bella and Renee and I lived together years ago when we first came to Paris." Jessica said quietly, a wistful smile on her face as she gazed at the old cottage. "She's here. I can hear her inside. She knows we're here too," she said finally, lifting the latch on the old rusty gate. I felt my stomach clench in sudden nerves and downright fear.

Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I should be here. She had made her choice. She had left. What business did I have to chase her down half way around the world? I opened my mouth to speak, but a movement from the little round door caused the words die on my lips.

Slowly, the door swung open. As if in slow motion, she stepped out the door. She looked first at her sister, and then her eyes found mine. I felt my breath catch as I saw her. She was somehow even more breathtaking than I remembered. She stood in the shadow of the huge tree but the sunlight filtered down through its branches and glinted off her hair, turning it into a brilliant coppery auburn color. Her skin was pale, and her golden eyes and full perfect lips stood out even more than I remembered. I drank in the sight of her, and it was as though I couldn't get enough. I stood taking in the achingly perfect features that had been in my dreams and thoughts almost every moment of her absence.

Suddenly, being here felt so completely right. There was no where else in the world that I could possibly be at this moment than here with her. The gaping hole that had been in my chest was suddenly filled. I felt my heart beating in my chest for the first time in over six weeks. I took a deep breath and rejoiced at the sweet oxygen that filled my lungs completely for the first time in almost two months.

"Edward..." she breathed.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 20

I probably should have waited. I should have taken time to assess the situation. I probably should have let her come to me. I should have played it cool and pretended like my world had not just slid back into focus after being fuzzy and blurry for weeks.

I should have done all those things. What I did instead was throw down my backpack at Jessica's feet and run like a madman toward the girl I loved.

I wasn't sure what her reaction to my impulsive actions would be. As I ran towards her it seemed like time slowed down, and I was moving through water. I couldn't get to her fast enough. I heard Jessica chuckle from somewhere behind me, but I couldn't focus on the sound.

The only thing I was aware of was her. I saw her golden eyes grow wide as she watched my approach. I saw her mouth open in a little 'o' as I leapt over the gate and made a beeline toward the front porch where her hand was still resting on the doorknob. Finally, I reached her. Without hesitating, I reached out and wrapped my arms around her tiny shoulders. She fit perfectly in my arms and I uttered a low guttural moan as I was enveloped in her heady scent, and I knew I was home.

She was a cool stone statue in my arms and I was suddenly filled once again with self-doubt about my reckless behavior. She had left me. She had chosen to live without me. She didn't feel the same way I felt about her anymore. It didn't matter that I felt whole for the first time in weeks, or that everything in my world suddenly felt right again now that I was holding her. She was stiff and still, and it was obvious she didn't want to be in my arms. I felt the blood rushing in my ears and heat creeping up my neck. I was getting ready to drop my arms and back away from her in embarrassment when I felt her move. My heart began to beat again as I both felt and heard her soft little moan against my chest.

"Oh, Edward," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around my waist, "You came for me."

I grinned down at her as I ran my hands up and down her back and through her hair. It was like I was trying to make up for lost time. I had endured over six week without her presence and now I couldn't get enough of her scent and the way she felt beneath my fingertips.

Soon, the reality of our situation dawned on me, and, as much as it pained me to do so, I pulled her away slightly. As overjoyed as I was to see her, and even better to feel her, I knew that we had a great deal to discuss before I could truly let myself enjoy being with her again.

"We need to talk," I said quietly, gazing down at her stunning face. She ducked her head and nodded. Reluctantly, I dropped my arms to my sides, and she stepped around me to greet Jessica who had made her way up the stone path towards us.

"Well, I'll be inside. You two need to go work some things out," Jessica said with raised eyebrows after embracing her sister warmly. She grabbed Bella's shoulders and spun her toward me. Soon, I felt the tiny vampire's hand on my shoulder as she pushed the two of us down a stone path that wrapped around the side of the cottage. Bella and I chuckled and looked at each other sheepishly before we began to follow the path around to the back of the small cottage.

The back garden was mossy and overgrown, but matched the tiny quaint cottage perfectly. In the back corner, there was a small pond that was bordered by dark colored rocks that looked slippery and wet. There was a huge drooping tree whose branches hung so low a few of them were dipping into the pond. At the foot of the massive tree sat a little stone bench. Bella led me over to it, and I watched as she perched delicately on its edge.

I stared into the murky depths of the pond, my stomach lurching and churning. I had wanted nothing more than to see Bella for the past six weeks, and now that I was finally with her again, I suddenly wasn't sure what to say. I felt better just being in her presence, but I wasn't sure where to start. I was a little afraid of the answers that awaited me.

I felt the turmoil rage inside me. On the one hand, I wanted to believe the words in Bella's letter. I wanted to trust Jessica's opinion of the situation. I wanted to sit in the perfect French garden with the perfect girl by my side and pretend that nothing was wrong. I wanted to pretend that the past six weeks hadn't happened. I wanted nothing more than to feel her in my arms, to hold her and kiss her until I was dizzy.

On the other hand, the doubts were raging inside me. The fact was that Bella had left me. Despite the words in Bella's letter and Jessica's reassurances, I couldn't stop the self doubts and insecurities from running through my head on a never ending loop in the silence of the tiny garden. I was human and weak and nothing special compared to the fantastic creature beside me. Part of me knew that I could never match her and never be worthy of her affection, let alone her love or devotion.

The silence stretched out before us. High in the branches of the ancient tree birds chirped cheerfully. I couldn't quite bring myself to match their mood. Finally, I sat down heavily on the other end of the bench.

Bella uttered a tiny delicate sigh. "Edward, I'm so sorry." Her voice sounded small and timid, and the sound of it made my heart clench. I smiled down at her. I didn't want her to ever feel any pain, especially not because of me.

"You don't have to apologize, Bella. You can't help the way that you feel." I gave her a small smile in an attempt to take away some of the ache that she was obviously feeling. She gave me a confused look for a moment before continuing.

"No, I do need to apologize. I should have at least talked to you in person before I left."

"I would have done everything I could to talk you into staying," I said quietly, watching as a tiny frog hopped from a slick stone into the muddy water. It disappeared, leaving only ripples across the surface of the dark water in its wake.

"I know. I think that's part of why I didn't," Bella said.

The window of opportunity for me to make it out of this situation with my dignity even partly intact was quickly closing. But, I hadn't come all this way to not lay it all on the line. I took a deep breath, and then looked her in the eyes. As much as I loved seeing her, I had to know the truth.

"Bella, I need to know why you left. Please, just be honest with me. Don't worry about sparing my feelings. I just need to know..." I faded off, looking down into the pond again. Next to me, I felt Bella take a deep breath as well, as if steeling herself to give me the bad news. My heart clenched. I knew I needed to know the truth, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to survive it. My heart and my chest were feeling so whole right now, but I knew as soon as I left her again the gaping hole would return, along with the inability to properly breathe. Could I survive her rejection a second time?

"Okay. You're right. You deserve the truth. All of it," she nodded, more to herself than anything, before continuing, "Edward, you don't deserve me."

I flinched visibly at her words. Her confirmation of my unspoken fears caused me physical pain. I knew it was true, and I did ask for the truth. She furrowed her brow in confusion for a moment before shaking her head.

"No, that's not how I meant it…" she sighed and pressed her fingers to her temples in obvious frustration. "I meant that you deserve much more than me."

Now it was my turn to give her a confused look. Didn't she know? How could she not?

"Bella, there is nothing more than you," I said simply, my voice passionate and intense. I knew my honestly would cost me when she was gone again, but I couldn't worry about that now. If she was being honest, then so would I. "You are my everything; As far as I am concerned, the sun rises and sets on you."

She looked up at me then, and locked eyes with me. "You can't mean that, Edward," she said softly, gazing into my eyes, as if she were trying to find the hidden meaning behind my words.

"I do, Bella. But please, I understand if you don't feel the same way. I mean, I know in your letter you said you did, but then…things changed. I know that when James came you realized that I wasn't enough. Please don't feel guilty. I came here to find out the truth, and once I do I'll...leave you alone. You don't owe me anything," I said, breaking her gaze to watch a dragonfly take flight from the pond's glassy surface.

"Oh, Edward. Don't you see? I feel exactly the same way," she said, her voice low and tortured. She looked at me tentatively and then reached up to stroke my cheek with her tiny hand.

I nearly cried out when I felt the electricity of her touch again. It had been six weeks, and there had been a part of me that had believed I would never feel it again. I leaned unconsciously into her hand. As I sat there, eyes closed, a small smile playing upon my lips, her words hit me. My eyes flew open.

"What? What do you mean you feel the same way?" I asked, looking at her in confusion. "But you...left," I said, trying hard to keep the accusatory tone out of my voice.

She ducked her head and nodded.

"I did, but, Edward, I did it for your own good."

"Explain please," I said simply, looking at her expectantly.

"Edward, my world is a dangerous place. The only thing that James did was serve as a reminder of that. You should never have been exposed to any of that horrible mess. It's my fault that you came away injured." She motioned to my braced hand. "It's a wonder you weren't harmed more seriously. I can't protect you." Her last words were a whisper and she dropped her head in what was clearly shame and embarrassment. I thought back to Jessica's words on the plane and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

My sudden excitement and near jubilation were obvious in my voice when I spoke. "So that's it?" I asked. She gave me a look that clearly said she was questioning my mental stability.

"What do you mean, that's it?" she asked, chewing on her bottom lip in that way I had missed so much. I shook my head, trying not to let the sight of the familiar gesture distract me.

"Jessica was right!" I cried, triumphantly. "You do love me!"

Bella blinked and then sighed in exasperation.

"Yes, of course I love you, Edward. I love you more than anything, but that's not the point."

I slapped my leg with my good hand and jumped up off the bench, feeling happy and excited and downright giddy.

"Then what is the point, Bella?" I asked, grinning; confident in my new found discovery.

"It doesn't matter if I love you, Edward. We can't be together. My world is too dangerous for you, and I can't protect you. My shield doesn't work on you." She said these last words as if she were admitting to some terrible secret instead of giving me the words that were my salvation. I shook my head at her.

"Bella, I don't care about any of that other crap. I don't need you to protect me," I said, waving my hands dismissively. "That's all just details and obstacles that are trying to get in our way. The important thing is we love each other, and somehow, in this crazy world we have managed to find each other. I don't care what you say, now that I know how you feel, I am not going to ever let you go." I knelt down in the spongy dirt at her feet so that we were eye level. I stared straight into her eyes, willing her to see the intensity there and the truth behind my words.

She returned my stare for a moment. Finally she looked away, shook her head and sighed.

"You don't know what you're saying, Edward," she said, her tone sad.

I pursed my lips at her and let out a loud sigh. I sat back on my heels and looked around the small yard. The lawn beneath my knees was springy and slightly wet and I could feel the moisture seeping through my jeans.

"Bella, do you love me?" I asked again, locking her in my gaze. Without looking away, and without hesitating, she nodded. "Do you believe that I love you?" I whispered. Again she nodded solemnly. "Then what else is there?" I ended in a whisper.

I smiled lightly at her, and her answering smile, while reluctant at first, was bright and dazzling, and I could tell that I had won her over. My heart soared as I realized she did feel the same way. Her actions were fueled by fear and a feeling of helplessness, not boredom or dissatisfaction. I knew what she said about the danger in her world was true. But amazingly, I couldn't bring myself to care. I didn't know how, but somehow I knew that as long as we were together, everything would work out.

Unable to wait any longer, I sat up and leaned in towards her. I smiled as she began to lean in toward me too. Moments later, our lips met and I felt the blood broil beneath my lips at her touch. I groaned deep within my chest, and she sighed, reaching her hand up and weaving her small cool fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. I felt goose pimples rise beneath her fingers. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, pulling her close to me so that her body was flush with mine and she had a knee on either side of my torso. When I could no longer go without oxygen, I pulled away slightly, her cool breath washing over my face as she placed her palms on either side of my face.

Suddenly, all the misgivings and uncertainties I had been wrestling with over the past six weeks were gone. I knew that Bella spoke the truth. She had left because she wanted to protect me. She was only worried about my safety. It wasn't that she didn't love me. Impossibly, it wasn't that she thought I wasn't good enough for her, even though I knew I never would be. It didn't matter what I thought of me, I felt strong in my new conviction that Bella loved me. She loved me, and I was whole again. She was by my side again, and I knew I would never let her go.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 21

"Yeah, Dad, we should be home this afternoon," I said wearily into the phone. I looked at Bella and rolled my eyes. She smirked at me and mouthed "_Be good_."

"Okay. Yes, sir. I know. You're right. It was irresponsible of me. Yes. Okay. Bye."

I ended the call and puffed my cheeks out before blowing air slowly out of my mouth. It turned out Esme had not done as good of a job as I had hoped convincing my father that my impromptu search and recovery mission had been a good idea. He was furious.

I had managed to keep our location a secret, using Jessica's cell phone to call him, since my own was not in service here in France. While I hadn't outright lied, I had bent the truth pretty severely.

Despite my father's obvious anger, and the possibility that I would be grounded until I was thirty-five, I couldn't bring myself to be concerned as I set the phone down on the worn and faded table, and began stalking towards Bella.

Of course, she noticed the look in my eye immediately, and though she could have easily gotten away from me, she instead chose to look up at me coyly through her dark eyelashes as she backed slowly away from me.

"There is a definite possibility that I will not be leaving my room until I graduate from college," I said.

She slowed her retreat and I drew closer to her. She giggled at my words.

"Will you come visit me, Bella?" I asked my tone low and challenging as I continued to move toward her. She stopped moving and I lunged towards her, catching her around the waist and lifting her up. She pressed her palms lightly against my shoulders, and shrieked as I buried my head in the crook of her neck and began planting tiny kisses up and down her collar bone and her throat.

She pulled away slightly and looked down at me. "Hmmm," she said, pretending to consider her answer. "I actually am pretty partial to your room. Maybe I'll never leave."

Both my smile and my breath caught at her words. Her smile faded at my expression and she looked at me, her golden ochre eyes burning with intensity.

"Promise?" I growled at her, pressing my hands into her hips to pull her closer to me. I heard her breath catch as it became clear to us both that we were no longer just talking about my room. She eagerly nodded.

"Promise," she breathed, her voice a whisper in my ear.

"Oh, Bella…" I groaned, placing my hands on either side of her face and pulling her lips to mine. She wrapped her legs around my waist tightly and I groaned at the sensation. I felt her tiny arms snake around my neck and into my hair. She gasped and her cool breath was sweet and wonderful.

After who knows how long, we were brought back down to earth by the sound of an impatiently tapping foot behind us. Bella pulled away from my lips, and we grinned at each other for a moment before I set her gently back down on her feet.

I felt the familiar embarrassed heat rise up my neck and spread over my face as I turned sheepishly to look at where Jessica was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, a devious smile on her lips.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Told you," she said smugly.

I rolled my eyes at her. But I couldn't bring myself to be annoyed with her interruption. After all, she had been right, and I couldn't have been more grateful to her for pushing me to overcome my insecurities and go after Bella.

Instead, I grinned at her and shook my head. "I know, I know. You were right. Thanks, Jess."

Bella looked back and forth between us in confusion for a moment. I turned to her and quickly explained.

"Jessica is the one who really convinced me to come here to get you. Obviously she's the one who knew where to find you." Bella turned to her sister, the grateful look of admiration evident on her face.

"Yes, Jessica. Thanks for not letting my own stubbornness and stupidity stand in your way," Bella said, smirking at her sister affectionately.

"So, does that mean that you've decided to come back?" Jessica asked her sister, her blonde curls bouncing up and down excitedly. Bella smiled and nodded enthusiastically. Jessica clapped her hands together excitedly for a moment before throwing her arms around her sister. The two girls hugged tenderly in the middle of the tiny farm style kitchen.

Bella turned to me. "If we're going to get you home by this afternoon, like you told your dad, we need to get going."

We spent the next half hour or so moving around the cottage's three tiny rooms gathering things together and packing. I mostly stood by and watched. Both girls were quicker and much more adept at the task than my slow human hands could ever be.

In less time than it seemed possible, we were ready to leave. Bella had a bag in hand, and even though she probably could have singlehandedly carried all of the bags, I insisted on carrying two of hers, along with my own small backpack.

"It was nice seeing this place again," Jessica said wistfully as she closed and locked the door behind her.

Somewhere in the midst of her whirlwind packing routine, Bella had managed to call us a cab. I had smiled as my earlier suspicions had been confirmed and Bella began rattling off what sounded to me like flawless French. Somehow it made her impossibly more sexy.

We loaded our things into the cab, and it began rumbling through the same streets Jessica and I had passed through just earlier that morning. I mused how different the atmosphere was this time. Instead of being unsure and tense, I now felt relaxed and relieved as I pulled Bella back against my side in the backseat of the cab. She smiled up at me and placed her cool lips on my cheek.

As we rode along silently in the cab, suddenly my stomach gave a lurching growl. I smiled sheepishly as both Bella and Jessica looked at me before rolling their eyes. I realized it had been hours since my last meal, which had consisted of a half a bag of potato chips.

"Should we stop and get you something to eat, sweetheart?" Bella asked me, concern evident in her voice.

"No. I'll get something in the airport while we're waiting," I said, embarrassed by the sudden unwanted attention on my human needs.

After we got to the airport, we purchased our tickets, checked our bags in, and headed to the waiting area. I grabbed a sandwich from the coffee shop inside our terminal. I wasn't sure if it was just because I was so ravenous, or if it had something to do with my good mood, but it was delicious and I wolfed it down in huge gulping bites, chasing it with a large soda. Jessica huffed at me and went to read a magazine in the waiting area. Bella stayed by my side and watched me eat, humor evident in her features.

"What?" I asked, in between bites.

She shook her head at me. "Nothing. You're just…cute when you eat." She smiled. I rolled my eyes and shrugged at her.

"Well, I'll admit, it's no giant, fighting mountain lion or anything, but it's pretty good," I said smirking at her. "Want a bite?" I offered, holding out my half eaten sandwich to her.

She wrinkled her nose at me and rolled her eyes.

Soon, we boarded the plane and settled down in our seats; first class again, of course. It turned out Jessica wasn't the only one with a propensity for deluxe accommodations when flying. I took the window seat next to Bella, and Jessica sat on the end closest to the aisle.

Once we were on our way, I became aware of how exhausted I was. My eyelids were heavy, but I fought against the impending exhaustion. I didn't want to miss one minute with Bella. She sensed how tired I was and reached over to stroke my cheek tenderly. I smiled and placed my braced hand on top of hers. Her eyes flickered to my damaged hand covering hers.

"Does it hurt?" she asked softly. With feather light touches she removed the brace and placed my still tender hand against the cool skin of her forearm. It felt so good that I closed my eyes and sighed at her touch.

"Not much," I said, honestly. It really didn't, anymore. It was a little stiff and sore at times, but other than that, it was definitely healing. Bella gently raised my hand and examined the tiny suture marks that were quickly fading into a thin white scar as they healed. She pressed her chilled lips to them and I shivered in pleasure.

"I'm so sorry you got hurt," she murmured, her cool breath causing goose bumps to rise across my skin.

"Don't be silly, Bella. I punched him. Remember?" I smiled at her. Her eyes clouded over and she pursed her lips. I had a feeling she was holding back on what she was going to say. "Bella, please stop. Stop feeling guilty. Stop blaming yourself for everything. It's unnecessary," I said, squeezing her knee with my other hand.

She sighed and leaned her head back against the seat, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them and looked at me again, they were once again clear. She smiled at me and patted my knee. Before I even realized it she had my brace back on.

"You should sleep," she whispered. As much as I wanted to fight it, the idea of sleep was too appealing to resist any longer. The flight attendant brought me a pillow and I settled down into the large comfortable seat.

Before I knew it, Bella's soft voice was sounding in my ear. I smiled and stretched without opening my eyes, momentarily forgetting where we were. I reached up my arms, searching for Bella. I wanted to pull her close to me. A little further away, I heard a different voice giggle. My eyes flew open when I realized we were still on the plane. It was Jessica who was giggling. Bella was looking down at me with an amused expression on her face.

She reached down and kissed my lips quickly. "Come on, sleepy. We're here."

I stood, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as Bella took my hand and led me off the plane. I stumbled behind the two girls through the airport. We caught our connecting flight to Port Angeles, and I drifted off to sleep again. When we landed, it seemed like I barely woke up enough to stumble out to Jessica's car.

Bella sat in the front seat as Jessica drove us back to Forks. I folded up my long legs as best I could in the small backseat, and before long I drifted off again, despite the cramped confines of the car.

I woke up again when Jessica pulled into my driveway. As the prospect of facing my enraged father loomed, I was suddenly wide awake. I was surprised when Bella got out and began walking up the driveway with me.

"You don't have to come with me. I should probably face Carlisle's wrath solo anyway," I said as we walked to the door.

"It's okay. I want to apologize to your parents," Bella said, squeezing my hand as we walked. I took a deep breath and raised my eyebrows at her as I turned my key in the lock.

It was a little after five o'clock, and Carlisle was sitting in the front room reading as we entered. He looked up from his newspaper and raised his eyebrows at me. His face was a mask of calm, but his blue eyes looked electric and bellied the stoic expression on his face. His eyes flickered over to Bella, and he smiled at her briefly before turning his attention back to me.

"Edward. You're home," he said, simply. At his words, Esme poked her head around the corner.

"Oh! Honey, you're home. Thank goodness! I've been so worried," she breathed rushing over to embrace me. She turned to Bella next and I could tell my mother caught her off guard as she gave her a quick but affectionate hug. "We've missed you too, Bella. I'm so glad you're back." She smiled kindly at Bella and Bella ducked her head but returned her warm smile. From his chair, my father cleared his throat impatiently. I sighed and turned to look at him.

I tossed my hands in the air, unwilling to fight the inevitable. "So, how grounded am I?" I knew there was no arguing it. I would take my punishment and do my time without any complaints. Before I could answer, Bella cleared her throat softly.

"Before you punish Edward, I'd like to say something, if you don't mind." Her tone was polite and she smiled timidly at my father. He nodded for her to continue. "I know it was rash and impulsive of Edward to take off the way he did, but I'd like you to know that he did it with the best of intentions in mind. He came to save me, and he did. I was under a lot of misconceptions and Edward came and set me straight. I owe him a lot for that," she finished softly, looking down at her feet.

My mother spoke up, "Does this mean that you are back for good, Bella?"

Bella nodded and squeezed my hand as she smiled up at me.

"Well then, it was worth it," Esme said, grinning at Bella and me.

From his chair, my father sighed, clearly exasperated by the turn the conversation had taken. "Regardless, Edward, you are grounded. One week." His voice was low and even and once again I was reminded that the calm façade was an act for Bella's benefit.

"Yes sir," I nodded, ducking my head. I smiled inwardly, elated that I had gotten off so easily. I was fairly certain that if my parents knew where my spontaneous trip had taken me, I would not have been so lucky. But, I couldn't help but think that Bella had something to do with my more than fair punishment. I knew, of course, that my mother was crazy about her, but I also didn't miss the way my father smiled at her affectionately as she had explained my absence to him. He was just as charmed by her as I was.

After that, Bella explained that she needed to get going before her parents wondered what was keeping her. She reached up and kissed me on the cheek, whispering, "I'll be back…later," as she did. I couldn't help the ridiculous grin that spread across my face at the thought of Bella and me alone in my room together later.

My mom had dinner ready, and I wolfed it down, burning my mouth in my haste to finish and get up to my room. I gave my parents the excuse of having a ton of homework, which was not untrue, considering the amount of school that I had missed lately. I was really going to have to buckle down soon if I was going to keep from falling behind. But tonight was not the night for that.

As I entered my room, shutting the door softly behind me, I smiled at the sight that awaited me. Bella was lying across my bed. She had changed into a black velour sweat suit, and I grinned at her, glad to see that some things had not changed, despite her temporary absence. She always insisted on wearing black for her incognito missions into my room at night. It was completely unnecessary, given her lightning reflexes and speed, but I found it endearing and sexy anyway.

I gazed at her appreciatively for a moment before launching myself across the room. She rolled out of the way without effort as I flopped onto the bed.

I held myself up with my arms and she shimmied underneath me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me.

"Welcome home," I murmured softly to her, nuzzling her velvety cheek with my nose.

We talked until I grew so sleepy I knew I was mumbling incoherently as I fell asleep with her nestled in my arms.

My last words before I drifted into the dark oblivion of sleep were, "I love you, Bella. This is where you belong." The last thing I heard was her sweet voice murmuring in my ear, "I know. This is where I'll always be, Edward."


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 22

The next few weeks flew by in a blur. Bella and I returned to school, and were in about the same boat with our missed school work. Somehow though, Bella was able to make hers up a whole lot quicker than I was. We would sit at my dining room table each afternoon after school, books out. We would begin our work at the same time, and in what seemed like only a few minutes, she would shut her books and proclaim that she was done. I would look up at her with narrowed eyes, grumbling under my breath. She would laugh and offer to help me finish my work. I always refused though. I wanted to catch up on my own. She would shrug her shoulders and spend the rest of the time trying to distract me by running her fingers through my hair and blowing her cool breath on my neck. Eventually, she would give up and sit down, giggling at the frustrated and distracted expression on my face as I attempted to finish the rest of my homework.

My punishment went by quickly too, because, honestly, it didn't even seem like I was being punished. All I really cared about was seeing Bella, and I got to do that each day at school. But the best part were our nights together. Except for the nights that she left with her family to go hunting, she would don her black uniform and effortlessly scale my tree. I would wait for her with a silly grin on my face, pulling her into my arms and covering her face with kisses before she could even fully set foot into the room.

It was a wonder I could function during the day, I spent so much time awake during the night. I couldn't help it. I couldn't get enough of her; her scent, her touch, and especially her taste. Things were progressing quickly for us physically. One night, I got up my courage to talk to Bella about the realm of possibilities that awaited us on that front. Back in Chicago, I had dated my fair share of girls, and I knew that Bella had been with James, but obviously things between Bella and I were going to be different than what either of us had experienced previously.

"Bella…" I began nervously one night, trailing my fingers across her shoulders. Her jacket lay in a crumpled pile on the floor by my bed, along with my shirt, and she was wearing a black tank top and black cotton pants.

"Hmmm?" she murmured, smiling up at me.

"I was just wondering…well, do you think that we might ever be able to…you know…" I could feel my heart race, and I knew Bella could hear it. She looked up at me quizzically and cocked her head to one side. I gulped and continued, "Well, I know that you were…with James." I hated mentioning his name in the midst of this conversation, but I wasn't sure how else to broach the subject.

Understanding dawned in Bella's tawny eyes. She smiled gently. "Edward, are you asking me if we'll ever be able to be…intimate?" she asked. She suddenly looked as nervous as I felt, and I took comfort in the thought. I nodded, grateful for her articulation.

"I was wondering when this was going to come up," she said, smiling playfully at me. I rolled my eyes at her. I had wanted to bring it up a lot sooner, but wasn't sure how. She continued. "I don't know how that would…ever work…" she trailed off, and I felt my stomach sink at her words. She must have seen the look on my face. She hurried to reassure me, "Don't get me wrong, Edward; it's not that I don't want to. I love you very much, and I would like nothing more than to show you that in a…physical way."

I blushed as her words conjured up mental images that I had been trying very hard to suppress.

"It's just that I don't know if you realize how much I have to control myself around you. If I ever got myself in a situation where I had to surrender some of that control," again, more not entirely unwanted mental images, "I would be too afraid that you might get hurt," she finished, glancing at me sheepishly.

I sucked in a deep breath and blew it out of my pursed lips quickly. I nodded. I did understand her point. I knew it was difficult for her to be with me in any capacity, and I appreciated the sacrifice she made daily. I didn't want to make things any harder for her.

"I understand," I said simply.

She sat up on her knees on the bed. She crouched down on all fours and began to crawl towards me. "But we can still do this…" she whispered as she reached me. She tilted her head and pressed her cool lips to mine. I reached up and wound my hand through her hair, pulling it lightly. She reached one hand up and placed it on my bare chest, pushing me back against the pillows, her lips never leaving mine as I lay back against the bed. She settled against my chest, one hand on either side of my shoulders. We kissed until I felt a little dizzy as I looked up at the ceiling of my room.

"You should get some sleep," she whispered, moving her hand across my stomach. I nodded, and felt my eyelids growing heavy. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed by the outcome of the conversation that I had worked up so much courage to have. But as I drifted to sleep with Bella's cool little body nestled into my side, I couldn't bring myself to feel too let down. If all I ever got to do was hold her and kiss her perfect lips for the rest of my life, I knew I would be content.

As for my friends, Jasper and the rest were happy to welcome Bella back. Bella and I would sit with them each day in the cafeteria, and to my surprise, a couple of days after our return from Paris, Jessica and Mike began to join us at our table, too. Rosalie was as cold as ever, but everyone else seemed to accept the pair of them without hesitation, especially Alice. She and Jessica hit it off immediately, chatting easily about shopping and lamenting about the lack of good shopping venues in the Olympic Peninsula. Everyone seemed happy about Bella's return, though it probably had more to do with the marked improvement in my disposition and temper since her return than anything.

For her part, Bella seemed thrilled to be back. She was loving and affectionate, and on top of our blissful nights together, we spent almost every spare minute during the day together. Every once in a while, she would be reminded of something relating to her absence, or worse, her perceived shortcoming when it came to what she still looked at as her duty to protect me, and her eyes would cloud over and her brow would furrow. When that happened, I would reach out and stroke her cheek and wait for her to come back to me. After a moment, she would take a deep breath, her eyes would clear, and she would smile apologetically at me.

I had stopped trying to convince her that I didn't need her protection. Even though we had not seen or heard from James since Bella's return, she was still convinced something bad was going to happen that she would be unable to save me from. I had accepted the fact that she was stronger and faster than me, and I was okay with it. But when she acted like that, it made my old feelings of insecurity and doubt return.

"Bella, stop, please. You're making me crazy," I said one night, rolling over and sitting up. It was late, and we were lying in my bed. I had accidentally mentioned her shield and had watched as her face darkened.

Behind me, she sighed. "Edward, I'm sorry. I don't mean to. It's just…" she trailed off. I felt my anger spike.

"What, Bella?" I growled, trying and failing to keep my voice even. I felt like she really was making me crazy. When things were good, they were really good and I was on top of the world, but then things would turn on a dime and she would be unsure and doubting again and I would want to grind my teeth and scream in frustration.

I twisted on the bed to face her. She closed her eyes for a moment in obvious frustration. The room was dark and the silver moonlight streamed through my open window and across the bed where she sat. She was so beautiful it made my heart clench. I reached out a hand and stroked her face. When the moonlight hit my arm, it made my already pale skin silver. It matched her chilly skin perfectly. For once, we matched. Suddenly, I was struck by the similarity. Bella's eyes opened, obviously responding to my increased heart rate.

"What's wrong, Edward?" she asked, her eyes darting around the room reflexively.

"We match," I muttered under my breath. Her eyes stopped flitting around and rested on me, waiting for me to elaborate. "We match," I said again, smiling.

Again she furrowed her brow, still not understanding what I was getting at. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could I continued.

"Make me match you, Bella," I said, excited now by the thoughts that were racing through my head. Understanding dawned on Bella's face, and her eyes widened momentarily before her face darkened.

"No," she said, shaking her head vehemently; the finality of her voice made me flinch. I shook off her rejection and continued anyway.

"Bella, it's the only way. Don't you see? If you make me one of you, then you won't have to worry about protecting me anymore. I'll be strong and fast, and I'll be able to protect myself." I smiled at the thought of it.

Bella's face twisted in pain. "You don't know what you're asking, Edward," she said quietly, casting her eyes downward.

"Yes, I do!" I cried, moving closer to her on the bed and taking her hands in mine. "Bella, it's the only way we can be together. We'll be equals. You won't have to worry about me anymore."

She looked up and met my eyes. I was surprised by the hard edge I found in them. Usually they were liquid gold, but now they were solid, ice-cold topaz.

"Edward, I will not doom you to an eternity of night like James did to me." Her voice matched her eyes, and I was speechless for a moment.

"But, Bella, if he hadn't, I would have never met you," I said quietly, looking down at the frayed quilt. I hated giving James any credit for anything; almost as much as I hated the thought of a world where Bella didn't exist and wasn't in my life.

"You do not want to be a vampire," Bella said in a low hiss. "No one could want that."

I looked up at her and my voice was steady as I locked her gaze to mine. "I want to be with you forever. If that means that I become a vampire, then that's what I'll do. Do you not want to be with me forever?"

Her voice softened and her eyes were liquid again as she looked at me, reaching her hand up to brush my hair off my forehead. "I want nothing more than to be with you forever. I just will never be selfish enough to ask that of you."

I grinned at her. "Well, you don't have to worry about that because you're not the one asking."

She was silent for a few minutes as she looked across the room. "You don't know what all is involved in being…like me," she said softly. "The process itself is phenomenally painful. You will think that you are dying, and then you will wish you had. When it's said and done, you'll have to give up everything you know. You won't be able to see your family or your friends ever again. Are you ready to give all of that up? To never see your parents again, or your friends? Jasper? Alice? You would be dead to all of them. You will be too different. Plus, the thirst will be too strong for you to safely be around humans for many years. You will be a newborn, and it will be confusing and frustrating, and your throat will constantly be on fire unless you give in to your demonic nature, and then the guilt would eat at you until you feel like you are going crazy. The feelings that you cling to so strongly as a human: love, hope, compassion; those will all be replaced by the all consuming thirst that rules our lives. You look at my family and me, and see us acting relatively human; but you don't understand that it has taken us decades, _decades_, to get to that point. You would hate me for doing that to you."

She had never been as open and honest about the mechanics of the transformation, and I knew she was only doing so now as an attempt to dissuade me. As she finished her monologue, I thought about her words for a few moments. Of course, all of the things she mentioned gave me pause. I didn't want to lose my family or friends. But somehow I knew that if I could tell them; if I could really be honest with them, they would agree with my decision to give it all up for Bella.

Of course I didn't want to be a crazed blood thirsty vampire, but I trusted that Bella and her family would keep me safe and would keep me from harming others. None of the objections she raised changed my mind about my decision. I would give it all up for her, and I told her so.

She sighed. "Edward, is this about me protecting you? Because, I swear, between me and my family—"

I cut her off, "No, Bella. I'm not worried about you protecting me. I never have been. You're the only one who's preoccupied by that. For me this is about being with you. Forever. That's it."

She was quiet again, and then she sighed and turned to me. "Let me think about it for a while, okay? We're not in any hurry here, so let's just sit on the idea for a while." I opened my mouth to protest but she held up one finger and cut me off. "I'm not saying no right now, I'm just not saying yes."

I thought for a moment. It was clear that we were at an impasse, but it was better than the outright rejection she had given me at first, so I would take what I could get for the moment. I knew as we settled down in the bed, Bella curling up into my side as I drifted off to sleep, that she was hoping I would change my mind, or that my frail human brain would forget about the idea, but I knew that was not going to happen. I just didn't know why it had taken me so long to come up with what I viewed as the perfect solution to the problem that was so obviously still plaguing her.

"Bella…" I muttered sleepily right before I slipped into unconsciousness.

"Hmmm?" she asked, her voice distracted.

"I love you. I can't wait to be a vampire…" I mumbled. At first I wasn't sure my words were intelligible, but when I felt her tiny form go rigid in my arms I knew she had understood me. I chuckled and pulled her closer; my silly vampire.


	23. Chapter 23: Bella Swan

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 23-BPOV

I sighed as I gazed up at his beautiful sleeping face. Edward stretched and sighed in his sleep.

"Bella…" he mumbled. I smiled. I loved watching him sleep. He was so interesting. It was not uncommon for him to say my name. I had to admit that was my favorite part. "…I love you," he murmured, smiling in his sleep.

I smiled at him, stroking his forehead softly. I loved our nights together. I could think of no better way to spend my nights than curled against Edward's warm side listening to him mumble and mutter throughout the night.

"I can't wait to be a vampire," he said softly. I drew in a deep breath and felt myself stiffen in his arms. Amazingly, he chuckled sleepily at me when he felt me grow rigid. He pulled me tighter against him and then he was out like a light.

Carefully, so as not to disturb or wake him, I wriggled out of his arms. I turned on my elbow and looked down at him as he laid sleeping, head nestled against his pillow; his glorious coppery bronze hair splayed out around him in its usual chaos. I sighed. He was so gorgeous. I traced my finger gently along his jaw line. Then I ran my finger tenderly across his full lips. He twitched slightly in his sleep from the sensation, and I smiled. His eyelids fluttered. He was obviously exhausted, he was already dreaming. I ran a finger lightly over the tips of his thick auburn eyelashes. His lips turned up slightly in the corners, and I smiled at the thought of him having a pleasant dream.

I leaned my head back against the headboard and closed my eyes. I didn't think it was possible, but I felt absolutely exhausted. Somehow, Edward had completely blindsided me tonight with his…request. I couldn't even bring myself to think the words.

My mind was spinning, a feeling I wasn't used to. I tried to calm myself down, but I wasn't sure how. Suddenly, I had to get out of there. As much as I hated to leave Edward, I couldn't think in this close proximity to him.

I quickly extricated myself from his warm embrace and made my way back to the window. I slid the window open noiselessly and paused before climbing through. I looked back at Edward's sleeping form and I felt my dead heart throb. I loved him so much it was painful. I shook my head and sighed before leaping through the window, landing effortlessly on the tree's branch. I swung back and forth, descending lower with each pass until I landed silently on the spongy grass of Edward's lawn.

I looked around quickly, ensuring no one was around. It wouldn't have mattered if there was anyone close by. I stretched my shield out protectively, checking out the surrounding forest before I started running.

I smiled as the wind whipped around my face and arms as I tore through the dense forest. I loved running. It was when my mind felt truly free and uninhibited. I could let everything go and be myself. My family and I spent so much time keeping up the act of being human, it was a relief sometimes to just let go and be ourselves. Even around Edward, I rarely let my true self show completely.

If I wasn't fighting against my thirst, I was working to rein in my inhuman strength and speed. Despite how well he had handled all my secrets thus far, I was still terrified of frightening Edward away, or worse, accidentally harming him.

Plus, I knew that even though he would never admit it, Edward liked to feel like he was in control. He knew that I was faster and stronger than him, and practically impenetrable, but he still liked to do things for me. I smiled as I thought of how gently he touched me or handled me, as if he could do damage to me. His misguided chivalry made me love him even more.

In almost no time, I reached my house. It was late, but of course all the lights were still blazing in the windows, as none of the inhabitants of this house would be settling down any time soon.

I found Jessica in the study. She was reading the complete works of Shakespeare, again. When I entered, she barely looked up. I glanced around at the richly appointed library. There was a fire crackling in the fireplace, more for the sake of ambiance than actual need. The room smelled of old leather-bound books and burning wood. There were fine leather sofas and arm chairs scattered throughout the large space. It was one of my favorite places to come and relax.

"Hey, sis," she said, absentmindedly, turning the pages rapidly as her vampire eyes scanned quickly down each page.

"Jess, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked, sitting down on the edge of one of the burgundy colored leather sofas. She must have heard the desperate tone in my voice because her head snapped up in my direction instantly. She gave me a quizzical look, inviting me to continue.

"Edward asked me to change him tonight," I said quietly. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the couch cushion. After a moment, when Jessica didn't respond I opened my eyes to look at her. She was grinning. I narrowed my eyes at her and growled. "What are you smiling about?"

"Oh, come on, Bella. You had to think it would come to this. He loves you. It's natural for him to want this."

This was not the response I was hoping for from my sister.

"How can he want to be...a monster?" I asked quietly, staring into the fire. Jessica's peeling laughter startled me.

"Bella, I know you don't really think of yourself as a monster." She rolled her eyes at me, shaking her head from side to side.

I thought about her words for a moment. The truth was I didn't see myself as a monster. I liked my life. I liked being lightning quick and strong. There was the constant thirst to deal with, but after so many decades of abstaining, even it had gotten to be a dull, annoying background ache that I didn't think about very often. I knew a lot of my feelings regarding my life had to do with my shield. It allowed me to interact with humans as rarely as possible, while still being free to move in and out of their world as often or as seldom as I liked. It was convenient and useful, and I knew I relied upon it entirely too much. Exactly how much had become abundantly clear when Edward had waltzed into my life.

Now all aspects of my life were tinted by Edward. Things that were normal to me I knew he saw as abnormal and strange. I knew there were aspects that were downright frightening to him, even if he wouldn't ever admit to it.

"No, I don't see myself as a monster, Jess, you're right. But I just can't imagine why Edward would want to throw away his life for...this..." I faded off, unable to come up with a suitable term to describe our existence.

"Edward wants to choose this lifestyle because of you, Bella," Jessica said simply. "He loves you and wants to be with you. I can understand that."

I knew she was fond of Edward and approved of my relationship with him wholeheartedly, but I never thought she would have condoned Edward's ludicrous idea of becoming a vampire.

Jessica had changed Mike, but only because the only other option had been to allow him to die. This was an entirely different situation. Edward's life was not in danger. Well, it was now, but only because of me. Jessica put her hand softly on my knee.

"What did you think he would want, honey?" she asked, looking up into my eyes, her own tawny colored eyes sympathetic. "To stay human and grow old while you stay in your unchanging and immortal state?"

I sighed and ran my hand across my face, then chuckled at myself when I thought about what I was doing. It was what Edward always did when he was frustrated. Apparently he was rubbing off on me. That thought led me to think about all the other ways that Edward was changing my cold dead heart.

I knew I couldn't live without him. I had figured that much out during my ill fated European trip. Though I had the best intentions when I left, the results had been disastrous, that much had been evident just by looking at Edward's face when he arrived at my doorstep.

For all the pain Edward endured because of my departure, he had at least attempted some semblance of a normal life. He had tried to go back to school; he had attempted to survive without me.

I, on the other hand, had sunk into a depression so deep I only realized the ill effects after I was brought out of it by my sister's rescue mission. After leaving Forks, I had bid James goodbye. He had been surprised, and more than a little irritated, but I had shielded myself from him and threatened to come after him if he went near Edward. As I had suspected, James wasn't nearly as interested in being with me as he was in making sure Edward was _not_ with me. I had convinced him that I would not be returning, because, at the time I had no plans to return to Edward.

I had holed up in the tiny Parisian cottage and spent my days and endless nights trying in vain not to think of him. I didn't leave, except when my thirst absolutely demanded that I hunt. I resisted the urge to contact my family, knowing that if I did it would be too easy to casually mention him and see what news they could offer me.

I kept my resolve to stay away by continually reassuring myself that Edward was better off without me. It was painful to think about him moving on, forgetting about me; but I knew that would be the only way that things would grow less painful for him, and I wanted that. More than anything, I wanted Edward to come away from this whole situation unscathed.

But when he had shown up at my door with Jessica, I took one look at him and realized that he was as bad off as me. The thought had made my still heart clench and soar simultaneously. I hated the thought that he was in so much pain, but the thought that he still cared for me as much as I cared for him gave me hope, even though it was hope I did not deserve.

It would have been better for Edward if I could have kept my resolve to stay out of his life, but I knew right then and there, standing outside my old cottage, gazing at his anguished face, that I would never be able to do it. It was wrong and I was selfish, but I had to be with him.

I formulated a plan as we returned to Forks. I would stay with Edward, keeping him safe as best as I could and enjoying his company throughout his human life. That would give us a good fifty, or sixty years together. I couldn't ask for more than that.

The guilt that I felt over being unable to protect Edward like I wanted to still weighed heavily on my mind. But I was working on that. I did the best I could to push it down and hide it from Edward, I knew he hated it. I swore to him and to myself that I would use mine and my family's other considerable resources to do whatever it took to keep him safe. It was clear to both of us that each could not live without the other, and I was prepared to deal with the consequences of that. But I was not prepared for one of those consequences being Edward's desire to be a vampire.

For the first time, I allowed myself to think about Edward's suggestion. The thought was terrifying in its implications, but for the briefest moment, I allowed myself to think past all the reasons why I wanted him to stay human, and imagine him as a vampire.

I imagined him pale and strong. I pictured his brilliant green eyes changing to a shocking crimson before fading to the gold topaz color our diet would make them, and felt sad. I loved his sparkling jade eyes. I loved his scent, even though it caused me physical pain. I couldn't imagine living without it, though it would be nice to not have to resist my thirst every time he was near. It would also be nice not to have to be so guarded and careful to avoid hurting him.

I imagined us running through the forest together. I could almost hear his laughter as he kept up with me effortlessly. In my mind I saw the dappled sunlight filter down through the trees and reflect off his pale skin, causing dazzling prisms of light to dance around us.

Just as quickly as these images darted through my mind, they were replaced by heavy crushing guilt. How could I take pleasure in the thought of ending Edward's life? Not only would his life be over, but he would have to give up all the things he held dear. How could he want to say goodbye to his parents, his friends, and his humanity? How could I allow him to?

I growled in frustration and dug my fingers into the soft leather of the couch nearly causing it to tear under the strain.

Jessica's small sigh brought me back to the present. I turned to her and smiled apologetically. Now that she had my attention again, she continued speaking.

"Bella, I know that you have this whole angsty tormented thing going on when it comes to Edward, but it's just silly." She took both of my hands in hers. "Be happy." As she said these last two words, she squeezed my hands emphatically.

I sighed and rolled my eyes at her. Jessica, bless her heart, was enough to drive someone crazy sometimes. As much as we had in common, and as well as we got along, we were opposites when it came to how we viewed the world. She had such a simplistic view of things, while I tended to over think things to the point of driving myself insane.

But, how could I not hesitate when it came to this? Edward certainly wasn't putting any thought into it. For some reason, he had this bizarre acceptance of all things vampire. I knew that my family and our lifestyle gave him a rather distorted view of what it was really like to be a vampire, but I had never dreamed it would lead to him wanting to become one of us.

"But what if my being happy means destroying his life?" I whispered the sadness evident in my voice as I spoke.

"Well, that's something the two of you have to work out, sweetie. But for what it's worth...I think the only way you could destroy his life is by not changing him." Jessica smiled gently at me, stood and walked lithely out of the study, leaving me alone with her words and my own tangled thoughts.

Suddenly, I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I had never felt so restless and unsettled. I stood quickly and darted downstairs and out the door not bothering to explain myself to Charlie or Renee who were sitting in the living room downstairs. I had to run again. I had to think and it felt like the only place I could do that was while I felt the wind whipping through my hair and my muscles stretching and working.

I ran fairly aimlessly for a long time, and as I ran, I began attempting to sort through my jumbled thoughts. Slowly I became resolved as I ran, and as the inky indigo sky began to fade into a bruised purple, I stopped running and turned back.

I stopped in front of the tree that was now so familiar to me. I took a deep breath and set my jaw before I scaled the tree and entered the window. His scent enveloped me as I stepped into the warm room.

I gazed across the room and took in his still sleeping figure. The sun was just beginning to cast its light across the early morning sky, turning his room a pale grayish gold. I felt a twinge of sadness as I realized he must have had a restless night without me. His legs were tangled up in the sheets and his hair was an auburn mane that dipped across his pale forehead and into his eyes.

Breathing deeply, I made my way slowly across the room. I wondered if he even knew I had left him. By the looks of his bed covers, I felt sure that subconsciously he had been aware, even if he hadn't awoken to find me gone. I hoped that he hadn't. This was the first time I had ever left him while he was sleeping, but I would hate for him to wonder if I was in the habit of abandoning him after he fell asleep.

I crept up to the head of the bed, being as careful as I could to not disturb his slumber. Once there, however, I couldn't resist the urge to touch him. I brushed his hair off his forehead and he sighed contentedly. I ran my fingers over his pale, muscular chest. He stirred and moaned beneath my fingers. His eyes fluttered open slowly and he smiled as they focused on my face.

"Good morning, love," I said softly.

He stretched and yawned, finishing by wrapping his warm arms around me. I sighed and rested my head against his chest. My smile faded when his ever present heartbeat grew louder and faster against my ear. I loved the sound of his heart. I felt I could pick it out of a crowd, I had grown so in tune with it. I took a deep breath and sat up.

"Edward," I began softly. "We need to talk."


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 24

I swallowed thickly as her words sunk in, and I immediately felt alert and awake. I tried to read her expression, but her face was a blank mask, her eyes intense but giving nothing away. I sighed and nodded, feeling a pit settle in my stomach.

I knew this conversation was inevitable, but I wasn't looking forward to it. I sat up and looked around my cluttered bedroom. The light was just beginning to peek through the window. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It was still early, but today was Saturday; so neither of us would be in a hurry to get to school.

"Okay. Let's talk," I said, taking a deep breath.

"I've been thinking about your...request;" Bella said, her voice much calmer and more even than it had been last night when we first discussed the matter. She paused and looked at me. I could tell by her expression that she was hoping that I would have somehow changed my mind during the night. She hoped in vein.

I raised my chin a fraction of an inch and met her gaze evenly. "Yes..." I said.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I can tell that sleeping on the matter hasn't weakened your resolve any."

I smirked at her and shook my head. "Nope."

Bella took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, as if she were trying to muster the strength to deal with this issue. My heart clenched, and for a fraction of a second, I wavered. I couldn't stand being the cause of any of her pain. But then, images of glorious and perfect Bella standing beside a stooped and wrinkled old man flashed through my head, and I felt determined once again. This was only causing Bella pain because she was being so stubborn.

After a moment, Bella opened her eyes and gazed at me. She smiled but her eyes were tight.

"Oh, Edward. I wish that I could get you to realize the value of your humanity," she sighed, her voice a sad moan.

I rolled my eyes at her words. "What value does my humanity have if I can't be with you forever?" As I spoke, I reached up and stroked her wintry cheek softly. As usual, she leaned into my touch, making me smile and further strengthening my resolve. I would be with her forever. There was no other alternative. I didn't want any other alternative.

After a moment, she sighed again and looked up at me.

"Okay," she said; the word so quiet I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it. For a moment, it didn't register with me what she had said. I sat there looking at her stupidly for a small eternity before I gasped in astonishment.

"What?" I froze, my knees tucked into my bare chest, arms wrapped loosely around my flannel covered legs. I was scared that if I moved, or asked her to repeat herself, it would turn out that I had misheard her or misunderstood the meaning behind the single word. She didn't answer, and after a minute the silence was deafening. "What did you say, Bella?" I whispered my voice tense and raw.

This time her voice was louder, and she met my gaze, "Okay, Edward. I will change you." Her eyes were pained as she said the words, but she smiled at me anyway.

I sat frozen for another few moments before I was up on my feet, leaping and hopping around the room like an idiot. I bent down and scooped Bella up off my bed.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I murmured planting kisses up and down her throat as she giggled in spite of herself.

"Sshhh!" Bella whispered, "Your parents will hear you!"

"I don't care. Let them come up here. I'll tell them right now!" I practically shouted.

Bella's face was immediately serious. She reached up and clamped her hand firmly over my mouth. "No you will not!" she hissed.

"Ouch! Okay, okay," I said, my voice muffled behind her hand. I tried to wriggle out of Bella's iron grip. The girl was strong; I couldn't get away. Finally, she released me, and I tried to rub my slightly tender mouth inconspicuously. I didn't succeed.

Bella's eyes fell upon my face and she looked immediately remorseful. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you? I was just trying to keep you from running around, shouting like a madman and waking the entire neighborhood."

"I'm fine. Don't worry. I was just kidding about telling my parents. You know that."

Bella took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Edward, can you sit down for a moment? There are some conditions I would like to discuss." As she spoke she raised an eyebrow as if challenging me to argue with her. I didn't.

Instead, I sat obediently on the edge of the bed next to her, nodding. I was a little nervous about her conditions, but I knew I had already overcome the biggest hurdle. Bella had agreed to change me. I could easily deal with whatever she wanted from me in return.

"Okay. I will change you," she began. The words made me grin from ear to ear. Bella glanced at my expression and rolled her eyes before continuing, "But not before graduation. I want you to graduate from high school first." Bella paused and turned to me.

I narrowed my eyes as I thought about her condition. I had to admit, it seemed reasonable. Graduation was only a few months away. I looked up at her and nodded, then waited for her to go on. I wasn't naïve enough to think she was done.

Sure enough, she continued. "After we graduate, you and I will go away to college together—"

I cut her off, shaking my head vehemently. "I don't want to go to college." She was crazy if she thought I was going to wait four years, "I'll have plenty of time for that after—"

It was her turn to cut me off. "Just listen, honey. I said we'd go _away_ to college. That's what we'll tell everyone. It will give us the excuse we need to get you away from everyone for a few years." Bella's eyes flashed and her expression was sad for a moment before she composed her face into a calm mask.

I nodded enthusiastically, "Oh, okay. Yeah, that could work. We'll go somewhere isolated until I can manage to be around humans again."

Bella shook her head sadly again. "Why are you so…okay with all of this? It's not going to be easy, Edward." Her voice echoed the sadness I saw in her eyes as she spoke.

I sighed and knelt down in front of her, taking both of her delicate hands in my own.

"Bella…" I sighed, looking up at her, "I know that, honey. I am not blind or naïve. If you are concerned, then I trust you more than enough to take what you say seriously. I know there are some real issues to consider with this decision. I'm not taking this lightly. But…" I paused, trying to find a way to make her understand why this wasn't a difficult decision for me. "I will do anything, go through anything; any amount of pain or danger or…anything to be with you. One lifetime is not enough. I'm sorry if that's selfish, I can't help it." I ended with a shrug.

Bella smiled down at me as she brought her hands up and placed one on each side of my face. "I know that me thinking this, and even worse, saying this makes me a horrible…person…and I will probably regret telling you this, Edward, but since you came up with this idea yesterday, I have run the gamut of emotions; from the bleakest despair, to downright anger. But now, as we sit here, I'm feeling…hopeful and even…excited at the prospect of being together with you forever. I know that makes me incredibly selfish, and part of me will always hate myself for letting you do this, but I can't deny that I want you with me forever."

Her words made my heart soar. While I knew deep down that it was just Bella's concern for my welfare and her own stubborn view of what she thought was best for me that fueled her to resist the idea of me becoming a vampire so strongly, there was a tiny part of me that was terrified that her rejection of my immortality was really her rejecting me. With a smile, I stood up and pulled her into my arms.

"Thank you, Bella. I love you so much. I know how hard this is for you. It doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you…human," I said, grinning down at her.

She rolled her eyes at my choice of words, and wrapped her cool, solid arms around me. I shivered at the electricity that popped and sparked through my system at her touch.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked, smiling at me. I could tell from her expression that she had reached her conversational limit on the topic of my humanity.

I shrugged. I really didn't care what we did from this point on. The day had already been so fantastic, and I hadn't even left my room yet.

Bella walked over to the window.

"It looks like the sky's clouding over. We should be able to go outside. Do you want to go to the beach?" she asked, glancing out the window and up at the sky. I walked over to the window and stood behind her. I followed her gaze as I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind. Sure enough, the sun that had been peeking through my window only a little while ago was now covered up by thick grey clouds.

I bent down and nipped her neck playfully before I murmured in her ear, "I don't care what we do, as long as we're together. In fact, I would be totally fine with never leaving this room."

Despite my best efforts to keep her there, Bella snuck out my window a short time later. We made plans for me to pick her up from her house after I spent a little time with my parents.

I showered quickly and loped down the stairs. I couldn't help the spring in my step. I was no longer grounded, so I knew Carlisle and Esme wouldn't stop me from going, but it wouldn't hurt to put in a little face time to appease them. As I entered the kitchen, I was struck by the thought that my time with them was now limited. It made me sad to think about that. I made a silent promise to make my time with them count.

My mom smiled at me from across the kitchen. She had just pulled a pan of muffins out of the oven. My dad was sitting on a barstool at the counter. I smiled as he tried to reach over and grab a piping hot muffin from the tin. My mom caught him and smacked his hand.

"Carlisle, those just came out of the oven. You'll burn your fingers!" Esme scolded affectionately. "Hi honey. Your father is trying to give himself second degree burns just to get a muffin," she said.

I smirked at her, reaching down to give her a quick peck on the cheek as I snuck my arm around her quickly to grab a muffin from the pan and toss it to my dad. He caught it effortlessly, and then began tossing it up and down to keep from burning his fingers.

As the rest of the muffins cooled, I set the table, and Esme fried bacon and cut up some fresh fruit. We sat around the small table in the breakfast nook of the kitchen. I was ravenous, as usual, and wolfed my food down. Esme discussed her charity work, and then the conversation moved on to my dad's work at the hospital. It seemed that for a small town, Forks had more than its fair share of sick people in need of medical assistance.

After we had exhausted all of the usual subjects, my mom turned to me. I groaned internally. I didn't want to be the next topic of conversation. But it was too late. Esme set her gaze on me.

"So, Edward. How's Bella?" she asked sweetly.

"She's good." I nodded, my words muffled due to the mouth full of cranberry orange muffin.

"You two seem to be getting pretty serious," my dad added in between bites of his own muffin.

I cringed but nodded. "Yeah, I guess." I shrugged noncommittally.

My father cleared his throat before continuing his line of questioning. "You know that your mom and I are fond of Bella. She's a great girl, but we want to make sure that she doesn't…hinder…your future plans, Edward."

I furrowed my brow. It seemed a little premature to fill my parents in on the plans that Bella and I had just made ourselves this morning, but they had me backed into a corner. I sighed and wiped my mouth.

"Actually, Bella and I have been discussing that a little bit lately," I said as I swallowed thickly. "We've been looking at colleges…together." I hazarded a glance up at my parents. My mom gave me a small smile, and I could have sworn I saw her wink at me. My dad's face, however, was grave.

"Edward, you've been planning on attending Loyola for years now. You've already been accepted." His voice was quiet as he spoke.

It was true. Loyola University was my father's alma mater, and I had been planning on attending there since my freshman year of high school. I planned to go into medicine, just like him. Now, it seemed that everything had changed. I thought about the new, entirely different future that stretched out in front of me.

"Well, Dad, Loyola is a good school, but there are lots of good schools." Loyola was a good school, and far away, but my father's connections would make it impossible to hide out there.

My father was quiet for a few moments, his jaw twitching occasionally. Finally, he broke the silence. "Edward, you know your mother and I will support you no matter what. The important thing is that you attend college, not necessarily which one. I know Bella is important to you, but please don't let her influence your future choices too much. You are both still so young."

I couldn't help the smirk that spread across my face at his words. If only he knew how wrong he was on both counts. Bella was the single motivating factor affecting my future choices, and she was not, by any stretch of the imagination, young.

When my father questioned my expression, I could only shake my head, attempt to compose my face, and reassure him that I would do nothing rash. I felt a twinge of guilt at the lie. Very soon I would be doing something very rash indeed, and if all went according to plan, it would all happen without their knowledge.

Soon after, my father pushed himself away from the table, saying he needed to pick up some things in Port Angeles today. He kissed my mom on the cheek, and was gone, leaving Esme and I alone in the kitchen.

I munched on a piece of bacon, my head full as I gazed out the window at the murky clouds that seemed to be constantly rolling across the horizon.

"Edward," my mom's soft voice broke my reverie. I looked away from the clouds and met her gaze. "Your father just doesn't want you to make any decisions that you'll regret later. I know that Bella means a lot to you. She's a wonderful girl, and I know that you two are going to be very happy together," she finished, smiling gently at me.

I looked at her, a little startled by her candor. It was as if she already knew the plans that Bella and I had only just begun to form this morning. I knew, of course, that she didn't, but it was in that moment that I knew my previous suspicions were correct. As I looked into Esme's sweet face, I knew that if I could have told my mom about our plans, somehow, she would have understood why I was making the choices I was.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 25

"Okay, I definitely just felt a raindrop!" I shouted, glaring up at the sky. Bella giggled at me. I was lying on my back on a thick blanket we had spread out on the sandy beach. Bella was lying across my chest.

The sky was an even murkier charcoal grey than it had been this morning. We had been watching lightning flash across the sky and listening to the rumbling thunder for the last twenty minutes. We had also been arguing about whether or not it was going to rain. Bella insisted that it would not; that the storm would pass us over, and the rain would fall to the east of us. Looking at the sky, I felt sure there was no way we would be lucky enough to avoid getting drenched.

"It's just one little raindrop. Do we really have to go?" she asked, her voice a slight whine. When I looked down, her lips were jutted out in the most adorable little pout. I laughed at her and then pressed my own lips against hers, trying to kiss away her pout. Her lips were cold and firm, but the familiar electricity made them feel warm and I sighed in contentment.

"If we can do that some more, then I don't care if we stay out here through a torrential downpour," I murmured, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer.

As if the sky heard me, suddenly there was an earsplitting clap of thunder. Reflexively, I uttered an expletive and practically jumped out of my skin, holding Bella closer against my chest. I looked up at the sky and ducked, expecting to be drenched in a sudden deluge.

"Are you okay…?" Bella asked. I looked down at her and narrowed my eyes when I realized she was futilely attempting to suppress her laughter. She motioned to the still dry sky. "It's not going to rain. I keep telling you."

I sighed and dropped my head back down on the blanket again. "Why do I ever doubt you? You're always right…" I paused. Bella placed her hands on my chest and pushed herself up, rising to her knees, and raised one eyebrow at me. "Well, with one exception." I smirked up at her.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I am right about that too; you're just too stubborn to admit it."

I raised my eyebrows incredulously at her, and my mouth fell open for a minute before I recovered slightly and cried, "Me, stubborn! You are calling me stubborn? Ha!"

She slapped my chest and I lost my breath momentarily. I struggled to get it back without her noticing, but of course her sharp eyes missed nothing. "Sorry! Are you okay?" she asked, her petite hands fluttering over my chest softly.

"I'm fine. I have to tell you, though; I am looking forward to being able to hold up a little better under your constant battering." I grinned at her.

Bella rolled her eyes at me exasperatedly before settling back down against my shoulder. We watched the angry black storm clouds move across the sky to the east and Bella pointed out where the lightning was going to strike a split second before it did.

"How do you do that?" I asked incredulously.

I felt her shrug against my side. "I guess I can just hear the electricity building up…"

I shook my head at her. "That's so cool…"

We stayed on the blanket for another hour or so until the wind began blowing and it turned so cold my teeth began chattering. At which time, Bella rolled me off the blanket, picked it up, and walked resolutely back to my truck, even though I insisted I was fine.

I trudged after her, grumbling under my breath. I looked up at the still dry sky and rolled my eyes. Not surprisingly, she had been right. I could see the vertical streaks of rain coming down through the misty clouds to our east, but the beach had stayed bone dry, other than the lone drop that I still insisted I had felt earlier.

When I reached the truck, Bella had already tossed the blanket into the bed and started the engine, cranking the heater on full blast for me. As much as I hated to admit it, the toasty heat that blasted from the ancient vents did feel nice. I tried to covertly rub my palms together in front of the vent as I climbed in the driver's side. Of course, she noticed and just rolled her eyes at me.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked quickly, before she could comment on my human weakness.

She shrugged. "We could go back to my place, if you want. I'm sure Jess and Mike would love to see you."

I agreed, and pointed my truck in that direction. Bella was silent as we drove through the sleepy little towns between the beach and her house. I reached out and took her cool hand, even though my own hand was still chilled from the blustery weather outside the truck. She looked over and smiled at me squeezing my hand lightly with her tiny one.

I felt a surge of happiness as it occurred to me that I would get to do this forever. I would get to be by her side and hold her hand for an eternity. And, because I would be strong and immortal too, I would never have to let her go. I wouldn't have to watch myself slowly deteriorate and grow old while she continued on in eternal perfection. I would never have to say goodbye to her. I would never have to let go of her hand. The thought made me grin.

We pulled into the long, lush driveway. I was getting better and better at recognizing it amongst the dense green growth of the surrounding forest. My truck rolled and bumped along the drive until I eased it slowly to a stop in front of the massive white house. I looked up and saw Mike standing on the porch, his arm slung casually across Jessica's small shoulders.

"Hi Edward! We heard the good news! Welcome to the family!" Jessica chirped, loping lithely down the steps to greet us as Bella and I climbed down from the truck.

I swallowed my surprise as quickly as possible, and attempted to close my gaping jaw. I turned to Bella and grinned at her for a moment before turning to Jessica.

"Why thank you, Jessica. It's nice to know that _someone_ agrees with my decision." I smirked at Bella and she rolled her eyes and sighed. Choosing to ignore both Jessica and me, she breezed past us into the house.

"Don't worry about her. She'll come around. She's secretly thrilled; she just thinks that admitting that makes her a bad person," Jessica whispered conspiratorially as we entered the massive front doors.

After some deliberation, the four of us agreed to play some games. We sat down around the family's enormous, strictly decorative, dining table. Mike produced a deck of cards, and we played several games, all of which I lost. Playing against three vampires was hardly confidence inducing, but I didn't care. It was just fun to watch the competitiveness between the three. When Bella was winning, Jessica would shriek in mock outrage and try to grab her cards from her. Mike would then take the opportunity to try and look at Jessica's and Bella's cards while they were distracted. When the two girls would catch him, all hell would break loose. There were more than a few moments when I feared for the structural integrity of the table.

I laughed so hard at their antics that tears came to my eyes. I stopped laughing, however, when suddenly, without warning, the whole room disappeared and the four of us, table, chairs, and all, were unexpectedly perched precariously at the top of a sheer cliff face. I gasped and gazed down hundreds of feet into the roiling black water, confused and disoriented.

"Jessica…" Bella growled fiercely from my side.

As vertigo began to set in, and I felt the bile rise in my throat, I peeled my eyes away from the water and saw that Mike was leaning back in his chair chuckling heartily. I furrowed my brow, desperately confused. Bella looked annoyed, but no one except for me seemed the slightest bit concerned that we had inexplicably gone from the Swan's dining room to a treacherous cliff face in an instant.

Jessica sighed and rolled her eyes. Instantly, the cliff face dissolved and I found myself back in the familiar dining room, gripping my chair and gasping for breath. Perplexed, I looked around. Instantly Bella was at my side, brushing my hair off my forehead. Her cool hand felt good, and I realized that a light sheen of sweat had broken out all over my face.

"Wha…wher…" I gasped, unable to form actual words.

"It's okay, sweetie. You're safe," Bella cooed soothingly. "Jessica just has a sick sense of humor," she hissed, glaring at her sister. Understanding dawned, and I felt my heart rate begin to return to normal.

For her part, Jessica looked appropriately contrite. "I'm sorry, Edward. I forgot that you weren't used to my…ability." She looked at me, her face turned down, "I just wanted to win. These two cheat," she said sullenly.

"You get used to it, Edward," Mike said, shrugging. "One time when she was losing at poker, Jessica got so upset, she put Bella and I in a lion cage at the zoo and refused to let us out for over an hour."

I couldn't imagine two inhumanly strong vampires being as terrified as I had been on the cliff face. "You were afraid of lions?" I asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow at the blonde vampire.

He grinned. "No, but lion is one of my favorites! It made us thirsty, but of course Jessica only creates an illusion in your mind, so we couldn't actually get to them! I craved African Lion for a month afterwards."

I laughed out loud and felt immediately better. But that didn't stop me from pushing my chair out and pulling Bella onto my lap while she continued to stroke my face. I twisted my head and kissed her palms. She smiled down apologetically at me.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard a phone ringing. I didn't pay any attention to it or whoever answered it. Bella was gazing lovingly at me as I planted small kisses up and down her cool arm. She was running her other hand through my still damp hair when she suddenly jerked her eyes away from me.

Reluctantly I followed her gaze. Bella's siblings had moved out of the dining room but the floor plan of the house was such that I could see Jessica and Mike in the spacious front room. Mike was sitting on the couch. His normally relaxed posture was now stiff and rigid and his eyes were glued to Jessica, who was standing near the window, her eyes on Mike as she spoke into the phone, too quietly for my human ears to pick up.

I glanced back at Bella. Her eyes were also focused on Jessica, her brow furrowed and her jaw tensed. I didn't know to whom Jessica was speaking, but I felt a pang of fear at Bella's and Mike's reactions.

Jessica stopped speaking long enough to look intently back at Bella, one eyebrow raised in a silent question. Bella took a deep breath and then nodded almost imperceptibly. Her eyes became ice and her jaw clenched reflexively. She let out a sharp puff of air.

Bella's eyes momentarily flashed to the stairway before they returned to her sister. My own eyes followed their path at a slower, human pace, and I saw Charlie and Renee descending the stairs, both with grave expressions on their faces as they looked intently at their daughter. After a few more minutes, Jessica ended the phone call and sighed. Mike stood and put his arms around her, clearly in an effort to comfort her.

I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. "Bella, what's going on?" I whispered. Bella closed her eyes and let out a slow breath. Her reaction made my heart thump faster.

Hearing my body's response, she turned to me and placed a hand on either side of my face. "It's okay, Edward. Everything is going to be fine. Don't get upset," she whispered soothingly.

"Who was Jessica talking to on the phone?"

"We're going to have a visitor," Bella said, casting her eyes downward.

"James…" I growled, stiffening immediately.

Bella met my eyes and shook her head. "No, not James."

Puzzled, I asked, "Who then?" I couldn't imagine who else would make the family so obviously nervous.

"An old…friend," Bella said, but the way she practically spit out the last word, in combination with the family's suddenly tense behavior, made it obvious that this person was not a friend at all.

"Okay, I'm assuming this person had to call so that they could find you, since you're probably shielding the house right now, right?" I asked. Bella glanced at me in surprise then nodded. "So if you don't like them, then why didn't you just say no?"

"It's not that simple," Bella sighed, standing up from my lap and pacing in front of me. "In order for you to understand, I would have to give you an explanation that we simply do not have time for," she said, throwing her hands up.

At some cue my senses were too weak to recognize, Bella froze and turned toward the door. The other vampires also heard whatever Bella had, and began moving in her direction.

"Edward, please stay in your seat until I introduce you; then please stay close by one of us at all times," Bella hissed furiously, only half turning to look at me. Her words were so fast I had to work to understand what she was saying. I nodded.

All was silent for about a minute. Then, I heard the crunch of tires in the drive and the soft whir of an expensive engine. I heard a door slam, and only seconds later the doorbell chimed loudly, causing me to jump.

Charlie moved fluidly to the front door, and his face transformed into the mask of a gracious host. He smiled brilliantly, his moustache jerking back and forth slightly as he swung the door open.

On the other side of the door, standing in the shadow of the gathering night, was a tiny girl in a dark grey traveling cloak. From what I could make out in the dim light, she looked to be no more than thirteen or fourteen years old. She remained in the shadows for a few moments before stepping closer to the door. Suddenly, she was fully illuminated by the porch light's golden glow. I felt my breath catch as her crimson eyes seemed to glow in the yellow light.

Bella, obviously hearing my reaction, turned to me with concern in her eyes. She smiled at me in what I'm sure she meant to be a reassuring gesture, but I could see the fear behind her eyes, and I could sense how nervous she was in the small vampire's presence. I furrowed my brow.

"Charlie," the tiny girl's tinkling soprano voice was instantly disarming. "It's so nice to see you again. It's been too long." She reached a gloved hand out and Charlie shook it firmly.

"Hello, Jane, it's nice to see you too," he said, nodding at the girl.

I felt a knot of fear in my stomach as she breezed past Charlie into the room.

_Who is this tiny vampire? What is it about her that has them all so upset? Why has she come and what does she want with my future family?_


	26. Chapter 26

******Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 26

Jane stepped into the room and began to greet the other members of Charlie's family. One by one, they grasped her ruby colored gloved hand, and expressed their pleasure at seeing her again.

From my chair, I could see Jane attempting to get a look at me. I felt a pit of fear in my stomach, and I wasn't sure why. Instinctively, the four members of Bella's family stepped closer to me, as if they were trying to keep themselves between the tiny girl and me. I could almost feel the tension rolling off of Bella as she moved herself even closer. The girl was too small to see over the family's shoulders, so she continued to move around them, trying to get a better view of me.

"Stand up, please, Edward," Bella said softly, evidently figuring she'd rather give Jane the view of me she was so obviously after than continue to allow her to try and get closer to me. I obliged, and pushed myself up out of the chair, running my hand through my hair as I met the tiny vampire's gaze.

She smiled, her teeth dazzling in their brilliance. I shivered slightly. There was something unsettling and slightly menacing just under the surface of her smile.

"You must be Edward," she said, narrowing her eyes as she looked me up and down slowly. "James didn't mention how…appealing you are…"

The growling snarl that snapped and ripped through Bella was so loud and fierce it startled me. I wasn't sure if it was in response to the comment about James, or about me being appealing. I wasn't even sure what Jane meant by appealing, but I was sure I didn't want to find out.

At the sound, Jane turned and looked at Bella. She narrowed her eyes threateningly for a moment before composing her face and smiling patronizingly at Bella.

"Now, Now, Bella. You need to control your temper. Don't you think you're in enough trouble as it is without losing control and doing something…rash?" she said, running her gloved hands over the front of her traveling cloak, smoothing out invisible wrinkles. I felt my own temper rise as the girl taunted Bella. Who the hell did this girl think she was?

"Excuse me…Jane is it? I'm not sure who you are, or what you are talking about. Do you mind explaining to me why it is you think Bella's in trouble? She hasn't done anything wrong," I called over the Swan family's shoulders.

Before the words left my mouth, Bella had whipped around to face me. In no time she was next to me, leaning up on her toes to whisper roughly into my ear. "Edward, you need to control yourself. This one isn't like James. The repercussions of angering her are far more serious…for all of us." She pulled away and looked into my eyes, her own ochre ones pleading and desperate.

I clenched my jaw and sighed. "Fine," I hissed. "But I don't like not knowing what's going on."

Across the room, Jane began to laugh. The sound caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. Bella gave me one last pleading look. I nodded, and she closed her eyes. I watched her shoulders rise and fall once as she took a small breath, obviously attempting to regain her composure before she turned back around to face Jane.

"You're right, of course, Jane. Losing tempers will help no one, will it?" Bella's voice was smooth and even, but I thought I could hear a slight warning layered in her tone before she continued. "Why don't we sit and discuss the situation." Bella smiled tightly and gestured to the large plush couches.

As the rest of the group proceeded to file into the large living room, Bella grabbed my hand and held me back.

"Edward, please let us handle this. I promise, everything will be fine; but the last thing we need is Jane upset. Trust me," she hissed.

I nodded. I wasn't stupid enough to think that this little girl who, for whatever reason made the Swans all so tense and edgy was someone I would want to piss off. I understood Bella's concern about my control; after all, the last time the Swans had an unexpected visitor I had punched him in the face.

Bella and I entered the large room as everyone was settling tensely into the couches, nervous and false smiles plastered on all of their faces. Who was this girl who had all of the Swans so anxious? The only person in the room who looked calm and relaxed was Jane. She smiled serenely at the family, and her smile, while bright and cheerful on the surface, held a menacing threat just underneath.

Bella pulled me along beside her and sat down, placing herself between Jane and me. Jane looked between Bella and me and smiled sweetly.

"Well, I'm sure you're all curious as to why the Volturi has sent me here," Jane said, slowly pulling the gloves that matched her eyes off her fingers. Her hands were tiny and pale, and each one was dotted with a blood red nail. She folded her hands across her legs.

"We are always happy to welcome old friends, but we are a bit curious as to what necessitates your visit," Renee said quietly from her place by Charlie's side.

"The Volturi have received a complaint about your family, Charlie," Jane said.

"I see. May I ask who made this complaint?" Charlie asked politely. As he gazed at Jane I already knew the answer.

Jane leveled her gaze at Bella as she spoke. "I believe it's an old...friend...of yours, Bella. You remember James, don't you?" It made perfect sense. Somehow he knew that Bella was back, and this was his way of punishing her for it.

"James is upset that I do not return the feelings he still harbors for me. Surely the Volturi can see past false accusations made for the sake of nursing injured egos," Bella said coolly, meeting Jane's gaze evenly.

Jane narrowed her eyes at Bella, and her expression was one of pure annoyance. She pursed her lips for a moment, attempting to suppress the cruel smile that threatened to erupt across her face.

"While that may be true, Bella, in this instance it appears James' assertion is true."

"Really? And what does James say?" Bella said, her voice slightly less assured than it had been a moment ago.

Finally, Jane let the cruel smile break through as she spoke. "James claimed that there is a human living amongst your family who knows too much of our world." Her eyes moved slowly to me, and she raised an eyebrow.

I felt a ripple of fear as I realized that I was the cause of her visit. I didn't understand much else of what she had said, but it was clear that she was here because of me. The room was silent for too many moments.

At last, when I could take no more of the tense quiet, I sighed, "Does someone want to explain to me what is going on? What is the Vol... whatever?"

"He doesn't know about the Volturi?" Jane's laugh was loud and shrill. She looked back and forth at the members of the Swan family, finally settling on Bella.

"He really doesn't know that much," Bella said quietly, eyes downcast.

"It doesn't matter, Bella, and you know it. You broke the rules. He knows too much." Jane's words were fast and venomous.

"What rules?" I hissed in frustration, grabbing Bella's arm, trying to force her to look at me. "Bella, please explain to me what is going on?" I pleaded, my voice softer now.

Bella turned towards me and placed a hand on either side of my face. She cast a quick look at Jane before she began speaking.

"Edward, the Volturi are the ruling class of our kind. They make and enforce the rules." She paused and looked again at Jane. "Of which there is only one: keep the secret. We are not supposed to tell humans about our existence."

"Oh..." I said obtusely as understanding finally dawned.

Jane laughed again. Unlike the laughs of other vampires I had met, it was grating and not at all pleasant. Perhaps that had something to do with the fact that she only seemed to laugh at the expense of others. "Yes, Edward; 'Oh.' Now you see the problem. Your girlfriend and her family have let you in on all their secrets. And now..." she trailed off, raising her eyebrows and shaking her head slowly.

"Okay, so what? It's not like I'm going to tell anyone!" I cried, looking back and forth at the faces of all the vampires around me for support. Only Jane met my eyes, but her gaze was the opposite of supportive.

"It doesn't matter, Edward. You know too much. The Volturri's laws are very clear and must be followed." Her voice was flat and hard.

"We're going to change him," Bella cut in and her voice was low and quiet.

"What?" Jane hissed, her eyes narrowing as they flashed to Bella.

"Edward is going to become one of us," Bella said, meeting Jane's angry glare evenly. "So there's no need for anyone to be alarmed."

"That doesn't change anything, Bella. The rules have still been broken and I've been given orders to follow—"

"Jane, let's not be rash," Charlie's voice broke in unexpectedly. "If Bella agrees to change Edward, then they'll be no reason for the Volturi to get involved. I'm sure that our old friends would not want you to make a false accusation. I know Aro especially would be upset if he learned afterward that there was more to the story than what you told him. Perhaps you want to make a phone call to inform them of the newest developments." It was the most words I had ever heard Charlie speak, and I was surprised by how sure and commanding his voice sounded.

Jane glared for a moment at Charlie. Her eyes glowed a darker burgundy and her face became a mask of concentration. I was so engrossed by her expression, and the change that came over her face, that Bella's angry growl surprised me.

"Don't even think about it, Jane," she warned quietly from my side.

Jane's face twisted into an angry sneer, and she took in several furious breaths before speaking in a low tone. "Ah, yes. Your shield. How convenient for you." Her tone was mocking.

I realized with a start that Jane must have some sort of extra ability that Bella had just protected Charlie from. I couldn't imagine what it might be, though. Jane had not so much as moved a muscle, but something beyond my senses had obviously just occurred.

Before I could ask any questions, Jane sprung lithely off of the couch.

"Excuse me. I need to make a phone call," Jane said crisply as she began moving toward the front door in a slightly faster than human pace. I heard the front door click shut, and whirled around to look at Bella.

"What the hell is going on?" I hissed furiously.

Bella closed her eyes and it looked like she might cry, if she was able, that is.

"The Volturi have very strict laws about this kind of thing. It's their job to enforce order among our kind. They have an elite guard, which they dispatch where needed to investigate charges and reports of indiscretions amongst vampires. Jane is one of the Volturi guard." Bella paused and looked up at me before continuing, "Each member of the guard has a special gift. Jane has the ability to telepathically inflict pain on others."

My eyes widened and my stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought.

"She tried to do that to Charlie just now, didn't she?" I whispered hoarsely. Bella nodded in confirmation. "But you shielded him."

There was a flash of pain in her eyes. She paused and her eyes darted quickly toward the front door for a moment before she leaned in and pressed her cold lips to my ear.

"She doesn't know that I can't shield you and I don't want to give her any reason to find out." Her words were a cool breath that tickled my ear. They were barely audible and as comprehension dawned, I realized why. She didn't want Jane to hear her. I hoped the distance would be enough to overcome the small vampire's super sensitive hearing. I shuddered involuntarily before nodding.

I sat back and tried to control my erratic heart beat and shallow breathing. I knew that Bella's shield couldn't protect me, but somewhere in the back of my mind I had always trusted the physical abilities of my vampires to protect me. The thought of danger that could affect me mentally, and was beyond the realm of their considerable arsenal of physical weapons made my blood run cold.

"What are our chances?" Bella asked quietly, turning to Charlie.

Charlie rubbed his chin for a moment, his moustache twitching as he thought about Bella's question.

"It's hard to say. The Volturi will not want to do anything that is not justified, especially Aro. Marcus will not want to bother with any of it, but Caius will be proud and not want to admit any wrong doing on their part. We will need to convince them that Edward is really going to become a vampire, and that he will pose no problem or threat until then." He paused and looked significantly at Bella. "It will need to be soon though, Bella."

She hesitated for a moment, and then nodded resolutely. We sat in silence for a moment until we heard the click of the front door. Jane breezed into the room and returned to the seat she had previously occupied. My heart sunk at the smug expression on her face.

"Well, after conferring with Aro, Caius, and Marcus, it seems that they would like some more information about the situation." Her smile was sugar sweet, but it was clear to see the vindictive pleasure she took out of the predicament she was placing us in. "They will be visiting shortly. I've been instructed to remind you to keep your shield in check, Bella," Jane said, her tone acidic.

"All three of them?" Charlie asked incredulously. I looked around at the faces of the other vampires in the room. All of them seemed to wear various expressions of shock and dismay at Jane's words.

There were more vampires like Jane coming here? Ones who would be deciding my fate? I suddenly felt numb, and my head began to swim with thoughts that I couldn't process quickly enough.

"Yes, well, as you pointed out, the Volturi prefer to examine all sides of a situation before making a decision," Jane said, brusquely. "They will be here next week. I assume I am welcome in your home until then." She gave Charlie another saccharine smile.

However, it was Renee who cleared her throat politely and spoke. "Actually, Jane, your...uh...hunting practices…" She threw an apologetic glance my way. "Might draw unwanted attention, and cause somewhat of a problem for us. Of course you are welcome to stay here, but we will have to ask that you...hunt...somewhere else, as far away as possible."

My stomach lurched as Jane's face became the same mask it had been earlier, and her crimson eyes dulled to a burgundy glow. Bella gave a low warning growl from beside me, and Jane's eyes once again snapped to her face.

Her face turned to a furious and frustrated pout as she glared at Bella. I knew I was helpless and was loathe to draw any undo attention to myself, but I felt an angry heat creep up my neck at the way she was glaring at Bella. Luckily, Jane didn't seem to notice my own silent temper tantrum.

Jane raised her chin and her eyes flashed. "No, I didn't realize that my stay would be an _inconvenience _to you." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. "In that case, I suppose I'll go wait for the rest of the guard in a more suitable location and return with them," she sniffed.

I felt a wave of relief at her words. I knew the situation was far from over, but the thought that Jane wouldn't be here while we waited for their arrival was more than a little comforting.

"If that would make you more comfortable..." Renee trailed off, relief evident on her face.

"What would make me more _comfortable_ is if I didn't have to return here again," she snapped, waving a hand around the room in obvious disgust. "But since you are refusing to cooperate, I will be back."

Jane pulled her red gloves back on her small fingers and gathered her thick charcoal colored traveling cloak around her.

Everyone, including Jane, rose fluidly and moved towards the front door. I stumbled along awkwardly behind, Bella, ensuring that I was as far away from Jane as possible.

Before stepping out onto the porch, Jane whirled around and glared back and forth between Bella and me as she waved her gloved finger in front of Bella's face. Instinctively, Bella stepped closer to me.

"A warning," she hissed. "Do not do anything...hasty...before we return. Justice will be carried out regardless of your actions between now and the time that the others return."


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 27

After Jane's departure, we all returned to the living room and sort of sat around in a daze. No one said much, which made me even more nervous.

Once again, it was left to me to break the silence. "So, who are these guys that are coming? What can we expect?"

Bella looked up at me. "They are three of the oldest vampires around. No one really knows how old they are. They have been living in Italy for as long as anyone can remember."

"So, is it really that big of a deal that a human has learned the secret?" I asked.

It was Charlie who answered me. "No, usually it's not. That's what has us all so puzzled. It is normal for a member of the guard like Jane to visit and investigate, but I have never heard of the three ancient ones leaving Volterra together. I am sure Jane will not be their only accompaniment."

"Why do they care so much about me?" I muttered, scratching my neck. I looked around the room and was met by perplexed gazes as my future family shook their heads sadly.

"I don't know, Edward, but I swear to you, I will protect you, no matter what it takes." Bella's voice was determined and intense as she knelt before me and cupped my face in her hands.

I smiled at her and my heart swelled. I knew she spoke the truth. I knew she would protect me. I just hoped it would be enough when our visitors came.

After a while, the rest of the family dispersed, leaving Bella and I alone on the couch. I held my arms out to her, and she smiled and crawled into them. Suddenly, given the huge unknowns looming in our future, it seemed more important than ever to feel her in my arms.

I kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair as she curled into me. My thoughts turned black as I thought about how quickly our future had gone from bright and clear to shadowy and murky. I hadn't met the vampires of the Volturi yet, but I already resented their interference in our lives.

I glanced out the window, and was startled to see how dark it had gotten. I began to think about leaving, but before I could voice my intentions, Mike walked back into the room.

"Bella," he began. She lifted her head slightly to look at him. "Jess and I were thinking it might be a good idea for Edward to stay with us until our visitors return."

Bella nodded. "Yes, I agree. I was just thinking about that." She smiled up at her brother.

"If you want, I could go home with him and convince his parents to let him stay with me," Mike suggested.

"Uh, thanks, Mike, but I don't know if that's going to work," I interrupted. I couldn't imagine my parents being cool with me staying at Bella's house for a week.

Mike smirked down at me. "I can be very persuasive. Plus, we'll tell them that Bella and Jessica went away to take care of some legal matters pertaining to their parents' estate."

I shrugged and stood up as Bella unwound her arms and legs from me. "I guess it's worth a shot."

"Be safe. Come back soon," Bella whispered as she wound her arms around my neck and planted a slow, smoldering kiss on my lips. I could feel the despair in it, and it made me struggle to pull her even closer to me as we stood in the porch light's glow.

I hated to leave Bella's side, but if Mike's plan was going to work she couldn't be anywhere around. I trusted Mike, and I knew Bella trusted him too. I smiled weakly at him as we climbed into the cab of my rusty old truck. Mike looked around the interior and smirked.

"Does this thing really run?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "I know it's not up to vampire transportation standards, but it meets my needs just fine."

Mike's laugh was hearty and filled the small cab. "That'll change."

I couldn't help but hear the double meaning in Mike's words. "Do you think it will?" I asked quietly as we wove through the dark streets.

"I've never met the Volturi, but from what Jessica has told me, they mean business. I honestly don't know what will happen, Edward. But I do know that Bella is not the only one who will do everything possible to protect you."

I turned to gaze for a moment at Mike. I was stunned by his words and wasn't sure what to say.

"Wow, Mike. Thanks so much. You have no idea what that means to me," I said in the darkness. I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye.

We pulled up to my house and both jumped out.

"Here goes nothing…" I muttered as we jogged up the steps.

Once inside, I looked around. It was still early enough that my parents shouldn't have been in bed yet.

"Mom! Dad!" I called, looking around. For a split second I felt a ripple of fear as I thought about Jane's presence in town. How difficult would it have been to trace my scent back to my house? I couldn't think of why she would want to do that, but then again, I couldn't understand why the Volturi was so interested in me in the first place.

My fears were put to rest as I heard my mom's voice calling out from the kitchen. Mike and I glanced at each other briefly as we made our way to them.

My mom and dad were seated around the kitchen table playing a game of Scrabble. They both looked up at us as we entered.

"Hi, Mike. Good to see you again. Hi, honey," my mom said, smiling at us.

"You're in kind of late, aren't you?" Was all my father said. That was not a good start.

"Umm. Not really, it's only nine," I said, working to keep the defensive tone out of my voice.

"Actually," Mike cut in, his voice polite as he looked at my parents, "It's my fault. Bella and Jessica left to go out of town for the week. Renee is chaperoning them, and Charlie is working late. I kept Edward longer than I should have."

My mom's face was immediately sympathetic. "Oh, you poor thing. Are you going to be all alone in that big house?"

Mike's voice had just a touch of sadness as he responded. "Yes. Charlie won't be there very much either. It happens to also be his week of double shifts."

"Why don't you go stay over there with him, Edward!" my mom said, beaming at both of us. I opened my mouth, but Mike cut in before I could.

"I couldn't ask him to do that. Not during the week when we both have school. I won't be very much fun anyway. I have a big government project due at the end of the week, anyway."

"Oh, I'm sure Edward won't mind," my mom insisted, barely glancing at me.

I clenched my jaw and I had to remind myself that I actually wanted the thing that Esme was pushing me towards.

"Um. Yeah. I guess I could go stay with Mike for a while," I muttered, still not sure how Mike had managed to convince my mother that sending me to stay at the Swan house for a week was her idea.

I looked to my father, ready to meet with his resistance. My jaw nearly fell open when he shrugged and muttered something about, "If your mother thinks it's a good idea." His eyes never leaving the tiny wooden tiles he was arranging and rearranging on their tray.

I just shook my head at Mike as we made our way up to my room to pack some things for my stay. He grinned back at me and shrugged his shoulders.

"What can I say? Parents like me," he said.

As we headed back to the Swan house, my bag of clothing and toiletries stowed in the truck bed, I let myself think about the fact that I was about to go stay at Bella's house for a week. My stomach flipped at the thought.

We arrived at the house. The lights were blazing, illuminating the surrounding forest. Bella and Jessica were waiting for us on the porch. Bella smiled at me as I hopped out.

"Well?" she asked as I scooped her up in my arms.

"I don't know how he did it, but Mike had my parents eating out of his hand," I laughed, looking over at Mike.

Bella grinned. "I knew he would. Thanks, Mike."

Mike and Jessica wandered off through the forest, leaving Bella and I alone. She ran her cool fingers through my hair as I held her in my arms.

"Things are serious, Edward." Her voice was soft in the dark night. "But I feel so much better just having you here with me."

I grinned at her. "I feel better just being here."

"It's late. Are you tired? I could show you to your room…" she suggested, gazing up at me.

The thought of seeing more of the Swan house had me nodding my head. I had only ever seen the main living area, and was looking forward to getting a glimpse at some of the rest of the house.

Bella grabbed my arm with one hand as she picked up my bag with the other. I protested that I could carry my own bag, but she ignored me as she led me up the massive oak staircase to the second floor. Once there, we travelled down a long hallway. There were beautiful paintings on the walls that I was unfamiliar with, and a rich tapestry ran the length of the spacious hallway. At the opposite end of the stairs was another staircase leading up a third floor. I glanced at Bella and raised my eyebrows slightly as she began to ascend it.

"What?" she asked laughing.

"Nothing, I just didn't realize your house had another level, that's all." I felt suddenly embarrassed as I realized how unobservant I could be when Bella was distracting me. I followed behind her, smiling at the way her hips moved back and forth in front of me.

"We like to spread out," she explained as we reached the top of the staircase. There was another long hallway, flanked on either side by double doors. She led me to the set of doors on the left, pausing to look back and smile at me before she pushed the heavy wooden door open.

For a moment when we first entered the room, I felt disoriented and unsure of where we were. The room was dark, but I could clearly see the bright, full moon and the dark outlines of the massive trees that made up the forest behind Bella's house. Then, Bella flicked a light switch, and suddenly the forest was gone, replaced by our reflections in what I realized were giant floor to ceiling windows that took up an entire wall.

I took a moment to look around the room. The walls were wallpapered in shimmering silver wallpaper with a monochromatic brocade design woven throughout. There were intricate silver wall sconces on the wall that cast a warm light throughout the room. I looked down as I stepped into the room and felt my feet sink into the lush, creamy colored carpet.

In the eastern corner of the room was a stone fireplace surrounded by several plush armchairs and a sofa, each upholstered in rich silver damask, arranged in a grouping to allow for easy conversation around the fire. I immediately felt the warmth of the crackling fire as I drew nearer. On another wall there were several large bookshelves overflowing with all sizes of books. I made a mental note to check those out later.

The most prominent feature of the room, however, was the massive wrought iron bed that was set in the middle of the window wall. It was covered in a shimmering charcoal colored comforter, and had stacks of massive pillows piled up against the headboard.

I glanced back at Bella as I circled the room, taking in my surroundings. The room was beautiful, the décor understated and elegant, while still being rich and opulent. She was watching me, carefully observing my reaction, as I made my way through the room.

On the opposite side of the room from the fireplace was a large open doorway. Curious, I walked through it to find an enormous bathroom. The lush carpet was replaced by beautiful grey marble that had streaks of black and charcoal running throughout. The marble continued across the floor and framed a massive tub, and next to it a gigantic shower with clear glass walls and doors. Opposite the shower was a long vanity complete with ornately framed mirrors and two deep bowl sinks.

"Geez, Bella. This is your guest room?" I marveled, turning to look at her as she followed me into the bathroom.

"Actually," she corrected, her voice low and slightly embarrassed. "This is my room."

"I thought you were showing me to where I was going to be staying?" I questioned.

"Well, I sort of thought you could stay here…with me," she said, not looking up at me. "But, if you'd rather not, we do have a guest—"

I cut her off. "No, Bella, I'd love to stay in your room." I grinned at her, moving to her side and lifting her chin up so she could meet my eyes. The relief was evident on her face, and she grinned at me sheepishly.

I looked around the bathroom and moved back to the bedroom, looking at everything differently now. All of these things were her things, things she'd picked out, things she liked. I had to admit that the room suited her perfectly. I loved the thought of spending time with her in the space that she'd created.

"My bed doesn't get a lot of use, so I thought it might be nice to…" she trailed off as my eyes widened and she realized what she'd said. I laughed and blushed at her words, and I felt sure that, had she the ability, she would have been blushing too.

"Don't get any ideas, Edward," she murmured, reaching up to stroke my hair.

"I hate to tell you this, Bella, but I already have ideas." I smiled down at her, gathering her in my arms and pressing my lips to her cool ones. I could never tire of the taste of her, or the smell of her, or the feel of her.

Holding onto her, I backed slowly over to the bed and let my knees bend, falling backwards onto the mattress, pulling her down with me. The impact of her small but firm form falling on my chest knocked the wind out of me for a moment, but I didn't let it deter me from moving my lips against hers. Her lips parted, and I breathed in her heady scent, and I felt dizzy and drunk on Bella's close proximity.

She ran her cool hands through my hair and I shivered, grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her even closer to me. I could feel every inch of her marble form against my body. I groaned as she pushed herself further up my body.

I moved my hands from her shoulders down her back and lifted up the edge of her shirt, my hands meeting with the cool soft skin of her back. I felt the muscles in her back flex as I ran my hands up and down along her bare skin. It was the most contact I had ever had with her skin and it made my blood broil beneath my skin.

"Edward…" she gasped, pushing herself up. "We need to stop…"

My breathing was ragged, and I was ready to protest when I looked into her eyes. They were no longer their usual liquid gold, but instead a hard, cold topaz. They flashed dangerously, and I was instantly ashamed. As much as my body was humming and popping in response to her, making it excruciatingly difficult to pull myself away from her, I knew that this was a hundred times more difficult for her, her physical desire for me compounded by her desire for my blood.

Before I even realized what had happened, she had pushed herself up off the bed and was standing on the other side of the room. Even though the light cast by the wall sconces was dim, I could see her bright, excited eyes flashing.

"Bella…" I sighed, sitting up on my elbows. "I am so sorry…" I trailed off, unsure of what else to say or how to make this easier for her.

She shook her head. "Please don't apologize, Edward. It's fine. I just need a minute."

After a moment, she walked back over to the bed. As she approached, I sat up. I sat very still, not wanting to make things any more difficult for her. She sat down beside me, and her smile was almost bashful.

"It's me that should apologize to you, Edward. That was unacceptable," she said softly.

"It's okay. No harm done," I shrugged, grinning at her. "I am curious though…I haven't seen…I mean…it doesn't seem like it's been that difficult for you in a while…" I stumbled through my question, rubbing my palms along the worn fabric of my jeans.

"I guess things had never gotten that…intense…before," she murmured, shrugging. "I'm better now, though."

As if to prove her point, she reached up and stroked my face softly before pressing her lips to mine. I smiled against her mouth.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered.

"I love you too, Edward. More than life," she murmured.

I scooted back against the mass of pillows, and Bella followed me. For several minutes, we were silent as she lay back against my chest and I stroked her hair.

"Bella," I whispered, hesitant to break the comfortable silence that blanketed the dimly lit room. She hummed contentedly in response. "What's going to happen to us?" My voice sounded small and timid in the massive room, and I hated it, but I needed her to be honest with me.

She sighed and leaned up on her elbow to look at my face. "I don't know," she said, her face open and honest. "I have wracked my brain trying to come up with every scenario, and I'm just not sure." Her expression was guilty, and I reached up to try to soothe the concern that caused her alabaster brow to crumple. "I do know this, Edward: no matter what happens, we will protect you. I will protect you with my own life." Her words were sharp, and I could see the intensity burning in her eyes.

I sighed. If only she didn't need to protect me. If only I was strong enough to stand on my own. Suddenly a thought occurred to me.

"Bella…how long does the…change take to happen?"

"About three days." She paused. Of course her quick mind was already caught up with where mine was headed. "But it won't work. You heard Jane, she warned us not to do anything rash, and promised that it wouldn't matter if we did."

"But do you really think they'll do anything to me if I'm no longer human? I mean, their chief complaint is that a human knows too much. If I'm no longer human, well, then problem solved. Plus, I'll be strong enough to hold my own. I won't need you and your family to babysit me." I sat up, suddenly excited by the idea.

Bella furrowed her brow at me. "Edward, you understand that it's not just you who's in danger from the Volturi, right?" She spoke slowly as she looked up at me. I opened my mouth to speak, but suddenly couldn't find my voice. She continued, "My family and I are also in danger. They will want to punish us for breaking the rules, as well as destroy you for knowing too much about us."

I felt the panic swell inside me at the thought. Since Jane's visit, I had only been thinking about the Volturi destroying _me_ for having inside information. The thought that the Swan family might be in danger because of what I knew had never occurred to me. Thinking about it now made my stomach churn, and I felt fairly certain I was going to throw up.

"No…" I whispered, pulling Bella closer to me. I felt my jaw clench as determination set in. I didn't know how I would do it, but I would save Bella and her family from the Volturi, even if it meant that I wouldn't survive.


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 28

Surprisingly, the next few days passed in a blur. As much as we were all dreading Jane's return, and with her, the mysterious Volturi; inevitably, there was nothing we could do to stop the steady march of time. The days passed much as they had before Jane's visit, the only exception being that I woke up in Bella's room each morning instead of mine, and she didn't have to sneak out the window.

The family held a conference around the large dining room table where it was decided that we would keep the original timeline for my change and do nothing before the Volturi's return.

"That's ridiculous!" I groaned in frustration. "Why not do away with our biggest liability: me being human?"

"It won't make that much of a difference, Edward. You'll be too new to be of any help. You'll be too ruled by your thirst," Bella said, shaking her head adamantly.

"It's worth a shot. It can't make things any worse…" I faded off, looking around the table.

"It can, actually," Jessica murmured from the other end of the table. She looked up at me apologetically. "You heard Jane's warning. It won't matter what we do, they're still going to come."

"Yeah, but they're already pissed. What's the harm in making me a little less vulnerable?" I questioned, my eyes landing on Mike for support.

"Look, Edward, I know how frustrated and helpless you feel. I would feel the same way if I were in your position. But Bell and Jess are right. Even if we could get you through the change in time, newborn vampires are ruled by their instincts and, believe it or not, you would be even more of a liability," he said. "Plus, we're not even sure it's going to come down to a fight. Maybe it won't…" he trailed off, no conviction in his words as he looked down at the table.

I leaned back in my chair and put my hands over my face, yelling into them in frustration.

"Edward." Bella's voice was soft, and I leaned forward again and looked at her. "I will change you. I've already promised you that. But I won't do it because you feel that you have no other choice. You deserve to be able to make this decision because it's what's best for you, not because you think it's the only way to save us. We will find a way to protect you."

I puffed out a deep breath and nodded reluctantly. I still thought it would be better to change me as quickly as possible, but I was forced to defer to their judgment in the matter, as I had no experience dealing with vampire law.

At school, it was pretty obvious that I was distracted and jumpy. Even Bella, with her normally cool and collected demeanor, seemed slightly rattled. Of course our behavior didn't fail to escape Jasper's ever-observant eye.

"What's up with you two? Are you on the run from the mob or something?" he asked bluntly one day at lunch. He smirked playfully as he said it, but I choked on my milk and Bella coughed lightly. Jessica and Mike looked down at their shoes.

I mumbled something about being nervous about graduation, and Jasper shrugged it off. But I could tell from the look that he gave me out of the corner of his eye that this wasn't the last I would hear of the matter.

His comment had given me an idea though. I brought it up to Bella that night as we lay in her enormous bed surrounded by what felt like hundreds of pillows.

"Why don't we make a run for it?"

She looked up at me and smiled, but it was a cheerless smile. "Trust me, the thought crossed my mind. But it's not possible," she said, her voice sad.

"Why not? I don't care about staying here. We planned to leave before you changed me anyway."

She shook her head, "It's not that, Edward. Remember what I told you about the Volturi guard?" I searched my memory for what she meant. She didn't wait for me to catch up before she continued. "Each member of the guard is gifted. There are members of the guard that are trackers, like James, but much more powerful. The Volturi would never allow anyone to escape from its far-reaching grasp. They would hunt us down, and then we would be worse off because we ran."

I felt my heart sink at her words.

"So there's no hope for us?" I asked quietly, holding her closer.

"No, Edward, no. There's absolutely hope for us. The Volturi are not supposed to be the bad guys. They are the reason that we are able to live the peaceful lives we live. Without their influence, others of our kind would not be nearly so inhibited in their behavior."

"So, you trust that they will come here and find that there has been no injustice and leave peacefully?" I asked, the doubt plain in my voice.

Bella was silent for a moment.

"No. I don't trust anything. I hope that is what will happen, but I don't know what will happen," she finally whispered.

Amazingly, there were actually moments when I didn't think about our impending doom. There were times during the week that I felt like a normal teenager. I stressed over homework and upcoming exams. I called my parents several times and reassured them that Mike and I were keeping out of trouble. Apparently, Charlie had stopped by to vouch for Mike's story and thank them for letting me stay with him this week. They didn't suspect for a moment that Bella was really by my side the entire time, instead of away with Jessica and Renee.

Bella did leave several times during the week to hunt. She said she wanted to build up her strength for the Volturri's visit, just in case. She would always return a couple of hours later, sliding her cool body under the covers until she was right next to me. Most of the time I would awaken enough to pull her into my arms, but even if I wasn't conscious enough to remember waking at her return, I would always find her in my arms when morning came.

Things never did get as…intense…as they had that first night. I felt guilty for pushing her too far, even if she had been right there with me. I didn't want to make things any more difficult for her, especially with our impending visit from our Italian friends.

It was increasingly difficult to remind myself of this, however, when I was enveloped constantly in her scent. Everything about her room reminded me of her. I took quite a few cold showers that week. Though, they weren't quite as effective as I would have liked, since I was showering in her shower while she waited only a few dozen feet away, in her bed.

Renee seemed thrilled at the idea of having someone to cook for in the house. Each morning when we came down to the kitchen, I was greeted with the enticing aroma of bacon and eggs, or pancakes, or French toast, or any other breakfast concoction she could dream up. I would breathe deeply, and hum in response as I hurried down to grab a plate and load it up with Renee's offerings. For not eating human food herself, she was a great cook.

Bella would do her best to keep a smile planted on her face for my sake, but Jessica and Mike were slightly less diplomatic.

"Oh my Lord, what is that awful smell?" Jessica had yelled the first morning as she descended the stairs two at a time, her nose scrunched up in disdain.

"It's breakfast…for Edward," Renee had said, rolling her eyes.

I furrowed my brow, sniffing the food. It smelled, and tasted, delicious to me. "Does it really smell that bad to you?" I wondered.

"Just wait. Just you wait," Mike smirked, clapping a marble hand on my shoulder, causing my fork to fall from my hand and clatter to my plate.

Bella and I both grimaced at him, but for different reasons, I'm sure.

The night before the Volturi's scheduled arrival, I slept poorly. I tossed and turned and would startle myself awake, gasping and sweating against Bella's soft sheets. She would take me in her cool, firm arms and run her fingers through my damp hair, soothing me back to sleep. It was no use though. Finally, when the sky was still an inky purple, I gave up. Bella stroked my damp and matted hair and I could feel her eyes on my face in the dark.

"I'm sorry you can't sleep, love," she whispered, sadness in her voice as we both thought of the reason for my insomnia.

I sighed into her shoulder. "It's okay. I'm going to take a shower." It was Saturday, so there was no hurry to get ready, but I wanted to feel the relaxing steam of the hot water. I crawled out of bed and headed for the shower.

When I finished in the shower, I dressed quickly. The bedroom was empty, and I walked down the stairs searching for Bella. I found her sitting in the kitchen. Renee was making her usual enormous breakfast fare for me.

Bella looked up at me when I entered, a small smile playing on her face. I bent to kiss her quickly.

"Good morning, sweetheart," she said softly, pushing my still damp hair back. "You smell wonderful." She pressed her nose into my collar and her cool breath gave me chills.

"Good morning, Edward," Renee said. Her voice was cheerful but I could see the worry in her eyes.

I sat down to eat and Jessica and Mike wandered in soon after, fresh from an overnight hunting trip. Jessica turned her nose up at the smell of the bacon and eggs. I rolled my eyes at her and waved a forkful of eggs at her. She laughed and batted my hand away.

After a moment, the laughter died down as we looked around at each other, our faces somber as we each thought about what the day might bring. Charlie entered a few moments later, having taken the day off.

We weren't sure when exactly they would arrive. We only knew they would need to call in order for Bella to lower her shield. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't more than a little nervous about the fact that I was vulnerable and unprotected by Bella's shield. During her previous visit, Jane had tried to attack Charlie and Renee, even though she knew Bella's shield would protect them. What would happen when she inevitably tried to use it on me and found success?

After sitting around for a few hours, I couldn't take it any longer. It felt like the walls of the gigantic mansion were closing in on me.

"Bella, do you want to take a walk?" I asked, standing up and stretching. She nodded and took my hand as we headed out the back door. I looked up at the sky as we walked through the back lawn. It was a rare sunny day in Forks, and Bella's skin was sparkling brilliantly, but it didn't matter because we had no plans to be in public.

"Do we need to stay close by the house?" I asked.

Bella shook her head, "No, I've got my cell phone and Jessica will call if she hears anything. I may have to run you back, though," she smirked. I rolled my eyes, and we continued walking.

We followed the trail over the footbridge and across the river, moving deeper into the forest as we went. As I looked around the mossy green forest, it was hard to feel the gloom and doom that was so oppressive in the house. The sun shone brightly, and I could hear signs of wildlife all around us as we walked slowly along the path.

I didn't worry about getting lost with Bella. I knew her infallible senses would help us find our way back without any problem. Soon, we lost the path, and I could tell that we were very deep in the forest. We climbed a small ridge, and from the little clearing at the top we had a view the dense forest surrounding us on all sides.

"Do you want to rest for a minute, Edward?" Bella asked, pausing to look back at me.

I nodded. I hated to admit it, but I was slightly out of breath after the climb. I knew I didn't need to admit it. Bella was tuned into my body better than I was.

I found a large boulder and sat down, wishing I had thought to bring some water.

"Is it okay if we head back?" I asked. She didn't respond. "Bella?" I asked again before looking up at her. When I did, I was surprised by her sudden defensive posture. She was crouched low and her eyes were focused on a spot in the trees further down the ridge that I couldn't quite make out.

I'd seen this behavior from her before. Instead of asking her the thousand questions I wanted to, I stayed as still as possible on the boulder and waited for her to give me an explanation. After a few moments, when none was given, I grew impatient.

"Bella…?" I hissed as quietly as possible. Her head snapped to my face as if she'd forgotten I was here. Her eyes were wild and desperate.

"Edward…" Her voice was despondent and filled me with dread.

Before I could question her further, Jane stepped through the trees, a vindictive smile playing across her lips. My jaw fell open at the sight of her.

"Hello, Bella. Edward."

"Jane," Bella said simply.

"It's good to see you," Jane said, mockingly.

"Where are your friends?" Bella asked, her voice flat.

"Oh…around," Jane said vaguely, waving her hand in the air.

"You're out here all alone? I'm surprised. Shouldn't you be with your masters?" Bella asked, raising an eyebrow at Jane. The tiny vampire was edging ever closer to Bella, and I could see that Bella was doing everything she could to keep herself between us.

"My orders from my masters are really none of your concern," Jane snapped before changing the subject. "Something you should be concerned about however: you were holding out on me before, weren't you?" Jane smiled sweetly at Bella. I furrowed my brow, trying to follow their conversation.

"Well, you can understand why I didn't want to let you in on that little secret. I was surprised, however, that James didn't tell you." Bella's voice was low and dangerous.

At Bella's words, Jane's eyes flashed dangerously and her small jaw clenched. "It doesn't matter. I know now."

With that Jane looked around Bella and her eyes settled on my face. I felt complete and total paralyzing fear for a split second. Then, before I realized what was happening I felt the most excruciating pain rip through my entire body. My muscles tensed up, and I completely lost control, slipping off the boulder and hitting my head hard on one of its sharp planes on the way down. The pain in my head was nothing compared to the pain that was ripping through me as Jane held me in her sadistic gaze.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was aware of Bella's feral scream as she launched herself at the other vampire. I felt something warm oozing down my head and it became clear that I had another problem besides the pain. My blood was flowing freely now, pooling in a deep red puddle on the forest floor. I was in the presence of two vampires, one of which would not hesitate in the slightest to kill me. In fact, as I lay on the ground, dizzy and slowly losing consciousness, I knew that Jane would relish the opportunity to take my life.

Bella slammed into Jane, the impact sounding like two boulders colliding in mid air. She managed to break Jane's gaze, and the pain stopped immediately. I groaned, trying to catch my breath as I rolled on the ground. I couldn't seem to get my feet under me and I felt woozy. I tried to follow the sound of the two vampires' struggle, but my head kept swimming, and the trees above were spinning.

I felt my stomach clench in fear for Bella's safety. I knew she was strong, but so was Jane. I finally managed to push myself up on my elbow and lean against the large boulder I had been sitting on only a moment before. I glanced down at the ground, and felt my stomach roll at the sight of all the blood. Could I really have lost all that blood? I pulled my eyes away as my vision blurred, and finally located the blur of pale and brown that was Bella and Jane.

They were moving too fast for me to make out their individual forms. I could hear shrieks and growls; grinding and popping, but I was unable to tell which girl they were coming from.

"Bella…" I meant for the word to be a shout, but it sounded weak and low, my head spinning with the loss of blood.

Suddenly, I saw Bella fly across the tiny clearing atop the hill. I screamed in terror as her small body slammed into one of the ancient cedar trees. The tree shook and groaned under the impact and branches and needles rained down onto the forest floor as Bella landed in a tangled heap at the base of the tree. Before I knew what was happening, Jane was upon me. I tried to avoid her gaze, knowing what would happen, but as I tried to see if Bella was all right, Jane's eyes came into my line of sight.

I gritted my teeth in a vain attempt to suppress the scream that escaped my clamped lips. My vision blurred and blackened around the edges as she gazed down at me, grinning at the absolutely unbearable pain she was inflicting.

Jane bared her sharp teeth at me and drew nearer until she hovered over my throat, never breaking my gaze. She bent near enough that I could feel her cold wet breath on my throat. Finally she was too close to maintain eye contact, and for a split second I felt exquisite relief as the pain subsided. Before I could really enjoy it, however, a different, equally unbearable pain replaced it as her teeth tore at the flesh on my neck.

I cried out, and I could tell my cry was growing weaker as I lost even more blood to the vampire over me. I couldn't hear anything except a dull ringing in my ears as I sunk into the velvety darkness that surrounded me.


	29. Chapter 29: Bella Swan

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 29 BPOV

As we climbed the peak, I smiled back at Edward. He was trying to hide his shortness of breath from me. Would he ever realize how tuned into him I was? There was nothing he could hide from my watchful eye. I suggested that we rest though, and he readily agreed.

As Edward sat on a large stone, I looked across the expanse of dense forest beneath us, and thought about how strange it was that we hadn't heard from them yet. I had anticipated them arriving early in the day, but perhaps the nice weather was detaining them.

I pulled my cell phone from my pocket to check it for the hundredth time since we'd left the house; nothing. I sighed. It really was a beautiful day. If it weren't for the Volturi's impending visit hanging over us, I would have really enjoyed our little impromptu hike. I scanned the treetops again. The action was almost automatic. I wasn't really expecting anything. So when I felt something brush against the edge of my shield, I froze.

Fear pumped through my dead veins as I saw her. Jane. What was she doing here? I scanned the surrounding area and found no one else. She was alone. What could that mean? Why would she come back without the Volturi? I checked my shield and found it to be intact. That could mean only one thing. She knew. She knew that I couldn't protect Edward and she had sought him out. She had used him to find us.

I was furious with myself. How could I have been so careless? We should never have left the safety of the house. I quickly went through our options. Running was out of the question. Were I alone, I would have had a chance, but carrying Edward would mean she would catch us. I had my phone. Would I be able to get a call into Jessica before she reached us? I watched as she scaled the hill, lightning fast. No, I would have no time to make a call for help. We were on our own. The thought filled my stomach with absolute dread. We were alone, and I couldn't protect Edward.

I heard Edward's heart pound furiously and his breathing pick up as she came into his view. I gritted my teeth in frustration. I hated myself for placing him in danger, yet again.

I tried to place myself between the two of them, but it was no use. We exchanged a few words, I tried to understand why she was here alone, but I couldn't concentrate on the conversation. I was too busy worrying about how I would protect the one I loved. But it was no use. I failed. I heard his tortured scream as she looked upon him and hit him with the full force of her wicked gaze, and it was as if she were inflicting the pain on me. I felt actual physical pain for Edward's pain. I growled desperately as she smiled vindictively at him.

I had never had the misfortune of falling victim to Jane's sadistic talent, but I had been in the presence of others who had. Jane's talent, while completely psychological, was torturous for vampires to endure. Even though actual physical pain was not inflicted, the illusion of pain was torturous. I had never seen the gift exacted on a human, but I could only imagine the impact it would have on a frail, vulnerable human mind. Could it impact a human physically as well? I pushed the desperation that was welling up inside me back down. We were all alone up here, but somehow I had to stop her.

Edward's body locked up helplessly as the pain raced through him. I watched him tense and slip from the rock. I flinched as he hit his precious head on the boulder. I felt a fresh wave of panic when I smelled Edward's blood in the air. Jane smelled it too. Her pupils dilated, and she growled.

In the millisecond that all of this occurred, I crouched, and then launched myself across the clearing at her, knocking into her full force. Edward's screams ceased, and I was relieved to realize I had broken her concentration. My nails tore at her granite skin and I did everything I could to destroy the tiny, sadistic vampire.

I was gaining the upper hand on her. I felt her brushing ineffectively against the edges of my shield as she tried to use her terrible gift on me. I knew her cries meant my blows were hitting their mark. I growled savagely. I had never destroyed another vampire, but I wouldn't hesitate to tear her limb from limb and burn every piece of her for what she had done to Edward.

"Bella…" Shock and fear momentarily paralyzed me at the sound of his voice. It was so soft and weak. Jane took advantage of my momentary distraction, and before I could stop her, I felt myself being launched through the air. I cried out involuntarily as I came in contact with a tree. I groaned and was unable to move for a moment. I had never been hit so hard. It didn't hurt, but I felt dazed and disoriented, something I was not use to feeling.

Edward's screams brought me back to the moment. Jane had obviously made her way back to him and was unleashing her terrible gaze upon him once more. I knew I had to get up, but I couldn't seem to make my limbs cooperate. I looked down and realized they were all twisted the wrong direction. I groaned in frustration.

Edward stopped screaming for a moment and I felt relief mixed with anxiety. Why had he stopped screaming? I didn't have time enough to really wonder, because his awful keening started up again after only a split second. Only this was a different kind of scream that made my dead heart fill with dread as I tried once more with renewed effort to stand. I knew that kind of scream.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally got my legs to work correctly and wheeled around to where I had last seen Edward. I gasped as I saw Jane bent over him, her lips latched onto his throat. Panic rocked me and if it was possible, I felt physically ill at the sight.

"NO!" I screamed, darting towards her, my vision tinged red with rage. I collided with her with enough force to bowl her over and off of Edward. My scream was primal and desperate as I reached up and took her head in my hands, twisting and tearing, separating it from her body and tossing it away from me. It was as if I had been infused with strength beyond my own as I continued to tear the rest of her apart, piece-by-piece.

My breathing was ragged, and I was actually trembling with anger. I would gather the pieces and burn them later. Right now I had more important things to tend to.

Edward. I scrambled over to him. The red haze faded away from my eyes as I gazed down on his still form. His eyes were closed, and I couldn't hear his heart beat anymore.

"No!" I cried, dry sobs wracking my body. There was so much blood everywhere, it stung my nose and my throat, as if taunting me and reminding me of my epic failure. "No, Edward, can you hear me? Oh, baby, Edward. Sweetheart, hold on, please! No, no no!" This couldn't be happening. How could I have let this happen? The thought of how completely and wholly I had failed him was enough to make my chest tighten down to the point of making it impossible to breathe or even move.

"Bella!" My head snapped up as I saw Jessica and Mike enter the tiny clearing. They slowed, their noses prickling at the smell of Edward's fresh blood. I had been so focused on him that I hadn't even heard them approach.

"Jessica! Help! What do I do?" I cried desperately, my hands hovering over Edward's pale and lifeless body. She knelt down beside me, and I could tell she wasn't breathing. In the distance, I heard Mike begin to gather the torn pieces of Jane's mangled body and light a fire. I couldn't focus on him though. I could only focus on the pale and broken body that lay lifeless in my arms. I wouldn't be able to survive if…but I couldn't even think the words.

"Bella, listen to me. I can help you, but I can't breathe. It's too much. You're going to have to listen to me and do exactly what I say." She reached up and grabbed my chin, forcing my gaze away from Edward and up to her serious face. I nodded, and then pulled my head away from her, unable to keep my eyes away from Edward's still form.

I trusted Jessica. She had saved Mike. I knew if anyone could get us through this, it was her.

"Did she bite him?" Jessica's voice was repulsed.

"Yes," I said, my voice desperate and frantic.

"Can you smell the venom?"

I stopped for a moment and sniffed. I could smell Edward's blood, but it was not in the least bit enticing to me. I could also faintly smell Jane's venom, but it was weak, and not as strong as the smell of the blood that didn't seem to stop flowing around his head and neck wounds.

"A little, but I don't think she got very much in him before I pulled her off."

Jessica nodded, "Okay, we'll need to get more venom in him. But first we need to stop the bleeding. Give me your shirt."

I ripped the piece of fabric from my body and handed it to Jessica. She tore the fabric into strips and began winding them one by one around Edward's head and neck. The light fabric was immediately stained crimson. Jessica's pupils dilated and she hissed, backing a few feet away.

"I'm sorry, Bella. There's just so much blood," she called apologetically, her voice slightly muffled from the hand she held delicately over her mouth and nose.

"It's fine. What do I do now?" I asked, impatiently.

"You need to put pressure on the neck wound."

I pressed my hands into his wound. I could feel the warm blood seeping through the fabric of my shirt and it made me feel panicky. But as I pressed, I could tell the bleeding was slowing. After a moment, I couldn't feel the blood pulsing under my fingers as strongly as it had when I had first pressed my hands to the wounds.

"I think the bleeding is slowing," I called to my sister.

I could see Jessica nod out of the corner of my eye. "Good. Okay, now we need to get more venom in him."

There was no hesitation as I bent and pressed my lips to the other side of Edward's throat. I bit down and tasted his blood, but it held no appeal for me now. I concentrated on placing as much venom into his blood stream as possible. I licked the wound to seal it and then moved on to his elbows, wrists, anywhere I could think of to place more venom. I quickly pulled his shoes off and pushed his pant legs up and bit the insides of his ankles and knees.

"I can't feel his pulse anymore, Jess." I cried, my voice alarmed. The venom would do no good if his heart stopped.

She paused and I could tell she was listening for the sound of Edward's heart. After a moment, she quickly shook her head and scooted back over to us. "We have to keep his heart moving." She joined her palms and began compressing them against his chest. I heard the sluggish organ beat under her forceful coercion. But would it be enough?

I left her to her ministrations as I continued to infuse my venom into Edward wherever possible. The smell of my venom was stronger now, and I could hear Jessica regularly manipulating Edward's heart into continuing to beat.

When I had bitten Edward in every possible location I could think of, sometimes twice just to be sure, I took over for Jessica. Not because she was tired, but because I wanted to be the one to keep his heart beating.

"Come on, baby. You can do this. Keep your heart going for me!" I practically shouted at him in desperation. "Please, don't leave me. I can't do this without you…stay with me, please, Edward," I cried, bringing my face close to his and kissing his cool cheeks. My eyes ached to shed the tears they no longer held.

I smelled the venom spreading throughout his body, and suddenly, without warning his heart took off on its own, leaving my hands to flutter uselessly on his chest.

"Oh!" I cried, surprised.

Jessica smiled and nodded. "This is what you want to happen. It means the venom has reached his heart and is taking over. It should spread now on its own and complete the conversion."

"So we weren't…too late…?" I faded off, unwilling to hope but afraid not to. I gazed down at Edward. He didn't look any different than he had when I had pulled Jane off of him. He was perfectly still and deathly pale and covered in his own crimson blood.

"No, I think he's going to be okay," Jessica said, rubbing my arm reassuringly.

Mike came back then. "It's all taken care of," he said, simply and all I could do was nod at him in gratitude. He nodded back at me, patting my shoulder and squatting down next to us. "I can hear his heart again, that's good," he said as he smiled encouragingly.

I nodded and closed my eyes, listening to the sluggish thug of Edward's hopefully changing heart. This was not the way I wanted this to happen. He would have no closure now. I didn't even want to think about what we were going to tell his parents. I cursed Jane under my breath to the deepest, fiery pits of hell. I cast a dark look over at the pillar of purple smoke that once was the Volturi's most sadistic little vampire. Another thought occurred to me as I thought about her.

"How did you know where to find us? Where are the Volturi?" I asked, looking back and forth from Jessica to Mike.

Jessica cast a quick look at Mike before answering my first question. "James called."

My brow furrowed, "What?"

"James called because he felt guilty about ratting us out to the Volturi about Edward. He wanted to warn you that Jane was on her way. He was still in Volterra, but he didn't realize Jane had already been dispatched. We told him about her visit last week, and about our expected visit from the Volturi, and he said that was impossible. He had just been to the tower an hour ago and saw Aro, Marcus, and Caius himself." Jessica paused and let the implications of her words sink in. I was still lost. "Jane was sent here by the Volturi to investigate, but once she did, she reported back to them that there was no human among our family, and no laws had been broken. The leaders must have believed that James fabricated the story out of jealousy. They never knew of Edward's existence, and never planned to come here," she finished quietly.

My head spun, and I was even more confused. "Why would she do that?"

Mike shrugged. "According to James, when he showed up in Volterra a few weeks ago, Jane became quite enamored with him. He rejected her, telling her he still had feelings for you. Personally, I think it had more to do with Jane being a petulant child," Mike added, smirking slightly. "Jane doesn't strike me as the type to take rejection very well." Mike smirked as he gazed at the pile of now smoldering ashes across the way.

"So, the Volturi were never coming?" I asked, still feeling hazy.

Both Michael and Jessica shook their heads.

"So, Edward is suffering because Jane was…jealous of me?" I felt the renewed fury in my voice. I sighed and looked across the forest. "Jane's plan all along was to wait until Edward and I were alone and vulnerable…" I muttered.

Jessica nodded. "That's what we figured. When James told us what had really happened in Volterra, we realized that you two were in danger, so we followed your scent and found you here." She shook her head sadly, and her gaze fell on Edward. "I'm just sorry we didn't get here a few minutes sooner."

"Did James tell her that I can't shield Edward?" I found it unlikely, otherwise she would have unleashed on him during her first visit.

Mike and Jessica both shook their heads, but it was Mike who spoke. "James said he didn't tell her. She must have stumbled upon Edward's scent, and then followed it to find you. When she could locate Edward, it probably didn't take her long to realize that you were unable to shield him."

I shook my head, pressing my hands to my temples. "If…when…we get through this, please remind me to stop traipsing alone through the forest with Edward."

Jessica and Mike both chuckled darkly.

"So…what do we do now?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want to move Edward in his still fragile condition, but I didn't like the thought of being out here alone in the forest. I wanted us back at the house.

Jessica shrugged. "We wait. We can move him soon, but probably not yet."

The three of us sat side by side around Edward, my eyes never leaving his unmoving form as the forest grew darker. His heart continued to thud rhythmically, and we could all smell the venom now.

There were a million things that needed to be done. We would have to come up with a cover story for his parents, we would have to find some place to relocate to when Edward woke up, we needed to verify James' story regarding the Volturi; but as I sat in the gathering darkness of the forest, I couldn't focus on any of those things. What if something went wrong? What if we had been too late? What if he had already lost too much blood? What if we hadn't done enough? He was so still and quiet, could the venom really be spreading through him?

"Jess…?" I asked quietly. She looked up at me in response. "When does the…screaming start? You know…from the pain." I was loath to think of Edward being in pain, but I knew it was going to be necessary in order for the transformation to be complete. At least it would let us know that things were progressing down the right path.

As if in response to my question, Edward's lips parted. His whole body shook, and I felt a shudder of fear rip through me as his eyes snapped open. They whirled wildly around, seeing nothing.

"Edward?" I whispered, placing my hand just above his chest, afraid to touch him. There was no indication that he heard me. His eyes continued to wheel around uncontrollably, unseeing. His breathing began to come in short, quick gasps. I looked at Jessica my eyes wide with alarm, but she was watching Edward.

"Jess—" I began, but my question was cut off by the most tortured, pained, keening scream I had ever heard. I looked back down at Edward, my mouth open in mute horror, then back up at Jessica.

Her face was grave as she met my gaze. "Now," she answered simply.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 30

There was nothing. I could feel nothing. I was nothing. I was floating, weightless and formless in a black void. I couldn't remember where I was, or even who I was.

I floated higher and higher, drifting away, farther and farther from something that I couldn't quite remember. The darkness was soft and welcoming and I let it envelope me.

Surprisingly, in the midst of the nothingness that surrounded me, I became aware of a voice. I didn't know who it belonged to, or where it came from, or even what it was saying, but it grew louder in the darkness.

"Edward!" the voice yelled and its tone was frantic. The name seemed familiar, but I wasn't sure why. The voice was yelling to hold on. For a reason I couldn't identify, the voice held me and kept me from continuing to float away into nothingness. I was puzzled because the blank void of nothingness was extremely appealing, but the voice entreated me to stay and, inexplicably I wanted to heed its call.

As I drifted, suspended in nothingness, unable to continue to float away, but unable to return, suddenly I heard more voices. There was more yelling and the voices seemed frantic, especially the first one.

Abruptly, I was yanked out of the soft, dark nothingness with a painful jolt. I realized what I was tethered to: my body. I now felt painful, hot flames licking at me; my throat, my arms, and my legs. Everywhere.

Suddenly, it felt as if there was a thousand pound weight on my chest. I couldn't breathe under the weight. The pressure continued to push down rhythmically, never ceasing. If I could have found my limbs, I would have been flailing to get out from under it. But I couldn't find myself. The pain told me I had a body, but I couldn't find it.

I felt the first voice draw closer to me, and it was soft and pleading and desperate. "Please, don't leave me. I can't do this without you…stay with me, please, Edward." I realized with a start that I was Edward. While I couldn't bring myself to identify the voice, I wanted to listen to it. I wanted to stay with the voice.

All at once, I could feel my heart. It began to race and pound harder than I had ever felt it beat before. Accompanying my heartbeat was a fire unlike any other that lapped and singed through my body.

The voices continued, but the incessant hammering of my heart drowned their words out. With every thump, the fire spread and expanded through my veins. I gritted my teeth together and realized I could feel my arms now. I dug my fingers into what must have been soft dirt underneath me.

When I could take it no longer, my mouth fell open, and the scream that fell from my lips was foreign and tortured. The fire continued to rip through my veins with every pump of my heart. I found my arms and reached up to claw at my chest, trying to rip it out. I felt cool hands restraining my hands, and I growled in frustration.

"Edward, please. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." The voice returned to my ear. It was soft and persuasive, and so familiar. It seemed that the more I screamed, the more agonized the voice was in my ear. For a reason I still couldn't identify, I didn't want to make this voice suffer. So, I gritted my teeth together and swallowed my screams as much as possible, letting them escape only when I absolutely could take no more.

The screaming didn't help anyway. The fire and the pain continued to rip ruthlessly through my body. My fingers clawed uselessly in the dirt, unable to gain any purchase or relieve my suffering in any way. I felt my back arch and twist.

There was no way to mark time. The voice never seemed to leave me, and it was dark behind my unseeing eyes at all times.

Finally, something changed. Relief from the ruthless flames did not come, but something changed. I felt my charred and battered body leave the ground as strong, cool arms surrounded me.

The voice was in my ear again. "Edward, we're going home. You'll be a little more comfortable there." The words were foreign somehow, and I struggled to understand them, but I trusted the voice.

It didn't feel like we were moving, but it was hard to concentrate with the fire that continued to tear through me with a vengeance. Some time later—it could have been moments or days—the arms that held me were replaced by something smooth and cold, perhaps a table.

The cool surface did nothing to alleviate the raging inferno inside me. My heart continued to pump the flames further and further through my body with no sign of relief.

As I lay there, I slowly became more aware of my surroundings. I still couldn't open my eyes or see, but I was aware of the presence that never seemed to leave my side. There was still no way to tell how much time I had spent there, but as I became more aware, I decided to test out various parts of my body to see if they would move.

I had to concentrate for what felt like a very long time to find my foot. While the fire had not diminished one bit, I found that after thinking about it for a long time I could locate and move my toes. I wiggled them back and forth, and doing so didn't seem to intensify the pain at all.

I decided to try my hands next. I was pleased to find I could twist my wrists back and forth, and stretch my fingers, clenching and unclenching my fists.

"Edward…" the voice next to me whispered. I was about to open my mouth to try to speak when something changed.

Oh, how it changed. My heart, which had already been pounding out a furious rhythm, began to pump even faster. As it pumped, it pushed the fire through my veins even faster, causing the pain to intensify exponentially.

My mouth was still open, but instead of speaking all I could do was scream.

"Jessica!" the voice called. I lost track of what was happening around me after that. I was unable to concentrate on anything other than the furious thumping of my heart and the agonizing fire in my veins.

I gasped as my heart battered against my ribs furiously. Suddenly, I realized that the fire was gone from my fingers and toes. The trade off for the coolness that spread throughout my outer extremities was that the fire became impossibly hotter in the rest of my body.

I felt my body twist and writhe desperately as the fire both cooled in some parts and became intolerably more intense in others at the same time. I somehow knew that it was coming to an end, though. There was no way my body could continue to sustain the impossible inferno that was raging through it.

The flames continued to draw closer inward, leaving my arms and legs deliciously cool. I gasped and drew my arms around my chest as my heart thundered in my chest, taking its last desperate beats, consuming the last of the flames.

"Oh!" I cried out as my heart pounded one more time before it was still. I lay perfectly motionless on the table, eyes still closed. It took me a moment to realize that the excruciating pain that had been my existence for so long was finally gone. Only a ghost of it remained in the back of my throat.

"Edward…?" The familiar voice was close by, but there were other voices near also. The voices all seemed to be talking at once and I couldn't discern anything they were saying.

The voices swirled around me, disembodied, and I was surprised at how easily it was to focus on them with one small part of my brain, while still leaving the majority of it free to think of other things.

For example, I could hear the wind rustling through the trees outside. I could hear the soft buzz of insects flying in and out of the branches. It was no challenge to hear the occasional whir of tires of a passing car on the pavement on the road at the end of the long driveway. Somewhere I could hear the electric buzz of a television set and the soft swirling drone of a fan blowing air around a room.

I was also aware that there were exactly four other presences in the room with me. Although I couldn't identify them, I could hear their soft, even breathing and the rustle of fabric as they moved around the room. One was very close to me, the others spread throughout the room more randomly.

I opened my eyes slowly. I sat up quickly. There was no processing time for the action. I simply thought it, and it was done.

I looked around. The faces around me were strange, and I furrowed my brow, a soft growl escaping from my chest. The faces became grave and each one stepped back, save one.

I pricked my ears. I could hear voices all around me, but none of them seemed to be coming from those in the room with me. Confused, I shook my head.

"Edward…you're okay. Do you know where you are?" It was the voice I had heard so often while I had lay burning. I turned to the face that was closest to me.

"Bella…" I whispered. Of course I knew that voice. It matched the beautiful face that was standing before me. It was Bella, my Bella. I reached up to stroke her beautiful face but as I did so the voices swirling around me became alarmed.

Confused once again, I whipped my head around. The faces of the others in the room were anxious, but no one was speaking. Where were those voices coming from?

"Who is that?" I growled and I was startled by my own voice. It was new and different. I looked back at Bella, and her brow furrowed.

"I can hear voices, but no one is talking!" I exclaimed, whipping my head around furiously, trying to understand what was happening.

"Bella…think something without saying it aloud," a quiet voice said in the distance. It was different from the other voices, yet sounded very similar.

_I hope he's okay. I will die if he's not. I love him so much._

I grinned at Bella. "I love you too. I'm okay."

Her smile faded and was replaced by a shocked expression. My own smile faded. What was wrong?

"Edward…" she gasped.

I furrowed my brow in frustration and felt another low growl escape my lips.

The cluster of voices sounded again.I grabbed my temples, the confusing and unexplained noise was making my head spin.

"Edward, it's okay. Do you know what happened?" Bella was by my side, her voice low and soothing.

I shook my head desperately.

"Jane attacked you. There was a lot of blood, Edward. We had to change you…" Her voice faded off, and for the first time there was silence around me. I thought about her words. I thought about my voice and my vision, all the things that I had not taken the time to notice since I'd awoken.

"I'm…a vampire now?" I asked, turning to look at Bella's exquisite face.

She nodded and smiled.

_Is he going to hate me for this? He should. I deserve it. I've failed him so often._

My brow furrowed again, "Bella, I could never hate you. I love you. This is what I wanted. Now we can be together forever. You haven't failed me."

Bella looked confused again, and glanced warily over at the other people in the room.

The voices began to sound again, and I covered my ears.

"Edward, are you…" Bella looked at me cautiously, "I think you are reading our thoughts," she finished warily.

I thought about her words. My mind seemed so open and spacious now; it was nothing to think about what Bella had said while still listening to the jumble of voices that surrounded me. All the while, I was able to pick out the surrounding noises in the forest and throughout the house.

"Well, that's…odd," I said, looking around. "Is that why I can hear all those voices around me? Are they your thoughts?"

One of the people in the room stepped closer, and I realized belatedly that it was Jessica. I smiled at her as she approached.

_You're not going to hurt me, are you, Edward._

I shook my head, grinning at her. She returned my smile with a brilliant one of her own. She turned back to the others.

"Have you ever seen anything like it, Charlie?" she asked.

As soon as she pointed him out, I recognized him. Charlie shook his head, his eyes never leaving me. Next to him, Michael was eyeing me warily, and on his other side Renee was watching me with a kind smile on her face.

"We can worry about that later," Bella said from my side. As she spoke, I remembered she was there and twisted to face her. If I had thought she was beautiful with my human eyes, she was absolutely stunning seen through my new eyes.

"Bella, you're beautiful," I breathed, reaching up to stroke her face. When my hand came in contact with her, the skin there felt soft and warm and I was startled. I gasped and drew my hand away and looked back and forth between it and her face.

"What's wrong, love?" she asked, her eyes concerned.

"You're…warm," I breathed, reaching out to touch her again.

She smiled, relief evident in her eyes, "We're the same temperature now, silly. Are you thirsty?"

I had been thinking about how our skin matched now, but as soon as the words left her mouth, I felt the old fire rip through the back of my throat. I winced slightly as I was reminded of the awful fire that had scorched through my entire body. This fire, however, was only centered in the back of my throat.

"Yes…" I whispered, nodding vigorously, my throat suddenly parched.

Bella smiled and held her hand out to me. I looked down and grasped it and was again surprised by its softness and its temperature. "Let's go then."


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 31

"I'm not sure if I can do this…" I hissed.

Bella's voice was low and reassuring. "Edward, you'll be fine. This is nothing. It's all instinct now."

We were standing in the forest under a huge pine tree. My newly heightened sense of smell had detected a herd of elk grazing nearby, and now I could hear them softly snorting and pawing at the damp earth. I could also hear their large, strong hearts wetly glugging and pushing their blood through their veins. The sound made my throat burn and my mouth water slightly.

"Just close your eyes and let your instincts guide you," Bella whispered, placing her hand lightly on my arm. The action distracted me for a moment and I looked down at her slender arm. I reached up and stroked her now warm and soft face and smiled. She returned my smile and leaned into my hand.

"Not that I mind the diversion, but aren't you thirsty, love?" she asked, smirking lightly.

I groaned as her words cued the raging fire in my throat. I nodded and turned my attention back to the elk in the clearing.

Despite the raging inferno in the back of my throat, I felt nervous and unsure of what to do. How could I do this? I had seen Bella hunt before and was doubtful that I could ever do something like that. She was poetry in motion, and I couldn't imagine myself ever being nearly as graceful or fluid. The elk shifted slightly, wafting their enticing scent my way, triggering the burn again.

I closed my eyes and let the sounds around me sink into my consciousness. There were five of them. One was larger than the others, probably male. He was the closest to us, flanked on either side by what were most likely smaller females. The other two were further back in the clearing, their heartbeats slightly fainter.

I paused for a moment to marvel at myself. It didn't seem to matter to my newly infallible vampire senses that I couldn't see the animals. Also, my lightning quick mind had summed up this information in less than a second.

I breathed deeply, and the scent that filled my nose triggered my raging thirst again. I felt a low growl escape my lips and glanced quickly over at Bella. She nodded encouragingly and that, coupled with the fire that clawed at my parched throat, was all the motivation I needed.

I took off through the forest like a shot. I was running faster than I'd ever run before, but everything was still crystal clear. I could see everything, from the sharp, spiny branches of the tall trees to each soft, feathery fern blanketing the lush forest floor, even though they were darting by impossibly fast and should have been nothing but blurry masses. The elk finally came into view as I broke through the clearing. I was surprised by the fact that they did not immediately scatter at my entrance. Then, with shock, I realized that they were still unaware of my presence. I had entered the clearing without making a sound.

I locked my eyes on the large male, letting the sound of his heartbeat permeate my consciousness. My eyes never leaving his massive form, I leapt through the clearing. I could hear Bella trailing closely behind me. Without even thinking about it, I launched myself toward the huge male, grabbing him swiftly around the neck. He snorted riotously in surprise, but he was no match for my super quick reflexes and iron grip. I took him down easily, his massive hooves flailing madly in the air.

Using the beast's wildly thumping heart to guide me, I held him firmly around the neck, swiftly latching onto his throat, cutting through to the pulsing lifeblood underneath the tissue and muscle. I groaned and closed my eyes as my parched throat was finally satiated.

The elk continued to thrash about wildly for a few moments, and then finally he grew still as I continued to drink deeply from his throat. All too soon, the beast was drained. I groaned and tossed his lifeless body aside. I glanced up for the first time and noticed Bella leaning against a tree, arms folded, and an amused expression on her face.

_He is so beautiful. Look at him. Immortality suits him._

I grinned at her thoughts that ran clearly through my head, as if she had spoken them aloud.

"Thank you," I said, answering her unspoken compliment. Her eyes narrowed for a moment before she shook her head at me.

"That's going to take some getting used to," she mused, one eyebrow raised.

I smiled sheepishly. Then, as my throat began to ache and burn again, changed the subject. "Does the thirst ever go away?" I was loping towards her and wiped my mouth against the back of my hand. I looked down at my appearance. Even though the elk had posed no problem for my new enhanced physical abilities, I looked like I had been rolling around on the forest floor, which I guessed I had. I reached down and brushed off my leaf and bracken covered pants.

She shook her head sadly at me as I approached. "Not completely. But you get used to it. It will get better. You're young." She reached up and picked a leaf out of my hair. "Plus, herbivores like elk are less satisfying than carnivores. Do you want to hunt some more or are you finished?"

I thought about it for a split second, weighing the burning in my throat against my curiosity for more information about my new life. I had a million questions, and a million more things that I wanted to try. But the burn made itself known again, and I shook my head. Perhaps it would be a little easier to concentrate once my thirst had been satisfied a little more.

"I think I should try to hunt some more."

Bella nodded and took my hand. "Come on then," she smiled.

And we were off. We were both darting through the forest, our speed creating a soft breeze that swept across my face and blew Bella's long brown hair back behind her. Even though we were running super fast, we never broke contact. I was surprised again at how clear everything was. I could see as if we were standing still, not tearing through the trees. I was also surprised that, although we ran for a considerable distance, I did not feel short of breath or tired in any way.

Of course, all of the things I was discovering about my new body and mind were things I already knew from my time with Bella, Jessica, and Mike; but hearing about the abilities of others and experiencing those abilities first hand were two entirely different things.

For instance, Bella had told me many times that vampires did not need to breathe. However, as I ran through the forest and took in deep breath after deep breath and felt no relief from the action, I realized the implications of her words. I could now go indefinitely without oxygen. The concept was a little staggering, even for my new spacious vampire mind.

Then there was the whole issue of apparently being able to read minds. That discovery had been shocking and overwhelming, especially at the house, where all the voices had seemed to be all talking over each other at once in an attempt to invade my brain. Here in the solitude of the forest, with only Bella's quiet and reassuring thoughts, it seemed a little more manageable. I had a million questions about my newfound ability. What were the limitations? How far away could I be from someone and still read their thoughts? Could I read everyone's thoughts or just other vampires? The questions raced through my head on an unending loop as we ran, and I knew that only time would provide the answers I sought.

Bella pulled my arm, breaking me from my thoughts and bringing us to a stop under a large tree. She looked up, and I immediately followed her gaze. My keen eyesight zeroed in on the top most branches of the massive tree. There, through the thick boughs I could both see and hear a massive mountain lion, its oversized paws padding softly along the branches as it climbed higher and higher. I heard its blood swishing through its veins and my throat ached, much more acutely than it had with the elk.

I glanced at Bella. She smiled encouragingly, nodding swiftly, and I leapt vertically onto the tree's lowest branch, landing with silent feet, automatically steadying myself. After pausing momentarily, I leapt again and again, gaining height with each movement. Soon, I was parallel with the huge cat. At this close proximity, it smelled so much more appealing than the elk had, and the fire licked the back of my throat.

The cat still had not noticed me, so I sprang at it, grabbing it deftly around its substantial neck. While my aim was true, I had underestimated the width of the branch and my feet slipped from under me. I felt myself falling and clung tighter to the surprised and furious mountain lion. We tumbled down through the branches, hitting several on our way down. In the back of my mind, I knew that the boughs should be ripping and tearing at my skin, however I felt them merely brush against me, causing no damage and absolutely no pain. I landed on the ground and I felt the soft earth sink in several inches under the impact of my body.

The lion landed on top of me and I didn't waste a moment. I found its pulse point and sunk my teeth in, the fire in my throat dulling more than it had with the elk as the warm blood filled my mouth. It screamed and protested in vain. Soon, as I filled myself with more of its blood, its cries became quieter until they finally cut off with a strangled ripple.

I threw it off of me, suddenly disgusted by the limp carcass. I pushed my hands into the earth and sprang up onto my feet in one deft movement. Once again, Bella was standing by, watching me with amusement.

"You're quite good at this, you know." She smiled, walking towards me.

"Really?" I grinned at her. Bella was the most beautiful and graceful creature I had ever seen; to think that I could be even a fraction as graceful as she, made me extremely happy. As I looked down at my once again disheveled appearance however, I knew that I was not yet as efficient a hunter as she.

She reached me, and I felt a surge of love run through me.

"I love you so much, Bella," I whispered as I took her in my arms. She no longer felt like a cool marble statue. She was soft and warm as I wrapped my arms around her. I reached down and looked into her eyes. She exhaled slowly and I groaned.

"You still smell just as delicious, Bella," I growled. With that, I pressed my lips to hers. They were no longer unyielding stone but warm and soft and willing. I ran my hands down her shoulders and back and then back up her sides. She wrapped her small arms around me and pressed herself against me tightly.

She was leaning against a tree and I placed a hand on either side of her face, increasing the amount of contact I had with her body.

"Bella…" I groaned, pulling away from her mouth and placing small kisses all along her jaw and down her throat. She tilted her head to give me better access, and I heard her moan softly.

My mind raced as I realized that all of the reasons that Bella had given for us not to be together physically were gone. I was no longer a weak fragile human. I was strong and her equal and I smiled against her lips.

My hands moved deftly to her shirt. I had no trouble with the buttons there. I heard her gasp as she realized my intentions. Her thoughts were a confused jumble, and I smiled at the thought of what my touch was doing to her. I ran my hands over her soft shoulders, pushing her shirt out of the way. She shivered against my lips.

"Edward…" she moaned.

"Bella…" I echoed.

"Edward, wait…" she reached up and pushed against my shoulders.

Confused, I growled softly. Unwillingly, I stepped back from her.

"What's wrong?" I asked defensively, my pride dangerously close to being injured. Her thoughts were still a tangle and gave me no insight about her intentions.

"Nothing's wrong, Edward. I just don't want this to happen…here…" she trailed off, looking around us and motioning to the forest floor.

Understanding dawned as her thoughts became clearer and reinforced her words.

"But you do want it to…happen?" I asked, eyeing her warily.

Her mind was suddenly full of flashes of what I assumed was exactly what she wanted to happen, and I groaned, pressing myself against her again. She nodded, placing kisses up and down my neck.

"Where?" I growled.

"Home," she whispered breathily.

Without another word, I scooped her up in my arms, surprised and pleased at how easy the task was. I pressed her against me and began running as fast as I could in the direction of the house. I was amazed at how easy it was for me to find my way. Our trail blazed in a haze of our scents that was unmistakable as I ran through the dense forest. In no time at all, we were back at the house. I leapt lithely up the steps and through the back door, still holding Bella in my arms.

Somewhat oblivious to our surroundings, I was heading for the stairs when Jessica caught my attention.

"Edward, Bella," she called. I would have ignored her and kept going, but her tone made me pause.

I turned to look at her, setting Bella down lightly on her feet. She looked up at me sheepishly, and straightened her clothes. I realized she had somehow managed to button her shirt back up during our short trip, and I was grateful.

Jessica ignored our obviously tousled appearances and continued. "We may have a slight problem on our hands." The tone of her voice was serious, and her eyes were worried as she flickered back and forth between our faces. "Renee just got off the phone with Edward's mother again. She's frantic and insists that she's on her way over."

I looked down at Bella with alarm. My parents. I felt shame wash over me as I realized that I had not even thought about them since I had awoken. There had been so much else to occupy my focus.

Bella's expression was horrified as she gaped at her sister. "What are we going to do? We need to leave. We can't stay here. It's not safe, he's only hours old. What are we going to do?" Her thoughts echoed her panicked tone as she rambled on at a rapid pace.

"No," I interrupted. "Wait…You said Renee was speaking to my mom _again_. She's called before? What have you told her?"

Bella sighed and turned to face me. I picked her thoughts out of her head before she spoke, but I waited for her to speak anyway. "We told her that you were sick and couldn't come to school. That was three days ago, Edward. I don't think she bought it then, and she obviously hasn't been convinced by your absence."

I stared at her incredulously. "That was the best you could come up with? I'm shocked they haven't tried to beat down the door before now. Sick...My dad's a doctor for crying out loud…!" I shook my head and trailed off.

Bella's eyes flashed angrily. "I'm sorry, Edward. We didn't exactly get to plan this out. We sort of panicked. It doesn't matter now. We have to leave," she urged, pulling on my arm insistently.

I shook her hand off gently. "No, Bella. I don't want to just leave. I owe my parents more than that."

"Edward, you're not ready," she said softly.

"I can handle it, I know I can!" I insisted, my voice urgent and desperate. I kept picturing my mother's face, and I couldn't stand the thought of leaving her without giving her something.

Bella shook her head adamantly. "You're only hours old. You haven't even smelled human blood yet. Do you really think that your mother is the best person to test your resistance on?"

Bella's thoughts flashed with images of what I could only assume were her own experiences with weakness. Her thoughts caused my throat to burn exponentially more than it had with the elk or the cougar as they filtered into my head unchecked. I worked hard to push them aside and my mother's face replaced them. I growled and felt determination set in.

"No. I can do this," I said, the tone of my voice unwavering.

"You need to see something." It was Jessica who interrupted and pushed against my shoulders. She led me down the hall and into the bathroom. I furrowed my brow at her. What was she doing? I scanned her thoughts. It was getting a little easier to focus only on the thoughts I wanted to pay attention to, although it was still difficult to filter out and make sense of the myriad of other thoughts wandering through my mind.

She flicked the light switch on, and I realized that I didn't need the additional light to see around the room clearly. "Edward, look in the mirror."

I turned towards the mirror and felt my breath catch automatically. The reflection staring back at me was strange and startling. The shock of messy bronze hair was familiar, however the face below it was bizarre. My already pale skin now had a more chalky hue. My face looked different somehow, with sharp planes and angles that had not been present in my face before.

I glanced down at my body. I had been fairly well built before, but now it seemed that the muscles and sinews under my skin were even more enhanced and solid.

Despite all of the obvious changes to my new body, the most shocking aspect of my new incredible face had to be the eyes. I couldn't stop looking at them. The vivid green of my human eyes was gone, replaced by an intense, startling crimson. They were an even brighter red than what I remembered of James' or Jane's frightening eyes.

"Whoa…" I breathed, unable to peel my eyes away from my reflection.

_Now you see the problem. _

I nodded. "Yes. This is a problem," I murmured.

"Edward, Jess…" Bella's voice sounded from the living room. It was tense and strained, and both Jessica and I were by her side in a second.

I opened my mouth to ask Bella what was wrong, but the sound of a car door shutting answered my question.

"She's here. We're out of time."


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 32

_Look at me. Focus._

Bella took my head in her hands as her thoughts began to permeate my mind. She was staring intently in my eyes. I pushed down the panic that was bubbling up, and tried to focus on the memories that were coming at me. I groaned as I began to see flashes through Bella's eyes of every memory she had of her encounters with humans. Accompanying the memories was her remembrance of their scent and how they made her throat ache and burn.

My own throat flamed at the vicarious experiences.

_This is the best I can do right now to try and prepare you. Your mother is coming and she will smell irresistible to you. But you must resist._

I nodded and took a deep breath out of habit. At the sound of the doorbell, Bella dropped her hands from my face.

_I love you. You can do this. I am so proud of you, Edward. I know you can handle this. It won't be easy, and it will be extremely painful, but I know you can get through this. I'm right here, baby._

She led me over to the couch and pushed me down, sinking down beside me and placing a hand on my knee. The curtains were not drawn, but the room was semi dark in the gathering twilight, and the couch was partially in shadow. My mother wouldn't be able to see the blood red tint of my frightening new eyes. Wordlessly Charlie and Renee came and stood behind me on either side. I glanced up at them, grateful for their reassuring presence. Jessica moved to the door and glanced over at us briefly before turning the knob and pulling the door open.

As the door swung open, I heard my mom's worried voice immediately.

"Where is my son, Jessica? What is going on here?" she demanded. Jessica stepped aside as my mother pushed her way through the door.

As soon as she was in the room, her scent hit me like a wrecking ball. I could hear her heart pumping loudly from across the room. The smell was like nothing I had ever experienced; even Bella's memories didn't do it justice. It caused the ever present fire in my throat to surge painfully, and suddenly it was all I could do to not launch myself across the room at her. I dug my fingers into the fabric of the cushion. I felt the fabric tear and give beneath my iron grip, but ignored it. I felt a feral snarl bubbling up through my chest.

Charlie and Renee each placed a hand on my shoulder. Their touch was meant to be reassuring, but I could tell that it was a restraining grip as well. Unconsciously, I calculated my odds of being able to shrug them off and escape in order to get to her.

_You can do this. Resist, Edward. This is your mother._ Bella's calm thoughts broke through the bloodlust that was threatening to overtake me. Her words helped to clear the haze a little as I looked at my mother's face. This was my mother. Immediately, I knew that I couldn't live with myself if I ever did anything to harm her. But would that knowledge be enough to keep me rooted to my seat instead of tearing across the room like every cell in my new body ached to do? It had to be, for now. I closed my eyes and fought the urge to take a breath. I didn't need to breathe, so for the moment I simply would not.

"He's right here. Jessica said softly, gesturing in my direction, the worry in her voice unmistakable. Esme's surprise at Jessica's immediate surrender was evident. She had obviously been prepared to argue a little longer. She turned in the direction Jessica had indicated, and her mouth fell open a little. I tried to focus in on her thoughts.

_Edward? Is that my Edward? Oh! What have they done to him? _

"Mom..." I said, and immediately regretted it. My voice was all wrong, I could tell by both her face and the panicked thoughts that raced through her head. I continued anyway. "Mom, it's me." I tried to keep my voice reassuring, even though I knew it wouldn't be. I felt my air supply diminishing and realized that, while I didn't need air to breathe, I did need it to speak. That was going to be a problem.

"Wha...what happened...?"

How would I ever explain any of this to her?

"Mom, I can't really explain, but you have to trust me. I'm fine. In fact, I'm better than fine." My air was almost gone, I glanced over at Bella and smiled as she returned my smile and squeezed my hand.

My mom followed my gaze and glanced back and forth between Bella and me.

"Oh, Edward..." Her voice was sad, and she shook her head slowly.

"Esme," Bella cut in. "I know this is all very overwhelming. Believe me when I tell you that we never meant for any of this to happen, but it has, and we're dealing with the consequences." Her words were vague and cryptic but reassuring. "I know that we've done nothing to earn your trust, but I hope that you can accept that we will take good care of Edward."

Esme furrowed her brow at Bella's words. "What do you mean you'll take good care of him? He needs to come home, where he belongs."

"Mom, Bella and I will be leaving soon," I said looking down at the floor, unable to meet her gaze. My air was completely gone. I prolonged the inevitable as long as possible.

Her thoughts took on a new panicky edge that seeped through to her voice. "Leaving? Edward, that's impossible. Come on, let's go home…" As she spoke, I could tell from her thoughts that she wasn't really even sure that's what she wanted. She knew that somehow, impossibly I had changed and that things were different now.

Charlie cleared his throat politely and cut in. "Mrs. Cullen, I know this must be very difficult for you. As Edward said already, we're not going to be able to really explain any of this to your satisfaction. But please know that the unbelievable changes that you see in Edward have occurred because of a conscious choice that he made."

She glanced from Charlie's sincere face to mine and furrowed her brow. "Is that true, son? You chose to be…like this?"

It was time to take a breath. I closed my eyes and quickly sucked in a deep breath. I winced as the fire roared painfully up my throat when her scent hit me once again. I let thoughts of her face permeate my mind as I fought the desire to move towards her. All around me I felt calm soothing thoughts from my new family.

_You can do this. _

_You're doing so well. _

_We believe in you. _

_Be strong._

When I finally felt like I had control, if only a tiny sliver, I opened my eyes and nodded. "I didn't mean for it to happen…this soon…but yes. I knew what I was getting into."

"Why…?" It was an incredulous whisper.

"For Bella," I said simply.

Beside me, Bella ducked her head, and I heard her thoughts swim with guilt and remorse.

_This is all my fault…_

I quickly squeezed her hand. She looked up at me for a moment, and I shook my head. She sighed.

My mom watched us silently for a moment, and I tried to pick up on her thoughts, but they were a jumble of disbelief and wonder.

Finally, she spoke. "Are you sure you made the right choice? I mean, no offense to you or your family, Bella."

Bella shook her head quickly, "None taken. I'm sorry Esme. I know what this does to you, seeing your boy like this."

My mom sighed. "Well, he looks…great. Different, but really…good. I mean, he's always been handsome, but now…"

I couldn't help smiling a little at her confused appraisal of my new form.

"So, you're…leaving?" Her last word was pained and I looked up at her quickly.

"We have to, mom; for a little while. But, if you want—if you think you and Dad can handle it—we can come back after a while." I glanced quickly over at Bella. Her expression was shocked for a moment, but then she quickly smoothed out her features and smiled reassuringly at Esme.

"When are you going? I mean…is this…it, or will you be able to say goodbye to your father?"

I took another painful breath. "Do you really think Dad can handle all…this?" I gestured at myself and my surrounding family.

My mother's thoughts became clouded with doubt as she considered my words.

"What should I tell him, then?" she asked, her eyes tearing up as she spoke.

I felt my still heart clench. I hated causing my mother any pain, but there wasn't any other way. We couldn't stay here. I couldn't go to school yet, and I couldn't be around any of the people I had known before anyway. Everything was different now.

"Tell him that I'm happy, and that I love him, and that I'll visit you as soon as I can," I said quietly.

For a moment, my father's face filled her mind and her memories of him were painful for me to watch. Then, she took a deep breath and nodded.

"So, this is it…for a while, then?"

I smiled and nodded sadly at her.

"Edward, I don't understand what has happened here. I'm confused and I'm hurt, and I don't want to let you go." Her voice broke at the end. Her words were honest and cut me to the core. "But you belong with Bella. If this is what had to happen for you to be with her, then I guess I can't blame you for that." She smiled weakly at me and wiped at her eyes.

"Thanks mom," I whispered, stunned and overwhelmed by her words.

She glanced out the window. "It's getting dark. I should go. You know how I get when I have to drive in the dark." She stood and I could tell from her thoughts that she didn't really want to leave, but she also didn't want to prolong the pain of our inevitable separation.

I nodded, but made no move to rise. I didn't trust the tenuous grasp I had on my self control to hold if I were to move around or draw nearer to her. Instead, Bella stood up and walked towards Esme.

"Thank you for trying to understand. You can't know how much it means to me." She embraced my mother and the range of emotions that quickly moved through me were startling. On the one hand, I was extremely jealous that Bella was able to hug my mother so easily. On the other, I felt the monstrous fire burn at the thought of such close proximity to her.

"Do I get a goodbye hug?" my mother asked after breaking free of Bella's embrace.

Bella's expression was alarmed as I moved to stand. Charlie and Renee's stone arms became restraints. I felt fairly certain I could break free of them if I tried, but I didn't want to cause anyone to become any more alarmed.

I glanced back to them and whispered, too low for my mother's ears. "I can do this. Stay close by, but I can do this."

After exchanging nervous glances, they let me up. Mike and Jessica both followed close behind me as I moved toward my mother. I turned my face away for a moment in an attempt to access clean, scent free air. I took a deep breath, and resolved to make it last until this was over. I was fairly certain that the shadows of the room, which were now even deeper than when she had first arrived, would prevent my mother from truly seeing my eyes.

I reached her and gathered her soft, warm form in my arms. It seemed that the only sound I could hear was the warm, wet, rhythmic pulsing of her heart. Despite not having taken a breath for several moments, the flames raged painfully, and I had to fight harder than ever to keep from consuming her.

After a moment, the embrace was over and the pounding of her heart in my ears subsided slightly. I stepped back and smiled triumphantly at Bella.

"I'll call you when we get settled somewhere, Mom," I said as she moved toward the door. Her thoughts were hesitant and still worried, but she meant what she said about believing that Bella and I should be together, and that was immensely comforting.

At the threshold, Esme turned toward Bella. "Please take good care of Edward. You may have…changed him somehow, but he'll always be my boy."

Bella nodded, and her words burned with sincerity. "I will. I promise."

As the door closed, I leaned against the wall and sunk down to the floor. I didn't think it was possible, but as I sat there, head back against the wall, eyes closed, I felt utterly exhausted.

Bella's arms snaked around my neck as she wiggled her way against my chest. "I'm so proud of you, love. You were amazing! How did you even do it?" she whispered, running her hands through my hair soothingly.

I shook my head. "I have no idea. I just kept thinking about the fact that she's my mother and I couldn't live with myself if I ever harmed her." I opened my eyes and looked at Bella. "It was the most difficult and painful thing I have ever endured."

Bella's voice was sympathetic as she stroked my cheek. "I know, baby. But it's over, and you don't have to be around any humans for a long time now."

I nodded, grateful for that, but I couldn't help the sadness that seeped into my voice as I spoke. "I won't get to see her or my dad again for a long time then, will I?"

I knew the answer to my own question before I felt Bella's head shaking against my chest. Her thoughts were sad and filled with guilt again, and as much as I wanted to comfort her, as much as I didn't want her to feel any pain on my behalf, I couldn't seem to form the words. I felt my own sadness weighing me down, making me mute.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered quietly into my chest.

I took a deep breath leaned my head against the wall again. The thought of not being able to see my parents for many years to come made my dead heart ache. I thought about my friends: Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and even Rosalie. Would I ever be able to see them again? I couldn't see how. I was too different now. My mother might be willing to try and understand, but I didn't think they ever would.

Even when time passed and my self control was such that I could handle interacting with humans freely, they would notice that time had left Bella and I untouched while they all aged.

But even as I sat there on the cold stone floor, having said goodbye to my parents and friends and everything I had known in my past life, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision to become immortal. I had known that giving up my humanity would mean making sacrifices. I had to admit that, thanks to Jane, the timing could have been better, but we couldn't have everything we wanted in life.

I looked down at Bella and smiled at the thought. Maybe that wasn't exactly true. Bella was really the only thing I wanted in my life and now I got to have her, forever. I could live through losing everyone else I cared about, but I couldn't live, immortal or not, without her.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head.

"I know what you're thinking." I paused, smirking at the irony of that statement. Bella gave a small chuckle, in spite of herself. "You are worth it."

Bella didn't say anything in response. Instead, she wound her arms around me tighter and rested her head against my chest. I reached down and stroked her hair, and we sat that way in silence for a long time, neither of us speaking.

Bella's thoughts were conflicted. On the one hand, she felt what could only be described as near elation at the fact that I was now a vampire, and she would never have to let me go. But on the other hand, she felt almost crushing guilt about it. The guilt was further compounded by the fact that she did feel happy about my conversion. It was a vicious cycle that ran through her head on a seemingly unending loop.

I didn't know what to say to make her feel better, but as we sat there, both of us unmoving stone, I vowed that I would spend as much time as it took to make her happy and to make the guilt disappear. After all, we had eternity.

As my mind became more resolved, I thought back to the first day I met her. The human memory was murky, and it seemed like my mind's eye was looking at it through a dirty screen, but I could still remember the feelings I had the first time I met her. I had wanted to protect her and take care of her and make her happy. I felt overjoyed at the thought that I would be lucky enough to get to do just that for the rest of eternity. I would make her happy, and I would make her see that she had no reason to feel guilty.

As we watched the moon travel through the patchy clouds and across the black sky outside the large window, I felt my sadness fade. It was by no means gone, and I doubted it ever would be. I would always miss the human family and friends I was leaving behind. But I knew, sitting on the floor with Bella in my arms, that I had made the right choice. It was the choice I would make again, no hesitation.

After a while, I sat up. I glanced around, ears pricked, and realized that the others had all wandered off after Esme's departure. We were alone, my new family somehow realizing that we would need time by ourselves to work through these newfound complications.

"Do you want to go upstairs to your room?" I asked, running my fingers along Bella's spine.

She shook her head into my chest.

"Okay, what do you want to do?" I asked hesitantly. She seemed so sad; all I wanted to do was make her feel better.

"I want to go up to _our_ room," she whispered.

The word she emphasized made my breath catch and fueled me into action. I stood quickly and gathered Bella in my arms. I carried her up both sets of stairs, my speed surprising even myself. I paused as I reached the double doors that led to her room.

"This is _our_ room now?" I asked, afraid that I had read more into that one word than what she had actually meant. At last, Bella met my gaze. Her eyes were smoldering and intense as she nodded. "Come on then, no more distractions," I growled into her neck as I pushed the doors open.

I deposited her on the silky grey comforter of the massive bed. She looked up at me, and I could have sworn I felt my knees go weak. Everything else was just a prelude to this. As permanent as my transformation from human to vampire had been, I somehow knew that _this_ moment was what would cement Bella and me together forever.

I climbed over her until I was level with her glorious face. I hesitated for a moment; gauging her thoughts and her expression to be sure she felt the intensity of the moment as well. I groaned when her thoughts leaked into my own, seemingly converging as one mind.

"Oh, Bella…"

Our lips met passionately, finally equals as we moved together, working to shed our clothing and come together as one.

"I was right you know…" I murmured against her bare shoulder, my voice thick and rough with the intensity of what I was feeling, both physically and emotionally.

"About what?" she asked, her voice distracted.

"I belong with you."

Bella pulled away to meet my eyes. She held my face in her hands, and her eyes were intense as she spoke. "I know you do; forever."


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 33

The sun was warm on my bare back as I stretched out lazily across the bed. Of course I didn't feel tired or sleepy in any way, but the warmth of the sun across my skin felt amazingly pleasant, and I didn't want to move.

Eyes closed, I stretched my hand out until I found her. I smiled and hummed in contentment when I came into contact with her bare skin. I had been overjoyed to discover that the electric pulse that seemed to flow effortlessly between us whenever we touched had not diminished one bit since my change. In fact, if anything it had grown more intense.

Making love to Bella had been the single most powerful experience of my life, both my old life and my new one. We fit together perfectly, like two corresponding puzzle pieces. Of course, it didn't hurt things that I could read her mind and was able to respond to her every thought.

As I stroked her soft skin, I was pleased to discover that her thoughts matched her relaxed posture. She had no regrets; we were one now, and nothing would ever be able to separate us again.

"Hi," she smiled, rolling over to face me. "I thought maybe you fell asleep," she teased, smirking at me from her pillow. Her lush chocolate hair fanned out around her, making her look like an angel as the sunlight bounced and reflected off her snowy skin.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked.

"Can we hunt again?" I asked my throat suddenly excited by the prospect.

Bella rolled her eyes at me and laughed. "We can if you want to."

"You're not thirsty?" I questioned, propping my head up on my hand. With my other hand I traced a finger lazily along her bare sparkling shoulder.

"I just hunted yesterday. I'm still good for a few more days." I opened my mouth to speak but she continued, cutting me off by answering my unspoken question. "You're thirsty because you're still young. It's normal, and we can hunt as often as you need to."

I smiled at her as I moved my hand lower to her hip. She shivered and leaned closer to me, her thoughts suddenly becoming jumbled. I laughed as I continued to move closer to bring my lips to hers.

It was quite a while later when we finally got around to hunting, or, for that matter, leaving the bedroom. It was an interesting situation we found ourselves in. Neither one of us grew tired, or needed a break, or even had to get up to take care of normal human bodily functions. There was nothing to stop us from spending as long as we wanted tangled up in each other's arms and legs. It was a situation I was more than happy to deal with.

We finally did drag ourselves out of bed though, but we only got as far as the shower. We took a much longer time than necessary, standing under the warm stream washing each other and luxuriating in the feel of each other's skin. I made love to Bella again, pressing her against the thick glass of the shower wall. After what didn't seem like nearly long enough, the water began to cool and we decided to get out, not because the icy water was uncomfortable to our impermeable skin, but because the end of the hot water signaled that we had spent long enough lost in our own little world. As we wrapped the plush grey towels from the rack around ourselves, I realized something.

"Bella, we might have a slight problem," I said, tucking the towel around my hips.

"What's that, sweetheart?" she murmured, securing her own towel under her arms. Her dark hair hung in a wet sheet down her back.

"I don't have any clothes…" The clothes I had been wearing the day before were dirty from my messy hunting trip, and obviously I hadn't been able to go home to grab any more. I had the few items I had brought with me for my week long stay, but I wasn't sure where they had ended up.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Trust me, it's not a problem. Jessica took care of that for you. Go look in the closet."

I raised an eyebrow at her skeptically before padding over to the massive closet next to the bathroom. When I stepped in, I realized that not only was it filled with massive amounts of Bella's clothing, but there were also rows of expensive looking men's clothing too. There were slacks, button down and polo shirts, sweaters, and t-shirts. There were even dark rich colored suits and brilliantly patterned ties.

"Wow…" I marveled, overwhelmed by all of the choices in front of me. My wardrobe at home consisted of a few pairs of worn jeans and several vintage t-shirts. As my eyes scanned the vast rows, I realized I had no idea where to begin with this many options. "Is that a tuxedo?" I breathed incredulously. "Where are the…jeans?"

Sensing my anxiety, Bella was by my side in a second. She pulled open one of the drawers and fished out a pair of jeans that were far more artfully faded than any of the pairs I owned. I took them from her and pulled them on.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "Okay, how about a t-shirt…"

Bella smirked and began rifling through the long row of t-shirts that were arranged first by color and then sleeve length. Jessica was out of control. With her quick nimble fingers, it took no time for Bella to pull one from a smooth wooden hanger and hold it out to me. It was dark brown and faded and very promising.

"Thanks baby." I smirked, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to me. Her towel slipped and I heard it hit the ground. I groaned, Bella giggled.

"We have to go. You want to hunt, remember?" she laughed. I did remember. As enticing as having Bella naked in my arms was, the burn in my throat made itself known again, and I released her.

"Okay, okay. Later then."

We finished dressing and made our way downstairs where we found the others in the kitchen.

"Well, look who decided to join us!" Jessica cried as we entered the spacious room. Everyone was gathered around the large kitchen island, and I laughed at the idea of this family converging here, just like a normal human family, except this family meeting place wasn't ever used for its intended purpose.

I met Jessica's gaze for a split second, but when I saw the satisfied smirk she wore, I immediately dropped my eyes, waiting for the familiar embarrassing burn to creep up my neck. It didn't, and it never would, I realized. Jessica's thoughts were smug and taunting and I glared at the floor. I wasn't at all ashamed of what Bella and I had done, I just didn't want to have to hear about it from all of Bella's family. Bella rolled her eyes at her sister and gave her a small shove.

"We're going to hunt. Anyone care to join us?" she asked, thankfully changing the subject.

"Absolutely. Let's go see if Edward's got his hunting chops down yet," Mike chimed in, punching my arm. I remembered how it had felt to be punched by Mike before, and was grateful I was now a little more durable. I smiled and punched him back playfully.

_Ouch! Damn! That hurt!_

My smile fell as I his thoughts rang through my head.

"Oh! I'm sorry Mike…" I trailed off, confused.

"It's okay, just…be careful, man," he muttered, surreptitiously rubbing his arm.

I furrowed my brow and looked at Bella for an explanation. Her thoughts were amused as she looked back and forth between the two of us.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I forget that you're so new at all of this; you're so good at it. You're…really strong right now, love. Much stronger than any of us." I felt my eyebrows rise skeptically at her words. "It's the blood, your blood. It will make you much stronger than an older vampire for a while. Probably about a year."

"Seriously?" I mused, shock coloring my tone slightly. "That's awesome!"

Mike rolled his eyes. _Sure it is. Really cool._ His thoughts were sarcastic, but he grinned at me anyway.

After a few more jokes at my expense, Bella, Jessica, Mike, and I set off through the forest to hunt. The sun that had shone so brilliantly through our bedroom window earlier that morning was now obscured by thick grey clouds that swirled warningly above, and I heard a clap of thunder in the distance.

Despite the gloomy weather, I couldn't help the wide smile that spread across my face as we ran, leaping over boulders and fallen trees. We reached the river and, after watching the others bound effortlessly over it, I sprinted across and landed easily on the other side. I felt an exuberant laugh bubble up through my chest. _This is all so easy, and so…exhilarating!_

We quickly came upon a herd of deer resting in a clearing. As we entered the clearing, Bella gave me a quick backward glance, and a bright beautiful smile before she, Jessica, and Mike each pounced eagerly on the unsuspecting deer.

I stopped dead in my tracks, my breath stuck in my throat. The sight of Bella hunting was stunning. As quick and lithe as she was in her movements under normal circumstances, she was ten times more graceful when hunting. I thought back to when I had watched her take down the mountain lion that fateful night. As with all of my human memories, it was hazy and faded. Plus, I vaguely remembered being too shocked and stunned to really process what Bella looked like as a huntress. But now, standing back from the trio in the clearing, I watched in awe as Bella stalked her prey and then pounced, her lightning fast movements almost a blur even to my new quicker eyes. She was swift and graceful, and when she emerged only moments later, her clothing was still perfect, not a single hair out of place on her glorious head.

She brushed what I was sure was imaginary dirt off her hands and turned to grin at me. "Are you just going to watch?" she smirked, stalking lithely over to where I stood, still in the shadows of the huge Cyprus trees which ringed the clearing.

I shrugged. "I was just admiring the view. You're really amazing when you hunt, Bella." She ducked her head and her thoughts were tinged with embarrassment at being so openly admired. It didn't seem to matter how often I told her how remarkable she was, she never seemed to believe me. Reading her embarrassment, I decided to change topics and take the focus off of her. "Plus, now you scared all of them away." I gestured to the clearing which was now empty, save for the three newly drained carcasses.

"Come on my little hunter. Let's go find you something to eat." She reached out and grabbed my hand, and the two of us took off like shots through the forest. We left Jessica and Mike behind; they could catch up if they wanted to.

It wasn't long before we found another herd grazing obliviously, and this time I didn't hesitate. My throat burned, and I took off toward one of the largest deer, easily taking it down. We took off again and I found and drained two more deer before stopping and rubbing my now full stomach. I felt so full I thought I might be sick, but the thirst and the fire in my throat seemed barely diminished. I sighed, realizing that the constant fire was an inevitable part of my new life now. It was a small price to pay. Just like after my first hunt, I was covered in muck and dirt, and I wondered again how Bella could make it all look so refined and delicate.

Jessica and Mike never did catch up with us. They were obviously not nearly as glutinous in their hunting practices. Bella and I found them on the large back porch as we walked, hand in hand, back to the house.

"Did you get…sidetracked?" Jessica asked, one eyebrow raised. Mike burst into laughter at her words and I shot them both a withering look.

"Shut up, Jess…" Bella mumbled, ducking her head again.

"We're just kidding with you," Mike cut in, obviously sensing the turmoil brewing between the two sisters. "We're really happy for you two."

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. "Can we stop talking about this, please?" I growled, running a hand through my hair.

"Okay, okay. Calm down," Jessica said, holding her hands out in mock surrender. "What do you guys want to do today?"

I looked at Bella and shrugged. I knew school was out of the question, so I wasn't really sure what to do. Thinking about school reminded me of something I had been meaning to ask about.

"Do I need to…do anything about my school? I mean, I know I can't go back, but won't the school wonder what…happened?"

"Renee talked to your mom about that. Esme is going to tell the school that you have gone to live with your aunt in Chicago. She went yesterday to withdraw you, and we're having your records sent to a made up address that our family has used before." It was Bella who explained all of this.

I considered her words for a moment before smirking as I nodded. "Okay, I guess that makes sense… You guys have obviously done this before."

"Well, we've had to leave before, but not under such…urgent circumstances."

"So we're definitely leaving then?" I asked.

Bella nodded. "Yes, we'll need to go somewhere where there's no danger of you running into anyone who knew you…before. Our house is secluded out here, but we can't be sure that no one will come looking out here, especially with you being unprotected by my shield."

"Where will we go?"

Bella shrugged. "We have a few different options. Where would you like to go?"

I felt a twinge of guilt at being the reason the Swans would have to relocate and start all over again. Charlie had his position at the police department, that couldn't have been easy to secure. He would have to work to reestablish his credentials where ever we went. Not to mention Bella, Jessica, and Mike were nearly through their high school careers. Now they would probably have to start again wherever we ended up. I knew it was necessary, but I couldn't help but feel guilty at being the reason behind all the changes.

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled softly, dropping my eyes to the ground and kicking at the grass under my sneaker. "You guys have worked so hard to get established here, and now you'll have to start all over because of me."

"Actually, Edward, I was thinking that maybe just the two of us could go away…" Bella faded off, the thoughts swirling through her head hesitant and unsure. I took a split second to process her words before a wide smile spread across my face.

"Just the two of us? Really?" The thought of eons of uninterrupted time with Bella was ridiculously appealing. I rushed forward and grabbed her around her waist, picking her up off the ground and twirling her around. "Bella…" I breathed into her neck as she giggled and slapped lightly at my shoulders. "That would be amazing."

After that, Bella pulled me up the stairs to the large library on the second floor where we began pouring through volumes of atlases and maps. It was exhilarating to think about the fact that the whole world was stretched out before us, wide open. We could go anywhere we wanted. We had endless resources and endless time on our hands.

I settled back against the plush leather of the sofa and grabbed Bella's waist, pulling her and the thick volume she was perusing onto my lap. I ran my nose along her neck, inhaling her scent and groaned softly.

"How about Europe?" she asked, turning the pages distractedly as I continued my trek along her jaw line.

"Sure," I murmured into her throat.

"There are parts that are quite rainy and we wouldn't be stuck inside during the day."

"Mmhmmm…"

"Are you even listening?" Bella asked, giggling as she leaned further into my chest.

I finally pulled my lips away from her incredibly soft skin. "Bella…I don't care where we go as long as I get to be with you…forever."

Bella set the book down and quickly and gracefully shifted around so that we were face to face, her legs wrapping around me. She cupped my face in her hands and brought her full lips to mine. "Always," she whispered simply as she rested her head on my chest.

We sat like that for a long time, neither of us moving. I had always loved just holding Bella, but immortality seemed to grant me endless contentment just simply being in her presence. There was no where I'd rather be, no place I'd rather go, nothing I'd rather be doing than just holding her in my arms, feeling her wrapped around me.

The next few days passed in a flurry of activity as arrangements for our departure were made. Last minute travel plans were secured, flawlessly forged documents were somehow procured for me, and Bella spent a seemingly endless amount of time on the phone, speaking in fluid French, Italian, and I was pretty sure even German, making preparations for our arrival.

We had decided upon a tour of Europe. There were so many places I had never seen, and Bella was excited to show them all to me. With our expertly forged paperwork, we would be able to travel easily. The only challenge for me would be when we would inevitably encounter humans, but Bella seemed confident, after my successful visit with my mother, that I would be able to handle the short exposure when necessary. I trusted Bella to keep me, and the unsuspecting humans we came across, safe.

As excited as I was to leave with Bella, there was something that kept weighing on my mind. The day before we were scheduled to leave, I decided to bring it up to Bella. We were lying in the grass in our meadow, just as we had so many weeks ago when James had waltzed into our lives and set into motion a course of events that had led to our impending departure. Despite that memory, we were both still fond of the meadow. It was where we had first declared our love for each other. We had just hunted, and I felt full and content, even if the dull ache was still eternally in my throat.

"Bella…" I started tentatively.

Her thoughts were relaxed and content, and she didn't answer me right away. After a moment or two, she hummed in response.

"I've been thinking that there's something I want to do before we go."

"What's that?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbow to look at me. The sun was peaking intermittently through the ever-present clouds. When it would break through, it glinted off of Bella's skin, throwing iridescent rainbows across the meadow. There was a light breeze that blew wispy tendrils of her hair around her face.

I hesitated before speaking, nervous about her reaction. "I would like to see Jasper before we go."

Bella's thoughts were immediately concerned and full of all the reasons that my idea was not a good one. Despite her clear-cut mental stance, her tone and words were more neutral as she attempted to be appeasing.

"Edward, I don't know if that's such a good idea," she hedged.

"I was fine around my mom. You said yourself that my self control is admirable. I'll be fine," I retorted, defense coloring my tone slightly.

"I'm not worried about you, love," she answered, shaking her head quickly. "I'm worried about Jasper. Your mom's reaction is one thing, she's your mom. She loves you and wants what's best for you. She's willing to look past all of the surreal, unbelievable things about us because she loves you. I'm not sure if Jasper will be willing to do that."

"I think he will…" I said, glancing off across the meadow as I thought about Bella's words. I knew she was probably right, but somehow I didn't feel right leaving him without any sort of explanation any more than it had felt right to leave my mother. I glanced back at Bella. "I'd like to try…" I said, monitoring her thoughts to check her reaction.

_My family still has to remain behind._

I felt immediately ashamed. How could I consider putting them in danger? They had already done so much for me. It would be incredibly ungrateful of me to return the favor by threatening to expose their carefully crafted secret and forcing them to relocate.

I sighed. I really wanted to see Jasper. I knew, just as I had been unable to provide my mother with a satisfactory explanation of the path my life had taken, I would be helpless to give Jasper anything that wouldn't raise more questions than it answered.

"Maybe we can come back and visit after a while," Bella offered, clearly trying to be pacifying.

But for some reason, I couldn't let it drop. I sat up on my knees and looked into Bella's glorious face. Her eyes were sympathetic, and I could tell from her thoughts that the oppressive guilt she often felt over the less than perfect timing of my conversion and the challenges it presented for me was beginning to seep in again.

I felt another stab of guilt of my own as I pressed my advantage. "Please, Bella. I promise, I'll just see him really quickly, no one else, and then we'll go. I just have to say goodbye."

Of course, I knew before she spoke that I had won. Her thoughts betrayed her.

"Okay," she agreed, nodding reluctantly.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I know it'll be fine." I crushed her to me in an exuberant hug before taking her hand and pulling her along beside me as I took off, running in the direction of the house.

"Where are we going?" she called, running slightly behind me in my haste to get back.

"To call Jasper!" I yelled over my shoulder to her. I knew the yelling wasn't necessary. Even if she didn't have super vampire hearing, she was right behind me, but I couldn't help myself. I had missed Jasper and I took an enormous amount of comfort in the fact that I'd be able to see him again, even if it was only to say goodbye to him.


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 34

"Hello?" Jasper's voice was comfortingly familiar. I paused for a moment, working to make my voice sound rougher, like Bella and I had practiced.

"Hi, Jasper," I said hesitantly.

"Edward? Is that you? What the hell's wrong with your voice?"

"Yeah, it's me. How's it going?" I couldn't help grinning at his words. Jasper always had a way of cutting to the core of things.

"Where are you? I thought you'd left already?"

"Yeah, I am…we are, soon. I just wanted to see you before we go," I explained.

"Okay, sure." His voice was puzzled and he sounded a little hesitant.

I looked over at Bella. She rubbed my arm reassuringly and nodded. We had already discussed where we should meet.

"Do you know that little park by First Beach?" I asked.

"Yeah, I know it. When should we meet?"

"Can you be there in an hour?"

He agreed and we hung up. I turned to Bella and blew out a deep breath, glad that part was over; even though I knew what was to come was going to be much more difficult. Bella and I had agreed that the small park near the beach would be a safe place to meet. Outside, the clouds continued to roll thickly overhead, and there would be no danger of my skin giving me away. Meeting outdoors would make wearing sunglasses feasible, even though it was a little too overcast to really require them. Also, Bella hoped that being in the open air would help dispel Jasper's human scent and make it a little easier for me to be around him.

Bella and I made our way upstairs to get ready. I couldn't seem to get rid of the gnawing worry in the pit of my stomach. My mom's visit had been so sudden that I hadn't had time to worry and doubt my decision as I was now.

We reached our room, and I sat nervously on the edge of the bed.

"Do you want to change clothes?" Bella asked softly. I glanced down at myself. My clothes were streaked with mud and grass stains.

"Yeah, I guess so." I ran a hand through my hair and headed for the closet.

I changed into a long sleeved shirt and another pair of ridiculous designer jeans. I hoped the long sleeves were to hide as much of my newly pale skin as possible. We headed down the stairs, a pair of dark sunglasses clutched in my hand. As we reached the garage, Bella moved towards the driver's side, and I didn't protest knowing I was way too nervous and clearly not fit to drive.

The first drops of rain hit the windshield, and as we sped quickly and smoothly out of the driveway and began heading towards First Beach, the rain steadily increased. By the time we arrived and Bella slid the car effortlessly into an empty space in the nearly deserted parking lot, the rain was coming down in sheets.

I slid the sunglasses on and glanced around. We were extremely early, but that was good since I knew I needed time to prepare. With only three other cars in the lot, we were pretty much alone. Out in the distance I could see several people walking along the beach and I shook my head. Only in Washington would the pounding rain not deter people from a walk on the beach.

I glanced quickly at Bella before I wrenched the door open and stepped out into the rain. I was relieved to discover that, because of the pouring rain, I could neither hear nor smell the humans that were scattered along the beach.

Bella was by my side, and we began to run over to the covered picnic area. I realized that I was running, not to get out of the rain, or because the rain bothered me in any way, but because I could feel the nervous pent up energy spurring me forward. No sooner had I started running, than I felt Bella tug on my arm.

"Slow down, baby," she whispered. "Human pace, remember."

"Oh yeah. Sorry." In my nervousness I had forgotten to keep my pace sluggish enough to pass as a human. Reluctantly, I slowed my steps and eventually we reached the pavilion.

"Okay, Jasper is going to be less forgiving of the differences he sees in you than your mom was. You're going to have to work harder to pass as human." Bella was standing in front of me pushing my hair back. The movement caused the water that had pooled there to run down my face. I nodded, sending more flecks of water flying. Bella continued. "You're going to want to fidget a little. You won't have to worry about blinking since your eyes are covered, but don't sit too still. Also, you won't be breathing, but don't forget to feign it by moving your shoulders up and down a little."

I continued nodding as I struggled to remember all of her advice. I perched on the edge of one of the picnic tables and ran my hands down the legs of my jeans. The rain continued to drum against the pavilion's metal roof as I gazed across the parking lot. Bella stood by my side and rubbed her hand reassuringly up and down my back. I stiffened under her touch as Jasper's beat up sedan came into view.

"He brought Alice," I growled anxiously as the pair hopped out and began to run toward us through the rain. I steeled myself and took what I knew would be my last breath for a while.

"Hi Bella, hi Edward!" Alice chirped as they neared us. Alice skipped up under the awning and hugged Bella lightly. I gritted my teeth as her appealing scent rolled over me. I gripped the tabletop until I realized I could feel the edges crumbling under my grip. I heard small pieces of the wooden table crumble and hit the ground. I couldn't help it; I could smell her scent, and even taste it, as she hopped over to me, arms extended. Before she reached me, however, she skidded to a stop.

"Edward…" Surprise filled her voice as her eyes finally fell on my rigid form.

"Hi Alice," I said, working to make my voice gravelly and rough. Her eyes widened at the sound of it, and I internally cringed at the thoughts that ran through her head. Just then Jasper reached us. His eyes ran up and down and his mouth fell open slightly.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asked.

I chuckled and shook my head in response. Part of me didn't want to waste my air supply; the other part of me honestly wasn't sure how to answer his question. Bella moved back to my side, and Jasper glanced back and forth between us.

Realizing I wasn't going to answer his question, Jasper changed the subject. "So, I take it you're not leaving to go live with your aunt then." His eyes were still wide and disbelieving, but he smiled lightly.

"No," I answered simply, not sure what else to say. His eyes continued to scrutinize me with open curiosity.

It was a good thing my new mind was so much roomier; I needed the extra space to process everything that was happening around me. The raging fire that tore through my throat in the presence of Jasper and Alice and their undeniably tantalizing smell occupied a large part of my brain. Another part was busy processing the pair's mystified and confused thoughts about my new appearance. Yet another part was dedicated to remembering and implementing all the tips Bella had given me to try and appear human.

Obviously sensing how overwhelmed I was by it all, Bella explained. "Edward is leaving, but not to go to his aunt's. We'll be leaving together. We're going to travel around Europe for a while."

Jasper quirked his eyebrow, and suddenly he was wasn't thinking about how different I looked, or how odd this all was, but that I was somehow going to get to travel unchaperoned around Europe with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but smile. Then, remembering that I couldn't let him know that I could read his mind, I worked to compose my face.

Alice clapped her hands and hopped up and down next to Jasper. "Oooh! I love Europe. You guys have to go to Paris. It's fantastic!"

I shook my head at her enthusiasm. How could she be giving us travel advice when we just told her that we were, as far as she knew, two teenagers running away? Not to mention the strange and unexplained changes that she could so clearly see in me.

"We'll have to make sure we make it there," I said, significantly depleting my air supply. There was a cold breeze blowing up from the ocean, which helped make their scents a little less potent.

"So are you coming back any time soon?" Jasper asked, tilting his head as he gazed thoughtfully at me.

I shrugged. "Not for a while, at least."

"So, this is it, huh?" He smiled wryly. His thoughts were tinged with sadness, and I felt a pang of guilt. I was really going to miss him and the bouncing little pixy by his side.

"Oh, Edward!" Alice cried and it was only my ability to read her thoughts that allowed me to steel myself a split second before she leapt into my arms. "We're going to miss you!" Bella looked at me in alarm, moving forward to assist if I needed her. I shook my head discretely at her, but both her thoughts and her expression remained wary as she watched us. Alice pulled back, and there were tears streaming down her face. I released her as quickly as possible, working as hard as I could to push the thirst down and not let it take over with her warm, pulsing blood so close to me. She moved back to Jasper's side, sniffing loudly.

Jasper shook his head, and I couldn't tell if he was shaking his head at me, or his impulsive girlfriend. "I really don't know what's going on here, Edward, but you seem happy."

There was no uncertainty in my response. "I am. Happier than I ever thought I could be." I looked down at Bella as I took her hand in mine and squeezed it. "Don't worry, we're going to be fine."

Jasper nodded and I could tell that, while there were still countless questions swirling around in his head, he was satisfied that I was okay.

Jasper took a deep breath and shrugged. "Okay. Good luck, man." He stuck his hand out to me and I cautiously grasped it. His eyes widened as he noticed its too cool temperature and marble texture. I withdrew it quickly and dropped my eyes to the ground, glad once again my eyes were hidden behind my sunglasses.

Bella and I watched, hand in hand, as Jasper and Alice ran through the downpour to their car. Alice braved the rain a moment longer to turn back and wave at us before climbing inside. I waved back, smiling at her unshakable enthusiasm.

Bella and I stood motionless for a while longer after Jasper's car rumbled out of the parking lot and disappeared down the winding road back to Forks. Finally, I turned and collapsed onto the table again. "I did it." I smiled, the note of pride in my voice mixed with a tinge of sadness at the permanence of yet another farewell.

"You did, once again. You're amazing, love." She turned to stand in front of me, placing a hand on each of my knees. I wrapped my arms around her. As I pressed my lips to her forehead, I was suddenly grateful that her scent, although incredibly intoxicating, caused my throat no pain. I was beginning to gain a greater understanding of just how difficult it must have been for her to be so near me while I was human. I wasn't the only one who had sacrificed so the two of us could be together. I wrapped my arms around her wordlessly and pulled her closer.

"Are you ready, Edward?" she whispered after a moment, resting her head against my chest.

I knew what she meant, and I was. My goodbyes had not been as satisfying as I wished they could have been, but I had managed to let the people I cared about the most know that I was okay.

We made our way back to the car, and as we drove back home through the slick streets I couldn't help feeling overwhelmed. I was lost in my own head for a while until I realized that Bella was misinterpreting my silence as sadness.

_He's so quiet, and seems so sad. I can't blame him. How can I ever be enough to make up for him losing everyone else he loves? _She thought sadly.

"Sweetheart," I laughed, shaking my head at her. For being so intelligent, she could really be obtuse sometimes. "I'm not sad. I'm _happy_. I never dreamed the people I cared about would ever be so accepting. I mean, I saw my reflection; I know how different I look. They don't understand, but they are willing to accept these changes and let us leave with their blessing. That's…amazing!"

She sighed, and I could tell she still wasn't convinced.

"Baby," I continued, twisting in my seat to see her better as she drove. "We're going to be fine. We can leave now. I'm ready. I can't wait to travel the world with you. I love you so much."

She couldn't doubt the sincerity of my words, and smiled warmly at me as we pulled into the driveway. I raced around to her side and pulled her out and into my arms.

"Do you want to hunt one more time before our flight?" she asked and I smiled into her hair. She took such good care of me, always thinking about my needs.

I nodded and we set off into the forest. Our hunt was quick, and I filled myself completely, nervous about our time in close proximity to humans on the airplane. Afterward, we headed upstairs to grab our luggage. I paused, my bag in one hand, the other hand resting on the doorknob, and looked back at our room. I hadn't spent very much time living in this room, but the time that I had spent was some of the happiest of my life so far. I smiled when I realized that this was just the beginning. Bella and I had an eternity of bliss ahead of us.

Everyone was assembled at the bottom of the stairs, and I was reminded again that I wasn't the only one having to deal with painful goodbyes. I immediately felt guilty for giving so little thought to the fact that Bella was saying her goodbyes too. Sure, we would be back, and the separation wasn't permanent, but I knew it was still painful for her, nonetheless. It was even painful for me. I had grown extremely attached to my new family, especially Jess and Mike.

"Take care of our girl," Renee said softly, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I will," I promised, returning her embrace.

Charlie clapped me sturdily on the back, and Mike threw his arm around my shoulder. Jessica leapt into my arms and I laughed and staggered slightly under her enthusiasm.

"I'm so glad I fought for you," she whispered, even though everyone in the room was more than capable of easily hearing her words. I laughed again as I remembered how much I owed the tiny vampire in my arms.

"I am too. Thanks for everything."

Bella and her sister stood, embracing for a long time, both of their thoughts tinged with melancholy. After a long moment, the two girls stepped back, and Bella and I picked up our suitcases and headed out to the waiting cab. We had decided a cab ride to the airport, as opposed to having one of the family take us, would be a gentle way to ease me into my time in close proximity to human strangers. I felt a little guilty about using the cab driver as a human guinea pig, but I knew Bella would keep me safe.

We were silent during the cab ride, and Bella was tucked into my side in the backseat. My concealing sunglasses were back in place, and I felt slightly silly wearing them in the darkness. The driver glanced nervously back at us throughout the drive, and I couldn't help but be amused by his thoughts. He was vacillating between fear of our other-worldliness and outright admiration for Bella's beauty. I was pleased that his scent, while extraordinarily enticing, was not entirely overwhelming, even in the small confines of the cab. It made my throat burn and ache fiercely, and the desire to leap over the seat was definitely there, but I was able to manage it.

We arrived at the Port Angeles airport. Bella paid the driver while I gathered our bags. We headed inside the tiny terminal and checked in, then settled in for the short wait until our flight was scheduled to depart. Just as Jessica and I had so many months ago when we went to get Bella back, we were flying first to Seattle, and then to Paris. Once we got to Paris, we would stay in Bella's tiny cottage for a while until we decided to move on. It was amazing to think that we had nothing but time on our hands. We had no obligations to anything or anyone, and we were free to stay in an area for as long as we wanted. Bella had plenty of money, a byproduct of having decades of time to play with the stock market. I felt a little guilty about living off of her resources, but I promised myself that as soon as I could, I would contribute to our finances and make up for it.

I was pleased to find how relatively easy it was to interact with the humans who surrounded us in the airport. Their reactions were all variations of the same theme. Invariably, their eyes would widen as they took in our inhuman beauty, then their thoughts would be filled with questions about who we were.

For her part, Bella's thoughts were wary, and she watched me cautiously, gauging my reactions carefully.

"I'm fine, love. Don't worry," I reassured her, rubbing her knee comfortingly.

She reached up and stroked my cheek. "You're doing so well, baby. I can't tell you how proud I am of you."

Soon, our flight was called and we boarded. Bella had made sure that we could board first so that I would have time to adjust as the plane filled with humans. We sat in our seats, and I gripped the armrests as the plane began to fill with the intoxicating aroma of human blood, so much more concentrated here than it had been in the airy terminal.

I put my head in my hands and growled softly as the thoughts of countless strangers invaded my head. Processing the thoughts of others was getting easier, but when there were so many churning around me, it was impossible not to feel overwhelmed by the awful commotion.

After a moment of intense concentration, I managed to push them aside so they were nothing but a low din that I was able to focus on with only a small fraction of my brain. However, as soon as I had done that, I was overwhelmed by the sound of wetly thumping hearts all around me. It triggered my thirst and made my mouth water and my throat burn outrageously, even though I hadn't taken a breath since the plane first began to fill up.

"I don't know if this was such a good idea," I growled through tightly clenched teeth.

Bella rubbed her hand soothingly across my back. "It's okay. You can do this." She pulled on my shoulders until I faced her. Then she placed her hands on either side of my face. "Look at me. Focus on me. Ignore everything else, you can do this."

I let myself get lost in her tawny eyes and focused only on her voice and her thoughts.

_Be strong. You can do this, I believe in you. You are so strong. Just remember how much I love you, baby._

Her thoughts continued on this way, and I was actually surprised when I heard the sound of the pilot's voice announcing our arrival in Seattle.

As we exited the plane, I turned to Bella, my smile triumphant. "I did it!" I could afford to be celebratory now that we were out of the close confines of the small plane.

She laughed and squeezed my hand. My excitement turned to worry once again as we made our way to the international counter. The flight from Port Angeles had been only a fraction as long as our flight to Paris would be. I began to seriously question my self-control, and the doubting was only making it worse.

By the time we had checked in for our flight, I had worked myself up into a near frenzy. This airport was much more crowded than the tiny Port Angeles one, and people were _everywhere_, taunting me with their presence and their scintillating scent.

"Bella…" I choked, clamping my hand over my mouth. "I have to get out of here!" I managed to growl.

Her eyes flashed, and she grabbed my arm, pulling me quickly into a stairwell. We were alone, and Bella's voice echoed even though it was a low whisper.

"You can do this—" she began, but I cut her off, shaking my head violently.

"No, I'm telling you, I can't. It's too much." I spit through my teeth, tearing at my hair in frustration.

"Okay, calm down, Edward." Her voice was soothing as she pulled my hands away from my hair. "We don't have to do this. We can charter a private plane. I'm so sorry I didn't think of this earlier. I should never have put you through this. I'm so sorry, baby."

"It's okay." I said nodding, suddenly eager for her idea of the private plane; something I thought had definite possibilities. "What do we do to get a private plane?"

"Can I trust you to stay here?" she asked, her eyes wary. I thought about it for a minute, and then nodded. Here in the deserted stairwell the urge was not nearly as overwhelming as it had been in the crowded hallways and walkways of the airport. "Okay, you have to stay here. Promise me."

I nodded again.

She slipped out the door and I groaned in frustration, yanking on the metal banister. I was surprised when the metal creaked loudly in protest and a huge section where my hand had been was bowed and distorted outward, the shape of my fingers visible still in the damaged metal. I gritted my teeth and made a fist, bringing it down upon the already abused metal to destroy the evidence of my fingerprints.

I was irritated with myself for my weakness and now, thanks to the mangled banister by my side, I was further irritated with myself for my strength. I sat down on the step with a huff, and silently willed Bella to return with good news soon. My resolve to keep my promise to Bella and remain in the vacant stairwell was wavering. I could hear people just on the other side of the door, both their physical and mental voices slightly muffled, but still clear enough to identify exactly when they passed. More troublesome still, I could smell them, and the fire in my throat raged in protest of my immobility.

_How easy would it be to slip out the door and grab someone before Bella even came back?_ The monster inside of me reasoned._ If I'm quick enough, Bella would never even have to know._

I growled in frustration, grabbing the banister again. This time the metal squealed and whined as I ripped it savagely from its base and twisted it in my hands, a desperate attempt to keep them idle. When I had been around my mother, and even Jasper and Alice, the urge had not been as strong because they were people I knew and loved. On the other side of that door were complete and total strangers. How easy it was to think of them as prey, their tantalizing heartbeats just begging me to grab them. I would sneak out and steal someone away. I knew I could do it without ever being detected.

As my plan grew more defined and the bloodlust swirled unchecked in my mind, an air conditioner vent, high on the wall above me, switched on and I felt a cool, untainted breeze blow across my face. Slowly, my head was cleared of the murderous haze that had tinted my vision. I gulped in lungfuls of clean air and was instantly ashamed. How could I be such a monster? I was pathetic and weak, and I felt myself curl into a ball on the floor, nothing more than a defeated and devastated heap. Sometime later, I heard the door click open.

"Oh, Edward." Bella's voice was laced with concern and her thoughts were alarmed. "Are you okay? Come on, sit up, baby." I felt her hands pulling me up.

"I'm sorry…" My voice was unsteady. "I'm sorry I'm so weak, Bella. I'm so sorry."

Her hands were pressing against my lips before I even finished speaking.

"Stop, Edward. You are not weak. This is all my fault. I should never have expected you to be able to handle this. Oh baby, I'm so sorry."

"Did you get a plane for us?" Strangely I didn't feel like I had the energy to argue about whose fault our situation was. I just wanted to get out of there.

Bella nodded eagerly. "Yes, a jet. It leaves in twenty minutes."

I felt relief fill me. I knew I could handle twenty minutes, I knew Bella would keep me safe. She sat next to me on the step, and we passed the time by listing all of the things we wanted to do while in Europe. My list was fairly short, as I had little experience with travel abroad, but Bella filled in my gaps with colorful descriptions of places she couldn't wait to show me.

The conversation worked to distract me, and before I knew it Bella was pulling me along behind her through the airport. I tried to ignore the curious stares we were receiving. Most of them were because of the ridiculous sunglasses still firmly in place on my face, and I gleaned from the thoughts of those we passed that most people assumed me to be some celebrity in hiding or some sort of detoxing junkie, or a combination of both. I was looking forward to the day when the glasses would no longer be necessary.

We arrived at a different counter, where we checked in before heading directly out onto the tarmac and climbing the stairs of the small jet that was waiting for us. As we stepped into the jet, I felt guilt wash over me. The inside of the plane was spacious and luxurious and I couldn't imagine how much Bella had spent to secure these arrangements at the last minute. I pushed the feelings of guilt down when I considered what the alternative could have been had we stuck to our original plan. I shuddered to think of the carnage I knew now I surely would have wrought twenty thousand feet up in the air with only Bella to try and stop me.

We settled into our seats, and the captain came by to introduce himself and let us know what our flight plan was. His thoughts were intrigued and slightly intimidated by the strange people with the means and resources to secure a private jet to Paris at the last minute in the middle of the night.

As the plane took off, I breathed an automatic sigh of relief. I turned to Bella and smiled at her.

"We're on our way to our new life, love," she said, smiling at me, and I grinned back at her, ecstatic at the wide-open possibilities that spread out endlessly before us. I knew that no matter what came our way, we would face it together, forever.


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 35

We had been in Paris for two months before the end came. We had two months of endless sight seeing during the day and blissful nights tangled in each other's arms, and as I sat staring in horror at the letter Bella had just handed me, I couldn't believe that after such a short time it was all going to come to an end.

The letter was written in a neat, scrawling hand and addressed to Bella. It had been forwarded to us from Forks by the Swans, which was probably why we had been allowed the two months we enjoyed. Had the authors known where to find us to send it to Bella directly, we would have been facing our demise much sooner.

I looked up at Bella and though she tried to hide it, her thoughts were scared. She met my gaze for a brief moment before looking away.

"So what happened?" I asked softly. We were sitting across from each other at the small table in the tiny cottage kitchen.

She ducked her head and sighed softly. "I didn't have a choice, Edward. She was killing you." Her voice was low and desperate as she pleaded for me to understand. I gasped as she let her memories of that fateful day run through her head. Through Bella's eyes, I saw myself lying on the ground, human and bleeding. I closed my eyes as Bella remembered tearing Jane limb from limb. My breathing was ragged as the memory came to an end, and I looked up at Bella. The memory was intense, and I couldn't help the feelings of rage that coursed through me.

I shook my head at Bella. "I would have done the same thing. Thank you, baby. Thank you," I said fiercely as I pushed out from the table and folded her into my arms. I knew Bella had saved me, but seeing the experience through her eyes made me grateful beyond words. Not only did I see what she saw, but through the memory I felt what she was feeling during that awful ordeal. Only now did I really begin to gain an understanding of what she had gone through.

"I almost lost you," she whispered, her voice pained as she clutched at me.

"But you didn't." I stroked her hair soothingly and planted small kisses on the top of her head.

And now I was going to lose her. The letter summoning her to Volterra to answer for Jane's death was as good as a death sentence. However necessary the tiny vampire's destruction had been, Bella had essentially robbed the Volturi guard of one of its most important members. She would have to pay for it.

Amazingly, we were facing sure annihilation yet again. However, this time the threat was really from the Volturi, not just one jilted, angry, twisted vampire pretending to represent them, and I couldn't see any way to escape it. I ground my teeth in frustration. I had thought that my days of feeling weak and powerless had ended with my human life, but as I sat there, clutching the letter that damned us, I could think of no way for us to escape our doom.

"So what do we do?" I asked, standing to pace the small floor.

Bella shrugged and returned to her seat. "I go. I don't really have any other choice. They'll find us if I don't."

I leaned down, placing my hands on the tabletop, as I narrowed my eyes at her and growled, "What do you mean _you'll_ go? I'm going with you."

Bella narrowed her eyes back at me. "No you're not, Edward. They don't want you. They only want me. I'm not putting you in danger."

She was right, of course. There was a slim chance that the Volturi would not feel the need to destroy me in their quest to carry out justice; however, I knew it didn't matter. There was no way I would go on without Bella. Plus, what was I supposed to do? Sit there in Paris waiting to hear word, or for her to return? I would lose my mind.

"I'm going," I growled.

"No you're not," she growled back.

Without breaking her gaze, I sunk back into the chair and reached into my pocket as I pulled out the cell phone I had acquired upon our arrival in Paris. I punched the numbers blindly, not needing sight to guide me. Bella raised her eyebrow, wondering what I was doing. The voice on the other end answered after only a couple of rings and Bella's eyes narrowed in anger as she realized what I was doing.

"Jessica. It's Edward. Hi. Did you know that Bella is planning to go to Volterra alone?"

The angry shrieking on the other end of the line would have been audible even without our super sensitive hearing.

"That's what I thought. See you soon." I flipped the phone closed and smiled smugly at Bella. She shot daggers across the table at me. "Your family will be here in a few hours."

She exploded as she stood abruptly from the table. "That's fine. They are all welcome to come with me. I can protect them. It's you I won't be able to shield. Have you forgotten that?" she yelled, her voice passionate as her hands flailed around in the air.

Her fury sparked my own. "I know that, Bella. I know you can't protect me. I don't care. What do you expect me to do? Wait here until I lose my mind?!" My voice was loud and filled the small space completely.

Bella stood and faced me, eyes narrowed and jaw set in a stubborn line. She stood tall, trying to reach her full height, but still only barely coming to my shoulder. She was so exquisite I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Oh Bella," I said, my voice sad as I wrapped my arms around her. She was unyielding stone for a moment before she crumpled against me and wrapped her arms around me. "Don't ask me to let you go alone."

"How can I put you in danger again, Edward?" she whispered against my chest.

I sighed and pulled her face up to meet mine. "It doesn't matter Bella. Where ever you go, I go. Forever. You are my life now."

I bent slightly to press my lips to hers, and suddenly it seemed more important than ever to cherish every moment we had together. I pulled her back to the bedroom where I laid her on the bed and made love to her over and over, desperate to get as close to her as possible for as long as possible.

Hours later, we heard the sound of a cab's arrival and a door slam, signaling the arrival of our family. We rushed out to greet them, all of us embracing fondly after our short separation. Although our smiles were warm, there was tension and worry in everyone's eyes as we made our way inside the tiny cottage.

"All the arrangements have been made. We all leave for Italy in the morning," Jessica said a while later, hanging up the phone. "Now let's go hunt."

We drove to the countryside where Bella and I had been hunting during our stay in Paris. We all hunted to the point of gluttony in an effort to be as strong and prepared for our time before the Volturi as possible.

At one point, Mike and I were separated from the others as we stalked through the dense forest. He grabbed my shoulder to halt my steps.

"Listen, I know you're worried. You can't help but be. But you know that we're all going to do everything possible to keep Bella safe. We'll all be there together."

"Thanks, Mike. That means a lot to me." I clapped him on the shoulder as we walked back to join the others. I knew that everyone would be fighting to protect Bella; I was just worried that it wouldn't be enough. From what I knew of the Volturi, they were powerful and devastatingly serious. They wouldn't take Jane's loss lying down.

After our hunt, the six of us gathered around the tiny table in the kitchen to discuss strategy. It was a tight fit. The table was built for no more than three at the most, but the Swans seemed to have a fondness for kitchens, so that was where we gathered.

"May I read the letter again please, Bella?" Charlie asked, holding his hand out. Bella reached behind her and pulled the letter off of the counter before spinning back around to hand it to Charlie. His eyes scanned the letter quickly, and I heard its words through his thoughts as he read it. The words were familiar to me now, Bella and I had both read it countless times. It never got any easier though. The unease it caused to form in the pit of my stomach never went away, no matter how familiar the words became.

"Do you have a plan, sweetheart?" Renee asked Bella softly.

Bella sighed and ran her hands over her face. "Well, I don't know that I have much of a choice but to just go and tell the truth. Hopefully they'll listen. I didn't destroy Jane out of malice. I didn't have any other choice."

_It won't matter._

My eyes flashed to Jessica's face. She ducked her head down, immediately ashamed of her thoughts.

_I'm sorry, I just know the Volturi. I've dealt with them before._

I ignored her negative thoughts and turned my attention back to Bella.

"We'll all vouch for you and let them know what happened," Mike said.

Bella nodded. "Thanks, Mike. I know you will."

There was nothing else to be said at the moment. We would just have to wait and see what tomorrow would bring. All we could do was fervently hope that our combined witness would be enough to pardon what Bella had done.

The night seemed both fleeting and endless at the same time. I wanted to stop the incessant ticking of the clock so that we would never have to leave. It seemed as though time were slipping through my fingers like water or sand, never ceasing, always escaping no matter how hard I tried to hold onto it. At the same time, the night seemed to drag on in its velvety blackness.

Bella and I passed the time out in the tiny garden where I had first become sure of her boundless love for me. We stretched out on the lush grass and stared up at the stars, neither of us speaking. Our time was limited, and it was enough just to be in each other's presence.

We were still laying on the lawn when the brilliant sun peeked over the horizon signaling the beginning of another day. At first glance, it looked like the beginning of any other day; however, for Bella and me, this day would be anything but ordinary. This was the day that would decide our fate; whether we lived or died; for we both knew there would be no one without the other.

The brilliant morning sun was short lived, and by the time we were all piled into the cab, the rain was pounding against the roof of the car and running in little rivulets down the windows. The cab ride to the train station was quiet. Our family's thoughts spun around me in a dizzying haze. I chose to tune them all out as much as possible.

In the two months that Bella and I had been in Paris, my resistance to humans had grown quite a bit stronger. Bella and I were able to travel throughout the city, interacting with people as we visited various places of interest. My throat still ached fiercely, but I knew that would never go away.

Because of this, I felt confident that I would be able to handle the train ride from Paris to Volterra. We would switch trains several times, and the trip wouldn't be nearly as long as it had been from Seattle to Paris. Plus, it wouldn't just be Bella there to protect me. The other four members of Bella's family would be there to keep me from harming anyone.

We boarded the train, and I held Bella's hand the entire time. The haze of human blood swirled around me, but I was surprised to find that I was able to push the desire for it to the back of my mind fairly easily. Apparently I was far too occupied with our impending doom for even my vampire nature.

Although the brilliant crimson of my new eyes had faded significantly over the past two months, making them closer to a dull rust color, they were still too red to pass as human in public, so my trusty sunglasses were in place again.

We changed trains three times throughout the day, and each transition only served to increase my anxiety at what was coming. I refused to let go of Bella all day, keeping my arm woven protectively around her waist.

Between travel time and layovers, the sun was just setting as we arrived at the city gates of Volterra. The clouds and rain had stayed with us throughout the day, but I could just catch glimpses the fiery orb through the thick clouds as it sunk below the peaks and spires of the ancient city.

We were greeted at the gate by a tall muscle bound vampire. He nodded to Charlie and Renee and turned a critical eye on Bella and me.

"Good to see you, Felix," Charlie said, gripping his hand firmly.

As Felix led us through the swiftly darkening streets of Volterra, I became intrigued by the tenor of his mind. Felix's thoughts were those of someone who was overly confident in both his abilities and his position. He was cocky and overbearing. He could have cared less about why we were there. He was given orders and followed them precisely.

I was beginning to wonder where we were going when he held up a hand, motioning silently for us to stop. He bent swiftly and pulled the cover off a large sewer grate. I raised my eyebrows in surprise when it became clear that we were to descend into the grate.

One by one, we dropped down into the dark grate. At the bottom, we followed a long narrow passageway. The gloomy atmosphere of the tunnel only added to my anxiety as we traveled deeper into the Volterra underground.

Eventually we arrived at a large door. Felix pulled it open, and it whined and creaked as it swung wide. I was surprised at what we found on the other side.

Soft instrumental music was being pumped in through recessed speakers in the ceiling. The walls were painted a muted ecru and a plush taupe carpet ran down the length of the wide hallway. Scattered intermittently along the walls hung muted neutral paintings. The whole thing was extremely tastefully done, and it was a stark contrast to the dank and damp sewer passage we had just passed through.

Felix led us to a large richly appointed elevator. We all filed in, and as the soft music filtered in, I couldn't help thinking what a surreal experience it was as we rode past an indeterminate number of floors. The whole setting gave me a false sense of ease, and I almost forgot what it was we were heading towards.

The elevator dinged softly, and the doors slid smoothly open. We stepped out and into what appeared to be a completely normal looking waiting room. Along one side was a long desk and I was shocked to see that the smiling girl behind the desk who looked up to greet us as we entered was human.

Felix ignored her eager smile and led us past her through a set of double doors. On the other side of the doors, we stepped into an enormous round room. As I looked up, I realized it was a tower, and I wondered if its spire had been one of those I had seen from the city gates. There were tall thin windows near the top and the thin sliver of moon was shining through one of them. The room was lit by dozens of candles in sconces that hung along the stone walls, and the light flickered dimly across the marble floor.

At the opposite end of the double doors we had just entered through, on a raised platform, were three immense chairs. Seated in each of the throne-like chairs were three obviously ancient vampires. All three of them wore black cloaks that swept the floor. Even in the dim light I could see their bright red eyes and their pale almost translucent skin. One of them had jet black hair, while the other two had snowy white heads. They were flanked on all sides by other vampires wearing similar cloaks only in varying lighter shades of grey.

I knew immediately who they must be. At our entrance, their eyes fell upon us. The white haired vampire seated in the middle smiled at us while the raven haired one maintained a look of utter boredom. The other ashen haired vampire, the one seated to the left, stared at us with open disdain.

I couldn't help the pit of fear in my stomach as they gazed down imperiously at us. I also couldn't help the thoughts that ran, unchecked through my frenzied mind.

_Would any of us leave this room alive?_


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"Bella," the smiling vampire said warmly, rising from his throne. "How good to see you, dear. It's been too long." He clapped his hands together as he descended the small platform and came toward us. The charcoal cloaked vampires that had been loitering behind the trio instinctively moved closer, their desire to stay near their leader to keep him safe obvious in their protective movements. "And look!" He spread his hands wide to gesture to the rest of us. "You've brought your family. What a happy reunion for us!" His eyes traveled over each of the members of our group until they rested on me. "But what's this? Who is this? I didn't know the Swan family had welcomed someone new into their midst…"

His eyes roamed curiously over me, and his thoughts were genuinely curious.

Next to me, Bella squeezed my hand before speaking. "Aro, it's good to see you too. This is Edward, my mate. He joined our family a couple of months ago." Her voice was smooth and calm, but her thoughts were worried and had an edge of panic to them.

Aro approached, eyes never leaving me. "May I?" He reached his hand out and I instinctively recoiled slightly, biting back the growl that bubbled in my throat. I looked at Bella in confusion.

"Aro has a gift, Edward. He can read every thought you've ever had by touching your hand," she explained, her voice a flat monotone.

I was wary, but suspected that I really didn't have a choice in the matter, and he was only asking permission in order to maintain the façade of civility. I nodded once, and he closed the gap, grasping my hand. I gasped as he called forth every thought and memory I had ever had, human and vampire. I watched his eyes widen in surprise as awareness of my gift dawned on him.

He dropped my hand, his eyes never leaving mine. "Fascinating. It appears you are not the only gifted one in your family, Bella," he mused.

Bella didn't respond, and Aro turned and walked back up the small steps of the platform where he returned to his large seat next to his associates. The black haired vampire, Marcus, continued to look bored, while Caius was looking at our group with raised eyebrows.

"Brother, as interesting as Bella's new friend's talent may be, that is not why they were summoned here today." Caius' voice was haughty and snide.

"Ah yes. How true brother," Aro agreed, nodding. He turned his attention to Bella, and I felt myself stiffen. "Well, Bella, it appears you have gotten yourself into quite a bit of trouble. What do you have to say?"

Bella approached the platform and held her hand out to Aro, her chin raised a fraction of an inch. "The easiest way would be to show you," she said softly.

Aro nodded and grasped her hand lightly. It was fascinating to watch Bella's thoughts playing through Aro's mind. Although they flashed through at a rapid pace, it took several moments for them to catch up to our time with Jane. I watched as Bella replayed everything, from Jane's initial visit, through the seemingly interminable week when we thought the very men we were now standing before were coming for us, to Jane's reappearance in the clearing that day.

Aro's eyebrow raised as he saw, through Bella's memories, the way that Jane had savagely attacked me and how Bella fought to save me. His own thoughts were curious and amused as to why Bella had worked so hard to save me. He didn't understand the attachment she had felt to a human.

He saw everything through Bella's eyes: my awful transformation, the time I lay burning on the table while Bella stood over me anxious and worried, the blissful and carefree months Bella and I had spent in Paris, and our receipt of the letter that was the reason we came to Volterra. When Bella's thoughts came to a close with us standing before the three men, Aro looked up at her and smiled.

"I see," he said simply. "I'll need a moment to confer with my brethren,"

With a swish of his cloak he turned and the three men gathered in the furthest end of the spacious room behind the three large thrones. The members of the Volturi guard followed and circled around the three ancient ones protectively, looking back and eyeing us warily as their masters calmly discussed our fate.

Even with our sensitive vampire hearing, it was impossible to eavesdrop in the spacious room with high vaulted ceilings. The men spoke in whispers that were low and became lost as they floated up to the high domed arch. I tried to focus in on their thoughts, but with so many members of the guard in such close proximity to them, I couldn't find any one specific voice. I was getting better with my talent, but I still wasn't good enough to filter so much mental noise out yet. Instead, I was forced to watch and try to decipher what was happening by their gestures.

Aro reached both hands out and took each of his brother's hands in his own, his lips moving rapidly as he relayed to them what he had learned from Bella's touch. Caius' expression grew livid, and I could guess that Aro was to the part where Bella destroyed Jane. Marcus continued on as if nothing were happening, the bored look never leaving his ancient face. Aro's retelling obviously drew to a close and the three began to converse, or at least Aro and Caius conversed while Marcus looked on with boredom.

They had to see. They had to know now, after seeing it first hand through Bella's thoughts, that Bella's actions had been justified. Jane had tricked us and acted under false pretenses. Plus she had tried to kill me, and Bella would not have been able to save me and still have left Jane alive. They had to see all this.

He turned to look at us again and smiled a false smile. I felt compelled to smile back, but I'm sure it came out more like a grimace than an actual smile. The mental voices continued to swirl around me in a dizzying haze. I tried in vain to focus in on Aro's thoughts. After a moment, he broke apart from his brethren and returned to stand by his enormous high-backed chair. Following his lead, the other two returned to their respective chairs as well. The guard cautiously took their places, flanking the three thrones and staring impassively at us.

"Well, before we make our decision, Bella, I have a proposition for you and your mate," Aro smiled at us. I felt a pit of dread in my stomach at his words. I tried to focus in on his thoughts since he was closer to me now. Puzzlingly, I found that while I could hear his mental voice, his thoughts were suddenly unintelligible. I realized he was thinking in a different language, a clear attempt to keep me from reading his mind before he announced his decision regarding Bella's fate. Bella hesitated a moment before nodding for him to continue.

"You know how fond we are of you, young Bella and your family. We have been admirers of yours for many years, watching you from afar." As he spoke, the false sincerity in his voice left a bitter taste in my mouth. "You are so talented, Bella. It's no secret that for years we've admired your ability to shield those around you. Now, happily, you've found an equally talented mate." He turned to me as he continued. "You should know that I very much envy your ability, Edward. To be able to read the thoughts of everyone in the room would be divine."

"What was your question, Aro?" Bella interrupted, her tone bordering on annoyance.

"Patience, Bella," he chided. "I was getting there. He turned his attention back to me. "We are willing to completely pardon Bella for her crime against our guard, for taking one of our most cherished and valuable members from us." His tone was grave and he shook his head as he spoke, emphasizing just how great the Volturi considered Jane's loss to be. I desperately tried to get some sort of read on his mind, but he was still doing a very efficient job of blocking me. "If…Bella and Edward will join our ranks."

I was too shocked to process his words for a moment. Next to me, Bella hissed. The sound snapped me out of my stupor, and I realized with horror what he was proposing.

Hearing Bella, Aro continued, "Now, now, hear us out. There would be no consequences for your imprudent and impulsive actions, Bella. Plus, you and Edward would be very well taken care of here in Volterra. You would both become high ranking members of our guard; a very prestigious offer, I assure you. You would find yourselves quite pleased with life in Volterra, I think. There really are some excellent diversions to be found, not to mention some excellent hunting opportunities." His smile was menacing as he finished his words and I realized what he meant.

"Never," Bella spat.

Next to her, Charlie stepped forward and touched her arm in warning. "Aro, you know how much my family respects you and your family. It is an honor to even have you make such a request. However, as you know, our diet is much too different from your own to allow any sort of a liaison like what you are suggesting to work."

Aro's eyes flashed, and his thoughts, though still unintelligible, were obviously angry for a moment. "Well, your diet could always be modified to be more suitable, couldn't it?" he snapped before composing his features again into a sugary smile.

"I just don't think that would ever work for us," Bella said, her tone also more placating than it had been a moment ago.

It was Caius who spoke next. "Well then, I guess we have our answer, Aro."

And that was apparently the cue. Three huge members of the Volturi guard stepped forward to enclose Bella. Her eyes flashed helplessly to me as they closed rank.

"No!" I roared. This could not happen. They were not going to take her without a fight from me. I was stunned, however, when upon approaching us, they shoved Bella roughly aside and surrounded me.

Of course. All of a sudden it made perfect sense. They couldn't touch Bella because of her shield, and they knew she would be able to protect both herself and the rest of her family. It was only I who was vulnerable in her presence. They would use me as leverage to get what they wanted.

The three burly guards closed in on me and I began to fight back. My eyes flashed wildly around to each of them, and for a moment I thought that I stood a chance. I focused in with all my concentration and found I could read their thoughts and anticipate what their moves would be a split second before they made them. I got in a few good hits. However, trying to decipher what all three of them were thinking at the same time proved to be too much, even for my new and improved vampire mind.

I felt myself being hurled through the air and milliseconds later, I landed on the hard stone floor, skidding to a stop. I heard the marble crack under my rock solid shoulders, and then immediately felt myself being lifted up, pulled by my neck and head.

I heard Bella's ferocious scream somewhere in the background and couldn't help but experience a sick feeling of déjà vu. Only this time, no amount of vampire venom would be able to save me. This was it. I was done. But even as I crouched, kneeling on the cold stone floor, inescapable hands grasping my head, preparing to tear me apart, I couldn't bring myself to regret anything. It seemed a small sacrifice, my life for her freedom.

"Stop!" The voice was harsh and commanding, and the hands around my head and neck paused. I was shocked to realize it was Bella who had spoken. My captors looked toward Aro, and he held his hand out, motioning for them to release me. I felt the hands disappear, and I jumped up and ran back to Bella's side.

"My brother gets a little overzealous in his quest to ensure that justice is served in our world." Aro's voice was meant to be soothing as he spread his hands in front of him magnanimously. "Let us listen to what Bella has to say."

"Aro, mark my words." Bella's voice was low, and the threat it contained was unmistakable. "If you kill Edward, I will make it my personal mission to destroy you and your family. I will not rest until each and every member of your guard is nothing but a smoldering pile of ashes. And then I will come for you and your brothers. Nothing will stop me because if Edward is gone, I will have no more reason to live except to destroy you."

Aro's eyes widened for a moment before narrowing threateningly. Then, shockingly he began laughing. It was the haughty, amused laugh of someone too secure in his position to be affected by the threats of those less powerful than himself.

"Bella," Aro said, shaking his head. His voice was friendly on the surface, but the edge of menace underneath was unmistakable. "Are you really so naïve as to think that you are the first one to threaten us?" The razor sharp tone of his voice had moved to the surface, and he spoke his words through pursed lips and gritted teeth. "You may threaten all you want; it will do you no good. We are very well protected and therefore, virtually untouchable. You have our offer. Have you changed your mind? Do you accept?"

Bella stood, stunned by his tone and his words, her mouth slightly open.

"No!" I bellowed as her thoughts floated into my mind. I would not allow her to sacrifice herself and her happiness for me. "She has not changed her mind. We will never join you."

Bella's desperate eyes flashed to me for a moment before I was seized again by the guard and dragged over to kneel in front of the three brothers again. I felt their hands grip my head and neck again and I closed my eyes, knowing there was no escape this time. We had played all our cards and it had done us no good. There was no out, no escape. Someone would pay for Jane's death and if it had to be me instead of Bella or any of the other members of her family, so be it.

As I knelt, waiting for the end to come, I realized that it had never mattered what we said. The Volturi didn't care. They didn't care whether Bella was justified in killing Jane. They didn't care that Jane had attacked me, and that Bella had been hard pressed to save me after Jane's vicious attack. With a shock, I realized that it would not have mattered to the ancient vampires what our story was. Their minds were made up before we even walked through the door. Jane had been their pet, their protector. She had kept them safe with her sick little talent, and now that she was gone, they were both enraged by her loss, and made more vulnerable at no longer being under her protection.

Bella screamed again, and I felt my dead heart clench at the anguish I heard there. I was not the only one who would be destroyed by the Volturi's verdict. Bella might still be left standing, but I knew she would not be whole again after I was gone.

"Wait, no! Take me instead!" Bella cried, rushing over to the guard.

"Bella, no!" I growled, struggling to twist my head around to find her. "Do not do this!"

She ignored me. "Aro, I will not join your guard, but please, at least take me and let Edward go free. It was I who committed the crime against you. I should be the one punished, not Edward."

Aro raised his eyebrow for a moment as he considered her words.

"No!" I roared as I realized what he was going to do. It was too late.

"I cannot argue the fairness of your proposal, Bella. You'll…disable…your little shield, then?" Aro asked. Bella nodded and I screamed again in rage.

Immediately, I felt the hands of my captors leave my face. I was free, and I sprang to my feet, but I was too late. The guard was too swift for me. They had Bella in their grasp before I had time to even try to protect her.

"Bella, no! You can't do this. Please!" I pleaded, the desperation in my voice clear as I looked back and forth between her and Aro.

Aro shrugged, then lifted his hands in the air in a gesture of mock helplessness. "Edward, I understand your concern, but what can I do? Bella's proposal is fair. It allows justice to be served. But...were either you or Bella to reconsider..." he trailed off suggestively.

"No, Edward. Don't listen to him. Let me do this! It's the only way," Bella cried from behind the guard's inescapable hands.

I felt desperation rock me. I screamed out a curse at the ceiling, fisting my hands in my hair. I wasn't supposed to be weak anymore. I was supposed to be strong enough to protect her, and I was failing again. I didn't want this; I didn't want eternity if she wasn't with me. I wouldn't exist without her.

I turned toward the trio, fists clenched and teeth bared. "You may as well kill me also, because there's no point in me going on if you destroy her." I dropped to my knees by Bella's side. Aro shook his head and sighed. More members of the guard rushed to me, taking my head firmly in their hands.

"Stop!" It was Bella who called out, but her voice was echoed by a different, unfamiliar voice. I felt the hands that held me captive pause and loosen their grip in surprise. I wrenched my neck around in an attempt to decipher to whom the voice belonged. My jaw fell open in surprise when I caught a glimpse of who had entered the room.

Aro's eyes narrowed as he also caught sight of the new visitor. Caius looked outraged, and Marcus simply rolled his eyes.

"Hello, James," Aro said, his voice dry as he stepped down to greet the new arrival. "To what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"I have some information that might be of interest to you regarding the two you are holding in your custody," James said, smirking at me and winking at Bella as he sauntered easily into the room.


	37. Chapter 37: Bella Swan

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 37-BPOV

I was only conscious of what was happening to me in a small part of my brain. The rest of my mind was entirely focused on the fact that Edward, kneeling prostrate in front of the Volturi, was about to be ripped to shreds. My heart physically hurt at the thought. The idea of him no longer existing was more than I could bear. Never mind if I was still here or not, Edward not existing was a travesty. The threats I made to the Volturi to avenge Edward's murder had been my last desperate effort to protect him. They had been useless, and now there was nothing I could do to save him. I felt such a sickening sense of déjà vu at the thought that I actually felt physically ill. I couldn't bring myself to care about my own impending demise.

Time and time again I had failed him and now, as a tribute to my most epic failure, he was going to be destroyed. The beautiful boy who I had selfishly doomed to an eternity of night just so that I'd never have to say goodbye to him was going to be ripped to shreds.

I should have left him alone. My mind raced back to those many months ago when the bronze haired boy with the striking green eyes had first entered the biology classroom. He had wrecked havoc on my life, and consequently made me happier than I had been in all my many years of simply existing. Despite all of that, looking over at him now, I knew I should have found a way to keep him away. I was weak and selfish, and now he was paying the ultimate price for it. I felt guilt crushing me and I heard myself cry out.

The scream died on my lips as I heard another voice join mine in protest against our demise. I stared in disbelief, unable to accept what I was seeing. James. Why was he here? I listened as he told Aro that he had information relating to Edward. I furrowed my brow in confusion. What information could he possibly have? In characteristic James fashion, he turned and winked at me as he spoke to Aro.

I glanced quickly at Edward, immediately grateful that, for the time being, he appeared to be unharmed. My captors had loosened their grip as they too gaped at the unannounced, and obviously unexpected visitor.

If nothing else, James appeared to have bought us some more time. But what was a few more moments when compared to the eternity that I had dared believe that I would have with Edward? I could think of nothing that James would be able to say that would spare Edward or me. In fact, I couldn't think of a single reason that James would want to even try and save us. Impossibly, my heart filled with even more dread as I thought about the other possibility. What if James didn't come here to try and save us, but instead he came to put the proverbial last nail in our coffins.

My vision became hazy as fury filled me. I let a rage-filled growl slide past my lips as I sneered at James from across the room. He stood leaning against Aro's chair, a relaxed smirk on his face as Aro grasped his hand. As my snarl reached him, he looked over at me, raising his eyebrows. He shook his head slightly and smiled, which only served to increase my fury. He was so smug, standing there casually with Aro as Edward and I waited for our destruction. I wanted to fly across the room and rip his head off. But, since I was still being held by the immovable hands of the guard, I was forced to simply observe.

"I see," Aro said, glancing at me.

"Good, I'm glad," James smirked lazily.

I glanced at Edward to see if he was getting a read on James' thoughts, but the expression on his face was the same one of astonishment that he had worn when James had first entered the room. I watched, warily, unsure of what was transpiring between Aro and James.

Aro glanced at the members of his guard that had me in their iron grip. Wordlessly, he gestured to them, and suddenly I was free. I gasped in surprise as I sprung to my feet, whirling toward Edward. I was sure they were releasing me in order to further secure their capture of him, although they would have no trouble containing both of us. There were plenty of willing and able guardsmen.

To my surprise, however, Edward was also free. We gazed at each other in wary but grateful surprise for a moment. At the same time, we reached for one another's hands and I sighed, relieved, if only for the moment, when our skin met. I felt undeniable pleasure flood through me as I felt the spark of electricity flow between us.

"It appears that James here has corroborated your story, Bella. In the face of such irrefutable evidence, it would be a gross miscarriage of justice to exact punishment on either you or your mate. Although, we do so wish you'd reconsider our offer and join us, you and your family are free to go," Aro said, nodding and spreading his hands in front of him.

We all stared for a moment in disbelief. Behind Aro, Caius snarled quietly, clearly displeased with Aro's ruling. Glancing back at Caius' angry face, James hurried over to us. I could only look at him in disbelief.

"We should go," he said quietly as he reached us. He glanced at Edward before placing his hand on the small of my back and steering me out of the room. Edward and the rest of my family followed closely behind.

As soon as we were back in the luxurious lobby, I twisted out of James' light grasp, moving closer to Edward. He placed his arm around my shoulders and I glanced up at him, remembering his reaction to James the last time the two had met. Now that we were out from under the Volturi's watchful gaze, I couldn't be sure Edward would keep his temper in check in James' presence, even though James was apparently responsible for our freedom. Remembering that, I turned to James with a questioning look.

"What just happened in there?"

James smiled as he stopped to lean against the wall. I stopped, rather unwillingly, too, and the rest of our group halted, glancing nervously around at each other. It seemed to be an unspoken consensus that none of us would feel completely safe until we were out of Volterra. James shrugged, the smile still on his face as he glanced from me to Edward.

"You really love her, don't you?" He spoke to Edward, and for a moment I was afraid a conflict was about to break out between the two of them.

"Yes, I do. More than anything," Edward said softly, tightening his grip on my shoulders.

"You'll take care of her then," James said and it wasn't a question, but a statement of fact. I looked back and forth in confusion between the two of them, trying desperately to understand the cryptic conversation the two men were having.

Edward nodded fervently. "I will. Forever."

James nodded, and seemed satisfied by Edward's answer.

"Edward, James…what…" I broke off as James held his hand out to Edward. Edward smiled a grim smile and shook James' hand without hesitation.

"You should get out of here. I can't promise Aro won't realize that he's gotten a raw deal after all and come after you if you hang around too long," James said, releasing Edward's hand.

"What do you mean, James? What deal? Aren't you coming with us?" I asked, more confused than ever.

James smiled down at me. "No, Bella. This is as far as I go. Edward can explain it all to you. Go." He swept his hands in front of him in a gesture indicating that we should be on our way. Using the arm that was still slung around my shoulders, Edward gently guided me toward the exit.

"James, wait!" I called, breaking away from Edward and running back to James. His eyes were ancient and sad as I reached him. I paused for a moment to look back at Edward. He nodded and looked back toward the exit as he and the rest of the group waited for me.

I turned to James. "I don't know what you did, or…why, but thank you." I flung my arms around him quickly and I felt him laugh against my shoulder as he put his arms around me.

"You're worth it, Bella. You deserve to be happy," he whispered.

I moved back to Edward, and as I heard the soft ding announcing the elevator's arrival, I glanced back at him one last time, my mind still whirling over the events of the past hour or so. The elevator doors closed on us, and we were whisked back to the street level.

Edward glanced down at me and squeezed my hand as he smiled. I felt too dazed to even speak until a member of the guard was closing the gates to Volterra behind us.

"Thank you for visiting Volterra. Come back soon," said the smiling vampire. None of us said anything in return. We simply hurried down the street to find a taxi. The car ride was silent. None of us felt safe discussing the events that had just transpired with the taxi driver in such close proximity. I wasn't sure how Edward was feeling, but I still felt wary and on edge. We had come so close to being destroyed, I could hardly believe we were now free.

It wasn't until several hours later when the six of us were crowded around the scrubbed wood table of our tiny Parisian cottage than any of us began to discuss the events of the past day. We all turned to Edward for an explanation.

Edward took a deep breath and shrugged. "He made a deal with them: his service for our freedom."

My eyes widened in surprise. I had thought that James had agreed to do something for the Volturi, but I had never imagined that he had agreed to become one of them.

"What?" I cried. "What do you mean his service? He joined the guard? For us?"

Edward nodded thoughtfully, silent for a moment.

"Wow," Jessica said quietly. Charlie and Mike were silent and Renee shook her head pensively.

"Bella, he really loves you," Edward said softly, his voice laced with sadness.

I felt guilt rocket through me. "But I didn't ask for this…how could he…" I faded off, unsure of what to say.

Edward reached for my hand and rubbed his thumb over it soothingly. "I know, honey, he doesn't think that you asked for this. He did it voluntarily. At first, he tried to just be a witness, to give a second account of the events that had transpired with Jane, but it quickly became obvious that the Volturi wouldn't be swayed, so he offered himself."

Again, I was stunned into silence. Sensing my distress, Edward looked up at me and smiled reassuringly. "He really doesn't look at it as much of a sacrifice, you know. He won't have to change his diet any, and I really sensed a note of excitement in his thoughts. He sees it as a new challenge. Plus, Aro was very eager to get someone with his tracking abilities on his side. James will be well taken care of."

I shook my head. I was sure I knew James better than that. The one thing he valued above all was his freedom. The freedom to travel and answer to no one. I couldn't imagine that life as a member of the Volturi guard was something he wanted for himself. He had done this, this selfless, self-sacrificing thing for us, for me.

"How could he do this? He hates the Volturi," I mumbled, still shaking my head.

Edward shrugged. "I didn't know him before, Bella, but honestly, he seems to get along with them. He spent a lot of time with them in Volterra after you two separated. I think he'll be fine. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful to him for what he did for us, but I think he's going to be just fine."

I couldn't wrap my head around it. It seemed impossible that he would do something like that for me. I knew James still cared for me. I knew he still loved me even, but to do something like that just to save Edward and me was incredible.

"So, that's it?" I asked in hesitant disbelief. "We're…free?" I glanced around at my family. They all smiled warmly at us and nodded.

Jessica shrugged. "I knew it would all work out."

Edward raised an eyebrow at her. "Really? You didn't seem so confident before we got there."

At Edward's words, Jessica dropped her eyes to the table and mumbled something unintelligible. Suddenly, she was on her feet, and her tiny arms were stretched around both of us.

"I'm glad you're okay. I was really worried." Her voice was intense. Both Edward and I hugged her, patting her back reassuringly.

We spent a little more time around the table discussing the Volturi situation and James' unexpected aide. Soon, Charlie and Renee looked at each other.

"Bella, Edward, as much as we hate to leave, I've got to get back to the station." Charlie said, pushing his chair back and standing from the table.

"We should go, too. I'm sure you two want to have your…celebration time," Mike said, wagging his eyebrows at Edward and me. We laughed, and Edward punched Mike's arm. Mike grimaced and glared at Edward. This time, Edward didn't apologize, and I thought he looked a little smug as we walked everyone to the door.

"I'm so glad you two are okay. Come visit as soon as you can," Renee whispered as she embraced first me, and then Edward. After several more goodbyes and reassurances to visit soon, we closed the door behind my family.

As I leaned against the closed door, I sighed, feeling drained. I looked at Edward, and he smiled down at me as he wrapped me in his strong arms. I could feel the stress and strain of the past day that he'd been holding back in the presence of others begin to surface as we held each other in the tiny hallway. We were silent for a long time, simply holding each other and basking in each other's presence. I couldn't believe how close I had come to losing everything today. I clung to him as he scooped me up and carried me to the bedroom, his lips searching to find mine as he moved.

"Bella…" he growled into my neck, and suddenly his hands were everywhere as he set me down on the bed. His words were mostly unintelligible as we moved together, but I caught certain phrases like "forever" and "never again" and "you're mine" and "almost gone" and "love you".

He made love to me with an air of desperation, like he couldn't get close enough, or hold me tight enough. I knew how he felt, because I felt exactly the same way as I ran my hands up and down every inch of him, wanting to get impossibly closer to him.

"Edward….I love you," I gasped into his shoulder.

"Bella…I love you too. Don't ever leave me…" he moaned, moving his face so I could see his eyes.

I shook my head, "No, never. I'll never leave you. I love you. I love you so much, Edward. We're going to be together forever."

As the words left my lips, I was struck by the truth of them. We had survived so much. We had come so far, and we had done it all together. I knew then that it wouldn't matter what happened, as long as we had each other, we would be fine. And we would have each other every day for the rest of forever.


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 38

"Come on, Edward. You're going to be late!" My mother's voice filled the small tent as she stuck her head through the flap, a frenzied scowl in place on her face.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming!" I grumbled, pretending to be annoyed. I made my way over to her in two quick strides, reaching down to peck her cheek as I stepped through the tent's opening.

She shook her head at me and rolled her eyes, and for a brief moment, her thoughts took in my otherworldly appearance. She hadn't quite been able to get used the new me yet. As usual, she chose to say nothing. Instead, she linked her arm through mine, and I guided her into the large white airy tent, down the aisle, and to her seat. I patted her hand softly as I let go of her arm, releasing her so she could sit in the front row next to Carlisle.

My father glanced up at me and smiled as he put his arm around Esme. I smiled back, glad that his thoughts were filled with nothing but happiness for me. Next to him, Renee and Charlie were talking quietly. Renee turned to greet us and squeezed my mom's hand excitedly. The two of them practically bounced up and down in their seats as they grinned like school girls at each other. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help laughing.

My attention was caught by the people entering at the back of the tent. Excusing myself, I turned, almost unable to believe my eyes. I strode quickly over to the rear of the airy tent.

"You came," I beamed.

Jasper glanced up at me and both his expression and his thoughts revealed his surprise at my appearance. He recovered quickly and smiled the same smug smirk I remembered so well.

"Of course we came. We wouldn't miss this for anything!" It was Alice who piped up next to him. I glanced down at her tiny figure and laughed.

I quickly took in their appearance. Both still looked good, despite the time that had passed. Did humans really change so much in so short a time? Then again, it had been nearly ten years since I had last seen them. Jasper's hair was still a dirty blonde, and it still hung in his face, despite being styled differently now. Alice was just as tiny as ever, but the hair that I remembered being short and spiky now hung long and wavy just past her shoulders.

"Rose and Emmett are parking the car. They'll be here soon," Jasper explained, looking around the huge tent. "Wow," he said as he took in the thousands of tiny lights and white petals that were adorning nearly every surface of the tent.

I laughed and shook my head. "I know. Bella and Jessica went a little nuts." I shrugged. "What can you do though?"

Suddenly, a toe headed child seemingly came from nowhere and slammed into my leg. I glanced down, startled and concerned for his well being. He looked up at me, eyes wide with fear.

"Kellan!" a woman's voice called. I recognized it at once, even though I hadn't heard it in years, and grinned in spite of myself. Jasper and Alice stepped aside and turned slightly toward the voice, leaving my view unobstructed. Rosalie, holding the hand of a slightly larger child than the one who had slammed into me, and hugely pregnant, waddled toward us. Behind her, Emmett held another blonde child in his arms.

"Edward!" he boomed.

"Rose, Emmett. So good of you to come." I nodded in their direction, keeping my distance, unsure of how much Jasper had told them of my mysterious appearance.

Despite her harried and agitated demeanor, it became immediately clear that motherhood had really changed Rose. It made her softer somehow.

We stood and chatted for a few minutes. It was awkward at first, having gone without seeing my old friends for so long, but soon we began reminiscing about our days at Forks High, and they filled me in on all of the things I had missed after my departure. I had to admit how much I had missed my human friends.

Soon, the string quartet we had hired struck their first note, signaling that it was time for everyone to take their seats. I helped the four of them and their children find seats near the front of the tent.

I turned, surprised by how full the tent had suddenly become, and by how many of the faces I recognized. There were people there from my human life, like Jasper and Alice, but there were also people there from my last ten years of vampire life. There were many of the friends that Bella and I had made during our travels around the world; like Tanya and her family, a group of vampires we had found in Alaska who were also living a "vegetarian" lifestyle. Laurent and Garrett, two vampires we had met in France were sitting in the back row, sunglasses firmly in place. As I scanned the tent, I was surprised by the face I found seated in the very back row. James, sitting beside a vampire with fiery red hair, grinned at me as our eyes met. I smiled at him and nodded slightly, making a note to speak to him later.

I made my way to the front and turned to face the crowd just as the quartet struck the first chord of Pachabel's Canon in D. My eyes searched for the one face that was the reason I was here. After a moment, I saw her. My breath caught, and I couldn't help the wide smile that spread across my face at the sight of her. She met my gaze, and her answering smile was just as brilliant.

Her hair was up, save for a few tendrils which drifted loosely around her face. The dress she wore was white and lacy and clung to her figure before drifting down and trailing out behind her for several feet. Her skin was pale and perfect and beautiful, and it contrasted, as always, against her dark hair and her gorgeous tawny eyes.

As she approached, the smile on my face grew even wider as I realized that her thoughts were serene. There was no hesitation, no second thoughts, no wavering. She wanted this as much as I did.

When she was still about five feet away, I grew impatient. I stepped down from the platform, rushed to her, grabbed her around the waist, and carried her the remaining few steps, setting her down next to me on the raised platform. The audience chuckled and Bella gasped, but then laughed and rolled her eyes at me. I couldn't help it. I didn't want to wait any longer to make her mine in every sense of the word.

We turned in unison to the preacher. He raised his eyebrow disapprovingly at me for a moment, but then cleared his throat to begin. I turned to gaze at Bella, and after a moment, she turned and met my gaze steadily.

Even with vampire wits and telepathy, I couldn't focus on the minister's words. I knew the only words I was waiting to hear, and I stood, growing ever more impatient to hear them uttered. Finally, I heard them.

"I do," I said, never breaking Bella's gaze. Then it was her turn.

"I do," she echoed me, still holding me in her gaze.

It was only because of our increased dexterity and coordination that we managed to slide the rings on each other's fingers, because neither of us were willing to take our eyes off the other one for even a moment.

"You may kiss the bride," the minister said. I smirked at Bella for a moment before gathering her in my arms, sweeping her off her feet, and bringing my lips to hers for a passionate and intense kiss.

Again, our audience chuckled and tittered quietly as they waited for the kiss to end. Finally, unwillingly, I pulled my lips away from hers, smiling at the dazed look on her face and the jumbled thoughts that ran through her head. I loved that I still had that affect on her, even after all these years. For that matter, she still had quite an effect on me. I loved her more today than I ever had.

Our decision to become husband and wife had started out as merely a formality. We had been living as a married couple for a decade now, traveling around and enjoying ourselves immensely as we toured various parts of the world. But, as I stood with my new wife by my side, I couldn't help the feeling of euphoria that swept through me. She was my wife. I was married to Bella now.

Taking Bella's hand in mine, we stepped off the platform and began making our way down the aisle. We were immediately flanked on all sides by friends and family members giving us their best wishes and embracing us as they planted kisses on our cheeks. There was such a flurry of activity around us, it became difficult to distinguish the identities of those who pressed in, eager to get close enough to congratulate us. I became aware of only the differences between our human and vampire well wishers.

With a smoothness and precision that was a credit to Jessica's party planning skills, the chairs were cleared out of the way, and a dance floor was laid down. Huge tables were brought in and set up along the far side of the tent, and soon they were heavily laden with food, even though more than half of the guests would not be partaking. Smaller tables and chairs were grouped next to the dance floor, and the guests began filing back in and taking their seats at the round tables which were draped with heavy white linens and what I could only assume were very fragrant bouquets of white flowers.

The sides of the tent were drawn back, allowing the cool breeze to drift in. The ceremony had been completed just as the sun set, and now the sky was fading into a deep periwinkle blue and the first stars were just beginning to twinkle above us. The quartet, still in place, struck up a chord and I took Bella's hand again, leading her to the dance floor.

Once we reached the middle of the floor, I scooped her into my arms, lifting her feet off the ground in my desire to be as close to her as possible. She giggled and nuzzled my jaw line as I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Cullen."

"Mmm. I like the sound of that, Mr. Cullen," she breathed.

"You know, now that it's official you're never going to be able to get rid of me."

Her laugh was lilting and light as she threw her head back, the twinkling lights bouncing ethereally off her already luminous skin. "I'm counting on that."

I laughed and spun her around in time with the music, her dress catching the breeze and swirling around us. After a few moments, Charlie cleared his throat behind me. I turned to look at him and smiled, knowing what he wanted. I was only a little unwilling to relinquish Bella to her father. She appeased me by whispering in my ear that she would make it up to me later.

As Bella twirled effortlessly across the floor with Charlie, I turned and sought out my mother. I found her seated next to my father. She easily agreed to a dance, and I led her onto the floor.

"Are you happy?" she asked softly as we moved at a slower pace than Bella and her father. She reached up and brushed a stray piece of my hair out of my eyes.

"I've never been happier, mom," I said, gazing steadily into her eyes.

She nodded. "I know. Anyone within a ten mile radius can tell how perfect you and Bella are for each other."

I laughed and was once again glad that Bella and I had decided to hold our wedding in Forks. It was the site of where it had all began for us. It seemed very appropriate that we would return to this place to bind ourselves together in yet another way.

Besides, it was wonderful to see all of our old human friends again. We had kept in fairly good contact with my parents over the years, calling and emailing as much as possible, but our visits had been rare, and I had been unable to see Jasper and Alice at all during our time away. From the emails we exchanged, I knew that Jasper and Alice had gone away to the University of Washington together after graduation and had gotten married themselves soon after that, but at the time I had been too nervous about the changes I had undergone to attend their wedding and see all of the people I knew I would inevitably run into.

Now, a decade later, it was they who had changed, while I knew I remained unchanged and untouched by time. I knew from their thoughts they were curious about it, but like so many of my human friends and family, amazingly, they had chosen to accept these changes, even though they couldn't explain or make sense of them.

It was several more turns around the dance floor before I got Bella back in my arms. I danced with Alice, Jessica, my mother again, Tanya, and even Rosalie. For her part, Bella danced with Mike, my father, Laurent, and even James. I had to smile when I saw her in James' arms. Any jealously I had regarding James had long since died away. After our visit to Volturi, I understood that James' intentions toward Bella were not malicious. While he still loved her deeply, he was resigned to the fact that there was no future between them. Besides, I could hardly harbor any ill feelings towards the man who had single handedly saved us from the wretched Volturi.

Bella and I danced a few more dances together before we left the dance floor and began to make our way around the room, greeting those guests we had not had time to acknowledge yet. We were offered hearty congratulations, and I received several jubilant slaps on the back.

Soon we came to the table where James was lounging, his arm slung over the shoulder of the girl with the fiery red hair. They were seated further back in the shadows, and I knew it was to hide their fiery red eyes. I had been worried about inviting those vampire friends who did not share our lifestyle or diet, but Bella had predicted that their respect for us would keep our human friends safe. So far, her prediction was correct. I continually scanned their thoughts for signs of trouble, but their esteem for us was keeping the humans in the room safe.

"James, good to see you," I said, offering him my hand. He shook it firmly, an easy grin on his face.

"Hey, Edward, Bella. Congratulations," he said warmly, standing to embrace Bella. "Let me introduce you. This is Victoria."

Victoria stood also and thrust her hand out. I took it and nodded at her. She turned to Bella.

"I've heard so much about you, Bella. It's great to finally meet you." Her voice was high and almost nasally, but her tone, along with her thoughts, was warm and sincere.

"It's great to meet you, too. So how did you two meet?" Bella asked, glancing back and forth between James and Victoria.

James smirked at Victoria and slung his arm over her shoulders again. "Victoria is a member of the guard too."

Bella raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Oh! That's great. I don't remember seeing you on our last visit? Are you a recent addition?"

"Yes, I just joined the Volturi two years ago." She turned and gazed lovingly at James. "We hit it off right away."

As I watched the interaction between the duo, I was struck by the affection between them. They were well matched to each other. Victoria's personality was determined and fierce, and complemented James' stubbornness and over-confidence.

I was genuinely happy for James. Despite the fundamental differences we had regarding the value of human life, I felt like he was a good guy. He sincerely cared for Bella and even me, in a round-about way. I was glad he had found someone to reciprocate his feelings.

"We are very grateful to you for coming all this way for our special day," Bella said.

"Well, I've heard so much about the famous Edward and Bella, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to meet you," Victoria smiled.

Bella and I chuckled and exchanged a few more pleasantries with the pair before embracing them and moving on. We moved between the tables, greeting and thanking and embracing as we went. By the time we finished making the rounds, I actually felt like I could be tired, if that were possible.

Eventually, the periwinkle sky turned indigo and our guests began to file out, pressing one last kiss onto our cheeks, and giving one last offer of congratulations as they made their way beyond the reach of the twinkling lights into the velvety blackness of the night.

Soon, Bella and I were alone under the billowy canopy of the massive tent. The string quartet had packed up their instruments and left, but the lack of music didn't stop me from taking Bella into my arms once more on the dance floor. We swayed in time to the music only we could hear. The catering crew moved quietly around us, cleaning up the remnants of food and taking down tables and decorations.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen. Are you ready to leave?" I whispered softly in her ear while running my fingers up and down her spine.

"Mmmm." She nodded, tightening her hold around my neck as I bent down to scoop her up into my arms.

I carried her, keeping a human pace as long as we were in sight of the pavilion. As soon as we were under the cover of the darkness and the trees I took off, streaking through the velvet darkness. Bella laughed in my arms and I bent down to kiss her as I ran, never breaking my stride.

I knew we would have to go back for our car soon to avoid raising suspicion. We had agreed that we would spend our wedding night in Port Angeles, opting not to stay in Forks' one and only hotel. But for now, it felt good just to run through the forest, our forest, with Bella in my arms. I could have put her down so she could run beside me as my equal, but there was something about having her in my arms that made me feel like I was keeping her safe and protecting her, a feeling I never grew tired of.

Soon, we reached the place I had been striving toward all along: our meadow. So much of our story was tied to this spot. I slowed and set Bella on her feet. In the ten years since Bella had first taken me to this spot, I had never once visited it in darkness. The change night brought was breath taking. The long grasses that I remembered swaying softly in the brilliant sunlight were now deep purple as they waved to us. The wildflowers stretched as far as the eye could see, many of them had closed their petals protectively in anticipation of the coming day.

Bella and I lay down among the soft grass and gazed up at the moon. We watched the clouds roll across the sky, occasionally covering the moon, only to move again and let the brilliance of the full lunar light reach us.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked softly after a while.

I shrugged. "Just thinking about how much significance this meadow holds for us. It's where I first told you that I loved you."

"I remember," she said softly.

I rolled over and brought my face to hers. "It's where you made me the happiest man alive. Well, until today that is."

We lay for a long time in our meadow, quiet and content. I couldn't help thinking about the path that my life had taken in the last decade. How was it possible that I had gotten every single thing I wanted, plus others that I didn't even know that I could have? I thought of my human friends and family. Understandably, they were left in the dark about the inexplicable changes in my life. But after tonight, I knew that they were truly happy for me. I was lucky enough to have human friends and family that loved me and accepted me for who I was, and now, amazingly, I had a vampire family that loved me and took me in as one of their own.

But most amazingly, I had the exquisite creature next to me. She had accepted me and let me into her life, despite the danger and peril that our love brought for both of us. For a time, it had seemed that we were destined to be kept apart. But as I looked over at her, her long soft hair splayed across the grass, her white dress contrasting starkly with the dark grasses of the meadow, her thoughts peaceful and serene, I knew we would always be together. Would there be challenges and trials that came our way? Of course, but we would face them together. Our love would be enough to get us through any challenge, any problem, any obstacle.

I leaned closer to her. She turned her head slightly to meet my gaze, smiling at the intensity she found there. She reached up and stroked my hair as I spoke. "Thank you."

"For what?" she asked.

"For letting me love you, even though it went against all your instincts. For letting down your guard and letting me in. For letting love in."

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my little story! :) **


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